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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Private Parts...Names?
lvt77 02:02 PM 02-01-2011
Ugh is it Friday yet?
So I had a situation today where a DCB age 3.5 told me “my hehowoo hurts really bad”??? I was like what, can you show me what you are talking about? So DCB walks me into the bathroom and says my “hehowoo” I have no clue what this child is talking about, so I started naming body parts. Turns out his Penis hurts . I call mom and tell her what is going on. She decided to leave him for the rest of the day because he would only be here for another 2 hours. No other symptoms were present.
I get a call from the mom about 20 min ago, she is yelling at me with rage. She is mad because I told the DCB that his “hehowoo” was called a penis and that is wrong, completely wrong of me to tell a 3.5 year old that. Turns out that he has a UTI. I was not too sure what to say to the mom….
The question is am I wrong, what words do you use? Or what should I have done?
So I had a situation today where a DCB age 3.5 told me “my hehowoo hurts really bad”??? I was like what, can you show me what you are talking about? So DCB walks me into the bathroom and says my “hehowoo” I have no clue what this child is talking about, so I started naming body parts. Turns out his Penis hurts . I call mom and tell her what is going on. She decided to leave him for the rest of the day because he would only be here for another 2 hours. No other symptoms were present.
I get a call from the mom about 20 min ago, she is yelling at me with rage. She is mad because I told the DCB that his “hehowoo” was called a penis and that is wrong, completely wrong of me to tell a 3.5 year old that. Turns out that he has a UTI. I was not too sure what to say to the mom….
The question is am I wrong, what words do you use? Or what should I have done?
DCMomOf3 02:06 PM 02-01-2011
I call boy parts penises or privates. i don't know what I want to call girl parts so I just say privates. baby words bother me.
at 3.5 I think it's fine he knows the real word,
at 3.5 I think it's fine he knows the real word,
kendallina 02:07 PM 02-01-2011
A penis is a penis and there is nothing wrong with calling it that. I don't think you did anything wrong at all!
Although in my house with my DD we call her parts "lady parts".
Not that we avoid the word vagina on purpose but the actual correct term for the outside lady parts is vulva and I don't like that word. 
Although in my house with my DD we call her parts "lady parts".
Not that we avoid the word vagina on purpose but the actual correct term for the outside lady parts is vulva and I don't like that word.
MamaBear 02:10 PM 02-01-2011
That mom is wackoh! 3.5 is totally old enough to learn the "real" word for his parts. What a weirdoh!
Abigail 02:19 PM 02-01-2011
I would not know what to say either. I guess I would call it private parts too because the parents can have "the discussion" with them and decide what to call it I guess. In the end they'll learn it when they grow up. I guess if you're still upset about her calling you and yelling I would mention it to your licensure and ask what they would have called it?
SilverSabre25 02:25 PM 02-01-2011
As a whole, I use "boy parts" and "girl parts". I have started discussing the more "clinical" terms with my DD (3 yo) when it comes up (mostly penis/vagina), but she mostly sticks with boy/girl parts right now. The term is clear and anyone who hears it can know what it means.
I am fully, totally, 100% against "cutesy" names for body parts. I heard (read on a message board) a story a few years ago on the subject. It seems that there was a preschool teacher with a little boy in her class, and one day, the little boy told her that "grandpa was over and he was petting my puppy." The teacher assumed, naturally, that the family had gotten a dog. She told the boy, "oh, that's nice, dear!" and went on with what they were doing. The boy mentioned grandpa coming over and petting his puppy off and on over several weeks, and one day the teacher happened to ask the mom how things were going with their new dog. The mom couldn't figure out what the teacher was talking about since they didn't have a dog. The teacher told the mom what the boy had been saying, about grandpa petting his puppy, and her heart sank as the look of horror and realization dawned on the mom's face.
I don't remember what the source was for the original story...but it stuck with me pretty clearly. Cutesy names are NOT okay. There is NOTHING wrong with knowing the real names, or at least something that's reasonably close to it (I can't bring myself to refer to it as a "vulva" for example
)
I am fully, totally, 100% against "cutesy" names for body parts. I heard (read on a message board) a story a few years ago on the subject. It seems that there was a preschool teacher with a little boy in her class, and one day, the little boy told her that "grandpa was over and he was petting my puppy." The teacher assumed, naturally, that the family had gotten a dog. She told the boy, "oh, that's nice, dear!" and went on with what they were doing. The boy mentioned grandpa coming over and petting his puppy off and on over several weeks, and one day the teacher happened to ask the mom how things were going with their new dog. The mom couldn't figure out what the teacher was talking about since they didn't have a dog. The teacher told the mom what the boy had been saying, about grandpa petting his puppy, and her heart sank as the look of horror and realization dawned on the mom's face.
I don't remember what the source was for the original story...but it stuck with me pretty clearly. Cutesy names are NOT okay. There is NOTHING wrong with knowing the real names, or at least something that's reasonably close to it (I can't bring myself to refer to it as a "vulva" for example
)
Blackcat31 02:32 PM 02-01-2011
... I have a 3 yr old who insists on saying "pecker". 
No amount of talking, correcting or discussion has curbed this. Mom says the same term (openly and loudly)...so I give up......
We all just say privates and leave it at that.
No amount of talking, correcting or discussion has curbed this. Mom says the same term (openly and loudly)...so I give up......We all just say privates and leave it at that.
Stacy214 02:37 PM 02-01-2011
Yep, here it's a penis (or private) but nothing else and no baby cute names....That just has always drove me nuts. My Mom raised me with my "Petunia" or "Sunflower" hahaha, UGH! Then I swore my own children would know the real name of their body parts lol.
That Mom is just another weird one....I would have been speechless too.
That Mom is just another weird one....I would have been speechless too.
missnikki 03:00 PM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I am fully, totally, 100% against "cutesy" names for body parts. I heard (read on a message board) a story a few years ago on the subject. It seems that there was a preschool teacher with a little boy in her class, and one day, the little boy told her that "grandpa was over and he was petting my puppy." The teacher assumed, naturally, that the family had gotten a dog. She told the boy, "oh, that's nice, dear!" and went on with what they were doing. The boy mentioned grandpa coming over and petting his puppy off and on over several weeks, and one day the teacher happened to ask the mom how things were going with their new dog. The mom couldn't figure out what the teacher was talking about since they didn't have a dog. The teacher told the mom what the boy had been saying, about grandpa petting his puppy, and her heart sank as the look of horror and realization dawned on the mom's face.
How disturbing. I has a sad now.I am fully, totally, 100% against "cutesy" names for body parts. I heard (read on a message board) a story a few years ago on the subject. It seems that there was a preschool teacher with a little boy in her class, and one day, the little boy told her that "grandpa was over and he was petting my puppy." The teacher assumed, naturally, that the family had gotten a dog. She told the boy, "oh, that's nice, dear!" and went on with what they were doing. The boy mentioned grandpa coming over and petting his puppy off and on over several weeks, and one day the teacher happened to ask the mom how things were going with their new dog. The mom couldn't figure out what the teacher was talking about since they didn't have a dog. The teacher told the mom what the boy had been saying, about grandpa petting his puppy, and her heart sank as the look of horror and realization dawned on the mom's face.
KEG123 03:16 PM 02-01-2011
Dude, seriously?!?! A penis is a penis. Children should know the real names of body parts.
lvt77 03:28 PM 02-01-2011
lmao I love that you said dude...I grew up on the beach my whole life and moved north 3 years ago away from the beach. I say dude all the time and people look at me strange...
Thank you... I bet the doc called it a penis and I bet the mom didnt say anything to him....ugh
Thank you... I bet the doc called it a penis and I bet the mom didnt say anything to him....ugh
lvt77 03:30 PM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
As a whole, I use "boy parts" and "girl parts". I have started discussing the more "clinical" terms with my DD (3 yo) when it comes up (mostly penis/vagina), but she mostly sticks with boy/girl parts right now. The term is clear and anyone who hears it can know what it means.
I am fully, totally, 100% against "cutesy" names for body parts. I heard (read on a message board) a story a few years ago on the subject. It seems that there was a preschool teacher with a little boy in her class, and one day, the little boy told her that "grandpa was over and he was petting my puppy." The teacher assumed, naturally, that the family had gotten a dog. She told the boy, "oh, that's nice, dear!" and went on with what they were doing. The boy mentioned grandpa coming over and petting his puppy off and on over several weeks, and one day the teacher happened to ask the mom how things were going with their new dog. The mom couldn't figure out what the teacher was talking about since they didn't have a dog. The teacher told the mom what the boy had been saying, about grandpa petting his puppy, and her heart sank as the look of horror and realization dawned on the mom's face.
I don't remember what the source was for the original story...but it stuck with me pretty clearly. Cutesy names are NOT okay. There is NOTHING wrong with knowing the real names, or at least something that's reasonably close to it (I can't bring myself to refer to it as a "vulva" for example)
OMG I feel sick........that is so sad, see this is why kids need to know the names of their private parts. I agree that some words sound rather brash, but in the end we cant keep it a secret forever.As a whole, I use "boy parts" and "girl parts". I have started discussing the more "clinical" terms with my DD (3 yo) when it comes up (mostly penis/vagina), but she mostly sticks with boy/girl parts right now. The term is clear and anyone who hears it can know what it means.
I am fully, totally, 100% against "cutesy" names for body parts. I heard (read on a message board) a story a few years ago on the subject. It seems that there was a preschool teacher with a little boy in her class, and one day, the little boy told her that "grandpa was over and he was petting my puppy." The teacher assumed, naturally, that the family had gotten a dog. She told the boy, "oh, that's nice, dear!" and went on with what they were doing. The boy mentioned grandpa coming over and petting his puppy off and on over several weeks, and one day the teacher happened to ask the mom how things were going with their new dog. The mom couldn't figure out what the teacher was talking about since they didn't have a dog. The teacher told the mom what the boy had been saying, about grandpa petting his puppy, and her heart sank as the look of horror and realization dawned on the mom's face.
I don't remember what the source was for the original story...but it stuck with me pretty clearly. Cutesy names are NOT okay. There is NOTHING wrong with knowing the real names, or at least something that's reasonably close to it (I can't bring myself to refer to it as a "vulva" for example
)
KEG123 03:42 PM 02-01-2011
I have no excuse for "dude" except that I am 23. LOL!
lvt77 03:45 PM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by KEG123:
I have no excuse for "dude" except that I am 23. LOL!
ummm Now I feel old...thanks....jk 00000000I have no excuse for "dude" except that I am 23. LOL!
Stacy214 04:57 PM 02-01-2011
I am 43!!!!!! And I say DUDE...I was raised on the beach, lol. I miss it 
momatheart 05:01 PM 02-01-2011
You did nothing wrong. I am sure the dr didn't use a baby name!
lvt77 05:04 PM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by Stacy214:
I am 43!!!!!! And I say DUDE...I was raised on the beach, lol. I miss it
Im just a few years younger and I say dude all the time..people up here dont like it...lol oh well once a beach girl always a beach girl....except now I am a white beach girl.....lolI am 43!!!!!! And I say DUDE...I was raised on the beach, lol. I miss it
AnythingsPossible 05:44 PM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by KEG123:
I have no excuse for "dude" except that I am 23. LOL!
I say "dude" all the time and I'm 33. Raised in the sticks so not sure why I'm so attached to that word I have no excuse for "dude" except that I am 23. LOL!
GretasLittleFriends 05:45 PM 02-01-2011
My 6yr old ds is rather embarrassed easily, he refers to his own body parts as his wiener and nuts. He knows that clinically they are called a penis and testicles, but those words embarrass him. My 15yr old dd has always known and used when necessary the clinical term. I suppose it will be the same for our 9mo old dd.
On a side note, I took my son to the dr to be tested for strep and he looked at the doctor when she came in and said "my uvula hurts". She said, "what's your uvula?" He said, "You know, that hangy downy thingy in the back of your throat." She seemed impressed that he was aware of his anatomy.
On a side note, I took my son to the dr to be tested for strep and he looked at the doctor when she came in and said "my uvula hurts". She said, "what's your uvula?" He said, "You know, that hangy downy thingy in the back of your throat." She seemed impressed that he was aware of his anatomy.
momofsix 06:11 PM 02-01-2011
I agree with the others, a penis is a penis. I once had a boy call it his "tail" because that's what his mom called it. Weird.
Funny story (embarrassing too)
When I was growing up we just didn't talk about anything private at all-made up words or not. When I was old enough to read I learned about my body. I friend and I were talking once and I said the word "vagina" but since I only know the word from reading I pronounced it "vageena"! We had quite a laugh over that one!
Funny story (embarrassing too)
When I was growing up we just didn't talk about anything private at all-made up words or not. When I was old enough to read I learned about my body. I friend and I were talking once and I said the word "vagina" but since I only know the word from reading I pronounced it "vageena"! We had quite a laugh over that one!
Sunny Day 06:20 PM 02-01-2011
PENIS and VAGINA! Wait....did the world just explode? Sorry, I just don't get why people are so freaked out by those terms....you're still referring to the same thing no matter what you call it so why not call it by its proper name? I've never had it come up with a daycare, but with my own little girl we always use the proper terms.
Sorry, I just don't get why people are so freaked out by those terms....you're still referring to the same thing no matter what you call it so why not call it by its proper name? I've never had it come up with a daycare, but with my own little girl we always use the proper terms.
lvt77 06:42 PM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by momofsix:
I agree with the others, a penis is a penis. I once had a boy call it his "tail" because that's what his mom called it. Weird.
Funny story (embarrassing too) When I was growing up we just didn't talk about anything private at all-made up words or not. When I was old enough to read I learned about my body. I friend and I were talking once and I said the word "vagina" but since I only know the word from reading I pronounced it "vageena"! We had quite a laugh over that one!
lol how funny.... thanks for sharing that story that was a good laugh that was much needed. I have just had one of those days that I wonder why I am doing DC...lol I really do love what I do, but I am sure you all can relate to how I feel..I agree with the others, a penis is a penis. I once had a boy call it his "tail" because that's what his mom called it. Weird.
Funny story (embarrassing too)
When I was growing up we just didn't talk about anything private at all-made up words or not. When I was old enough to read I learned about my body. I friend and I were talking once and I said the word "vagina" but since I only know the word from reading I pronounced it "vageena"! We had quite a laugh over that one!
littlemissmuffet 08:07 PM 02-01-2011
In my house the rule has been and will always be that a penis is a penis and a vagina is a vagina. End of story. If parents don't like it (and I can't imagine why any wouldn't) too bad, find another daycare.
cillybean83 08:28 PM 02-01-2011
um...just so i understand this correctly...
penis = not okay
hehowoo = perfectly acceptable...
I'm sorry but i would have had to ask mom WTF is a hehowoo...seriously
My son called it a bladder for a while when he was young because I told him that a bladder is what holds pee...i could not convince him that he penis was not a bladder. Now he's nearly 8 and it's weener and balls....blech...he knows the proper term but he's at an age where body parts are hysterical so whatever...lol
penis = not okay
hehowoo = perfectly acceptable...
I'm sorry but i would have had to ask mom WTF is a hehowoo...seriously
My son called it a bladder for a while when he was young because I told him that a bladder is what holds pee...i could not convince him that he penis was not a bladder. Now he's nearly 8 and it's weener and balls....blech...he knows the proper term but he's at an age where body parts are hysterical so whatever...lol
nannyde 03:16 AM 02-02-2011
We use "business"
The private area is the "business department"
The private area is the "business department"
DBug 03:59 AM 02-02-2011
It's a penis here too. Same as a knee is a knee and an elbow is an elbow 
For girls though, I just call it their crotch (as in, please take your hands out of your crotch
). I really have no reason to refer to their vagina, and if we're using any real terms, it's urethra (sp?).
OP, you did nothing wrong. That mom has her head in the sand, and she's not doing her kids any favours!
For girls though, I just call it their crotch (as in, please take your hands out of your crotch
). I really have no reason to refer to their vagina, and if we're using any real terms, it's urethra (sp?). OP, you did nothing wrong. That mom has her head in the sand, and she's not doing her kids any favours!
misol 06:00 AM 02-02-2011
Growing up we called them something else. I have taught my own children to say penis and vagina and those are the terms I use with the daycare kids.
I don't have a problem with parents calling it whatever they want at their home but while at my house it will be called what it is. Fortunately, there's never really much of a reason to use the words.
I don't have a problem with parents calling it whatever they want at their home but while at my house it will be called what it is. Fortunately, there's never really much of a reason to use the words.