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Logged out for Privacy 04:48 AM 10-30-2013
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So, I have a spot to fill, and I've been a little desperate, and taking calls that I normally wouldn't in order to make some money.

Well, I had a dcm come by for an interview. Very nice lady, but full of drama with dcd, abuse at home, no structure, etc. Kids are at a friends house being watched, sounds like it's tv all day, and the kids have no enrichment or activities. Dcm says they are "wild" and biters. She hasn't tried potty training ever, and she kept asking me, "What do I do" (about kids behaviors).

Regardless of their behavior and home life, dcm says she's had 5 jobs in the last year and current dc provider wants her kids out asap. Top it off, she wants to pay 1/2 my weekly rate, and I stupidly said I might be able to work with it, because I sympathized with her situation. I told her to keep searching though, because I was interviewing others, and had a schedule conflict with at least one of the days she needed. She was ready to sign up that day. Red flags for me: switching jobs might mean unreliable paychecks for me, and "wild" kids that aren't used to structure could be a behavior problem?

The night of the interview, she called me house 2 x's in a 4 hour period...okay, she's serious about needing daycare. I was out late, so I sent her an email explaining that I couldn't get the schedule conflict worked out, put her on wait list, and best of luck in her search. Next day, she calls 5 x's...I wait to see if she's gotten email, figuring once she does, she will move on. She leaves a vm (6th call) saying she can switch around her schedule, call her back, etc. She now wants Saturdays (I don't do that), so now she's added a day, and still wants to pay 1/2 of what I charge.

I leave her a vm next day saying I have decided not to take on any kids at this time (can't argue with that, right?), keep her on wait list, wish her the best of luck, etc.

I thought I solved this, and that she would move on, but she keeps on calling! Like 6-7 x's a day. I am busy with the kids, work alone, and need this to stop. The thing is, I am not the confrontational type, and I worry about hurting feelings. I understand she is in a bind, but I don't want to give her an excuse that she can bargain with, and get into an argument.

Should I just answer if she calls today, and say that I emailed you and left you a voice mail, please seek other arrangements? I really felt that between the email and vm that it was enough...wwyd?
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momofboys 04:56 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Logged out for Privacy:
Registered member, logged out.
So, I have a spot to fill, and I've been a little desperate, and taking calls that I normally wouldn't in order to make some money.

Well, I had a dcm come by for an interview. Very nice lady, but full of drama with dcd, abuse at home, no structure, etc. Kids are at a friends house being watched, sounds like it's tv all day, and the kids have no enrichment or activities. Dcm says they are "wild" and biters. She hasn't tried potty training ever, and she kept asking me, "What do I do" (about kids behaviors).

Regardless of their behavior and home life, dcm says she's had 5 jobs in the last year and current dc provider wants her kids out asap. Top it off, she wants to pay 1/2 my weekly rate, and I stupidly said I might be able to work with it, because I sympathized with her situation. I told her to keep searching though, because I was interviewing others, and had a schedule conflict with at least one of the days she needed. She was ready to sign up that day. Red flags for me: switching jobs might mean unreliable paychecks for me, and "wild" kids that aren't used to structure could be a behavior problem?

The night of the interview, she called me house 2 x's in a 4 hour period...okay, she's serious about needing daycare. I was out late, so I sent her an email explaining that I couldn't get the schedule conflict worked out, put her on wait list, and best of luck in her search. Next day, she calls 5 x's...I wait to see if she's gotten email, figuring once she does, she will move on. She leaves a vm (6th call) saying she can switch around her schedule, call her back, etc. She now wants Saturdays (I don't do that), so now she's added a day, and still wants to pay 1/2 of what I charge.

I leave her a vm next day saying I have decided not to take on any kids at this time (can't argue with that, right?), keep her on wait list, wish her the best of luck, etc.

I thought I solved this, and that she would move on, but she keeps on calling! Like 6-7 x's a day. I am busy with the kids, work alone, and need this to stop. The thing is, I am not the confrontational type, and I worry about hurting feelings. I understand she is in a bind, but I don't want to give her an excuse that she can bargain with, and get into an argument.

Should I just answer if she calls today, and say that I emailed you and left you a voice mail, please seek other arrangements? I really felt that between the email and vm that it was enough...wwyd?
Red flags galore - I would talk to her & ask why she is calling after you told her you decided not to accept anyone. Or tell her you WILL take the kids for double your rate, lol! Actually I wouldn't do that but I would want to.
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Familycare71 05:00 AM 10-30-2013
Talk to her by phone once... She believes she has something to say that will change your mind- hopefully when it doesn't she will stop. If she does continue calling don't answer again and if you use a cell phone block her #
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coolconfidentme 05:09 AM 10-30-2013
I would call her back & listen to her story one last time. She may need to hear you say, "I'm sorry I cannot help you. Please try XXX daycare." Maybe she'll take the bone & run, idk.
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CedarCreek 05:48 AM 10-30-2013
Yeah, id try to get her on the phone as well.

Just a quick " I'm sorry, I have decided not to take any other children at this time" and don't let her talk over you or too much after that.
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Blackcat31 05:59 AM 10-30-2013
Honestly, you are just going to have to take a deep breath and call her. Tell her "I am happy that you are interested in my program unfortunately I will NOT be able to accommodate your needs. Thank you." Then do NOT say anything.

I know it "feels" natural to fill that awkward silence but if you do, you will only be opening the door for MORE negotiation.

Just say what you need to say and hang up....even if you cut her off.

I wouldn't lie and say you aren't taking on anymore kids because then you are stuck if you DO want to take on more or fill spaces.... Plus if you use that excuse, I guarantee you she will notice if you e d up having an opening in the near future...she will call you back and you will be in the same spot you are now.

Just be honest. Being honest doesn't mean being rude or mean. It's just honest.

"I'm sorry but I am unable to meet your needs." No further explanation needed.

If she asks or pushes, just say "I'm sorry it isn't going to work for me."

You can add niceties like "good luck in your search" or "I hope you are able to find good care" or "have a nice day" whatever....just as long as you don't open yourself to MORE from this woman.

I KNOW it's hard but you can do it.

.......if you don't you are going to end up with a house full of heathens that bite!
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countrymom 05:59 AM 10-30-2013
don't forget you can block her number
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permanentvacation 10:01 AM 10-30-2013
I would either block her number or save her name and number in my phone so it shows on caller id. I have had a couple of people call me when I don't want to accept their calls. I save their name as 'first name dontans" (for don't answer) So anyone in my house knows not to answer that call. Then simply don't answer the phone when she calls. Eventually she will get tired of you not answering her calls and will stop calling.
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My3cents 11:53 AM 10-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Honestly, you are just going to have to take a deep breath and call her. Tell her "I am happy that you are interested in my program unfortunately I will NOT be able to accommodate your needs. Thank you." Then do NOT say anything.

I know it "feels" natural to fill that awkward silence but if you do, you will only be opening the door for MORE negotiation.

Just say what you need to say and hang up....even if you cut her off.

I wouldn't lie and say you aren't taking on anymore kids because then you are stuck if you DO want to take on more or fill spaces.... Plus if you use that excuse, I guarantee you she will notice if you e d up having an opening in the near future...she will call you back and you will be in the same spot you are now.

Just be honest. Being honest doesn't mean being rude or mean. It's just honest.

"I'm sorry but I am unable to meet your needs." No further explanation needed.

If she asks or pushes, just say "I'm sorry it isn't going to work for me."

You can add niceties like "good luck in your search" or "I hope you are able to find good care" or "have a nice day" whatever....just as long as you don't open yourself to MORE from this woman.

I KNOW it's hard but you can do it.

.......if you don't you are going to end up with a house full of heathens that bite!
This is great! I am the type of person that has that need to explain myself and I struggle with this often- It is that awkward silence moment that kills me every time. Some people just have confident way with words and can do this well. I am not one of those-
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cheerfuldom 08:04 PM 10-30-2013
In the future, avoid this issue by not giving moms like this the hope that you might bend the rules for her. You offered her a 50% discount right? of course she is going to be all over that and hounding you to take those kids. Stay firm in your policies from day one and you will avoid a lot of drama.
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Tags:interview, parent from hell, red flag
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