I'm really hurt. Two of my daycare families are done for the year (Christmas holidays) and neither of them even gave me so much as a card. I don't want much, just a little thank you for what I do.

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So sorry!

Some people are just rude. But hang in there, maybe it's in the mail?!?!

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On the Today show the other day they had an ettiquette expert on and he said that a daycare provider or nanny should be given a weeks pay as a gift/tip for Christmas. Don't we all wish!!! Hugs, maybe it's in the mail!

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Years ago I had a whole group of parents who gave generously. This new generation - nothing. I know how you feel.

We thank you for serving the children and their families.

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I'm sorry that there was no card or any thanks! You definitely deserve it. Thank you for all you do & for your loving & caring manner. May you have a wonderful holiday!

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That's very disrespectful, selfish, and shows a lack of manners. I would be devestated if my parents treated me like that. I can't even imagine it.

Hugs to you and Merry Christmas

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Yeah that is sad and really sucks. I wish I could get a thank you, just once would be great!!
I think they are just really rude!

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Ha!! This is a good one!!!

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I would call them Monday when you think they would be home and just wish them a Merry Christmas and tell them you didn't get the chance to wish them Merry Christmas before they left. Maybe they will do the same? It would make you look good and feel better, even if they don't have the brain to say it back. If you call after your daycare hours, you can count the time spent on the phone!

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I heard of a provider who sent out a newsletter thanking all the parents for the very generous gifts and especially the cards. She didn't get a gift or card from all of them, but maybe they were shamed enough to realize they were jerks.

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I know it can be very hurtful when parents don't recognize the effort you make caring for their kids; I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I've been doing child care for about 13 years and in that time, I've had many generous parents who have given me some wonderful gifts both at Christmas and when they've left my care (full weeks' pay, beautiful, handmade pieces of furniture, gift cards, candles, lotions, etc. and my personal favorite: updated pictures of their kids!). I've also had parents who have given me nothing. I decided a long time ago not to take it personally. I try not to anticipate getting thanks from the parents so when I do get them, I'm surprised and when I don't get them, I'm not disappointed. Unfortunately, manners aren't being taught the way they used to be. Kids that aren't taught manners grow up to be adults who don't have manners.

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that's crazy - school has been out here all week and the kids missed their christmas parties. i was mad bc i didn't get to give their teachers the gifts i bought/made. i made my son's preschool teacher a crayon collage in a frame thing and i really wanted to give it to her along with a gift card. i sent her a message though and told her if she happens to be at work on monday for any reason (possible since they were out all week) to let me know bc i wanted to bring her something. i even get something for the assistants and the bus driver. did i mention i'm poor?

seriously, i started telling my family last year to stop buying gifts for me and i wouldn't buy for them. same goes with family that have kids - we agreed they don't buy my kids gifts and i won't buy for theirs. they just always end up with entirely too many toys and i end up with entirely too little cash. so, the only ppl i buy for other than my kids are their teachers - it's crazy that there are people who don't. i got into an argument with my sister about this once bc she said "they're just doing their job" and it got pretty heated. of course, i'm biased, but i think i'm right if anyone deserves a thank you at christmas it's the person who takes care of your kid half the day, every day.

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HA!
I just did a quick google to see what would come up on Christmas Gift Ideas for Daycare Providers.

My goodness, nothing about a weeks pay came up that's for sure. They are saying "something cheap but not breakable garbage cheap", ornaments, or at most 15-20 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to admit, I would be a little hurt if I don't receive anything, but at the same time, I would be VERY appreciative of just a christmas card. As I am extremely tight right now, and buying gifts for all the children would be a little tough for me. But I am very clever in the baking department, dollar store buys etc. So I can also figure out something.

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I guess I am one of the lucky few. When I worked at my former center, I too, would be lucky to get a thank you. Of course some parents would give me cards, and little knick knacks. I know at Christmas I shouldn't be greedy and all that but I worked hard all year and again would be lucky to get a card. It is a bummer.

Now I am a private nanny. This will be my second Christmas with them. Last year I got 2 paid weeks vacation PLUS a Target gift card. This year its almost again 2 weeks paid vacation (they are coming home sooner ).

But do you know what the best part of all this is? Every single day I leave, the mother and/or father says thank you, have a good night, see you tomorrow, have a great weekend, etc..and they MEAN IT. To me that is the Christmas present I can ask for and its all year round too

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I have one little boy who grabs my face and looks into my eyes and says,.. Thank you for the nice time, I love you... every day. That to me means more than anything.

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my heart just melted........

I agree.

I also have to admit, that I get a little "hee hee hee" or even a "muahahaha" in the back of my head, when parents come to pick their kids up, and they start acting like little brats and crying cause they don't want to leave. Makes me feel good. LOL

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I TOTALLY agree!

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Awwww...I have one little one who, each and every time I change her diaper, stands up, hugs me and says, "I love you too mama, I love you too, Jen" She's two and the absolute cutest thing I've ever seen.

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I make sure that every day I thank my day care parents. If one parent drops off and the other picks up I make sure that I tell each parent "thank you". If one parent does both drop off and pick up I say "thank you" when the parent leaves in the afternoon.

I do lots of versions of it: Thanks Mommy.... Thanks Dad... Thanks Mama.... Thanks Daddy.... Thank you SO much.... Thanks guys see ya in the morning.... Bye BooBoo .. thanks Moms.. etc.

I make sure they are KNOW that I appreciate THEM. When parents treat you with respect and are loyal they need to hear that you GET it and appreciate it.


It's good manners and it's good for business.

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I always say the same thing at drop off and pick up- either"Have a good day or good evening or good weekend!!

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At drop off when the parent is leaving I say to the parents "Be good at work Mommy/Daddy"

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one of my daycare moms gave me a whisk filled with hershey kisses and a card that said "We *whisk* you a very Merry *Kiss*-mas" haha...I loved it, I thought it was super cute, and we gave each of our daycare parents a platter of homemade goodies that the kids helped make. Money is tight for everyone, I would much rather they spend their money on their kids then on getting me something, it's the thought that counts and I love my whisk and kisses lol

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That does suck! Merry Christmas to you and your family and I hope your other families make up for these ones!

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I say thank you every day to my parents, wish them a good day, when something is going on in their lives I do what I can to help out.

A friend of mine last week asked what she should get her babysitter for Christmas, that she was thinking $100. I was blown away!

I didn't word my original post correctly. When I stated that all I want is a little thank you for what I do, I didn't mean GIFTS. I love reading the cards, I love seeing the children's attempts at writing their names, even if it's a line scribbled across the page. I love it! And I think that when the parents don't even think I'm worthy of a card, that really translates to the kids.

They were all sent home with their Christmas gifts yesterday, and in one case, on Thursday, as that was her last day until January. Her mom had made a point to tell me to make sure her daughter didn't forget to give her teacher her gift. Then, "K bye!"

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I will have to try that. I usually only buy gifts for immediate family now, but that would be wonderful to give to all my friends. Chocolate still adds up, but who doesn't love chocolate!

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[quote=AmandasFCC;65422]I say thank you every day to my parents, wish them a good day, when something is going on in their lives I do what I can to help out.

A friend of mine last week asked what she should get her babysitter for Christmas, that she was thinking $100. I was blown away!

I didn't word my original post correctly. When I stated that all I want is a little thank you for what I do, I didn't mean GIFTS. I love reading the cards, I love seeing the children's attempts at writing their names, even if it's a line scribbled across the page. I love it! And I think that when the parents don't even think I'm worthy of a card, that really translates to the kids.

They were all sent home with their Christmas gifts yesterday, and in one case, on Thursday, as that was her last day until January. Her mom had made a point to tell me to make sure her daughter didn't forget to give her teacher her gift. Then, "K bye!"[/QUOTE]

huh?

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that is really cute - i'll have to steal that idea!

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[quote=QualiTcare;65424]

Sorry that wasn't clear lol.

One daycare girl's last day before holidays was Thursday. When Mom dropped her off in the morning, Mom made a point to tell me not to let dcg forget to give her teacher at school her gift, because I walk her to school every morning. "The gift is in her backpack, please make sure teacher gets it." And then off she goes. No "Merry Christmas", nothing.

Maybe it's petty, but it just hurt my feelings a bit. Yes, I do realize that, in this case, the teacher is clearly more significant in this dcg's life, but you can get a box of generic cards for $5, write Merry Christmas on it, and that's that.

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I think that most providers do enjoy a hand written card but if we were all completely honest ... what we really really want... is cold hard cash or gift cards.

We aren't any different than any other subsect of the population. We know that when someone gives you cash that it says a lot about how they value your service. Gifts are nice but the food gifts, soaps, flower arrangements.. stuff like that isn't really what the average every day person wants.

I came across this post and thought it related to this thread:

http://www.mothering.com/community/f...ycare-provider

"never thought of it
I mean, I had heard that if you have an au pair or nanny it was expected, but not for someone with a business. Shoot, when I was a nanny, I only received little gifts. I didn't expect a bonus. Is this the norm now? I mean, I love my CCProvider, but she gets a week paid vacation from parents per year, so I wouldn't expect to give an addition week's bonus. It's hard enough scraping the pay together for childcare as it is. Most providers are not looking to make big $$ with thier job anyway.
Guess, I'm a Scrooge."

I think it's pretty common thinking. It's a great example of the key ingredients to parents thinking when it comes to end of the year bonus:
You have a business (convienient time to think of us that way
The provider already gets paid days off.
Child care is so expensive.
Most providers are doing it to make SOME extra money but mostly doing it cuz they love kids.

There are exceptions to this but I believe that most people believe that they are already paying too much for child care. It's usually the second biggest bill most parents have and on a week to week basis they think that it's A LOT for what we do. If they pay for holiday and vacations they REALLY think it's a lot.

There really isn't much connection that a home provider has expenses for their kid when their kid is in the providers house. Most providers have the house already and their own family living in it so the parents don't really connect the idea that they have to pay a portion of that HOUSE, your car, the washer, dryer, dish soap, food, utilities etc. They truly believe that the money they pay a provider is for the physical care of the kid.

Most parents don't want to pay for time when their kid isn't in your care. They really JUST want to believe that the money they pay is for a part of your physical care and watching of the kid and when they see four/five/six kids they are believing that you are making a REALLY good wage for what you do.

So when it comes time for gift giving they already believe they have done too much especially if they have paid for any time when their kid isn't in your care (sick days, vacation, holidays etc.) You have had so many "free" days already that that is gift enough.

You will find parents that don't think along those lines. They are the special ones we all want. In this day of entitlement and self centeredness... they are not so easy to find.

So if your population is parents who have this kind of thinking your best bet is to build into your fees your "bonus" and require it. There's a reason why some resturants build in a fifteen percent gratuity right into the tab for their waiter. The restraunt industry KNOWS that there will be a significant amount of the customers that wil stiff the waiter when it comes time to pay so they set the rules up so that it can't happen.

It is nice to get handwritten cards. It's great to be wished a Happy Holiday. The kids growth, development, happiness etc. IS important... but the truth is that we are common every day people just like everyone else and if the client really wants to make their provider feel special they will give MONEY. If you have year after year and they aren't giving year end bonus then maybe it's time to build it into your contract as paid time off so you have something concrete to work toward and feel like you are receving what "should be".

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Nanny, you're absolutely right, I think--that most of us really do appreciate the cards and notes and heartfelt thank yous and words of appreciation, but at the end of the day (or the year? ) what we would LIKE most is something that goes above that. A gift, some money, something. Along with the thank you and the heartfelt words of appreciation. My one dcm paid me through the rest of the year (they're out until January now) and included an extra half weeks' pay!! I was thrilled, and that the card AND her words that day said "Thank you so much for all you do for dcb, we really appreciate it" (okay, I paraphrased, but that's the gist) meant EVEN more. The fact that what I do for their son and their family means ENOUGH to them that they wanted to give me something (and half a weeks' pay is nothing to sneeze at!) in return, means a lot.

I don't *expect* anything from any of the families...but I would *LIKE* something. And if we're all pretty honest, monetary gifts are likely to find their way right back to the daycare parents in the form of stuff for the daycare.

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ive have some parents give me cash, equal to a weeks pay.

some bring me little trinkets, handmade ornaments, goodies, etc.

some just give me a card with a new holiday picture of their kids.

i love it all, and am greatful.

but i have a few who say nothing. not a "merry christmas, thank you" nothing. and honestly, it does hurt. but sometimes, i cut them a little slack. we all live differently, and christmas may not be as important to some as others. they might not realize that its important to me, you know? the family who said nothing to me last year isnt really that into holidays. so even though it hurt, i have to respect the way they do things too. this same family had an older son leave for Iraq this year. mom has been a mess. i have been bending over backward (which i wanted to) to help out. one day out of the blue mom broke down in front of me, and went on and on how she wouldnt have made it through the year without my help, how wonderful of a provider i am, and how greatful she is that i'm always here for her family. i soo bawled, right there in front of her too. after two years of never saying anything, she let it all out...lol so next week, i won't be expecting a "gift" from her, but in my eyes, i've already received it.

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Very much agreed!!! with the last few posts.

The fact that a parent doesn't find us worthy enough of a card wishing us and/or our family a happy holiday is enough to tick me off.

It's not the gift/money per say. Although it sure makes you feel a lot more appreciated and not just a name on a list for who you "have to" give a card to. And if it's obvious there is some thought put into the gift, even better. It shows they truly do care about us as much as we care about their kids (most likely we care about the kids more, but you get my jist).

Personally, I understand both logics, and I can see how maybe we can slip their mind. How if the childs last day was last week, how maybe they never even realized that it was the time to say merry christmas happy new year blah blah.
I understand child care is a major cost to any parent (except one, cause she told me about 10 times in the interview she was only doing it for a tax writeoff, I didn't accept that kid into my care as my gut was telling me CRAZY PEOPLE! ), but as I've stated before, not sure if it was in this thread of a different one, the cost for their child's care is very minimal. Just imagine if we charged $5/hr for fulltimers too! On average my casual right now pays me 120/week, that's 480/mth! That's a lot of money, yes, but that's not even my mortgage payment for the month. With certain moms, when we become closer, if the conversation ever arises in one way or another, NOT that I am sitting there waiting for this opportunity, but either mention to take the cost/day and divide into the number of hours the child is in my care, or just flat out say 2/hour! Once the parents see it in that respect, it changes everything. It's just backwards from the morning tims/mth. If you don't know what I'm talking about, people who get a coffee on their way to work every morning think it's only a $1 or 2, add that up over the month, and that's a lot of coffee! Buy a can of grinds and a coffee maker and it's cheaper.

I even had cards made up for prior clients who no longer use my services. I won't do this forever, but for the year of care. We make crafts on every occassion for xmas, mothers day, father's day, if we know the parents bday then we do that as well. Those are crafts that go above what the normal everyday crafts are. They are more special, cost more money, and generally have a lot of time planning and preparing to do so. We don't get paid to take an hour out of our day to do shopping for the weeks lunches/snacks, we don't get paid time to prepare those snacks/lunches in the evening or portion them out, we don't get paid time and a half on holidays that we do work, or double time for that matter. People working at mcdonalds get a lot more pay, health benefits, dental etc. We don't, unless we choose to pay alot more to buy our own coverage.

As for the days off we get paid for during the year, I don't see it that way. If they're child is sick, they've still booked that spot, I was ready and willing to work that morning, I got up, if they phoned and said charlie was up all night, they're not bringing him to daycare, hows that fair? I don't charge for any days I take off due to sickness, vacation or anything (so far I haven't had to call in sick knock on wood), and if the family goes on vacation I charge 50% of the rate to maintain their spot for a max of 1 week, any extra weeks is then 100% the rate, but how many people honestly take 2 or more weeks vacation all at once? And if they inform me with 4 full weeks notice, then I probably won't charge them at all, depending on if I can fill those spots with casuals.

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My parents give cash (extra days paid off, gift cards, money) and chocolates (Ritter Sport chocolate to be EXACT). Nan likey those Usually the first Christmas is a little cash and a gift. By the second Christmas it's about one weeks pay. Third is usually one weeks pay and a great gift. Fourth and up is usually two weeks pay.

They do bring in containers of treats for the kids. One of my Dad's is an executive chef so he sends home made treats. All of my families can COOK and food is important so they bring the day care kids some kind of fancy bars, cookies, hand dipped candies. We also get donations of home grown stuff like bags of corn and wild meats. Last year one of my Dad's donated a few big bags of deer roasts and fish. This year one of the families gave us bags of frozen corn from their parents farm. Nan likey that too cuz that's something special we don't normally get.

When they give gifts it is usually something to do with cooking. I get a good stock of Pampered Chef cooking ware because I do a LOT of cooking and they know the higher end equipment makes it easier for me to make big meals every day. They buy me multiples of pans and knives and stuff so I can have everything I need to make everything from scratch.

They are also very generous with my staff assistant. She pulled in nearly three hundred from the parents this year in cash and then got candy and some Christmas stuff for gifts. I share any food that comes in with her so she got a cut of the corn I also bonus her at the end of the year a percentage of my bonus plus two weeks paid off.

We got a couple of cards but the cash comes in cash envelopes and they usually scrawl something like "thanks we love you guys.." on the outside of the envelope. They aren't such a mushy writing group.

My families are respectful and appreciative. They recognize how HARD we work all year. They know we don't call off work and we only have about 18 to 20 days off total per year. We send their kid home happy and healthy every day and we don't have conflict that isn't handled with dignity.

They know we go the extra mile every day in making sure their kid has the best we can do and come year end they show their appreciation in money and gifts of food that they know are VERY special to us.

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THis is very well said!!!

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I am super surprised - the family that gave notice this weekend (who didn't say as much as Merry Christmas last year) gave me a card, hand made/decorated cookies, and a Willow Tree angel Really trying to wait until after breakfast before diving in to the cookies, not sure how long that will last!

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lol I know how that is! I'm trying REALLY hard to finish up all my baking so I can give my families the plates of goodies before I eat 'em all.

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My son is going with his grandma for their Christmas time together tomorrow night (they do this every year) and all she ever wants is no-bake cookies. My son wanted to make them over the weekend and I told him he might want to wait until Tuesday afternoon, if he wants to have any left to give to grandma

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