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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Sanity Saving Tips??
Ac114 11:18 AM 02-22-2018
I’m new this the whole in home child care gig and I need some sanity saving tips before I reach burnout really soon. I think I have over extended myself as far as hours, what behavior I accept from parents, and having 6 children under the age of 4 (2 are mine) I’m learning a lot from this site, which has helped me get passed my off days but I need some encouragement or wondering if others have felt like maybe this isn’t for me.
storybookending 11:22 AM 02-22-2018
What are your current hours? What times do you have the 4 children that are not your within those hours and the ages of all children in your care? In what ways do you feel like parents are getting away with more than they should?
Ac114 11:53 AM 02-22-2018
Originally Posted by storybookending:
What are your current hours? What times do you have the 4 children that are not your within those hours and the ages of all children in your care? In what ways do you feel like parents are getting away with more than they should?
6:30am-6pm. First child gets dropped of around 7:15-7:30 and here until minutes before 6:00pm. He’s 2 and shrieks/whines all day long. Barely uses words to ask for anything and anytime you say no or we’re changing an activity it’s the same loud ear peircing shriek that lasts for several minutes.What are your current hours? What times do you have the 4 children that are not your within those hours and the ages of all children in your care? In what ways do you feel like parents are getting away with more than they should?
Next child is part time, almost 3 but parents want to routinely change days that’s she is in care but don’t pay for the added day that they switched. They left their other provider because thier other provider put a stop this and started charging them. Her hours are 7:30-4:30 but they will text minutes before 4:30 that they are going to be late and she will be here until 5:30 or later.
Next 2 children are 10 months and 2 years. They get dropped off anywhere from 8:30-10:30. What was originally agreed was 7:30 and then after the 2nd day she started having her dad drop them off so they can sleep in. The 2 year old will not nap, ok fine, but is extremely disruptive to the group at naptime that ends up waking everyone up within 30 minutes. They were getting picked up around 5:00-5:15 but was just told yesterday they will be here until 5:45-6:00pm now.
The problem I guess is my husband goes to bed at 7 because he gets up at 245am and he is not able to take time off work unless it’s urgent. This leaves me to take care of appointments, after school activities, or any errands that need ran during the week. I’m exhausted by 6pm and still have so much that needs done. I have a 7, 4 and 6 month old.
storybookending 01:00 PM 02-22-2018
I think if I were you I would start by shortening my hours. Put out a notice that as of XX/XX/18 your hours are now 7:00-X:XX. Honestly you could say 7:30 and only effect the one family. You don’t need to have a reason. Give them a week or two to decide if this work for them and stick with it. Start with this and see if things get better. Possibly add in a drop off cut off time of the family that arrives within a 2 hour window needs it. Consistency is important for children.
What did you initially agree on with the PT child. If it was a set 3 days you need to stand firm on this and say no when the parents push it. Tell them you would be more than happy to switch days for the child if they were willing to pay the part time rate.
I would also try to get all of the children on the same schedule if you can. Although this might be hard with the 6 and 10 month old. Create a routine/schedule and stick to it. Do a lot of gross motors activities to tire out that 2 year old that doesn’t want to nap. Get outside in the morning if at all possible. Teach them that not napping is okay but not laying quiet for rest time is not an option. Play soft music of audio books, have the problem child in their own room for rest if you have the space. Use your firm voice when they try to get up and/or disturb others.
Remember to take some time for yourself. If your hubby doesn’t work weekends set a time possibly on Saturday morning where you leave the house for an hour or two without your children. Leave them with the hubby. Same time frame every Saturday or whatever day you pick. Use the time to run errands or just go to a park and sit for an hour or two. Bring some music and go on a walk or a book and just be alone for awhile to destress and recharge. Self care is so important especially when you work a job that had long hours and at times can feel kind of thankless.
What did you initially agree on with the PT child. If it was a set 3 days you need to stand firm on this and say no when the parents push it. Tell them you would be more than happy to switch days for the child if they were willing to pay the part time rate.
I would also try to get all of the children on the same schedule if you can. Although this might be hard with the 6 and 10 month old. Create a routine/schedule and stick to it. Do a lot of gross motors activities to tire out that 2 year old that doesn’t want to nap. Get outside in the morning if at all possible. Teach them that not napping is okay but not laying quiet for rest time is not an option. Play soft music of audio books, have the problem child in their own room for rest if you have the space. Use your firm voice when they try to get up and/or disturb others.
Remember to take some time for yourself. If your hubby doesn’t work weekends set a time possibly on Saturday morning where you leave the house for an hour or two without your children. Leave them with the hubby. Same time frame every Saturday or whatever day you pick. Use the time to run errands or just go to a park and sit for an hour or two. Bring some music and go on a walk or a book and just be alone for awhile to destress and recharge. Self care is so important especially when you work a job that had long hours and at times can feel kind of thankless.
Blackcat31 03:03 PM 02-22-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
The problem I guess is my husband goes to bed at 7 because he gets up at 245am and he is not able to take time off work unless it’s urgent. This leaves me to take care of appointments, after school activities, or any errands that need ran during the week. I’m exhausted by 6pm and still have so much that needs done. I have a 7, 4 and 6 month old.
If your DH gets up at 2:45 AM he must come home fairly early in the day then? The problem I guess is my husband goes to bed at 7 because he gets up at 245am and he is not able to take time off work unless it’s urgent. This leaves me to take care of appointments, after school activities, or any errands that need ran during the week. I’m exhausted by 6pm and still have so much that needs done. I have a 7, 4 and 6 month old.
If so, that would be an ideal time for him to pick up some of the chores, errands and household things that need to be done.
I see parents that work evening or night shifts use that excuse as a reason to not have to participate in duties of the family but ALL parents have the same 24 hours in a day... and there is no rule that says errands and appointments can't happen in the afternoon...LONG after your DH has gotten off work and MUCH earlier than he needs to be in bed.
Ac114 03:30 PM 02-22-2018
He usually works 12-14 hour days. He’s in the refuse industry. It’s calls for early hours and long days. Most days he’s getting home around 4:30-5. He definitely picks up the slack on the weekends, it’s the weekdays I’m struggling with.
mamamanda 04:04 PM 02-22-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
6:30am-6pm. First child gets dropped of around 7:15-7:30 and here until minutes before 6:00pm. He’s 2 and shrieks/whines all day long. Barely uses words to ask for anything and anytime you say no or we’re changing an activity it’s the same loud ear peircing shriek that lasts for several minutes.
Next child is part time, almost 3 but parents want to routinely change days that’s she is in care but don’t pay for the added day that they switched. They left their other provider because thier other provider put a stop this and started charging them. Her hours are 7:30-4:30 but they will text minutes before 4:30 that they are going to be late and she will be here until 5:30 or later.
Next 2 children are 10 months and 2 years. They get dropped off anywhere from 8:30-10:30. What was originally agreed was 7:30 and then after the 2nd day she started having her dad drop them off so they can sleep in. The 2 year old will not nap, ok fine, but is extremely disruptive to the group at naptime that ends up waking everyone up within 30 minutes. They were getting picked up around 5:00-5:15 but was just told yesterday they will be here until 5:45-6:00pm now.
The problem I guess is my husband goes to bed at 7 because he gets up at 245am and he is not able to take time off work unless it’s urgent. This leaves me to take care of appointments, after school activities, or any errands that need ran during the week. I’m exhausted by 6pm and still have so much that needs done. I have a 7, 4 and 6 month old.
Sounds to me like you definitely need to scale back hours & get firm on your policies. Like another poster stated, change starting hours to 7:30. I would also consider offering a small discount to parents who pick up by 5:00. It's amazing what parents can work out when money is involved. 6:30am-6pm. First child gets dropped of around 7:15-7:30 and here until minutes before 6:00pm. He’s 2 and shrieks/whines all day long. Barely uses words to ask for anything and anytime you say no or we’re changing an activity it’s the same loud ear peircing shriek that lasts for several minutes.
Next child is part time, almost 3 but parents want to routinely change days that’s she is in care but don’t pay for the added day that they switched. They left their other provider because thier other provider put a stop this and started charging them. Her hours are 7:30-4:30 but they will text minutes before 4:30 that they are going to be late and she will be here until 5:30 or later.
Next 2 children are 10 months and 2 years. They get dropped off anywhere from 8:30-10:30. What was originally agreed was 7:30 and then after the 2nd day she started having her dad drop them off so they can sleep in. The 2 year old will not nap, ok fine, but is extremely disruptive to the group at naptime that ends up waking everyone up within 30 minutes. They were getting picked up around 5:00-5:15 but was just told yesterday they will be here until 5:45-6:00pm now.
The problem I guess is my husband goes to bed at 7 because he gets up at 245am and he is not able to take time off work unless it’s urgent. This leaves me to take care of appointments, after school activities, or any errands that need ran during the week. I’m exhausted by 6pm and still have so much that needs done. I have a 7, 4 and 6 month old.
I hear you on the ear piercing shriek. I have one of those too!
He's getting better! I would refuse to get what he wants unless he attempts to use words. Constantly remind him, I can't understand when you scream & then ignore until he attempts to use his words. If transitions are rough for him remember to warn him ahead of time. Johnny, we're going to clean up in 5 minutes...Johnny, 2 more minutes...okay, time to clean up then we'll move on to lunch. I'll know you're ready to join us when you've finished screaming...etc.The parents switching days needs to stop. Have them choose the days they need & if they add a day make them pay for it upon drop in. They don't leave the child w/o paying.
The 2 yr old sleeping in is probably why he's not napping. Check out the thread on morning nap from earlier today. Black cat has awesome advise about dealing with non nappers.
It can be a lot trying to juggle all of this by yourself. I understand so much more than I can say. Give yourself grace. Have a good evening routine in place & remember that your own kids can help with more than we give them credit for a lot of times. Have them lay out clothes for the next day, help with setting table, clearing dishes, etc. It's a good chance for some face time with them while you're catching up for the night as well.
Finally, if you really don't feel like this is something you want to continue don't allow yourself to feel guilty about it. Ultimately, you are responsible for your family first & foremost. Daycare has to come second. If it's draining you to the point of not being able to feel good about your other responsibilities it's ok to decide to be done. Hugs to you!
Vesta 04:22 PM 02-22-2018
My husband works a similar schedule as yours 2a.m. to 10 and he handles allllll the afternoon appointments and kid duties. With a 14 year old he has basically turned into an uber driver.
He goes to bed early but he packs in a lot. This has been the way its been for the past 6 years, and I would have gone insane without his help. He occasionally does the shopping, but I'm too control freaky for that to happen too often. But he calls everyday to see if I need him to pick something up on his way home.
He goes to bed early but he packs in a lot. This has been the way its been for the past 6 years, and I would have gone insane without his help. He occasionally does the shopping, but I'm too control freaky for that to happen too often. But he calls everyday to see if I need him to pick something up on his way home.
BrynleeJean 02:09 PM 02-23-2018
i did the SAME thing! i had a lot of feeling, just like alone and then eventually i just felt like nuts and i LOVE what i do. i closed after 2 years with utter defeat,kicking and screaming, with tears in my eyes and am going to try again here in august.
some things i wish id done differently were
1. prayed
2. had a routine for myself each morning and night even if it was 15 mins of doing my hair to music in the morning and a bath or book at night alone, i wish id done that and kept it consistent
3. Scheduled days maybe each week for me to go out and see and talk to adults and have stimulating conversations so my brain didnt feel like it was dying lol. like maybe bible study night or girls night, consistent every week, and add more days on top of that like date night with spouse but if that didnt work out at least i had my weekly commitment of girls night out or whatever.
4. schedule one training day a month maybe id have to close my daycare early without pay for this but for my sanity id need it and i need the training anyways, i would have picked in person trainings, maybe a 6 our saturday or tuesday evening, preferably with home daycare providers but if not at least I'm seeing other providers in person and knowing i wasn't alone.
5. id remind myself the priority scale , first me and my family, second the daycare as a whole, third each individual family. id remind myself of number one, not to be selfish but to safeguard myself and family or this WONT work.
if i was back then, loosing my mind like i was, i would have told myself to implent this stuff at least, asap
I really hope you find peace at home soon. good luck!
some things i wish id done differently were
1. prayed
2. had a routine for myself each morning and night even if it was 15 mins of doing my hair to music in the morning and a bath or book at night alone, i wish id done that and kept it consistent
3. Scheduled days maybe each week for me to go out and see and talk to adults and have stimulating conversations so my brain didnt feel like it was dying lol. like maybe bible study night or girls night, consistent every week, and add more days on top of that like date night with spouse but if that didnt work out at least i had my weekly commitment of girls night out or whatever.
4. schedule one training day a month maybe id have to close my daycare early without pay for this but for my sanity id need it and i need the training anyways, i would have picked in person trainings, maybe a 6 our saturday or tuesday evening, preferably with home daycare providers but if not at least I'm seeing other providers in person and knowing i wasn't alone.
5. id remind myself the priority scale , first me and my family, second the daycare as a whole, third each individual family. id remind myself of number one, not to be selfish but to safeguard myself and family or this WONT work.
if i was back then, loosing my mind like i was, i would have told myself to implent this stuff at least, asap
I really hope you find peace at home soon. good luck!
HappyEverAfter 06:07 PM 02-23-2018
1. Stand your ground on your policies and put an end to day switching and last minute late pick ups. Only you can enforce this and you should not feel bad about it at all.
2. Prep ahead of time everything that you can. The night before, even though I’m exhausted, I take 10 min or so and prep bottles and measure out formula and set up activities, etc. It makes my work day a lot less stressful.
3. Consider slightly cutting back your hours. When I started I opened earlier but after 6 months changed my opening time to open 15 min later. While it’s only 15 min, it feels like I gained more time for myself in the morning and it didn’t inconvenience any parents.
4. As for your non napper, can you put her in a separate room during nap time and run white noise in the other napping rooms? Would she play quietly on a mat with quiet toys if she had them?
5. As for your screeching child, try constantly telling him “too loud” “no, no, let’s use our inside voices”. I’ve got a 10mth old, occasional screecher (who does it out of happiness) and I’ve been really working on correcting her. It’s gotten much better but has taken some time. I know yours sounds worse and much more annoying though but at 2 yrs old this shouldn’t be an unbreakable habit.
2. Prep ahead of time everything that you can. The night before, even though I’m exhausted, I take 10 min or so and prep bottles and measure out formula and set up activities, etc. It makes my work day a lot less stressful.
3. Consider slightly cutting back your hours. When I started I opened earlier but after 6 months changed my opening time to open 15 min later. While it’s only 15 min, it feels like I gained more time for myself in the morning and it didn’t inconvenience any parents.
4. As for your non napper, can you put her in a separate room during nap time and run white noise in the other napping rooms? Would she play quietly on a mat with quiet toys if she had them?
5. As for your screeching child, try constantly telling him “too loud” “no, no, let’s use our inside voices”. I’ve got a 10mth old, occasional screecher (who does it out of happiness) and I’ve been really working on correcting her. It’s gotten much better but has taken some time. I know yours sounds worse and much more annoying though but at 2 yrs old this shouldn’t be an unbreakable habit.
rosieteddy 07:01 AM 02-24-2018
I eventually changed my hours.I went from 7-6 for a set fee.I found parents were using the time for shopping or personal reasons .There mentality was "I am paying for it so I should use it".Five years in I changed contract to 8-5pm one fee.Then on a case to case basis charged extra 5 dollars for 7:30 -8 extra 10 dollars 7-8.It was amazing how everyone found a way to start at 8 am.I did the same for pickup but I only opened till 5:30 for a 10 charge daily.Again people adjusted there pick-up they did use 5:30 but I was compensated for it.As far as late drop off I did not allow drop off after 9:30 am and they had to be fed and ready for our morning walk.This also became rare.
Jamie 04:08 AM 02-26-2018
As others have said, cut back your hours and stand firm on your policies.
Get a routine for the day. And follow it, "regardless of the kids" - we are outside until 11, I don't care if you whine. Naptime is from this hour to this hour, regardless of drop off. Etc. etc. Get a routine that works for YOU. You will never be able to perfectly accomodate 6 different kids, but if your routine works for you, you can give the kids a happy provider, and that is the Best thing you can give them 😊
Get a routine for the day. And follow it, "regardless of the kids" - we are outside until 11, I don't care if you whine. Naptime is from this hour to this hour, regardless of drop off. Etc. etc. Get a routine that works for YOU. You will never be able to perfectly accomodate 6 different kids, but if your routine works for you, you can give the kids a happy provider, and that is the Best thing you can give them 😊