I used to run an in home daycare. I took a max of 6 kids at a time and lived in Indiana. Therefore I was never licensed. I was not required to be.

I have changed to working as a graphic designer for a company instead. I have my kids in a state licensed facility. It is pretty large and is run out of a church.

I had my daughter tested for allergies because she has been having reactions and several symptoms. We are attempting to locate the triggers but since she is (almost 4) there is only so much testing that they can do. I am more than willing to provide them with written restrictions on food, and medications however they are requiring EVERYTHING to come from my doctor and they are being very rigid about this. It's been an incredibly frustrating ordeal.

The allergy doctor has not witnessed a lot of her symptoms (and again, cannot test her for everything). It is a month long wait to get in to see this doctor...and is typically the case with any of these types of doctors in this area.

This daycare has not given me an outline of what verbiage they need in these notes but they are requesting them piece by piece at this point and it's getting to be what I consider excessive ONLY because they are requiring me to go through this doctor to get them. This is taking a lot of time out of my work schedule. When I call this doctor they have a service answer and the nurses have to return the calls.

The doctor's office is also starting to push back on me because this daycare is making so many requests for notes for details and clarifications and it's out of the norm for them to have to provide them to the degree they are asking for me. I feel like the daycare is going a little overboard.

I cannot locate any law that states that all notes have to come from a physician and not a parent. The doctor cannot test her for everything in life and he cannot witness all of her reactions nor can I get her into that doctors office for him to witness them. The majority of these notes are not specific enough because the doctor is just a middle man relaying information that I am telling him and they just want to be done with me. I seriously want to just pull my hair out.

What I want to know is, in the state of Indiana are there specific laws that state that notes such as this are REQUIRED to come from a physician? I have searched all over the internet and I think the daycare is just going a bit overboard.

I was a daycare provider so I understand covering your buns but I am also her mom. What on earth would I gain by restricting her from several fruits and juices? THEY have even witnessed her reactions and they are giving me the biggest run around about this. This is just beyond any type of common sense I can muster to figure out.

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And mind you I DON'T have a problem with putting notes in writing. I understand that. I just don't understand why I'm continually having to go to the doctor to get them.

I have literally been requested 5 different notes for this. They have given no outlines as far as the information they need but each time I bring them the note they request they tell me it's not clear enough, or they need other information included, ect.

This would be so much easier if they would just let me write the stinking notes and tell me what they need instead of having to keep go and getting new ones. It's just bananas.

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They don't need a specific law. They make their own rules regarding allergies. They need to cover their own behinds. They want so much documentation because parents lie. All the time. They don't want their child to have to eat veggies, so he's allergic to veggies.

I am guessing your doctor is being vague intentionally because he's trying to please you and still not lie to the daycare. If your daughter's allergies are not diagnosed, they don't exist to the doctor. Even if you have witnessed the reaction, he can't confirm unless he has a test proving it to be true. It simply isn't ethical.

Has an allergist actually performed skin or blood testing?

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At almost 4 there is no allergy testing an immunologist can't do. Testing for a fruit allergy is a one appointment, easy peasy scratch test.

A clearly written, yes, she's been tested and is allergic to banana's is undoubtedly what they're looking for. Rightfully so as any allergy can be incredibly dangerous and leave them open to liability.


On the flip side of that is Leigh's point. Parents sometimes want to play doctor themselves and suddenly what they merely expect is an issue, they blow up and declare a bona fide allergy. If a provider made concessions for every time that happened they wouldn't be able to serve any foods to the children in their care. You'd be shocked at how common it is.

If you don't like the requirements of the center it's always your right to remove her and get a nanny. That way you can have more control over her diet with or without the doctors notes while she's out of your care.

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A private, church run, program is not bound by childcare licensing rules in any state. Legally exempt.

Even without that, this issue will follow you throughout school as well. All will want a medical note for a true allergy. There are legal and insurance reasons.

Liability insurance. Preparedness supplies. Being forced to provide alternatives specific to each child. These things cost them money, too.

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This is not true in Kansas.....

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I am legally unlicensed and I require it in writing as well, in detail. I also require it to state what foods the child can and can't have. So if the child can't have bread but can have rice bread I require that in writing. It is to keep your child safe. There is a saying in the medical industry that I go by in daycare. That saying is "if it isn't in writing it never happened". Just you telling me your child is allergic isn't enough, because many parents lie about these things. And once you provide documentation, I require you to provide the "special" foods for your child, but ONLY allow that after the doctor says it is needed.

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Church child care programs have to be licensed here unless they only operate while religious services are being conducted, if it's a summer program that operates for two weeks or less, or if they care for three or fewer children.

Most centers that I've worked at require a doctor's note for allergies. A couple had their own forms for the doctor to use, so they could be sure to get all the information they needed. Most need to know what the allergen(s) are, what happens if the child is exposed, and what we should do in case of accidental exposure. It's a liability issue not to have that information.

I've been at centers where children have been accidentally fed things they're allergic. Obviously it shouldn't happen and I've never done it myself, but it does happen.

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She had several vials of blood drawn at a local hospital to test her blood. She did have the tests and I have a 7 page report reflecting that her results but both her pediatrician and her doctor told me not to give the whole report to the daycare because they are being so extreme about this whole ordeal. She's showing high levels for her Immunoglobulin E IgE her results came back as 675.0 out of .4 - 351.6. What this part of the test means is that she is in general going to naturally be allergic to various things in life but there is no way to test her for every single thing in life.

I have to weed out things as I see them but I cannot do that without the cooperation of other care providers and I cannot run to the doctor every time I need to temporarily remove something to see what is causing the reaction and that being said it's a month long wait to get in to see this doctor to begin with.

On this test, she has tested high for things she has shown zero reaction to and she eats daily. The doctor instructed me that if I do not witness any reactions to things that she eats even if she shows a high levels to not remove it from her diet.... hence why I am not supposed to give them the whole packet of testing results.

If I made the huge mistake of giving them all the results (against my doctors instruction) they are being so rigid that they would not allow her to eat or drink anything ever. The doctor instructed me this before he even went over the test with me.

Can they test for specific things.... they can but they cannot test for every single solitary thing in life while she is this young.... actually I am an adult and have had a lot of allergy scratch testing myself due to chronic severe sinus problems. I know it would be impossible to test for everything in life but they can run much larger tests at older ages. At this stage, you locate the possible triggers and test for those. I cannot locate triggers if the daycare is not cooperative.

This facility is the only one that busses to my other child's school.

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Maybe you could ask them if she can bring her own lunch? I am sorry it is causing so much distress, but allergies are a very scary thing for providers nowadays and I understand why they are being so specific. If a parent told me their kid has allergic reactions to certain foods, but we are not sure which ones, I would honestly probably terminate the arrangement. I know that sounds bad, but I cannot have the liability of serving that child food and not knowing if they will start to react. I don't think it is fair that your doctor is pitting you against the daycare in way that includes withholding information. I think that is a very scary thing to do and if your doctor was the one who was liable, he may be just as strict as the daycare when it comes to what your child eats in their care. He doesn't have that liability, so it is easy for him to say they are being too strict. This is just my opinion, but unless you can meet the standards the daycare is asking for, I would search for other care. They are not going to change their minds, especially at this point, so I think your choice is probably to comply or move on. Just be ware that whatever dayacre you attend, the minute you mention allergies, they are gonna probably need similar documentation. Good luck to you and your daughter! I hope it works out!

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I would have the skin testing done, as well, you can test for many more things that way.

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On top of it they have witnessed these reactions several times and called me as a result of them. They know she has them. They know I'm not lying and they have notes from the doctor stating which items to remove from her diet.

My problem is they want all of these details in the notes but they are not specifiying what they need up front they making requests piece by piece.

First they wanted the allergies regarding the fruits in writing: understandable

Then they wanted a note for dosing medication: understandable

Then when I found out they continued giving her juices containing the same fruits that she was allergic to they needed a separate note to remove the juices.

Then it wasn't specific enough on which juices.

After I got that for them, then despite the fact that there was never a restriction on water or milk requested, they decided that they needed a separate doctors note on what they were allowed to supplement other than juice.

The doctor that we see has an answering service. A person answers, always says that the nurse is on the other line and they always have to call back. This means I have to jump through hoops each time I have to get one of these notes because if I miss the call back while I'm at work (which happens frequently because I am on the phones at work a lot) I have to wait for another call return again.

I was a daycare provider. I get it. Totally understand what parents can pull but at the same time there comes a point where you are disregarding all common sense and you choose to be a pain just to be a pain.

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The reactions that she has are itchiness, rash, itchy eyes, scalp, nose, mouth, acidic urination and tummy irritability. She's not going into anaphylactic shock.

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My dd had a skin test done at age 2 , they covered her whole back . A month later we went back and they did a second round of other things that again covered her back . So it can be done at a younger age than your child .
I was given a list of things and the reaction grade assigned to each allergen .

The daycare needs to be sure your child is safe and that means a detailed health record . I am sure they have many children in care and it is much harder to keep every child away from what they maybe / are allergic to . And then there are somethings that they realistically can not keep your child away from ( grass, trees) .

Not sure in your state but we must keep very detailed records for every child in care , the state goes over each record and checks every immunization schedule for each child . Every medication must be documented with instructions from a doctor on their personalized stationary.

Unfortunately we as providers have to be careful because many of us have had parents lie to us about a medical condition of their child ( I am not implying you are ) , then when the child is ill it is our fault even thought the parents were not honest .


Many of the above things you mentioned are thing that I am required by my regulations to do as well . We also need to follow the food guidelines and substituting one item for another may not be allowed without a dr's note .

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This. We have to have the information for several reasons. The top one is to protect the well being of your child.

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They have also had her for over a year and have witnessed these reactions. She's never had breathing problems or anything to that affect at all. They do a meal plan but they don't send home anything communicating what they feed.

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Having ANY reaction can be dangerous and may very well be why they are demanding all this. The reaction can be a rash or whatever one time, and be deadly the next, just that fast. Saying she's never had breathing problems or anything doesn't mean she won't have it next time. My Ex husband had had penicillin all his life. One day that gave it to him and he had a reaction just that fast. He can never have it again, the second reaction could kill him. Things change just that fast. We can not have children in care that have ANY reaction and not have the medical information of what exactly can cause it AND a treatment plan if the worst does happen.

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OP ~ Let me ask you what is it [/b]exactly[b] that you want the child care provider/program to do?

Accept your word for it?
Accept a vague Dr's note?
Make exceptions to their illness/exclusionary policies?
Change their menu's for your child?


Maybe if you lay out exactly what it is you want, posters here will have some ideas or compromises you can use.

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That is the type of testing they did on me as an adult. I inquired on them doing that for my daughter and the provider we see does not do that on children this young for whatever reason. I don't know why.

Again my problem isn't them needing this information. I'm fine with that. My problem is that they keep requesting all of it separately and it's driving me up the wall every time I have to spend all this time gathering it and the doctors office is even questioning why I'm making so many separate requests. They are pushing back on me as well.

If they would have given me an outline of all these things that they "require" you would think they would have known all of it up front enough to request that up front.... but the fact that they wait for me to bring one thing and then turn around and request yet another piece of information leads me to wonder.... each time I bring them something.... then it's something else they never previously mentioned. It is BEYOND irritating that I'm wasting so much time on something that could have been done in one phone call if they really required that information.

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I would go to your director and have a sit down. Tell her you spoke with the doc and he would like a list of everything they need in order to care for your daughter. Tell her you would like to know specifically what is needed and you will gather it all at once and then go from there. Let her know you are trying very hard to make sure they get the info they need, but it has been very difficult getting in contact witht he doctor and so it is best if you can gather it all at once, rather than having to continually go back. Then see what she says. If she cannot work with you, then there are few option for you in terms of remaining at that daycare.

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The doctors note isn't really vague. It stated exactly what they requested. Look at the list I posted of their requests. They told me to have them list the restrictions. Common sense tells you that if you are allergic to apples you are probably allergic to apple juice. This is not rocket science.

So that wasn't specific enough. They requested me to get them yet another note for the juices.... I did that. Requested nothing else in addition...

THEN they turned around and asked me to get a note what to supplement.

I am not being ridiculous about the amount of time of mine they are wasting. That is my frustration.

If THEY know ahead what they are going to need and if THEYknow how specific that it needs to be then they need to give me something or tell me so that I'm not running around this circus having to figure it out and waste what could have been done in 1 call, on 5-6 calls.

I understand their needs.... They are not understanding mine.

They are disrespecting my time for things that they already knew they would need. AGAIN, I don't have a problem getting it. I have a problem with the fact that they could have communicated all of these things to begin with.

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So you want them to assume that if your child is allergic to apples, she can't have apple juice. Correct?
Well, I'm allergic to FLAKE COCONUT. But not coconut oil.
So I completely understand what they are trying to prevent. For me, at 43 years old, I can have coconut oil, but let me bite a snoball or mounds bar and it's a trip to the ER and a week off work.

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Maybe it's best if you could just nicely talk with them about your frustrations.
Other than that part, I guess I'm confused on what you need.
Since you've been a provider before, you should be aware that they have their own policies regarding allergies, illness, and exclusions.
It sounds like there are a lot of food items you are requiring them to exclude. I may be totally off base there, but from what you described, that would be a deal breaker for me as well. Not only would I worry about liability, but what about being on a food program- it sounds like your child would be on a completely different diet than the rest of the children while you determine what exactly she is allergic to.
That's a lot of extra paperwork and prep time.
You should always do what's best for your child and if you feel they won't make the proper choices for her, than it's definitely time to find alternate care (bus line convenience or not).
I truly don't mean to sound harsh there- that's just my outside point of view.

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Personally, I would have the child care create a form themselves listing the info they require and written in whatever format they choose and/or is acceptable so that all you have to do is fill it out.

That's what the food program has. They have a form that asks all the questions.
Parents and Doctor's only have to answer questions.

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As a provider for 20 plus years, times have changed and I do require a doctor note for everything.....reason being I have had parents come in and say their child can't eat out of plastic plates and must eat out of glass plates I have had parents want to give their infants goats milk; I have been told their child can't/won't eat what is on my menu so I much fix something their kid "likes"...on and on and on.....It is my protection to enforce the dr. note issue....any parent can say anything and get by with it....If mcdonalds can get sued for hot coffee, I am sure there are loopholes for everything and that scares me. A doctor's note solidifies a parents' wishes.

By the way, miraculously, when I required a dr note, the child could eat out of plastic with no issues .....lol

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Families choose group care for the lower financial costs when compared to one parent staying home or hiring a private nanny.

There is a point where a family's needs outweigh what a group care provider can offer and still care for the group.

It is possible your provider has reached that point with your family and simply does not know how to handle it without further disruption or conflict.

Is that an aspect you have considered to this?

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Well worded! I thought this in the earlier posts but didn't know how to word it. You hit the nail on the head!

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Ok that's fair but if we are really talking about the child's wellbeing being the primary thing there.... a piece of paper appears to be the priority over something that is clearly seen as such a life and death issue here. If they weren't clear enough about what it needed to reference that is not something I can help. That's not the way I ran my daycare.

Yes, I was a daycare provider. I was not state licensed but I did use common sense. I did request notes and I had guidelines that I handed out when I needed specific things because if they are anything like me they will f

If a parent gave me a letter stating that their child was allergic to coconut I would not give them coconut milk oil or anything coconut related because I care more about the life of a child over what a piece of paper says. You may be willing to make that gamble but I am not. It honestly scares me that anyone would be willing to make that risk because of miscommunication to a parent on the daycare part for what an agency the parent has no involvement in requires from them.

I personally would not risk the child's life (if that was really the biggest concern) just because a piece of paper did not specify every food made with coconut. I would restrict it. So your answer is yes. I would 10,000% much rather that they assume.

It's disappointing that the health of the child appears to be secondary to the paperwork to be honest.

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-they will forget everything I specifically need when they walk out the door.

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Its not the health of the child that is the primary concern.
It's the liability for the provider.

• Provider liability
• Child's health concerns/needs
• Parental concerns/needs

That is the order of importance for me.

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As a former childcare provider you should know the well being of the overall group, the happiness of the majority of clients and the stress level of the employees are the owners ultimate priority.

There will be 4-10 other families with fewer needs waiting for your slot. You know that as a former provider.

As a former provider you should know that they are asking for the same level of extra work from you that you are asking of them in the hopes you will see it is too much.

What is your backup child care plan?

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Thank you,

I'm writing them a note voicing what they requested and that I am willing to comply with their requests but suggested that they create a form and I am explaining why this has all been frustrating.

I'm not trying to be irrational.

I just think there is a huge disconnect that is not being seen here.

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Here is a printable form. Available free online in many places. I can save them that effort. the pdf is attached as well.

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You say you keep taking away foods, to find out and you also say you want them to quit asking for different things all the time. If you are constantly changing what kiddo is "allergic" to and adding or removing things, they have to then ask for more documentation for that. This isn't about keeping one parent happy as others have stated. We have to keep the state happy, the food program people happy, other parents happy and child safe. Like others have said, you may just need to get a nanny who can come to your home and feed what you have prepared ahead of time for the child.

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being blatantly honest here.
If, after a year of care, I was still asking for documentation of food allergies, I'd be replacing your family with one who fit my program better. I would not be discriminating. I would simply be unwilling to keep asking for clarification. After repeated requests for an allergen list, family would be terminated for non compliance.
No matter your explanation or reasoning, you (or the doctor you choose to see) has failed to give a complete list of allergens and because of such care would be terminated immediately.
And that's got nothing to do with how loving or caring I am as a provider. It doesn't matter if I like a parent, a child, or the cute little outfits a child wears. A liability is a liability. And refusing to get a concrete list of allergens is one I'm unwilling to deal with.

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I would take it a step further. When a parent says ALLERGY to me, I need a drs note. No matter what. I will NOT provide care without one. Mom couldn't come in and say "don't give X strawberries today, we suspect an allergy." Mom would not be keeping X there if strawberries were on the menu.

It's a matter of liability.

I think you should have been upfront with the daycare and provided the original list from the allergist as well as a signed/dated form stating EACH allergy and it's noted reaction.

At this point, I think a letter to them might get you a termination notice. I would offer to provide all meals and snacks until this is sorted out.

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Okay, I went back and read the entire thread. It sounds like the OP has repeatedly taken her daughter to an allergist and obtained doctors notes to satisfy a childcare requirement verifying an allergy.

As a parent of a child with food allergies and as a business owner, I can see both sides of this.

The business owner (in this case the center) needs to specify, exactly what information they need. They should be providing this parent with a specific form. In one post she states that they even demanded a note saying the doctor needs to determine what can be substituted for Apple juice. Seriously??? Even the food program only asks the doctor to sign off on milk substitutes. To answer the OP's question though, they are an independent business and can ask for any allergy verification they want. As a parent, I would put the kabosh on it at this point and find another center if they can't be reasoned with.

My daughter had food allergies early in life and the allergist told us that the earlier a child has allergy testing, the less reliable it is. He also said that children can outgrow food allergies they develop during their early childhood years. This was the case with my little girl. She had a severe allergy to milk and soy and now has no allergies.

During those early years we were constantly having to get doctors notes, and it was no easier back then. Specialists are notoriously difficult to get in touch with and get signatures from. I agree with the OP; tell parents what you want so they can get the signature the first time around.

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Just a random thought here but maybe the child care is purposely making it difficult hoping the family terminates care so that they (the child care) won't have to.

Not saying that is the case, but maybe the child has behavior issues or the child care wants to take a different family or not deal with the allergies at all or the parent or who knows.... but it does sound like if the parent has repeatedly done what the child care is asking only to be faced with additional requests, then I'd start wondering what else might truly be going on....

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That crossed my mind as well. That seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to avoid a difficult conversation but you never know . . .

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They are over it. They want you to take your child elsewhere.

You can force them to keep her and they can force you to comply to their paperwork.

Time to move on.

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