sariejohnston 11:09 AM 02-01-2012
Today has been one of those days where i would like to crawl under a rock and cry my eyes out.
So yesterday i got to leave early because the numbers were low enough where i didnt have to stay the other teacher could take all the Kids. So i guess one of the parents came and got their Kids and started complaining about me asking my director who is the preschool teacher as well what i did all day, and if i do anything with the Kids at all, then why is her Kid biting and misbehaving if i was doing something with them, and so on... Thankfully my director knows that i work my butt of coming up with ideas daily for the two year olds to do every day, everyday we do circle time where we go over calendar and weather, we go over colors, numbers, Letters, shapes. we do music and movement, we read books, we have center times, art time, and some Free play and even at free play i am always in the room watching them, unless i am changing a diaper or helping someone go potty but other then that i dont leave my room. I am doing research all the time on biting and misbehaving and how to prevent it and i have been making a lot of changes to try to prevent it and thats what my director told this parent.. But it broke my heart
that this parent could question what i do all day with these Kids, and try to put the blame on me for her biting and acting out. it hurt me so bad. i felt so small and like i'm not doing a good job.
this has been the first time i had a parent complain about me, in the past i never had problems with parents, they all loved me they all wanted their children in my room because they loved me they always told me i did a good job. but not this parent, she thinks i don't do anything, and i am the one to blame for her children's behavior. i know its going to happen it's part of the job we can't always make everyone happy but it stinks i hate it. on top of being told that this morning, this parent texted me this afternoon asking how her kid was doing, i replied she is doing okay. even though she refuses to listen to anything i tell her, and she is always fighting with someone... as long as she isn't biting, or hitting... it's a good day so i should give her mom a good report. i also have another little one that hates to listen to me, she runs away when i ask her to put her shoes on or coat, or we have to go inside from the playground, or if i even ask her to help me clean up she refuses to listen to me.
i Have noticed she listen to the other Teachers.. both those kids do... any ideas how i can get them to listen to me?
saved4always 11:16 AM 02-01-2012
I am sorry that you are having a bad day.
Try not to take the parent's criticism too personally. She is probably at her wit's end with her child and is looking for anywhere to put the blame. I am sure it is very upsetting to have the child in daycare who is the biter and hitter. I have a child who is going through a biting phase right now but fortunately, the parents are working with me to get through it. Just keep doing what you can with the child. It sounds like you are very concientious. Keep all of those parents who love you in mind and try not to focus on this one disgruntled parent. I hope your day gets better!
Christian Mother 11:40 AM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by sariejohnston:
Today has been one of those days where i would like to crawl under a rock and cry my eyes out.
So yesterday i got to leave early because the numbers were low enough where i didnt have to stay the other teacher could take all the Kids. So i guess one of the parents came and got their Kids and started complaining about me asking my director who is the preschool teacher as well what i did all day, and if i do anything with the Kids at all, then why is her Kid biting and misbehaving if i was doing something with them, and so on... Thankfully my director knows that i work my butt of coming up with ideas daily for the two year olds to do every day, everyday we do circle time where we go over calendar and weather, we go over colors, numbers, Letters, shapes. we do music and movement, we read books, we have center times, art time, and some Free play and even at free play i am always in the room watching them, unless i am changing a diaper or helping someone go potty but other then that i dont leave my room. I am doing research all the time on biting and misbehaving and how to prevent it and i have been making a lot of changes to try to prevent it and thats what my director told this parent.. But it broke my heart that this parent could question what i do all day with these Kids, and try to put the blame on me for her biting and acting out. it hurt me so bad. i felt so small and like i'm not doing a good job.
this has been the first time i had a parent complain about me, in the past i never had problems with parents, they all loved me they all wanted their children in my room because they loved me they always told me i did a good job. but not this parent, she thinks i don't do anything, and i am the one to blame for her children's behavior. i know its going to happen it's part of the job we can't always make everyone happy but it stinks i hate it. on top of being told that this morning, this parent texted me this afternoon asking how her kid was doing, i replied she is doing okay. even though she refuses to listen to anything i tell her, and she is always fighting with someone... as long as she isn't biting, or hitting... it's a good day so i should give her mom a good report. i also have another little one that hates to listen to me, she runs away when i ask her to put her shoes on or coat, or we have to go inside from the playground, or if i even ask her to help me clean up she refuses to listen to me.
i Have noticed she listen to the other Teachers.. both those kids do... any ideas how i can get them to listen to me?
We are almost to the end of the week here...keep your chin up and know that is why we are here...vent, let steam out, even to get some good ideals on how to work with diff. situations. We are all co workers!!
Maybe when you see this mother pull her aside and let her know that you understand her frustration with her child biting and misbehaving but you are doing everything you can to get a hold on it and that you really enjoy this child and want to work with them on these things. Is there perhaps a way to work together on these things. This child is 2? Shadowing and maybe putting her as your helper through out the day will help you a lot. Maybe even a sticker chart for her behavior? Get parents on board and ask them if they've noticed this behavior around others or at home. How do they react when she disobeys them and what are her consciences for disobeying? You want to make the parents aware that you want to help and be there for them to help. It's diff. bc your going to have diff. temperate children in a classroom where there are many diff. types of children and we have to work with them all together. It's had to just pay attention to one behavior...but for the safety of the group specially with bitters you have to. Just make sure you let those parents know that you want to help and are working on biting and such.
Remember..you aren't the cause of this child's behavior. Your there to keep her safe and others around her safe. We can't please the parents all the time although we wish we could. Your going to come across this time and time again just know that you are giving your all for your job and for those children and keep your head up. The weekend is almost here!!
sariejohnston 12:06 PM 02-01-2012
Thanks for the encouragement! I have a smile face chart i use right now for behaviors, Green is Happy, Yellow Kinda sad and Red really Sad. If they keep green up all day they get a Sticker at the end of the day, if it gets to red that means a written letter home to mom or dad. It works pretty well for the most part. I typed out and printed out my class room schedule and made copies for each family, i posted mine by my classroom door so they can see, and hopefully tonight when she gets it she will see what we do.. but i think i am going to pull her aside and talk to her and see if we can work on it together coming up with ideas with her and everything! Thanks so Much for your encouragement and nice words!
Thank God i Found this site!
Christian Mother 03:36 PM 02-01-2012
PitterPatter 04:24 PM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by sariejohnston:
Today has been one of those days where i would like to crawl under a rock and cry my eyes out.
So yesterday i got to leave early because the numbers were low enough where i didnt have to stay the other teacher could take all the Kids. So i guess one of the parents came and got their Kids and started complaining about me asking my director who is the preschool teacher as well what i did all day, and if i do anything with the Kids at all, then why is her Kid biting and misbehaving if i was doing something with them, and so on... Thankfully my director knows that i work my butt of coming up with ideas daily for the two year olds to do every day, everyday we do circle time where we go over calendar and weather, we go over colors, numbers, Letters, shapes. we do music and movement, we read books, we have center times, art time, and some Free play and even at free play i am always in the room watching them, unless i am changing a diaper or helping someone go potty but other then that i dont leave my room. I am doing research all the time on biting and misbehaving and how to prevent it and i have been making a lot of changes to try to prevent it and thats what my director told this parent.. But it broke my heart that this parent could question what i do all day with these Kids, and try to put the blame on me for her biting and acting out. it hurt me so bad. i felt so small and like i'm not doing a good job.
this has been the first time i had a parent complain about me, in the past i never had problems with parents, they all loved me they all wanted their children in my room because they loved me they always told me i did a good job. but not this parent, she thinks i don't do anything, and i am the one to blame for her children's behavior. i know its going to happen it's part of the job we can't always make everyone happy but it stinks i hate it. on top of being told that this morning, this parent texted me this afternoon asking how her kid was doing, i replied she is doing okay. even though she refuses to listen to anything i tell her, and she is always fighting with someone... as long as she isn't biting, or hitting... it's a good day so i should give her mom a good report. i also have another little one that hates to listen to me, she runs away when i ask her to put her shoes on or coat, or we have to go inside from the playground, or if i even ask her to help me clean up she refuses to listen to me.
i Have noticed she listen to the other Teachers.. both those kids do... any ideas how i can get them to listen to me?
I'm sorry! I know how you feel. I too took the 1st parent complaint VERY personal but there is some good news and bad news. Bad news ...This wont be the last complaint simply because some parents just like to complain. Good news is it may not even be about you! Around here someone has a bad day I get to deal with it because I am the 1st face they see after work.
You know you do a good job and by what I read you are a hard worker so try to let this go (i know easier said than done btdt) get some rest and take a look at all of those smiling faces in the morning. If the kids are happy and learning that's all that matters we are here for them in the long run! Giggles and smiles have been my rewards let them be yours!
sariejohnston 08:09 PM 02-01-2012
i will be talking to her Mom tomorrow Morning, i got to leave again early today so hopefully tomorrow i can talk to her Mom about it! i am actually pretty excited about tomorrow we are doing some fun sensory stuff playing with pudding, and all kinds of gooey stuff in zip lock bags of course.
hopefully they love it as much as i do lol i'm a big kid! - but i will update everyone how it goes tomorrow afternoon!! thank Goodness its my half day tomorrow!! woot
sariejohnston 10:24 AM 02-02-2012
Well i talk to the mom this morning when she dropped her kid off, i said i know you are upset about her biting and so am i, and i am trying everything i can think of to prevent it from happening and I think i came up with an idea to make her my helper through out the day maybe that will keep her busy and she wont bite... she was like that sounds great she really enjoys helping out... so we tried it out for the most part she is a great helper she loves to do things i ask her to do, but while outside this morning she took her clothes off and started running around the playground... :/ so she had to go in time out for that, then she tried to bite a new kid that started today as they were coming in from outside, i was in the playground trying to get one kid who likes to run away from me thankfully another teacher stopped her from actually biting her... her mom texted me and asked how her day is going, i told her she is a great helper, she had to sit in time out for taking cloths off outside during playtime, and she tried to bite but thankfully we caught her in time, i hope she doesn't think i wasn't watching her... i hate this! maybe i will just have to start making this child hold my hand everytime we do anything, making her have no freedom because i am scared she is going to bite one of the other kids or hit them...
countrymom 11:00 AM 02-02-2012
hmm, it sounds like this child rules the roost at home. Also, I wouldn't take it personally sounds like mom needs to blame someone and its easier to blame you than her lack of parenting.
My3cents 11:27 AM 02-02-2012
Originally Posted by sariejohnston:
Well i talk to the mom this morning when she dropped her kid off, i said i know you are upset about her biting and so am i, and i am trying everything i can think of to prevent it from happening and I think i came up with an idea to make her my helper through out the day maybe that will keep her busy and she wont bite... she was like that sounds great she really enjoys helping out... so we tried it out for the most part she is a great helper she loves to do things i ask her to do, but while outside this morning she took her clothes off and started running around the playground... :/ so she had to go in time out for that, then she tried to bite a new kid that started today as they were coming in from outside, i was in the playground trying to get one kid who likes to run away from me thankfully another teacher stopped her from actually biting her... her mom texted me and asked how her day is going, i told her she is a great helper, she had to sit in time out for taking cloths off outside during playtime, and she tried to bite but thankfully we caught her in time, i hope she doesn't think i wasn't watching her... i hate this! maybe i will just have to start making this child hold my hand everytime we do anything, making her have no freedom because i am scared she is going to bite one of the other kids or hit them...
talk to the mom and explain to her that you know she complained about you and that you wish she would have come to you first. (she seems to be able to come to you for everything else) explain that your feelings are hurt and you do everything you can for these kiddo's. Don't sit back and take it, your supervisor could be bluffing you too- get it situated face to face.