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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>4 1/2 Year Old Wetting Pants!!!
kcnjason 01:08 PM 06-02-2011
I have a 4.5 year old that I care for and I have since she was about 1 year old. She still has consisten accidents all day EVERY day and it does get very frusterating. Her parents seem to have tried different things and I finally convinced them to take her to a doctor which nothing super large came out of all the testing. She is very smart and I know she CAN stay dry. She often will go all day dry and not joking, when her mother pulls up she is wet soon after. She will wet her pants and not tell anybody, she knows when she does it. She use to hide her underwear and wet pants, even change her pullups and hide them in "hiding places". It is very frusterating and very Unsanitary!!! Her mother feels that if she is in a pull up than that is not helping at all as her daughter says, "if I have a pull up on, I will just pee in it because that is what they are for". Yet if she wears panties she is having 5, 6 sometimes more accidents a day. I would rather change 1 or 2 soaked pullups rather than wet pants and panties all throughout the day. The other big issue is when she sits on the furniture, on the carpeted floors, in the car (if we go on an outting) then it gets everywhere!!!! What would you do? What would you tell the parent? It's frusterating! She really doesn't care if she wets her pants, if we get upset, if we don't say anything. This is tough.
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AmandasFCC 01:17 PM 06-02-2011
Plastic underpants. I wouldn't put a 4 year old in pull ups, seems to me that's just asking for trouble.
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Country Kids 01:18 PM 06-02-2011
Could she have kidney issues and maybe when she has to go she has to go? I think her wetting 5-6 times a day is alot because I have 3 year olds that don't even go that many times a day. Have you tried not giving her alot to drink or maybe really staying on top of it and taking her to the bathroom every 30 min or so? I would have them talk to the doctor about bladder infections, kidney troubles, or she may have a very small bladder.
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nannyde 01:19 PM 06-02-2011
She's just not potty trained. Plain and simple.

Time to put her back into diapers or pull ups.
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daycare 01:39 PM 06-02-2011
I had a 5 year old that was doing this and I deemed him UN potty trained. The parents got so mad that I made them put the child back in pull ups. The child was having poop and pee issues.

I ended up terming because the parents claimed that he had hereditary laziness....lmao they really did. They refused to put the child in pull ups, I gave them a carpet cleaning bill on their way out...
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wdmmom 01:45 PM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I had a 5 year old that was doing this and I deemed him UN potty trained. The parents got so mad that I made them put the child back in pull ups. The child was having poop and pee issues.

I ended up terming because the parents claimed that he had hereditary laziness....lmao they really did. They refused to put the child in pull ups, I gave them a carpet cleaning bill on their way out...
I'm with daycare. Tell mom plain and simple: I can no longer waste the countless hours cleaning up after her child's accidents. Tell her that the child goes back into diapers or pull ups until she goes a solid 2 weeks without accidents. Then only put them on at naptime for another 2 weeks. If she remains dry during that time, remove completely.

If mom is against it, ask her if she's interested in paying the carpet cleaners bill?! It's time to term or raise their rate to cover the costs of you cleaning and all the additional laundry you are doing!
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kcnjason 02:49 PM 06-02-2011
Thanks for all of the feedback! After I nagged the mother she finally took her to the dr and come to find out something with her internal parts were not functioning right so they put her on some kind of medication for the muscles that were not working correctly. That made it so when she had accidents she flowed like a river, whereas before that point would would pee and it would be a small amount. She never did really empty her bladder. Her mom doesn't feel that the medicine really works but is unsure. However, when she does wear a pull up it does not bother her to soak it full!!! I thought about how often all of my kids go to the bathroom and she definately has more accidents than any of my dck go to the bathroom. It is VERY frusterating. What makes it even harder is that the mother is kind of hard to talk to, I mean, it's hard to tell her that I feel her daughter should be in pull ups, maybe because it seems that she knows more than me. I don't know, but I think I will tell her tonight she is either in pull ups or in panties with a plastic liner. It is unsanitary. I should look up the guidelines for it through the state.
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nannyde 03:03 PM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by kcnjason:
Thanks for all of the feedback! After I nagged the mother she finally took her to the dr and come to find out something with her internal parts were not functioning right so they put her on some kind of medication for the muscles that were not working correctly. That made it so when she had accidents she flowed like a river, whereas before that point would would pee and it would be a small amount. She never did really empty her bladder. Her mom doesn't feel that the medicine really works but is unsure. However, when she does wear a pull up it does not bother her to soak it full!!! I thought about how often all of my kids go to the bathroom and she definately has more accidents than any of my dck go to the bathroom. It is VERY frusterating. What makes it even harder is that the mother is kind of hard to talk to, I mean, it's hard to tell her that I feel her daughter should be in pull ups, maybe because it seems that she knows more than me. I don't know, but I think I will tell her tonight she is either in pull ups or in panties with a plastic liner. It is unsanitary. I should look up the guidelines for it through the state.
Don't do panties and plastic. She will agree to the panties part but she won't stay with the plastic. The plastic won't protect your carpet.

She doesn't GET to be hard to talk to. She has a kid that is peeing on your stuff. It's not complicated. It's not negotiable. She HAS to have her urine contained at ALL TIMES every day all day long.

When she goes two weeks without an accident at YOUR house she can go back in undies. She's old enough to change her own pull up so just have her do it herself.

Medical condition or not... it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that the urine is getting on your stuff.
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Cat Herder 03:44 PM 06-02-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Don't do panties and plastic. She will agree to the panties part but she won't stay with the plastic. The plastic won't protect your carpet.

She doesn't GET to be hard to talk to. She has a kid that is peeing on your stuff. It's not complicated. It's not negotiable. She HAS to have her urine contained at ALL TIMES every day all day long.

When she goes two weeks without an accident at YOUR house she can go back in undies. She's old enough to change her own pull up so just have her do it herself.

Medical condition or not... it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that the urine is getting on your stuff.
Could not agree more. Pull-ups mandatory. Plastic pants are unhygienic and not allowed here. By the State AND me.

The rules don't change in my house just because they are older, ask my Grandma .
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Mom_of_two 05:44 PM 06-02-2011
Pull-ups. I stick to my policy regardless of age. Two weeks accident free at home and daycare to be in underwear. More than one accident, back in pull-ups for two weeks. Good luck!!!!

ETA- Totally agree with Nannyde's last post (I don't know how to cut and paste again in here-lol-) to me it would not matter what the state said, it is my home and business, it is what I say that matters- some of this is non-negotiable etc.
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mac60 03:41 AM 06-03-2011
Totally agree, back in pull ups. I find all the pee incidents (not accidents), totally disgusting.
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Kaddidle Care 04:12 AM 06-03-2011
I agree with everyone else - put her in a full blown diaper if they are big enough. Pull ups are a waste of money.

Your house must reek - do not tolerate someone urinating all over it! How awful!

Don't forget a sticker chart for the child for when she goes in the proper place with a possible small reward (from MOM) when she gets a no accident/incident report at the end of the week.

Sticker charts are great for the especially stubborn/unruly children. Dangle that carrot!

There are sites online that you can print off easy sticker charts from.

The other kids might want a sticker chart too - do one for good behavior things, being first to clean up, being POLITE (we soooo need to encourage this!), etc. The prize doesn't have to be anything huge - it can be snack helper or line leader. (no $$$!)

Best wishes!
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SimpleMom 05:49 AM 06-03-2011
Just my two cents
My daughter was like that when she was young. She started training at age 2 (she showed interest--nothing pushed by any means). At age 4 and a half she was STILL having accidents (both types). It was heart-breaking and frustrating all the same. Ii have done daycare for over 18 years and had/have plenty of experience with potty training. It just happens sometimes. I'm sure the parents are really trying hard to train the daughter. Some kids wet their beds really late in age, too.

As far as the pull-ups go: if they are uncomfortable and you are alright with it, maybe the cloth diapers with the velcro on them would work. I use them with babies and they are very sanitary (the ones with the inserts).

I agree with the potty charts. The rewards work wonders. Maybe take her every hour or two til she learns? Sometimes kids wait and wait and them holy cow they have a river and it's taken them by "surprise".

Good Luck. I know it's frustrating and I understand the sanitary aspect of it all. Take care of that first. There's nothing wrong with that. The parents will jus need to deal with that or maybe find other arrangements. Rules are rules.
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Tags:cleanliness policy, potty trained - not, urine, wetting clothes
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