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  #1  
Old 07-31-2018, 07:29 PM
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Default DCM Refuses to Believe Infant's Daily Note Sheet

Hi everyone, hoping for some advice here.

Last week a new little one joined our class (9 weeks) and has had great days so far. DCM has had two little ones at the center and pulled them out several times for various reasons, so I have been a little wary and definitely minding my P's and Q's when it comes to this DCB.

Yesterday DCM stormed back after I'd gone home and interrogated the closing teacher because baby's daily note sheet did not include a nap for the last two hours of the day but DCM "knew she must have napped".

When I called to discuss it today, she told me she thought that we were just 'slapping some times on the page' when it came to the daily sheet because she hadn't expected DCB to poop that day (and she did) and baby refuses to take a bottle at home (but drank all four oz for every feeding).

Director is not at all open to terming, so I have to find a way to work with this mom.
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Old 08-01-2018, 02:00 AM
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Other than possibly snapping pictures of her baby, I can't think of a thing that will instill trust in this woman. It's either a trust issue or she's jealous of others taking care of her own children and does not want to work. I don't understand why she's already pulled kids 2 previous times yet brought another baby, if she's that unhappy with the care?

All you can do is keep open communication with this dcm, but to me, I doubt she'll ever reach a point that she's happy with care(anywhere) for her kids.

You say she's pulled her other 2 several times? Why does she come back and does she go to other centers then return? Why doesn't the director find someone else and refuse to take this dcf back? Do you ever interact with the dad? Maybe put a bug in the director's ear that someone needs to talk with her about building trust
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Old 08-01-2018, 04:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
I don't understand why she's already pulled kids 2 previous times yet brought another baby, if she's that unhappy with the care?
I'm thinking she would pull something like this no matter where she took her kids, cause obviously she has no real issue or she would not be still there.
Perhaps it's her way to deal with her jealousy and the need to still feel in control.
I could not have someone who accuses me of any wrong doing, in my house
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Old 08-01-2018, 05:07 AM
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I'm thinking she would pull something like this no matter where she took her kids, cause obviously she has no real issue or she would not be still there.
Perhaps it's her way to deal with her jealousy and the need to still feel in control.
I could not have someone who accuses me of any wrong doing, in my house
Too bad you cannot make the terming decision. I would not want to provide care for a parent who did not trust me.That leads to other bad things etc...I would talk to your director about considering looking for a better fit.
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Old 08-01-2018, 06:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Gemma View Post
I'm thinking she would pull something like this no matter where she took her kids, cause obviously she has no real issue or she would not be still there.
Perhaps it's her way to deal with her jealousy and the need to still feel in control.
I could not have someone who accuses me of any wrong doing, in my house
Absolutely agree!

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Originally Posted by amberrose3dg View Post
Too bad you cannot make the terming decision. I would not want to provide care for a parent who did not trust me.That leads to other bad things etc...I would talk to your director about considering looking for a better fit.
I would look to the director as well.
If she isn't willing to terminate a family then she has to be willing to have a plan in place in regards to how to handle them.
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Old 08-01-2018, 07:01 AM
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I would copy the infant report daily and give it to the director. When she questions it, refer her to the director. Tell her she has a copy and she can make an appointment to discuss it. If the director feels the information is misinformation then you can set up a plan where anything that is on the report that is documented is immediately called into the director as you are writing it.

That way she can have the discussions with her and the director gets the information in real time.

I wouldn't walk on pins and needles. I would just give her a plain face and say "this is what happened at these times. If you have any concerns the director would be pleased to have a conference with you regarding the information." As soon as the gig is up on refuting the information then she will change it to not WHAT you said but HOW you said it. Make sure you say it in a professional voice with no facial expressions other than a plain face. Then thank her for her concern. Try to have a witness if you don't have cameras with audio to prove it.

This isn't personal so don't make it personal. Just respond to her as you would any other question any parent would have. Truth, nothing but the truth, and then a pass to the director.

Last edited by nannyde; 08-01-2018 at 07:04 AM.
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Old 08-01-2018, 07:06 AM
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^ I agree.

This should be the director's responsibility.

Management is there to diffuse situations and protect their business, employees and customers. Ultimately, their job to deal with the hostility.
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  #8  
Old 08-01-2018, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I would copy the infant report daily and give it to the director. When she questions it, refer her to the director. Tell her she has a copy and she can make an appointment to discuss it. If the director feels the information is misinformation then you can set up a plan where anything that is on the report that is documented is immediately called into the director as you are writing it.

That way she can have the discussions with her and the director gets the information in real time.

I wouldn't walk on pins and needles. I would just give her a plain face and say "this is what happened at these times. If you have any concerns the director would be pleased to have a conference with you regarding the information." As soon as the gig is up on refuting the information then she will change it to not WHAT you said but HOW you said it. Make sure you say it in a professional voice with no facial expressions other than a plain face. Then thank her for her concern. Try to have a witness if you don't have cameras with audio to prove it.

This isn't personal so don't make it personal. Just respond to her as you would any other question any parent would have. Truth, nothing but the truth, and then a pass to the director.
YES. and if you have the release, photo document (these are time stamped) what you can. Drinking a bottle, a photo of the dirty diaper, a nap, etc.
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Old 08-01-2018, 11:33 AM
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I can’t get over the part where dcm hadn't expected baby to poop that day! Sorry, OP, I don’t mean to make light of the situation, but what a ridiculous dcm!
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Old 08-01-2018, 01:58 PM
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I agree with putting this back on the director. Give mom your best “I am bored” face and do not give her ANY attention. Attention for her is arguing and getting any emotional response from you. Simply and calmly say “I record what happens, if you have an issue please speak with the director.
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  #11  
Old 08-01-2018, 04:22 PM
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Thanks everyone!

I can't believe I didn't think of photo documenting. We did briefly use LifeCubby for that sort of thing, but phased it out due to lack of parent interest. If our subscription is still good, maybe I'll try that.

Today she requested that I phone her at the end of every feed which seemed to keep her happy but can't continue. It takes forever to get her off the phone, and I have seven other infants that need attention.

Thanks for all the tips!

Also, DCB pooped twice today, so I imagine there'll be heck to pay in the morning.
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Old 08-01-2018, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kb220 View Post
Thanks everyone!

I can't believe I didn't think of photo documenting. We did briefly use LifeCubby for that sort of thing, but phased it out due to lack of parent interest. If our subscription is still good, maybe I'll try that.

Today she requested that I phone her at the end of every feed which seemed to keep her happy but can't continue. It takes forever to get her off the phone, and I have seven other infants that need attention.

Thanks for all the tips!

Also, DCB pooped twice today, so I imagine there'll be heck to pay in the morning.
severe case of PASS. Parental Attention Seeking Syndrome
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Old 08-01-2018, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kb220 View Post
Thanks everyone!

I can't believe I didn't think of photo documenting. We did briefly use LifeCubby for that sort of thing, but phased it out due to lack of parent interest. If our subscription is still good, maybe I'll try that.

Today she requested that I phone her at the end of every feed which seemed to keep her happy but can't continue. It takes forever to get her off the phone, and I have seven other infants that need attention.

Thanks for all the tips!

Also, DCB pooped twice today, so I imagine there'll be heck to pay in the morning.
Ugh. This woman needs a nanny with a live feed nanny cam.

I would not be willing to make calls, is this something your director has instructed you to do? If possible, can you switch to a text or messaging app?
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Old 08-01-2018, 05:28 PM
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Originally Posted by boy_mom View Post
Ugh. This woman needs a nanny with a live feed nanny cam.

I would not be willing to make calls, is this something your director has instructed you to do? If possible, can you switch to a text or messaging app?
Director has asked that we make the phone calls until a better solution is found.

She seems to realize that mom can be a lot to handle but is very concerned about keeping her happy/bending over backwards for her. I imagine there's a financial aspect to that decision because all three kids are enrolled and receiving five day a week care. I'm hoping that when the school age boys go back to school we can take a look at our options again.
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Old 08-02-2018, 02:01 AM
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How in the world do you have time to call dcm after every feeding? And what does that prove to her? I can't imagine if all 7 infants' moms demanded that kind of attention.
I feel so lucky when I hear stories like this, that I don't work in a center and have to bend to someone else's outrageous rules to keep a dcp happy. But I feel so bad for those of you that do.
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Old 08-02-2018, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by kb220 View Post
Director has asked that we make the phone calls until a better solution is found.

She seems to realize that mom can be a lot to handle but is very concerned about keeping her happy/bending over backwards for her. I imagine there's a financial aspect to that decision because all three kids are enrolled and receiving five day a week care. I'm hoping that when the school age boys go back to school we can take a look at our options again.
ask your director about going to app, like hi mama or tadpole where the parents can log in or get emailed real time updates all day!
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Old 08-02-2018, 08:36 PM
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I use the Daily Connect app and parents can get real time updates... assuming I update in real time. Most days I'm so busy with the children that I update when they're outside, at nap, and after pick up. But I know parents check in during the day because they'll mention something that happened that day at pick up.
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Old 08-03-2018, 06:07 PM
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DCB scratched her face during nap today and DCM was so angry she could barely speak. She got herself pretty good, so I get why mom was upset, but I'm not 100% sure what she would have liked us to do.

From the way she was talking today, I doubt we'll be seeing her much longer.
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Old 08-04-2018, 02:36 AM
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Originally Posted by kb220 View Post
DCB scratched her face during nap today and DCM was so angry she could barely speak. She got herself pretty good, so I get why mom was upset, but I'm not 100% sure what she would have liked us to do.

From the way she was talking today, I doubt we'll be seeing her much longer.
I assume nothing at all happens to dcb on dcms time? How were dcbs nails at the time he scratched himself? I've had that happen a few times when a dck goes to nap, and wakes up with a scratch and I feel like wth but it happens. Thankfully, most parents are normal and know this kind of thing happens in real life to real kids.
Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll pull but not return this time. I couldn't work on pins and needles afraid a dck is going to injure themselves by being a normal kid.
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