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Logged Out for Privacy 05:53 PM 03-13-2013
I am a registered user but logged out.
I need some advice.
I just enrolled a 3 year old girl. Perfect little angel. Perfect family. My issue? The parents are a female couple. Don't get me wrong. I ADORE this family. I think they are totally awesome.
Our theme of the month of family is coming up. I usually give the children books about family. Do you think it would be appropriate if I gave a book about a Mama and a Mommy? I found a lot of good books on Amazon that I would love to gift.
WWYD?
I need some advice.
I just enrolled a 3 year old girl. Perfect little angel. Perfect family. My issue? The parents are a female couple. Don't get me wrong. I ADORE this family. I think they are totally awesome.
Our theme of the month of family is coming up. I usually give the children books about family. Do you think it would be appropriate if I gave a book about a Mama and a Mommy? I found a lot of good books on Amazon that I would love to gift.
WWYD?
mrsnj 05:58 PM 03-13-2013
Hummm since this is a touchy subject, I am thinking that I would stay away from it. It is a hard decision. On one hand you want the child with two mommies to feel it is ok and their family is normal and all families are made up differently On the other hand you might be opening a door to others beliefs that you might not want.
You could maybe send a letter out talking about the book? My childrens school does this with sensitive topics. Then you will openly know if it is ok or not with everyone?
Humm interested to see other suggestions on this one........
You could maybe send a letter out talking about the book? My childrens school does this with sensitive topics. Then you will openly know if it is ok or not with everyone?
Humm interested to see other suggestions on this one........
SilverSabre25 07:05 PM 03-13-2013
blandino 07:18 PM 03-13-2013
My kids have been talking about this a lot lately. While playing dress up, they will want to get married. Some kids innocently say that "sally wants to marry jane". Undoubtedly someone will correct them and say "you need a boy and a girl to get married". And I am looked to for the answer...
I won't say "boys need to marry girls" and vice versa. At risk of offending some parents belief systems (and my own). And I know some parents would be offended if I offered up the idea that you can marry whoever you want.
My go to answer is "If you think you need a boy and a girl to get married, then play that way - and if you think two girls/two boys can get married, then play that way". It's nothing spectacular... but it serves my purposes while (hopefully) not offending anyone.
I won't say "boys need to marry girls" and vice versa. At risk of offending some parents belief systems (and my own). And I know some parents would be offended if I offered up the idea that you can marry whoever you want.
My go to answer is "If you think you need a boy and a girl to get married, then play that way - and if you think two girls/two boys can get married, then play that way". It's nothing spectacular... but it serves my purposes while (hopefully) not offending anyone.
Willow 07:26 PM 03-13-2013
Maybe change it up and have them create their own books about family instead of gifting each child with one?
Provide them paper to create all kinds of pages about their parents, pets, extended family, daycare "family" and friends and then show them how to lace in a binding.
Provide them paper to create all kinds of pages about their parents, pets, extended family, daycare "family" and friends and then show them how to lace in a binding.
Crazy In Mo 07:33 PM 03-13-2013
Would you be giving that particular book to just that little girl or all the kids? I think that the female couple would LOVE that book and that you too the time to find that book. I wouldn't however give the Mama and Mommy book to all the kids.
Starburst 10:03 PM 03-13-2013
well you don't really have to point out how that child's family is different espesually if the family is not too open about it with other parents at you daycare also remember that the families and the children have a right to privacy and confedentiality to not be singled out. Maybe focus more on how all families are different in gerneral and how everyone themselves is different and that it's okay to be different. There is actually a book called 'its okay to be different' its really good and points out how everyone is unique.
http://www.walmart.com/ip/10764227?w...l5=pla&veh=sem
But I would probably just have the kids make a book about their own families and since they made it its even more special. Or you can try to find a book that suits each child's family. Like for that family give them that book for hetero family give them a book that fits their family for a divorced family give them a book on a kid with two home. and for a single parent family give them a book about a family with a single parent. and if they live with their grandparents/aunt/uncle give them a book about someone who lives with their grandparents/aunt/uncle (you get the idea).
http://www.walmart.com/ip/10764227?w...l5=pla&veh=sem
But I would probably just have the kids make a book about their own families and since they made it its even more special. Or you can try to find a book that suits each child's family. Like for that family give them that book for hetero family give them a book that fits their family for a divorced family give them a book on a kid with two home. and for a single parent family give them a book about a family with a single parent. and if they live with their grandparents/aunt/uncle give them a book about someone who lives with their grandparents/aunt/uncle (you get the idea).
frgsonmysox 10:24 PM 03-13-2013
Personally, I'd give the book to all families. Having two mommy's isn't wrong. NOT including this girls family into the mix because some people have backwards beliefs is not right. Some people don't agree with interracial marriage, but I sure as heck wouldn't keep a child from knowing about it just because some people can't handle the fact that families come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and genders.
Meyou 02:03 AM 03-14-2013
I would read books about all types of families. Multigenerational, stepfamilies, adopted families, blended families, traditional families and families with same sex parents.
mrsnj 02:50 AM 03-14-2013
I like that make your own book idea. Nice
Springdaze 04:31 AM 03-14-2013
I would have them make books. I wouldnt like the subject introduced at that age and even with a note, I would be uncomfortable saying my opinion. hey, my kids are almost 7 and 10 and still dont know what to tell them!
Scout 04:44 AM 03-14-2013
Originally Posted by Logged Out for Privacy:
I am a registered user but logged out.
I need some advice.
I just enrolled a 3 year old girl. Perfect little angel. Perfect family. My issue? The parents are a female couple. Don't get me wrong. I ADORE this family. I think they are totally awesome.
Our theme of the month of family is coming up. I usually give the children books about family. Do you think it would be appropriate if I gave a book about a Mama and a Mommy? I found a lot of good books on Amazon that I would love to gift.
WWYD?
If you are covering it in class I would most definately get it for her. I am sure that they will have to cover with her one day before school starts that her family is unique but, that all families are unique and that isn't a bad thing.I am a registered user but logged out.
I need some advice.
I just enrolled a 3 year old girl. Perfect little angel. Perfect family. My issue? The parents are a female couple. Don't get me wrong. I ADORE this family. I think they are totally awesome.
Our theme of the month of family is coming up. I usually give the children books about family. Do you think it would be appropriate if I gave a book about a Mama and a Mommy? I found a lot of good books on Amazon that I would love to gift.
WWYD?
Luna 04:55 AM 03-14-2013
I've done backup care for a two-mom family and we have two-mom neighbours and when I first read the post I thought this is a non-issue in my mind. While reading the responses however I can see how it could be a real hornet's nest.
I'm not sure i understand correctly, but you are gifting each child with a book? If that's the case I would gift each child a book specific to their family...even better is the idea of the children making their own book. Thinking of my own small group, there are so many different kinds of families I can't imagine one book would suit them all.
This is something I haven't given much thought to before, thank you for bringing it up.
I'm not sure i understand correctly, but you are gifting each child with a book? If that's the case I would gift each child a book specific to their family...even better is the idea of the children making their own book. Thinking of my own small group, there are so many different kinds of families I can't imagine one book would suit them all.
This is something I haven't given much thought to before, thank you for bringing it up.
CedarCreek 05:05 AM 03-14-2013
I agree with either making their own books or doing a book about all types of families.
Whether anyone feels that its right or wrong that some kids have 2 mommies doesn't really matter.
Its just a fact.
Whether anyone feels that its right or wrong that some kids have 2 mommies doesn't really matter.
Its just a fact.
SquirrellyMama 07:13 AM 03-14-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
I agree with either making their own books or doing a book about all types of families.
Whether anyone feels that its right or wrong that some kids have 2 mommies doesn't really matter.
Its just a fact.
It is a fact but it does matter what people think. I believe that parents should be given the option to be the ones to discuss this with their kids first. I'm not sure if there is a way for you to do that or not. I agree with either making their own books or doing a book about all types of families.
Whether anyone feels that its right or wrong that some kids have 2 mommies doesn't really matter.
Its just a fact.
ETA: I don't think kids should be able to spout off hatred either but just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean they are wrong. I believe we are all entitled to our opinions. It all depends on how they express it.
K
Luna 07:26 AM 03-14-2013
You wouldn't necessarily have to talk about what people think or whether anyone believes its right or wrong. It just is. My family includes a mom, a dad, my sister, and me. My friend's family includes a mom, mom's new husband, two brothers, a dad, a stepsister and her. My other friend's family includes two moms, and her. Another friend's family includes a dad and her. Another includes mom, dad, grandma and him. No matter what anyone thinks is wrong or right, that's just the way it is. It's just "this is who is in my family"
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
Willow 07:29 AM 03-14-2013
Originally Posted by Luna:
You wouldn't necessarily have to talk about what people think or whether anyone believes its right or wrong. It just is. My family includes a mom, a dad, my sister, and me. My friend's family includes a mom, mom's new husband, two brothers, a dad, a stepsister and her. My other friend's family includes two moms, and her. Another friend's family includes a dad and her. Another includes mom, dad, grandma and him. No matter what anyone thinks is wrong or right, that's just the way it is. It's just "this is who is in my family"
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
You wouldn't necessarily have to talk about what people think or whether anyone believes its right or wrong. It just is. My family includes a mom, a dad, my sister, and me. My friend's family includes a mom, mom's new husband, two brothers, a dad, a stepsister and her. My other friend's family includes two moms, and her. Another friend's family includes a dad and her. Another includes mom, dad, grandma and him. No matter what anyone thinks is wrong or right, that's just the way it is. It's just "this is who is in my family"
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
CedarCreek 07:33 AM 03-14-2013
Originally Posted by Luna:
You wouldn't necessarily have to talk about what people think or whether anyone believes its right or wrong. It just is. My family includes a mom, a dad, my sister, and me. My friend's family includes a mom, mom's new husband, two brothers, a dad, a stepsister and her. My other friend's family includes two moms, and her. Another friend's family includes a dad and her. Another includes mom, dad, grandma and him. No matter what anyone thinks is wrong or right, that's just the way it is. It's just "this is who is in my family"
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
Yes. This explains what I meant better.You wouldn't necessarily have to talk about what people think or whether anyone believes its right or wrong. It just is. My family includes a mom, a dad, my sister, and me. My friend's family includes a mom, mom's new husband, two brothers, a dad, a stepsister and her. My other friend's family includes two moms, and her. Another friend's family includes a dad and her. Another includes mom, dad, grandma and him. No matter what anyone thinks is wrong or right, that's just the way it is. It's just "this is who is in my family"
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
SquirrellyMama 07:43 AM 03-14-2013
Originally Posted by Luna:
You wouldn't necessarily have to talk about what people think or whether anyone believes its right or wrong. It just is. My family includes a mom, a dad, my sister, and me. My friend's family includes a mom, mom's new husband, two brothers, a dad, a stepsister and her. My other friend's family includes two moms, and her. Another friend's family includes a dad and her. Another includes mom, dad, grandma and him. No matter what anyone thinks is wrong or right, that's just the way it is. It's just "this is who is in my family"
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
I understand what you are saying and I agree that no opinions need to be shared. But, I still think that parents need to be the first ones to bring up this situation if they want to. If they don't care then it isn't an issue. You wouldn't necessarily have to talk about what people think or whether anyone believes its right or wrong. It just is. My family includes a mom, a dad, my sister, and me. My friend's family includes a mom, mom's new husband, two brothers, a dad, a stepsister and her. My other friend's family includes two moms, and her. Another friend's family includes a dad and her. Another includes mom, dad, grandma and him. No matter what anyone thinks is wrong or right, that's just the way it is. It's just "this is who is in my family"
Do you ask families to bring up the subject of single parent families? Or blended families?
As far as single parents/blended families go I'm not sure it would be a problem or not. Again, I was the first person to discuss these families with my kids but those are also not hot issues.
K
itlw8 07:47 AM 03-14-2013
I would get each book that fits their family my dgd does not have a mom involved in her life state order..... so the school had muffins with mom.... great except she has no mom... so ds went with her but they ate breakfast together in the cafeteria worked great but it could have been a big problem. donuts with dad is coming up and I see it causing problems for some kids.
I would talk about families and all are different some have a mom some a dad some live with grandparents and then buy a book to take home that fits their family I would also have them make a book and have them bring pictures in to put in the book. Laminate it if you can if not ,sheet protectors.
I would talk about families and all are different some have a mom some a dad some live with grandparents and then buy a book to take home that fits their family I would also have them make a book and have them bring pictures in to put in the book. Laminate it if you can if not ,sheet protectors.
Blackcat31 07:48 AM 03-14-2013
Originally Posted by SquirrellyMama:
I understand what you are saying and I agree that no opinions need to be shared. But, I still think that parents need to be the first ones to bring up this situation if they want to. If they don't care then it isn't an issue. As far as single parents/blended families go I'm not sure it would be a problem or not.
Again, I was the first person to discuss these families with my kids but those are also not hot issues.
K
K
How would YOU go about letting the other parents know (so they can discuss it at home first) that you have a family enrolled that has two moms? I understand what you are saying and I agree that no opinions need to be shared. But, I still think that parents need to be the first ones to bring up this situation if they want to. If they don't care then it isn't an issue. As far as single parents/blended families go I'm not sure it would be a problem or not.
Again, I was the first person to discuss these families with my kids but those are also not hot issues.
K
K
IMHO, that would go against any confidentiality agreement each family has with you.
For example, do you mention to all your families that you have kids in care with no fathers in the picture or families with one mom and multiple dads? How about adopted parents? Do you tell other families that a DCK lives with his grandmother and not his parents?
How would you give other families the opportunity to discuss different family make-ups ahead of time so that they can always be the ones to discuss these things with their child first?
The other situations (blended families etc) may not be hot issues for you, but how do you know they aren't issues for others...kwim?
SquirrellyMama 08:02 AM 03-14-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
How would YOU go about letting the other parents know (so they can discuss it at home first) that you have a family enrolled that has two moms?
IMHO, that would go against any confidentiality agreement each family has with you.
For example, do you mention to all your families that you have kids in care with no fathers in the picture or families with one mom and multiple dads? How about adopted parents? Do you tell other families that a DCK lives with his grandmother and not his parents?
How would you give other families the opportunity to discuss different family make-ups ahead of time so that they can always be the ones to discuss these things with their child first?
The other situations (blended families etc) may not be hot issues for you, but how do you know they aren't issues for others...kwim?
I would maybe just send out a letter saying that we are going to be talking about families next week and that includes all types of families. You could then make an inclusive list and let the parents decide what they are going to do. That would also give parents the opportunity to talk about single parent/blended families. This same thing could be done with a unit talking about religion.How would YOU go about letting the other parents know (so they can discuss it at home first) that you have a family enrolled that has two moms?
IMHO, that would go against any confidentiality agreement each family has with you.
For example, do you mention to all your families that you have kids in care with no fathers in the picture or families with one mom and multiple dads? How about adopted parents? Do you tell other families that a DCK lives with his grandmother and not his parents?
How would you give other families the opportunity to discuss different family make-ups ahead of time so that they can always be the ones to discuss these things with their child first?
The other situations (blended families etc) may not be hot issues for you, but how do you know they aren't issues for others...kwim?
ETA- It is also maybe not possible to do this in a daycare setting or public school setting. The only time I had to deal with a sensitive subject that was explained to my son before I could, I made sure I let the person know that I wanted a heads up next time.
K
itlw8 08:14 AM 03-14-2013
The child is 3 the others are going to see very soon she has 2 moms. They will likely just accept it. That is what kids do. They parents may soon ask and you just say yes.Her mommies are Sally and Sue have you met them yet?
momofsix 08:28 AM 03-14-2013
Does this really need to be an issue?
When learning about families with preschoolers I don't think we really need to focus on who individually makes up each family. No matter what the family looks like there are some things that (hopefully) are common to ALL families.
families love eachother
families have special traditions/celebrations
family members help eachother
family members do things together
and in and on and on...
There are a TON of family themed things that don't specifically say mom and dad where it can't just be changed to parent/s.
When learning about families with preschoolers I don't think we really need to focus on who individually makes up each family. No matter what the family looks like there are some things that (hopefully) are common to ALL families.
families love eachother
families have special traditions/celebrations
family members help eachother
family members do things together
and in and on and on...
There are a TON of family themed things that don't specifically say mom and dad where it can't just be changed to parent/s.
Jewels 08:39 AM 03-14-2013
I have not read the other posts, but I would only give that book to them, and give differnt ones to everyone else, I personally am cool with the way people live their lives, I support gay's, but I would never read that book to my 3 year old who I believe is two young to understand, I would throw it away, someday when my kids are older, we can talk about stuff like this. I say seperate books.
MotherNature 08:48 AM 03-14-2013
Why not find a book that discusses several different types of family? Same sex, hetero, grandparents/extended, etc..
YHD2013 11:58 AM 03-14-2013
That is a tough one. Since there are so, so many people against certain lifestyles I can see how this would be a hot issue. And I am not really sure how to handle it. When I nannied (in a very liberal neighborhood) I know that when they had family week at my charges preschool they had the kids talk about their families. There was a letter sent home asking kids to bring in a picture of their family that they drew themselves. My charge included me in the picture along with his brother, and parents and grandparents. To my charge (then 3) it was simple those were all the people who loved him. So maybe you could do that? Then just let questions arise? Wether or not you agree with fact that 2 men or 2 women should marry or have kids together, the fact of the matter is this little girl has 2 moms. So, it is a FACT not an opinion.... Maybe just say "some people have 2 mommies, some have 2 daddies, some have 1 mommy and 1 daddy, and some just have 1 mommy or 1 daddy" or something along those lines? That way you are not giving your opinion. Just facts. I dunno.... just an idea
itlw8 06:07 PM 03-14-2013
This reminds me dgs age 3 said to me this week " you are my family. yes I said... he then said Daddy sissy uncle J Aunt P Shadow ( our dog) Grandpa are all my family..... That is right I said..... He then said we are all stuck like glue We stay together because you love me. pretty much sums up a family smart kid. stuck like glue.
frgsonmysox 07:02 PM 03-14-2013
When you treat it as a big deal, so will your kids. If your kids can understand the concept of mommy and daddy, they can understand mommy and mommy. My kids do. It's not something we've ever made a big deal about. We are matter of fact. It's a damn fact. Get your heads out of the sand and accept it.