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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Such a Fool Duped By DC Parents :( Need Advice Please!
Unregistered 12:35 AM 02-26-2011
I have a two year old DCB that has been in my care from 7:30 to 6:00 pm everyday since he was 6 weeks old. Dad brings him and Mom picks him up. Mom works 9:00 am to 5:30 pm. Dad just got a new job and they pleadingly asked me if I could open early, make an exception and take DCB at 6:30 am since Dad would be commuting this new long distance (leaves at 6:00 to drop of DCB at 6:15 am then to work, won't be home until 6:30 pm). I love their son, empathisized with them and their situation and made the adjustment the very next day. So for 2.5 weeks now, I have been getting up at 5:30 am (rather then 6:45 am) to accommodate this daycare family's new schedule . . . .not thinking much of it, as I understand that Dad's long commute is no picnic either.

That was until today . . . . after nap and our afternoon snack, (it was around 3:45 pm), I was walking the kids to the park when I saw Mom drive by. She stopped the car and happily greeted me, her son and the other daycare kids (through the car window). I was also happy to see her, as I always enjoy how upbeat and bubbly she is. We chatted a bit and then she said, "See you in a little bit" and continued to the end of the road (her home is about 12 doors down from mine. I assumed she got to come home early, was going home to change or (?). I was actually worried that she would be waiting at my door because we would not be back from the park until around 4:15 pm. I even made a big deal out of telling her son that Mommy was getting him early today.

Well, 4:15 came and went . . . wasn't I surprised when she arrived at 6:10 pm (ten minutes late) apologizing. I asked her what had happened and why she had some so late . . . she looked at me with a confused expression. She said, "I'm only 10 minutes late and the traffic was horrible!!" "Traffic?" I said, confused as well, and continued talking , "I saw you driving home at 3:45 pm?" (It was almost a question, as I thought maybe I had dreamt the whole deal at that point) Still she looked perplexed and like I was speaking a language other then english. Finally I said,"Didn't you come home early today?" FINALLY, ding ding . . .something clicked. I saw her expression change from confusion back to her joyful self. She laughed as she said, "No, no, (ha ha ha), I didn't come home early today, (haha ha) these are now my regular hours, didn't I tell you? She did not even wait for my response but now had her complete focus on her son as she exclaimed to him that "Mommy's here!" I just stood there, not sure if I had missed the boat on this or what had happened exactly when she looked up and said, "Since John (her husband) started this new job and is leaving at 6:00 am, I spoke to my boss and was able to change my hours from 7:00 to 3:30 pm." "Isn't that great?!" Then she proceeds to say enthusiastically and with a big smile that they have been "so in sync" these last 2.5 weeks and life is not nearly as bad as she thought it was going to be with DC Dad's new schedule.

I just stood there dumbfounded!!! So, I have been getting up at 5:30 am, so he (DCB) and ONLY HE could arrive at 6:15 am (the rest of the kids start coming at 7:30) and still I continue keeping him until 6:00 pm, feeling bad for the parents and their difficult schedule and finally, not charging them a penny more! Meanwhile, DC Mom has been getting home at 3:45 to 4:00 pm everyday the last 2.5 weeks, and has been home for two hours + before PROMPTLY arriving at 6:00 pm to pick up her son. After I regained the ability to speak, I asked her why if she was getting home at 4:00 pm, did she not come pick up DCB until 6:00 pm? She said this (with her usual exuberance which I was quickly beginning to dislike), "Since I have to get up sooo early in the morning, I absolutely need those couple of hours after work to decompress, you know what I mean?! (smile)." She continued," That personal time we give to ourselves makes us much better Mommies and Wives!!!" She actually winked at me after this statement. Decompress? Personal time? Did I know what she meant? I thought I was going to start crying. Then, I was just plain pissed to say the least. I thought to myself "Yes, you are a much better Mommy. For that 1 hour daily (6-7) you actually act like the Mommy and take care of your son!!!! (I know he goes to bed at 7:00 pm)

Is this unbelievable? I was so empathetic when they pleaded for that 1.5 hour earlier start time and adjusted my hours to suit them. So they told me about Dad's new schedule but conveniently left out Mom's?!!! The poor child is with me for 12 hours per day!! Do they even care about their sweet little boy, who anxiously waits by the door, (as he is last to be picked up) and always greets Mom with the biggest, most genuine smile. All the while he is being duped just like I am. I am almost in tears writing this . . . This little guy has been in my care since 6 weeks old and knows me better then his parents. I also feel like such a fool for being so gullible, readily doing anything to help them and not even thinking of myself, my inconvenience, or possibly charging them more! I don't think they have even noticed anything that I have done for them! DC Mom did not show the slightest hint of remorse or embarrassment! It was just business as usual.

Poor little guy . . . The Dad sees DCB for 20 minutes in the morning and the Mom sees him for an hour at night. WHY HAVE CHILDREN??? Ready for the kicker? They have been struggling to get pregnant with their second, have been on numerous fertility drugs and are undergoing their first IVF next week. DC Mom is always asking that I add them to my prayers. I DO NOT GET IT!!!! What should I do??? i have already committed to this new schedule and technically they did not lie . . . they just ommitted "a not so minor" detail. I love their child with all my heart, and feel sick thinking they will just throw him in any center that has long hours, if I decide to explain how this situation is not going to work and that they are being selfish and inconsiderate. But how can I not?? I feel SO TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF and like such a fool. This is really a mattter of principle. ADVICE PLEASE!!!

Is this an acceptable level of parenting to you?? What has happened to the family unit?? I think some parents think kids are just an add-on or accessory!! Where is the sacrifice in this DC Mom's life? Now I finally understand why she is so chipper everyday!!! She has no idea what she has and is missing! Selfish does not begin to describe her in my opinion.
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Tags:charging, late fee
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