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dEHmom 08:19 AM 02-01-2011
I am very curious what you would do...

Ok so I had a lady bring her 1 1/2 yr old for an interview this morning. We have been chatting over the computer for a long time.

She had to move her van because she parked all weird and I told her to move it, and so she ran back out to move her van, and I said she could leave her little girl with me.

I took the little girls jacket and boots off while mom was outside.


Ok, whatever, girls cute, kids are always gross, maybe mom was in a rush and forgot socks?

Mom comes in, takes her boots off, and starts asking questions right away. I thought UGH one of these moms, but they were very good questions, and everything went really well. Let me say this though, MOM HAD NO SOCKS EITHER! It's -40 degrees C right now! Why aren't they wearing socks?

She is just looking for casual hours, whenever. she's flexible because she's expecting her 4th child (I couldn't tell she was pregnant until she stated this), and just wants to be able to get stuff done while other kids are in school. Her other son who I did not meet will come occassionally, and he is my sons age. So the ages work great!

She mentioned to me, she's a stickler when it comes to illness because her oldest has auto immune! I told her I try to be the best that I can. But unfortunately, I cannot stop every cold/flu/whatever bug that gets in, because many times it can be contagious before there are symptoms. She understood and such.

I don't know if this is a red flag or not. It wouldn't be fair to turn her away because her oldest who isn't attending my care at all has this disease. I understand it means a trip to the hospital everytime her daughter gets ill, but I don't know what to do.

I don't want to be stuck in a sitaution where I'm blamed for something.

This little girl will only be here maybe once or twice a week.

But I have to say I was nervous, I hate doing interviews, and I feel like most people would rather go somewhere else because my house is so small, etc.
It felt really good when she asked me for the contract papers so she could sign them, asked if thursday was ok for a couple hours just to try it out and see how it goes, ETC. It also felt really good that she told me NONE of her other interviews went well enough for her to consider them! And one of them made her so nervous she turned and walked out right away because that woman was expecting too and she said she is "extremely depressed about having another kid". lol.

I'm also wondering, what about deposits on drop in/casuals? I normally got deposits for them, but if she agrees to paying a week in advance everytime AFTER this thursday, which she will pay for on thursday at dropoff, should I even bother with the deposit?

I told her it's fine as long as she pays at dropoff, not pickup. And any additional charges (if she goes over time) will be paid at pickup.

I think I really liked her, but the auto immune is making me nervous. Kids are always sick.
DBug 08:30 AM 02-01-2011
I'm still stuck on the lack of socks ... I think that might be a bit of a red flag for me with the auto-immune thing. I know you shouldn't judge based on first impressions, but I would personally be worried that if dcMom can't remember to put socks on her kid in the winter when it's 40 below, that she might not be taking care of her oldest as well as she should be. And then there might be the possibility that she would blame a sickness on you, when there's a good chance that it's due to her lack of attention to detail.

IMO, I'd proceed with caution. Maybe the typical two weeks trial period, with an emphasis on the "trial" portion of it
lil angels 08:38 AM 02-01-2011
I have a little dcg that was born at 20 wks so she has lots of issues and can't get sick either or it is pretty bad. I let her know before she came same as you did I just let her know anytime somebody has anything and I leave it up to her what to. She has been with me for 3 yrs now and I have really enjoyed her. It is so hard to know until you have a family for awhile to know what there attitude is going to be about something.

I wouldn't do the deposit prob if they are going to start next week and if they seem like trusting people.

The no socks thing is strange but if mom didn't have any either maybe there is a religion thing there or something. So you require kids to wear socks at your house? Some providers do if not I would let it be. I had one family show up in the summer and they had two boys that looked like they had been at the playground all afternoon and were brought here bare foot and all covered in dust. That made me nervous and they just said ok I will be here Monday at 8am and gt them at 3. I didn't even have a chance to offer or back out of it. They made me very uneasy and they were some of the most well behaved kids I have ever had.

You can't always judge a book by its cover. If you don't need them don't deal with it otherwise I would give it a shot.
cillybean83 08:43 AM 02-01-2011
I don't wear socks ever unless there is snow on the ground...because if the ground is dry, I'm wearin flip flops! Even in January

I'm socially if someone could explain this auto immune thing to me I would appreciate it! the only auto immune disease I know of is AIDS (auto immune dificiency syndrome?!) and if that were the case, yeah, i would be nervous...i know that makes me sound ignorant but it would scare me :\

good luck in making your decision! I don't charge deposits so i can't help there!
lvt77 08:43 AM 02-01-2011
The whole situations sound interesting. I guess I would tell the mom how you are really feeling. You are a very compassionate person and I think if you talked to mom, she will see that. This also might make you feel better too. You also have to look at it this way, what is the mom going to do when the kid goes to school? Or the kid has to go to some daycare, so it is going to be an issue for the mom, not you.

I do drop in with a retainer:
I ask the parents to estimate how many days they think they will be attending each week. I then set a required amount to put in the retainer, let’s say like $150.00. Each time they come, I subtract from the retainer. I use excel spreadsheet so it is really easy. When it gets low, I ask them to replenish the retainer before the child can return. I provide weekly statements so that they can see how much they used. You will also need to have them use a sign in sign out log……..This way, I have money in case they decide to no show, or term without notice.
dEHmom 08:43 AM 02-01-2011
It's not like it's great money I'd be losing! lol. I'll maybe be getting 30 a week maybe more? But that's not bad at all either.

I think if she comes on thursday with no socks, I will let mom know she needs to have slippers on if no socks. Just because I normally wear slippers, kids wear socks/slippers too because floors get cold in winter.

And I agree about the details! Little girl snotty crusted nose (it's really cold out today) but the no socks. My hubby is the worst for knowing how to get kids ready for outside, and he flips out if kids aren't wearing socks, even in sandals.

I think I will give it a try. If it goes well on thursday ok. The kid was a little insane here, squealing and slamming my cupboard doors. I took that opportunity to bring up the policy about "sign in sign out sheet, when parent opens door, they are now in charge of their child, and until they close the door at drop off, they are in charge of their child". She got the hint and removed her daughter from my cupboards! lol.
littlemissmuffet 09:19 AM 02-01-2011
It's -40 C here too and I'm not wearing any socks. And I am still wearing sandals to run out the garbage or go on a quick store run. My DCKs hate socks too and take them off when they get in the door. The kids in my family don't wear socks either, they will throw fits if we try to put them on (well with the exception of my nephew who flips UNLESS he's got socks on). What can you do? I don't think it's a big deal, or something to make judgements about but that's just me.

Dirty-faced and snot-nosed... owell. The mom's got three kids, one of which is auto immune! And she's pregnant on top of it... I'd give her a break

If she understands that you can't always keep the bugs away, and that oftentimes we're already contagious before showing symptoms and there is illness in your house from time to time, go for it. Just let her know when you or any of your DCKs are showing signs of illness so she can keep hers away.
DBug 09:47 AM 02-01-2011
The socks are still bugging me . My kids all take their socks off while playing, that's no big deal. Even if the floors are cold, really, if it doesn't bother the kid, then it doesn't bother me. What DOES bother me though, is for when you take the kids outside. Even if you don't go out when it's 40 below, you'll likely go out when it's 10 or 20 below, and if this LO doesn't have socks on inside her boots, her little feet will get really, really cold! I would make sure to require that she bring socks each day (even if they're in her bag and not on her feet). I could totally see getting in trouble with licensing or another parent for taking a child out in the winter with no socks.

Idk, just my soapbox, I guess .
dEHmom 09:57 AM 02-01-2011
I know little kids dont' usually keep their socks on. I am constantly on a search for socks. And I have trouble keeping matches for my own kids socks. So I make them wear slippers most of the time.

It just bothered me that she didn't have them on outside. Her boots weren't all that great (they were a leathery slipper/booty style). I'm sure they were warm but I still think socks should've been on her. I understand though that this may have been a slip up, or soem sort of fight with the girl, but when the mom wasn't wearing any either, sheesh. lol.

Me personally I wear socks AND slippers! lol. I'm always cold.
kendallina 10:06 AM 02-01-2011
I put boots on my daughter with no socks the other was about 30 degrees out. It was pure laziness and not wanting to walk upstairs to get the socks. I was also not wearing socks and wearing slip-on ballet-style shoes. And there was snow on the ground. Sometimes parents do silly things, I wouldn't worry about it. I hope they work out for you!
dEHmom 11:22 AM 02-01-2011
Plenty of times my own 2yo takes his socks off as we are running out the door. Sometimes I choose to turn a blind eye but when hubby sees it, uh oh....look out. lol.

Not a biggy, I agree though for playing outside it's a big deal. I don't have enough socks half the time for my own kids let alone daycare kids. So I'm not supplying them. I have a gigantic bag of mismatched socks waiting to find their partner.

I just finished with my second interview today. Little boy. He's 7 months old now. Hes the one I had mentioned in a post a few weeks ago, that mom is looking to start in July full time. I had told them holding fee will guarantee spot, no holding fee she can contact in may or june and see if I have any openings. She thinks she is going to go for the holding fee. She has to discuss with hubby when he gets home from business trip on friday. I told her I'll charge her half of what my usual holding fee is due to the length of the holding (i am having trouble filling a full time spot, and have been sittin empty for a very very very very long time). So for 150/mth I said I'd hold the spot, and if she wanted to use the time by bringing him here that's fine as well. Maybe she will go back to work early

I think the interview went really well. I hope the husband agrees
Unregistered 11:26 AM 02-01-2011
My feet would totally be freezing!!! I wear socks all year round because I always have cold feet.

As far as her daughter's autoimmune illness is concerned, did she say which one it is? There are so many of them and if you take on this family, you'll need to know what her diagnosis is and what, if any, special needs that she has. The mom can't expect for a daycare to never expose her daughter to illnesses. It's just not possible when there are other children (and adults) around. I have an autoimmune illness and believe me, I can respect that the mom doesn't want her daughter to get sick so I can definitely understand her stance, but it's just not possible to avoid being exposed to different illnesses. I have a really strict illness policy and I enforce it, but even so, the occasional cold makes its presence know.

Before you choose, ask the mom to give you more information. That might help you to make your decision about whether or not to keep her.

Also, just an FYI for anyone who might think that an autoimmune illness is the same as an immunodeficiency disease. They are not the same. An autoimmune disease happens when your immune system attacks itself because it doesn't recognize what it's attacking. An immunodeficiency disease is a disease that results from the immune system that has deficienies.
dEHmom 11:58 AM 02-01-2011
Just to clarify, the girl who will be attending my daycare is NOT the one with the autoimmune disease.

I didn't think to question the disease because I didn't realize there were so many. But at the same time I figured, we had discussed everything possible allergies, naptimes, discipline and more. So I would assume if it was a HUGE issue, then she would not have wanted her little girl to come here. And I had mentioned several times how my daughter was home today because she wasn't feeling well this morning. And she still came for the interview, still decided she wanted to give it a try on thursday. So it can't be that big of a deal?!?!
dEHmom 07:17 AM 02-03-2011
Well, the girl started this morning. Was on time, didn't cry when mom left, mom was really worried about that.
She's dancing and has the cutest pebbles ponytail on the top of her head! So far the only thing she says is woof, and momma.

This is just a trial day (I was a little worried she was hyper when she was here for the interview. And mom didn't want to pay in advance and find out it wasn't going to work. So she is paying today for today, and then today will decide if she is coming next week or not.
She is just a casual, so just roughly 30/week. I brought up the retainer and mom is thinking about it.

OH and girl had socks today. Clean face, but has a really dry face around the mouth looks a little raw, either gets wiped alot, or she licks. She also sucks on her hand which could be causing it. I keep reminding her to take her hand out.

Edited for update...

Dogs barked and she screamed and started shaking. She is terrified of the dogs. So I calmed her down a few seconds, and brought her to meet the dogs officially. She shook and cried. And when the dog sniffed her foot, she screamed even louder.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make her ok with them? I don't want to force her or make her afraid of them. Mom said she might be uncomfortable with the dogs, but she wanted to see. Normally my dogs are outside but when it's cold they will be separated in the kitchen.
dEHmom 08:11 AM 02-03-2011
Sorry another question!
This little girl doesn't talk much. Is it normal? She says mom, num, woof and that's it.

She makes lots of strange noises too. It sounds like the "red rum red rum" and it's freaking me out! it's "aaaaaaah" "uhhhhhhhhhh" but with the red rum voice.

I got her to say "ish" for fish but she did it in the voice too. she moves her jaw really strange and sometimes sticks her tongue out the side of her mouth.

It is probably completely normal, but I just wasn't sure. She will be 2 in July.

I took her to the bathroom to wash her hands, because she sneezed on them, and keeps putting them in her mouth. SHE FREAKED OUT! "AAAAAAAAAAA BAT AAAAAAA BAT" I'm assuming no bath no bath.
Tags:autoimmune disease, deposit policy, hygiene, payment policy, socks, special needs
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