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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Should I Charge For Death In Family?
trippingontoys 06:41 AM 03-26-2013
One of my parents dad died over the weekend and they are out of state for the week. I don't have anything in my policy about waiving fees for this reason. They are required to pay for scheduled days but I'm wondering what everyone else does in this situation. I feel bad, but its a good chunk of my paycheck.
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Blackcat31 06:44 AM 03-26-2013
Originally Posted by Rebecca:
One of my parents dad died over the weekend and they are out of state for the week. I don't have anything in my policy about waiving fees for this reason. They are required to pay for scheduled days but I'm wondering what everyone else does in this situation. I feel bad, but its a good chunk of my paycheck.
I completely understand that you feel bad but in all honesty.....this is how I make a living and feed my family.

If I gave a discount or waived fees every time some one's dad, grandpa, uncle or BIL died, I'd be in financial ruins.

You can feel bad. You can buy a card or send flowers but I wouldn't necessarily offer them rate discount.

If this was a DCK's parent who died......I would absolutely as that is a completely different story all together.
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SilverSabre25 06:47 AM 03-26-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I completely understand that you feel bad but in all honesty.....this is how I make a living and feed my family.

If I gave a discount or waived fees every time some one's dad, grandpa, uncle or BIL died, I'd be in financial ruins.

You can feel bad. You can buy a card or send flowers but I wouldn't necessarily offer them rate discount.

If this was a DCK's parent who died......I would absolutely as that is a completely different story all together.
yes, what she said.

If it makes you feel any better, at least they aren't having to pay someone else to take care of dck because presumably dck is with them....
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wdmmom 06:49 AM 03-26-2013
I had a similar situation a few years ago. Family went out of state for 3 of the 4 days the child attended daycare. I did not offer a discount. I did mail a card and offered to watch the child on Friday (not a scheduled day to attend) if they needed me to. They declined the offer.
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Willow 06:58 AM 03-26-2013
I would at the very least discount it, if not waive it completely.
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MyAngels 07:04 AM 03-26-2013
I agree with BC, I wouldn't waive the fees, especially if I could not afford to do it.
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clep 07:15 AM 03-26-2013
I would not waive the fees. My business and financial state is not based upon the life challenges of my clients. I still need to run a business and feed my family in the end.
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littlemissmuffet 07:27 AM 03-26-2013
I would charge the usual full amount.
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tenderhearts 07:30 AM 03-26-2013
This happened to me a couple of years ago as well. I didn't even think twice about not charging them. Then she asked if she had to pay and I said unfortuenlty yes, I felt really bad later thinkingmaybe I made the wrong decision and was unsympathetic, but I'm glad I did for the reasons above. I've had parents in the past that you give them a break once they think you will EVERY SINGLE time and I don't want to start that again. So I would charge.
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NeedaVaca 07:50 AM 03-26-2013
I would still charge but would send card/flowers. Depending on the situation maybe even make them a casserole or something.
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itlw8 08:08 AM 03-26-2013
most employers will pay them for 3 to 5 days funeral leave . most of us work on a slim profit margine and a weeks pay means a BIG difference in the budget.
I would still charge them but send a card or flowers.
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mema 08:14 AM 03-26-2013
I would still charge the regular fee.
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mom2many 08:20 AM 03-26-2013
Originally Posted by mema:
I would still charge the regular fee.
Same here.
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Springdaze 08:22 AM 03-26-2013
only happened once so far for me and I sent a card and watched the child one day free while they were running errands. I did it "in liew" of flowers.
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originalkat 08:48 AM 03-26-2013
I have had this happen several times. I do not discount the fee. I do send a card.
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butterfly 10:12 AM 03-26-2013
I'm the odd man out - again but I wouldn't charge. I had this happen recently and I told them I wanted to give them the week for free. I did this in place of flowers, etc. I did send a card, but since the child was gone all week and due to the circumstances, I didn't charge. The parents were very appreciative and have never taken advantage of me. I think it would depend on the family though. If they are amazing at following my policies, I'm more apt to give them a break...
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Sugar Magnolia 10:14 AM 03-26-2013
Personally, I don't charge if this comes up. If the child is out for the entire week, no charge. If they are only coming one or two days, part time rate. But I can afford to do that. If you can't afford it, then charge them and don't feel bad about it.
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Meeko 12:13 PM 03-26-2013
'Coz I'm old and jaded .......I would be careful of giving away my income for every sad thing.

It hasn't happened to me, but I have a provider friend who had a client who lost their maternal grandmother.

I guess Granny didn't get the memo, because she died AGAIN a couple years later.....

My friend was fuming mad at being taken, although we laugh about now
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JenNJ 01:53 PM 03-26-2013
I do charge no matter what. I offer to keep dc children late, early or even overnight with no charge in these situations, but I cannot just NOT charge.

With 5 families, lots of relatives and friends of clients, and having those same clients for multiple years, I would lose thousands if I did not charge for funerals.
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My3cents 03:16 PM 03-26-2013
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
Personally, I don't charge if this comes up. If the child is out for the entire week, no charge. If they are only coming one or two days, part time rate. But I can afford to do that. If you can't afford it, then charge them and don't feel bad about it.
I respect this- If you can afford and want to do this more power to you and how wonderful of a gift you can give to others.

I charge, but I would probably do flowers and or card and offer to help out in anyway that I could. I also make it very clear during my interview that I need to be able to depend upon an income and no matter if the child is in attendance or not the weekly rate still applies. Now if a parent came to me and explained a hardship, I would then access the situation and go from there. Life events will happen in my life too and I can't expect and I don't expect the parent's to do special on my end of things.

I don't think either way is wrong- we all offer different services to our clients. Do what works for you and what you feel is right in your heart and what you can do. My advice is to know this and have it in your handbook,policy book etc..... and make it clear during your initial interview.

best-
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My3cents 03:19 PM 03-26-2013
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
This happened to me a couple of years ago as well. I didn't even think twice about not charging them. Then she asked if she had to pay and I said unfortuenlty yes, I felt really bad later thinkingmaybe I made the wrong decision and was unsympathetic, but I'm glad I did for the reasons above. I've had parents in the past that you give them a break once they think you will EVERY SINGLE time and I don't want to start that again. So I would charge.
This is why it is important to make it CLEAR in interviews. You can make it crystal clear and they will still ask, when they do this I don't feel bad because I know they know my policies but are just pushing. IT does make you feel bad for a whole second and then you realize you have to take care of you and what you need and the reason you do this in the first place.

Best-
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Country Kids 03:21 PM 03-26-2013
I guess you could turn it around on yourself and ask:

Would I charge if someone passed away on my side and I needed to take 3-5 days off?
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AmyKidsCo 08:19 PM 03-26-2013
The child's grandparent I'd charge. The child's parent I wouldn't charge for.

I had to close on a Friday when my grandma died and I used a paid personal day for it. The only time I don't charge is when I'm closed unexpectedly for my own illness or an emergency where I can't provide adequate care. (Like no electricity/heat in the middle of winter.)
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Starburst 10:28 PM 03-29-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I completely understand that you feel bad but in all honesty.....this is how I make a living and feed my family.

If I gave a discount or waived fees every time some one's dad, grandpa, uncle or BIL died, I'd be in financial ruins.

You can feel bad. You can buy a card or send flowers but I wouldn't necessarily offer them rate discount.

If this was a DCK's parent who died......I would absolutely as that is a completely different story all together.
At the daycare I used to work at, a DCD was hit and killed one night by a drunk driver when he was on his way home from a meeting where he counciled alcholics and drug addicts- it was called a "twist of fate" by the local newspapers because he also struggled with drug abuse and alcholism as a teenager. From what I heard the driver was driving from LA to San Fransico and she hit up every bar on the way there; the police also found an empty 6 pack of beer in the car- the driver was 3 times over the legal limit. They now have a highway sign around the area he was killed that says "Don't drink and drive, in memory of (DCD)".

Anyway DCM had to move out of the house they just bought and had to find an apartment for her and her son (who was only 3 at the time). DCB took it really hard because his daddy was his hero- he was even named after him. The daycare provider was one of the most sought after providers in the city (30+ years in business) and had one of the highest tuitions in town. DCB was full time and in her preschool program too, and this was a great daycare family that her and her daughter were really close to and she really wanted him to continue in her program so she gave him a "scholarship" so he could finish the preschool program and the mom only had to pay $100 a month for the rest of the year (there were some full time families there that paid $1200 or more a month ). Well, that was the plan anyway. After he graduated from the preschool DCM kept him in the daycare for after school (1/2 day kindergarten) and the provider felt guilt about increasing the pay even though the mom was doing much better and even making more money- but luckly he only needed care 2 or 3 time a week on average.

I think if something like that happened where it was the death of one of the parents (or an immediate family member who helped them pay for daycare) I would probably offer a discount or 'scholarship' too; but I would make it clear that it has an experation date (if they are preschoolers or will be in my preschool program the experation date would be their approximated graduation day) and after that date if they want to continue in my care a regular tuition rate will be applied.

If they needed a few days or a week off for non immediate family member than I would probably just not charge or give them a small discount for the week but after that if they want the spot they would still need to pay full price to hold the spot open.
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