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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not Sure About This....?
meli829 04:51 PM 09-02-2010
I had an interview with DCM who needs care for her 17 month old for two half days a week. The interview went well, I gave her all my info, the handbook, tour of the playroom etc... I hear back from her today, and she wants to meet with me again to "observe how I interact with the other daycare kids and her daughter"? Have any of you ever been asked this before? Is this normal? I don't know why, but it rubs me the wrong way that she asked that because I feel as if she doesn't trust me. She's never left her daughter in care before so I understand her apprehensiveness, but I feel like I'm auditioning. I'm not sure what to tell her. What would you do?
TGT09 04:56 PM 09-02-2010
Did her DD come to the interview? I would be a little offended if a parent asked me to do this just so you know. However, if DD didn't come to the interview then I can somewhat begin to understand. I ALWAYS (I don't know what other providers do) have them bring the children with them....if for some reason they don't want the kids to come the first time then I set up another interview for the child to attend....still with no other daycare kids. You could offer this up so she could see how you interact with HER DD.
ETA: To make it sound better to her....you could say that you don't feel comfortable having other kids there because daycare children tend to act out more if a parent is around....I actually have a form of this stated in my daycare handbook about pick-up's and drop-off's.
ETA: To make it sound better to her....you could say that you don't feel comfortable having other kids there because daycare children tend to act out more if a parent is around....I actually have a form of this stated in my daycare handbook about pick-up's and drop-off's.
meli829 04:58 PM 09-02-2010
She did bring her daughter to the interview, and the interview was quite long, so I had time to interact with her daughter which is why I'm confused as to why she wants to see how I interact with the daycare children and her daughter again.
TGT09 05:00 PM 09-02-2010
Yeah, that's odd and to be honest, I'm not sure how I'd respond. I do know it would make me highly uncomfortable and maybe even slightly annoyed. How long (time-wise) is she wanting you to do this? I would feel like I would have to take time out of my routine to engage the children even more so depending on what time she were to come. Good luck!!
meli829 05:04 PM 09-02-2010
She didn't say for how long, but I am feeling uneasy and I think I will tell her that she can come on the first day for 10 minutes max, but then she has to leave. I'm not sure how to word that though. I for sure need to be adding something to my contract though because this is the second hovering mother I've had in a week. Thankfully both dcm's are temporary (filling a spot for my permanent families) and my permanent families are great and not at all like this!
kendallina 05:06 PM 09-02-2010
Personally, I don't think it's odd at all. Coming from center-based care, any time we hired someone to be a teacher we observed them with the children first. And believe me, it was amazing sometimes to see someone who you thought was great in an interview, but was really not great with the kids.
I've also had parents (in center-based) come in and want to observe the teachers and children (with their child there). I wouldn't be offended at all and I actually think it's odd that more parents don't insist on this. She's entrusting you with her child and has never left her child with a provider before, it's a hard thing to do. I'd do it in a heartbeat for a parent. Just be yourself, it's what she wants to see. And, remember, it's not about how the other children act while she's there, it's about how you respond to those children and hers while she's there.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you!
Katy
I've also had parents (in center-based) come in and want to observe the teachers and children (with their child there). I wouldn't be offended at all and I actually think it's odd that more parents don't insist on this. She's entrusting you with her child and has never left her child with a provider before, it's a hard thing to do. I'd do it in a heartbeat for a parent. Just be yourself, it's what she wants to see. And, remember, it's not about how the other children act while she's there, it's about how you respond to those children and hers while she's there.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you!
Katy
meli829 05:24 PM 09-02-2010
I'm not a teacher though, I've been working with children my entire life in one form or another and have many many great references to attest to my ability with the children. I am thinking of writing her back and asking her for clarification on her statement and telling her that if she doesn't trust me to provide the best care for her daughter then she should find another provider. I've got a waiting list of people so I won't be losing out and I've learned to trust my gut in these situations and in general and it does not feel right to have to prove myself to this dcm.
kendallina 05:32 PM 09-02-2010
Originally Posted by meli829:
I'm not a teacher though, I've been working with children my entire life in one form or another and have many many great references to attest to my ability with the children. I am thinking of writing her back and asking her for clarification on her statement and telling her that if she doesn't trust me to provide the best care for her daughter then she should find another provider. I've got a waiting list of people so I won't be losing out and I've learned to trust my gut in these situations and in general and it does not feel right to have to prove myself to this dcm.
In child care centers, we call providers 'teachers'. I didn't mean that in a preschool sense, it was child care.I'm not a teacher though, I've been working with children my entire life in one form or another and have many many great references to attest to my ability with the children. I am thinking of writing her back and asking her for clarification on her statement and telling her that if she doesn't trust me to provide the best care for her daughter then she should find another provider. I've got a waiting list of people so I won't be losing out and I've learned to trust my gut in these situations and in general and it does not feel right to have to prove myself to this dcm.
Just my opinion, but of course you have to prove yourself for her. I think it's too bad that you don't feel comfortable doing so. You will be providing for the care and safety of her child. And I don't think it's about putting on a show. She wants to see what you do on a regular day. If a provider is not comfortable showing parents what you do day in and day out, then I wouldn't want my child there. Just my opinion, am I really the only one that sees it this way?
meli829 05:41 PM 09-02-2010
See I don't think I should have to prove myself though, I answered all of her questions, provided her with my references whom she is free to call, and any one of them would tell her that her child is in good hands and that I am who I say I am. I think if she comes into this suspicious and weary, it starts us both off on the wrong foot. I've never had a parent ask this, and I'm not sure I want to deal with that, specially since it would only be a temp family. My other families did their research, called my references, and chose to trust me with their child, but even with all the positive info pointing in my direction, she wants to 'observe' me.
kendallina 05:52 PM 09-02-2010
Originally Posted by meli829:
See I don't think I should have to prove myself though, I answered all of her questions, provided her with my references whom she is free to call, and any one of them would tell her that her child is in good hands and that I am who I say I am. I think if she comes into this suspicious and weary, it starts us both off on the wrong foot. I've never had a parent ask this, and I'm not sure I want to deal with that, specially since it would only be a temp family. My other families did their research, called my references, and chose to trust me with their child, but even with all the positive info pointing in my direction, she wants to 'observe' me.
I do understand your hesitation. One of the striking differences for me in doing home childcare vs center-based has been the lack of accountability that I have while the kids are actually here. Like, I could really say or do anything and no one would know (!) (PLEASE don't take that to mean that I think you do or say things that you shouldn't, that's NOT my intention). I am just sooo used to people observing me constantly when I was in a center- everything was out in the open, so I see it as normal. I'm sure that if you do decide to allow her to observe you, she will appreciate it and like what she sees and decide to go with you. Good luck in your decision... See I don't think I should have to prove myself though, I answered all of her questions, provided her with my references whom she is free to call, and any one of them would tell her that her child is in good hands and that I am who I say I am. I think if she comes into this suspicious and weary, it starts us both off on the wrong foot. I've never had a parent ask this, and I'm not sure I want to deal with that, specially since it would only be a temp family. My other families did their research, called my references, and chose to trust me with their child, but even with all the positive info pointing in my direction, she wants to 'observe' me.
By the way, I appreciate the calmness by which we've been able to disagree and not get mad at eachother, sometimes that's hard to do on forums
.Katy
AfterSchoolMom 05:54 PM 09-02-2010
I'd tell her that she's welcome to come and observe for "a short time", but that the daycare children, and especially her own child, will not behave the same in her presence as they would normally. I think that children show off and act out a hundred times more when there's a parent present, and the child will probably have a harder time with Mom leaving if she sticks around for a long time. I think that's why some of the more seasoned providers here have the policy that parents are free to visit, but if they do, they must take their child with them when they leave. You can also prepare her for the fact that the dck's are going to want to interact with her, so she won't be able to sit quietly and be "invisible" for observation purposes. Maybe that will scare her off. 
Personally, I'm on your side - I wouldn't want to do that either. However, I think that an open door policy is good - if you don't have one, it will have parents wondering what you're trying to hide.
Personally, I'm on your side - I wouldn't want to do that either. However, I think that an open door policy is good - if you don't have one, it will have parents wondering what you're trying to hide.
meli829 06:00 PM 09-02-2010
Thanks and I can see where you are coming from. I think I will do just that and tell her that she can come for 15-20 minutes at most and I am going to amend my contract with an open door policy with the same clause that says if they drop in, the child must leave with them after. I think that will be the best for both myself and parents, and this way maybe I can avoid these situations in the future.
caitlin 06:09 PM 09-02-2010
I definetily agree that having a parent in the house makes the kids act different. Some act out more, some become shy, for me anyway. I always feel like I am second guessing myself and things get crazy.
I would ask her to drop her child off and observe for a few minutes, and then tell her to surpise you with a pickup time that is an hour or so later, but ask her to avoid meal and nap times.
I would ask her to drop her child off and observe for a few minutes, and then tell her to surpise you with a pickup time that is an hour or so later, but ask her to avoid meal and nap times.
ninosqueridos 08:09 PM 09-02-2010
This wouldn't make me comfortable either........there is no way we could go about our normal business with a new child & parent just sitting there in the room. It just wouldn't happen with curious toddlers...at least not mine. They'd probably be bringing books to her and looking her way, not paying any attention to our normal stuff.
Lucy 08:41 PM 09-02-2010
I totally get your hesitations. But this is how I see it: YOU know you're a good provider, but she doesn't know you from Adam. Yes, she should be able to call references and have them tell her how great you were with their kid, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll "click" with HER kid. It's not your ability in child care she's concerned about as much as it is how much you enjoy her Precious One. Especially since she hasn't ever had her in Daycare. They all want us to think that their kid is the smartest, cutest, and most amazing kid ever. 
If it were me, I would tell her ok, but make her realize that her child will not act and respond the same with her there, and neither will the other kids. I would ask her to keep it brief because kids tend to get more rowdy when there's another adult there (or just when things are out of the ordinary).
I like to respect any requests from potential new customers. I understand their reluctance to leave their child with a stranger. The ones I worry about are the ones who interview me today, never interview anyone else, and at the end of the interview ask if their child can start tomorrow morning. I had a grandpa come - with the kid - and say, "I'm sure [his son] would like you and we actually need someone for the afternoon (this was 10am), so can he stay here?" It's those people I question more in my mind. Not the cautious ones.
I wish you the best in this situation. It's a slippery one for sure! Let us know how it comes out.
If it were me, I would tell her ok, but make her realize that her child will not act and respond the same with her there, and neither will the other kids. I would ask her to keep it brief because kids tend to get more rowdy when there's another adult there (or just when things are out of the ordinary).
I like to respect any requests from potential new customers. I understand their reluctance to leave their child with a stranger. The ones I worry about are the ones who interview me today, never interview anyone else, and at the end of the interview ask if their child can start tomorrow morning. I had a grandpa come - with the kid - and say, "I'm sure [his son] would like you and we actually need someone for the afternoon (this was 10am), so can he stay here?" It's those people I question more in my mind. Not the cautious ones.
I wish you the best in this situation. It's a slippery one for sure! Let us know how it comes out.
mac60 04:16 AM 09-03-2010
Originally Posted by meli829:
See I don't think I should have to prove myself though, I answered all of her questions, provided her with my references whom she is free to call, and any one of them would tell her that her child is in good hands and that I am who I say I am. I think if she comes into this suspicious and weary, it starts us both off on the wrong foot. I've never had a parent ask this, and I'm not sure I want to deal with that, specially since it would only be a temp family. My other families did their research, called my references, and chose to trust me with their child, but even with all the positive info pointing in my direction, she wants to 'observe' me.
I totally agree with you. I have never had this come up. I would simply tell her they could come at the end of your day so that you could spend a half hour of one on one time with the child, without the interruptions of your other dc kids. If that isn't good enough for her, I would simply move on. Go with your gut, she sounds like a pita mom. I know how children act when someone stops in, whether it is a neighbor, my 77 yr old mom, or a service repairman, and it isn't pretty.See I don't think I should have to prove myself though, I answered all of her questions, provided her with my references whom she is free to call, and any one of them would tell her that her child is in good hands and that I am who I say I am. I think if she comes into this suspicious and weary, it starts us both off on the wrong foot. I've never had a parent ask this, and I'm not sure I want to deal with that, specially since it would only be a temp family. My other families did their research, called my references, and chose to trust me with their child, but even with all the positive info pointing in my direction, she wants to 'observe' me.
momofboys 04:33 AM 09-03-2010
Originally Posted by meli829:
See I don't think I should have to prove myself though, I answered all of her questions, provided her with my references whom she is free to call, and any one of them would tell her that her child is in good hands and that I am who I say I am. I think if she comes into this suspicious and weary, it starts us both off on the wrong foot. I've never had a parent ask this, and I'm not sure I want to deal with that, specially since it would only be a temp family. My other families did their research, called my references, and chose to trust me with their child, but even with all the positive info pointing in my direction, she wants to 'observe' me.
I can understand her wanting to be there for part of it & I might allow her to stay for 15-30 min but that would be it. Not to mention if you really were a "bad" provider or whatnot it's not as if you are going to do anything suspicious right in front of her whether she is there for 1/2 hr or 3 hours. You could tell her that if she stays you will have to put her to work saying that her presence will likely be distracting to the other children in care. I do understand her wanting to observe but staying all day or most of one day will just make it harder for her child to adjust.See I don't think I should have to prove myself though, I answered all of her questions, provided her with my references whom she is free to call, and any one of them would tell her that her child is in good hands and that I am who I say I am. I think if she comes into this suspicious and weary, it starts us both off on the wrong foot. I've never had a parent ask this, and I'm not sure I want to deal with that, specially since it would only be a temp family. My other families did their research, called my references, and chose to trust me with their child, but even with all the positive info pointing in my direction, she wants to 'observe' me.
MyAngels 06:36 AM 09-03-2010
Originally Posted by Joyce:
I like to respect any requests from potential new customers. I understand their reluctance to leave their child with a stranger. The ones I worry about are the ones who interview me today, never interview anyone else, and at the end of the interview ask if their child can start tomorrow morning. I had a grandpa come - with the kid - and say, "I'm sure [his son] would like you and we actually need someone for the afternoon (this was 10am), so can he stay here?" It's those people I question more in my mind. Not the cautious ones.
This is so true, I would much rather put any questions or concerns to rest prior to enrolling a family, as it makes for a much smoother working relationship. I always end my interviews by telling the parents that they should check out all available options for care thoroughly, and if, after they've done that, they would like me to care for their child to give me a call.I like to respect any requests from potential new customers. I understand their reluctance to leave their child with a stranger. The ones I worry about are the ones who interview me today, never interview anyone else, and at the end of the interview ask if their child can start tomorrow morning. I had a grandpa come - with the kid - and say, "I'm sure [his son] would like you and we actually need someone for the afternoon (this was 10am), so can he stay here?" It's those people I question more in my mind. Not the cautious ones.
missnikki 06:47 AM 09-03-2010
I think this is one of those things that is a necessary part of our job, and is a little annoying when someone takes us up on it, but I wouldn't hesitate to allow any potential client to observe. I would let them know that I am not available to answer their questions, and that it can't last longer than 15 minutes as it is my policy not to let strangers around the children long enough for them to get comfortable, for the safety of the kids. (or some such baloney.)
momma2girls 11:44 AM 09-03-2010
Originally Posted by mac60:
I totally agree with you. I have never had this come up. I would simply tell her they could come at the end of your day so that you could spend a half hour of one on one time with the child, without the interruptions of your other dc kids. If that isn't good enough for her, I would simply move on. Go with your gut, she sounds like a pita mom. I know how children act when someone stops in, whether it is a neighbor, my 77 yr old mom, or a service repairman, and it isn't pretty.
I have never een asked this either. I would do this same thing, after hrs. only.I totally agree with you. I have never had this come up. I would simply tell her they could come at the end of your day so that you could spend a half hour of one on one time with the child, without the interruptions of your other dc kids. If that isn't good enough for her, I would simply move on. Go with your gut, she sounds like a pita mom. I know how children act when someone stops in, whether it is a neighbor, my 77 yr old mom, or a service repairman, and it isn't pretty.
DCMomOf3 12:16 PM 09-03-2010
Originally Posted by missnikki:
I would let them know that I am not available to answer their questions, and that it can't last longer than 15 minutes as it is my policy not to let strangers around the children long enough for them to get comfortable, for the safety of the kids.
Great response and responsible answer. The parents should be greatful that you care about the kids' safety.I would let them know that I am not available to answer their questions, and that it can't last longer than 15 minutes as it is my policy not to let strangers around the children long enough for them to get comfortable, for the safety of the kids.
meli829 08:34 AM 09-04-2010
I made a decision, and replied to her e-mail saying that she could come observe for 15-20 minutes on the first day only, and that after that she was welcomed to take full advantage of my open door policy. I then told her if this was not enough, that it would be better for everyone if she found another care provider as she should have no doubts at all in my ability as a caregiver and in my ability to take great care of her daughter, and I told her there were no hard feelings, that whatever she ended up choosing would be the best decision for her. It's been two days and I've gotten no reply, so I am going to fill her spot. I've learned a lesson from this, and I have amended my contract to avoid these situations in the future. I feel much better that this is over and that she decided to move on, I feel it was the best decision as she was not a good fit for me.
safechner 09:19 AM 09-04-2010
Originally Posted by meli829:
I made a decision, and replied to her e-mail saying that she could come observe for 15-20 minutes on the first day only, and that after that she was welcomed to take full advantage of my open door policy. I then told her if this was not enough, that it would be better for everyone if she found another care provider as she should have no doubts at all in my ability as a caregiver and in my ability to take great care of her daughter, and I told her there were no hard feelings, that whatever she ended up choosing would be the best decision for her. It's been two days and I've gotten no reply, so I am going to fill her spot. I've learned a lesson from this, and I have amended my contract to avoid these situations in the future. I feel much better that this is over and that she decided to move on, I feel it was the best decision as she was not a good fit for me.
Good Job! I would do the same thing...I made a decision, and replied to her e-mail saying that she could come observe for 15-20 minutes on the first day only, and that after that she was welcomed to take full advantage of my open door policy. I then told her if this was not enough, that it would be better for everyone if she found another care provider as she should have no doubts at all in my ability as a caregiver and in my ability to take great care of her daughter, and I told her there were no hard feelings, that whatever she ended up choosing would be the best decision for her. It's been two days and I've gotten no reply, so I am going to fill her spot. I've learned a lesson from this, and I have amended my contract to avoid these situations in the future. I feel much better that this is over and that she decided to move on, I feel it was the best decision as she was not a good fit for me.
Unregistered 01:22 PM 09-04-2010
Originally Posted by Joyce:
I totally get your hesitations. But this is how I see it: YOU know you're a good provider, but she doesn't know you from Adam. Yes, she should be able to call references and have them tell her how great you were with their kid, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll "click" with HER kid. It's not your ability in child care she's concerned about as much as it is how much you enjoy her Precious One. Especially since she hasn't ever had her in Daycare. They all want us to think that their kid is the smartest, cutest, and most amazing kid ever.
If it were me, I would tell her ok, but make her realize that her child will not act and respond the same with her there, and neither will the other kids. I would ask her to keep it brief because kids tend to get more rowdy when there's another adult there (or just when things are out of the ordinary).
I like to respect any requests from potential new customers. I understand their reluctance to leave their child with a stranger.....)
Nicely said. I've been doing child care for 14 years and have had many parents make this request. I don't like it; I have never felt comfortable when being observed and the other kids do tend to act up but I do understand where these parents are coming from. I never take the request personally. Prior to starting my own child care business, I had to bring my oldest child to day care. At about the same time, I read an article about child care and the author stated, "Parents would never think to leave their wallet or car keys in the hands of a stranger but many do not hesitate to leave their children in the care of strangers." That quote has stuck with me all these years. I totally get your hesitations. But this is how I see it: YOU know you're a good provider, but she doesn't know you from Adam. Yes, she should be able to call references and have them tell her how great you were with their kid, but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll "click" with HER kid. It's not your ability in child care she's concerned about as much as it is how much you enjoy her Precious One. Especially since she hasn't ever had her in Daycare. They all want us to think that their kid is the smartest, cutest, and most amazing kid ever.
If it were me, I would tell her ok, but make her realize that her child will not act and respond the same with her there, and neither will the other kids. I would ask her to keep it brief because kids tend to get more rowdy when there's another adult there (or just when things are out of the ordinary).
I like to respect any requests from potential new customers. I understand their reluctance to leave their child with a stranger.....)
You know you are good at what you do but they don't know you at all. As far as references are concerned, as one prospective client said to me when I offered them, "No, that won't be necessary. They'll probably just tell me how wonderful you are. You're not going to give me the names of anyone who would say they didn't like you, right?" Couldn't argue with that! lol Trust has to be earned not necessarly expected from a total stranger - especialy when it comes to their kids. I have no doubt she'll be happy with what she sees and given time, she will come to trust and treasure the care you give to her child but try not to be offended if she doesn't feel total trust in you based on one interview -- no matter how long it lasted.
That said, when a potential client asks to observe, I always tell them I'd be happy to have them come with their child during craft time and that I'll need to put them to work helping out. I've only had one or two takers in all these years.
QualiTcare 10:46 PM 09-05-2010
Originally Posted by meli829:
I'm not a teacher though, I've been working with children my entire life in one form or another and have many many great references to attest to my ability with the children. I am thinking of writing her back and asking her for clarification on her statement and telling her that if she doesn't trust me to provide the best care for her daughter then she should find another provider. I've got a waiting list of people so I won't be losing out and I've learned to trust my gut in these situations and in general and it does not feel right to have to prove myself to this dcm.
you said, "i'm not a teacher though," but actually - that's not relevant. I'm not a teacher though, I've been working with children my entire life in one form or another and have many many great references to attest to my ability with the children. I am thinking of writing her back and asking her for clarification on her statement and telling her that if she doesn't trust me to provide the best care for her daughter then she should find another provider. I've got a waiting list of people so I won't be losing out and I've learned to trust my gut in these situations and in general and it does not feel right to have to prove myself to this dcm.
i DID have a choice in who my children stayed with in daycare, but in school (kindergarten and up) i didn't have a choice. kids are put in the classroom the school selects. so, a teacher might be weirded out, but a daycare provider shouldn't in my opinion.
you have to do interviews as a daycare provider (and they are interviewing you just as you interview them), but as a teacher, you aren't interviewing. school is mandatory so there's no interview required.
QualiTcare 10:51 PM 09-05-2010
Originally Posted by meli829:
I made a decision, and replied to her e-mail saying that she could come observe for 15-20 minutes on the first day only, and that after that she was welcomed to take full advantage of my open door policy. I then told her if this was not enough, that it would be better for everyone if she found another care provider as she should have no doubts at all in my ability as a caregiver and in my ability to take great care of her daughter, and I told her there were no hard feelings, that whatever she ended up choosing would be the best decision for her. It's been two days and I've gotten no reply, so I am going to fill her spot. I've learned a lesson from this, and I have amended my contract to avoid these situations in the future. I feel much better that this is over and that she decided to move on, I feel it was the best decision as she was not a good fit for me.
i think it was good to email and tell her that she could observe on day one for X amount of time and she could take advantage or the open door polcy.I made a decision, and replied to her e-mail saying that she could come observe for 15-20 minutes on the first day only, and that after that she was welcomed to take full advantage of my open door policy. I then told her if this was not enough, that it would be better for everyone if she found another care provider as she should have no doubts at all in my ability as a caregiver and in my ability to take great care of her daughter, and I told her there were no hard feelings, that whatever she ended up choosing would be the best decision for her. It's been two days and I've gotten no reply, so I am going to fill her spot. I've learned a lesson from this, and I have amended my contract to avoid these situations in the future. I feel much better that this is over and that she decided to move on, I feel it was the best decision as she was not a good fit for me.
i think if you went on to say, "if that's not enough then you should find other care, and you shouldn't have doubts in my ability..." etc. that would turn me off.
she may have taken you up on the 15-20 minutes and that'd been the end of it. the rest would make me feel like you were nervous or worried about me observing - red flag.
Former Teacher 06:26 AM 09-06-2010
I see it from the mother's side on this one. She has never left her child alone before. Me personally I would want at least 2 interviews - with and without the children. I would not be offended at all by it. She just wants to see how you act around the children and how your day goes. You can be the best provider on the planet but you will act differently knowing you are being observed by a parent. Sorry but it happens.
I use to hate it when I would be observed by a parent. Kids would go crazy, phone would ring off the hook, yadda yadda yadda...however how else would a parent know how you would respond to stressful situations. Regardless of the fact that they are causing the stress?
I would feel offended if my potential provider told me I had a time limit. Like what QualiTcare said, it would send red flags to me.
Now if this mother said she wanted to observe you for DAYS then yes I would have said something. But I am sorry I disagree with you on this
I use to hate it when I would be observed by a parent. Kids would go crazy, phone would ring off the hook, yadda yadda yadda...however how else would a parent know how you would respond to stressful situations. Regardless of the fact that they are causing the stress?
I would feel offended if my potential provider told me I had a time limit. Like what QualiTcare said, it would send red flags to me.
Now if this mother said she wanted to observe you for DAYS then yes I would have said something. But I am sorry I disagree with you on this
meli829 06:52 AM 09-06-2010
It's interesting to see the various responses and while I do not agree with some views or opinions, I appreciate them nonetheless. It may not have been what some people would have done, but it has been the best decision for me, and I am a firm believer in- what's meant to be will be. In this case I am much better off without this family and it just wasn't meant to be. I have been blessed with GREAT families and if I ever get asked this in the future, I may see it differently, and will probably respond by saying yes, but will probably still impose the time limit for time spend with the group of kids. I would have been less bothered by her observing one on one time with only her child, but as someone mentioned, for safety reasons I would not be okay with her being there for more than 15-20 mins. Different providers have different policies and any potential family will either have to deal with mine or choose another provider. I however don't see this as being a problem in the future, as I've had tons of interviews both for my daycare and in my days as a nanny, and have NEVER one been asked this. I guess this fell under first time for everything category .
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