Do You Have to Be Married to Run a Daycare?

Hello, I am new to this forum and researching opening a home daycare.

My child development instructor opened the course by saying, "Those of us who are successful in this field have professional husbands who can supplement our incomes." I know the vast majority of family child care providers are married and operating out of single-family homes.

I am single and own a large condo with a decent-sized patio area. I know I could make a great use of the space for child care, but I'm concerned that my business would not be competitive or financially viable without a second income or a large yard. I know I could make more money teaching at a center, but I really want the autonomy of running my own program.

I would love to hear from other providers who are single and/or operating out of an apartment/condo.

Thanks :-)

Single. Successful. But I have a house and big yard. Having a husband was not a neccessity for me, though I was married when I began. I raised my family on my own after the first few years, no child support so totally dependent on my own income. Failure was not an option!
There certainly should not be any rule stating that you have to be married! Maybe they are saying that it's difficult to get started in your area?

[Mike]

You definitely don't have to be married. Just do a thorough financial inspection to see if you can afford it. Make sure to include all possible expenses. Some go into it thinking it's big money because you have 5 children at $800/m each, you make $4000/m. They start up, don't get 5 full timers right away, find out there are costs they didn't plan, and they shut down.

Figure out all costs at 3/4 capacity and if the net income is suitable for you, go ahead.

[permanentvacation]

Oh no, you do NOT need a spouse for this job. I kicked my husband (now ex) out of the house 12 years ago and have been doing licensed home daycare the entire time!

Now, if you have followed my posts on here, you will see that I have had financial problems for years. But that is mainly because my ex controlled my money by being abusive to me if I didn't give my kids everything they asked for. When I lived out of state and he didn't know that I told my kids that they couldn't buy extra things, I did just fine. When I could budget my money, without him dictating to me that I HAD to spend money on extra unnecessary things, I did just fine on my own.

Now, I will admit that daycare enrollment fluctuates often unexpectedly. So, I suggest that you set up a good emergency fund of a couple months' expenses, and if you can, get a part-time evening and weekend job out of the house and put that money into savings. Or get the side job for a few months when daycare income gets low. And create a budget that calculates your income being (like Mike said) about 3/4 of what your possible income could be.

As far as being in a condo/apartment, first, make sure your building allows you to operate a home business so you don't take a chance on being evicted for going against your lease. I, however, did go against my lease a few years ago and operated my licensed home daycare from an apartment and did perfectly fine with enrollment and since my household bills (rent, water, gas, and electric) were less than my bills are now in a townhouse, I was able to pay my bills (other than when my ex made me give too much extra money to my kids). Since I was in an apartment with no fenced in yard, I did lower my rates to compensate my parents for the lack of a fenced in yard. But I offered more with my program than most daycares do, so people hired me with no problem. My enrollment was at full capacity probably 95% of the time that I was in the apartment!

[permanentvacation]

Also, I don't know if you have looked into things like this, but you might want to learn about ways that you can get help with your bills before you need that help. In my state, you can get help with your gas and electric bill ( I think once per year), and in my area, the gas and electric company tells you that they will cut your services off for non-payment, but they don't really turn your services off until you owe them $1,000, you can get help paying your rent, if you're income is low enough, you can get food stamps, free health and dental insurance, and a free cell phone through the state, and there are plenty of food pantries that you can go to. Now, that's some of the things I know of in my area. I don't know what help you can get in your area. But you might want to research and find out.

I know many people don't agree with getting help from the government, help from anyone for that matter, or free hand-outs, but my personal belief is that as long as you are truly doing your best to help yourself by working and controlling your spending, then to need help is acceptable. I feel that it is not acceptable for people to not even try to work and instead just sit around planning and expecting to live off of the government.

I never thought that I would be looking for hand-outs, going to food pantries, getting food stamps, or be on government insurance. Honestly, when I was married, I had no idea that any of those things even existed! When I was married, we had plenty of money! But he was abusive and after many years of being abused myself, knowing that my children were seeing and hearing their father abuse their mother, and then a little while after he started verbally threatening to physically harm my younger daughter, I kicked him out and told him that I'd rather live in a cardboard box on the street than live with him one more day. Not too long after he moved out, I was pretty close to looking for a cardboard box to live in! So I started asking people how 'poor people' lived.

After I adjusted financially to being a single mother, (until he became controlling of my spending on the girls), I did just fine. He just became so abusive and controlling about me giving the girls money, that I basically threw my hands up in the air and gave up. Whenever the girls wanted something, just to keep him from going off, I gave them money. I kept telling myself that I'd figure my finances out one day. Now is that 'one day'. He stopped telling me what to do with my money, my daughter turned 18, and I finally have complete control over my money. I just created a budget in which I expect to pay off 4 credit cards by the end of this month!

So, create a good budget with expected income of 1/4 less than you should be able to make, get a part-time evening and weekend job at least until you get your finances straight, work on saving about 3-6 months' worth of expenses, find, accept, and utilize government help, find food pantries (call churches and ask them about food pantries as well as ask Department of Social Services), call your utility companies, cable company, etc. and ask how you could lower your bills, research your local daycares and make sure you offer just a bit more/better services to make up for not having a fenced yard, and control your spending.

[permanentvacation]

Instead of working out of the home evenings and weekends, you could offer child care for odd hours as well as regular day time hours. And you can offer daycare overnight. If being licensed is required to do child care in your area, you will need to look into being licensed for evenings, weekends, and overnight as well as regular weekdays.

I did daycare 24/7 for about a year or so after I kicked my ex out.

[CityGarden]

I know successful single moms who run daycare programs. One of them was a big inspiration to me.

[Thriftylady]

You don't have to be married, but I couldn't do it financially without my husbands income. Part of that I believe is where I live though. There are several providers here and some on a providers Facebook group I am in that are not married. It will be more risky to do it without a husband, but don't let being single stop you from anything!

[Blackcat31]

Im sure your instructor was well meaning and Im sure its a common thought as its been long said that anyone that goes into the teaching profession should be aware its not going to make you monetarily rich but honestly what your instructor said was a bit offensive.

I know MANY successful child are providers that do very well without a spouses income. In fact I know several that are the breadwinners dor their family (spouse included).

It is important to understand and plan for the fact that this profession is continually revolving and evolving. Therefore your income will do the same.

[Mike]

Originally Posted by permanentvacation

I know many people don't agree with getting help from the government, help from anyone for that matter, or free hand-outs, but my personal belief is that as long as you are truly doing your best to help yourself by working and controlling your spending, then to need help is acceptable. I feel that it is not acceptable for people to not even try to work and instead just sit around planning and expecting to live off of the government.

I totally agree with both ends of this. Everyone needs a little help at one time or another. Nothing wrong with getting it when you need it. At some point, we all get a chance to help others.

I know 2 people who are at the other end of it. Gov't assistance for years, do nothing themselves, expect others to do everything for them, and even get mad when anyone stops helping. Those 2 would never help others.

[Thriftylady]

Originally Posted by Mike

I totally agree with both ends of this. Everyone needs a little help at one time or another. Nothing wrong with getting it when you need it. At some point, we all get a chance to help others.

I know 2 people who are at the other end of it. Gov't assistance for years, do nothing themselves, expect others to do everything for them, and even get mad when anyone stops helping. Those 2 would never help others.

I also agree with this line of thinking. Most of us try hard, work when we can, pay our taxes when we owe them. When we need a little help, the help is there. I do have an issue with people who sit on assistance for years and years and do nothing. I have neighbors like this. Help with rent, help with utilities, food stamps, medicaid, for years and years now with no effort made to work. That really irks me.

[Leigh]

Well, if my husband walked away today, I wouldn't be able to continue. We need his income. HOWEVER, if not for him (and his inability to deal with delayed gratification), I wouldn't have the bills that I have now, nor would I have such an expensive home or vehicle. Had I started in this business alone, I think I'd be just fine. It sure does help to have a second income during the lean times, but, IMO, you can do just fine on your own with smart planning. There's another thing, too-I know that half of the providers in my town would go under if they were alone-solely because they're charging $75 a week for care. They don't think they deserve to make enough to support themselves, I guess. I would be providing care for free at that rate (after my expenses). I don't see any benefit to working for nothing.

[wonderfullisa]

I would say that more important than a supportive spouse for income is a realistic, livable budget.

Having a plan for all of your money can be life-changing. For me, it was a program called YNAB (youneedabudget .com).
I cannot praise it highly enough.

Thanks to ynab, when (before daycare) our small, family-run business went under, and we were left with a LOT of debt, I was able to keep up and see what our priorities were. Four years later, and we are now doing great. We have a general emergency fund, enough saved up to replace our van when it dies, and set aside a 4 digit number for our next adventure. And this is all while still qualifying for WIC!

[lovemydaycare0912]

No you do not need to be married. I am married BUT we run this daycare together as our ONLY income and we have done it just fine. We are at full capacity with 6 kids so that helps, but we even did it with just 2 kids when we first started.

[DaveA]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Im sure your instructor was well meaning and Im sure its a common thought as its been long said that anyone that goes into the teaching profession should be aware its not going to make you monetarily rich but honestly what your instructor said was a bit offensive.

Agreed. DW make more than I do, but if push came to shove I could make childcare a go as the only income. For us it would require some lifestyle changes, but it is more than feasible for either a single person or a family.

Originally Posted by Mike

You definitely don't have to be married. Just do a thorough financial inspection to see if you can afford it. Make sure to include all possible expenses. Some go into it thinking it's big money because you have 5 children at $800/m each, you make $4000/m. They start up, don't get 5 full timers right away, find out there are costs they didn't plan, and they shut down.

Figure out all costs at 3/4 capacity and if the net income is suitable for you, go ahead.

I would give this advise regardless of marital status. Treat this like a business from the start.

Good luck.

[Cat Herder]

I was single when I opened. I owned a 2 bedroom, one bath. I had no problem getting clients. True, making it cute with a lot of curb appeal made a huge difference in what people were willing to pay but a little landscaping, paint and brow sweat goes a long way.

I am married, now, and my husbands income still does not supplement my income. We do not share finances, we split the bills evenly.

The only real hurdles, for me, back then was qualifying for a mortgage alone and affording health insurance while self employed. It can be done, just with much effort. FTR, I kept 2 jobs for years.

Thank you for the replies, everyone. I appreciate your feedback. This forum is a great resource. I'm glad I found it :-)

[laundrymom]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

My child development instructor opened the course by saying, "Those of us who are successful in this field have professional husbands who can supplement our incomes." )

I have not read responses, I'm a little too shocked at the instructor. I mean, who encourages someone by saying they are a "sidekick"?
Here's the deal.
Be a superhero. Not the sidekick.
Find your niche.
Cater to infants if you can and enjoy them.
They take up less space.

And never accept the idea that you need someone to take care of you.
What an antiquated way of thinking.
I'm just...
Ugh. Grrrrrr
"I" support my family. Alone. Since my husbands employer shuttered the factory with no notice last year.
You got this. Be the superhero. The only real question is which outfit to wear.