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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Need Some "It Gets Better" Stories
deliberateliterate 07:28 AM 02-03-2015
I have a new-ish 13 month old boy. This is his 5th week. He's FT with his 3yo sister, 715 - 445.
All day long, he's pushing, hitting, pinching, grabbing faces, stealing toys, climbing EVERYTHING. I mean everything. It's compulsive with him. He walks to a chair/table/stair/person/toy, and his leg goes up to climb it.
He chews food then spits it out, throws food. Lifts his tray insert, and throws it. He's screaming/whining or moaning 75% of the time.
Diaper changes are the worst. He screams like I'm stabbing him, hits and kicks me, flails, and tries to roll away. I follow him everywhere or someone is crying. He doesn't ever smile, despite his mom telling me that he's a happy baby.
I can't term him, his family accounts for over 50% of my income. I just need someone to tell me their horror story and that it gets better. Please.
All day long, he's pushing, hitting, pinching, grabbing faces, stealing toys, climbing EVERYTHING. I mean everything. It's compulsive with him. He walks to a chair/table/stair/person/toy, and his leg goes up to climb it.
He chews food then spits it out, throws food. Lifts his tray insert, and throws it. He's screaming/whining or moaning 75% of the time.
Diaper changes are the worst. He screams like I'm stabbing him, hits and kicks me, flails, and tries to roll away. I follow him everywhere or someone is crying. He doesn't ever smile, despite his mom telling me that he's a happy baby.
I can't term him, his family accounts for over 50% of my income. I just need someone to tell me their horror story and that it gets better. Please.
Givingthemgrace 07:54 AM 02-03-2015
I haven't experienced that but I would imagine if he's good at home, he should shape up at daycare with your consistent discipline. Sorry you are going through it!
jenboo 07:54 AM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
I have a new-ish 13 month old boy. This is his 5th week. He's FT with his 3yo sister, 715 - 445.
All day long, he's pushing, hitting, pinching, grabbing faces, stealing toys, climbing EVERYTHING. I mean everything. It's compulsive with him. He walks to a chair/table/stair/person/toy, and his leg goes up to climb it.
He chews food then spits it out, throws food. Lifts his tray insert, and throws it. He's screaming/whining or moaning 75% of the time.
Diaper changes are the worst. He screams like I'm stabbing him, hits and kicks me, flails, and tries to roll away. I follow him everywhere or someone is crying. He doesn't ever smile, despite his mom telling me that he's a happy baby.
I can't term him, his family accounts for over 50% of my income. I just need someone to tell me their horror story and that it gets better. Please.
start looking for a replacement family...I have a new-ish 13 month old boy. This is his 5th week. He's FT with his 3yo sister, 715 - 445.
All day long, he's pushing, hitting, pinching, grabbing faces, stealing toys, climbing EVERYTHING. I mean everything. It's compulsive with him. He walks to a chair/table/stair/person/toy, and his leg goes up to climb it.
He chews food then spits it out, throws food. Lifts his tray insert, and throws it. He's screaming/whining or moaning 75% of the time.
Diaper changes are the worst. He screams like I'm stabbing him, hits and kicks me, flails, and tries to roll away. I follow him everywhere or someone is crying. He doesn't ever smile, despite his mom telling me that he's a happy baby.
I can't term him, his family accounts for over 50% of my income. I just need someone to tell me their horror story and that it gets better. Please.
Heidi 08:06 AM 02-03-2015
Sensory seeking?
Toddlers and Preschoolers
Make a “burrito” or “sandwich.” Firmly press on your child’s arms legs and back with pillows or make a “burrito” by rolling her up in a blanket.
Push and pull. She can push her own stroller, and a stronger child can push a stroller or cart filled with weighted objects such as groceries.
Carry that weight. Your child can wear a backpack or fanny pack filled with toys (not too heavy!).
From Sensory Smarts.com
Toddlers and Preschoolers
Make a “burrito” or “sandwich.” Firmly press on your child’s arms legs and back with pillows or make a “burrito” by rolling her up in a blanket.
Push and pull. She can push her own stroller, and a stronger child can push a stroller or cart filled with weighted objects such as groceries.
Carry that weight. Your child can wear a backpack or fanny pack filled with toys (not too heavy!).
From Sensory Smarts.com
Angelsj 08:07 AM 02-03-2015
I would just start with diaper changes, since you said these are the worst.
Hold flailing arms and legs down gently and tell him, "NO, be still."
Wait for him to relax (this might be a few minutes at first) then start to change again. If he starts back up repeat. It will work if you are consistent.
Otherwise, I would get a large play yard, and fence him off for a little while. When you can sit right there, you can start teaching him to be gentle. When you cannot be right on top of him, the other kids are safe. Make sure he has appropriate toys and a fair amount of room. It isn't a punishment, just a way to make sure everyone is safe. If you can afford the space to have one, you might get one of these.
Hold flailing arms and legs down gently and tell him, "NO, be still."
Wait for him to relax (this might be a few minutes at first) then start to change again. If he starts back up repeat. It will work if you are consistent.
Otherwise, I would get a large play yard, and fence him off for a little while. When you can sit right there, you can start teaching him to be gentle. When you cannot be right on top of him, the other kids are safe. Make sure he has appropriate toys and a fair amount of room. It isn't a punishment, just a way to make sure everyone is safe. If you can afford the space to have one, you might get one of these.
Controlled Chaos 08:10 AM 02-03-2015
1. I am always looking for replacement families, just in case. Parents get laid off, move etc. So I would be actively looking just in case it doesn't get better.
That said -
My dd is going through a rough phase she just turned 15m, and CLIMBS everythings, just started pushing. I obviously can't term her
I have been using the play yard a lot. If she can't be re directed, or I am losing my patience I plop her in there with a special box of play yard toys and let her chill there for 5-15 min, then we try again.
Diaper changes - maybe he is used to being changed standing up? Or make it more a routine - tell him you are about to do it, talk in a calm soothing voice. Ask mom what their diaper changes look like (maybe she is bribing him with candy and unintentionally sabotaging you with that expectation?
That said -
My dd is going through a rough phase she just turned 15m, and CLIMBS everythings, just started pushing. I obviously can't term her
I have been using the play yard a lot. If she can't be re directed, or I am losing my patience I plop her in there with a special box of play yard toys and let her chill there for 5-15 min, then we try again. Diaper changes - maybe he is used to being changed standing up? Or make it more a routine - tell him you are about to do it, talk in a calm soothing voice. Ask mom what their diaper changes look like (maybe she is bribing him with candy and unintentionally sabotaging you with that expectation?
daycarediva 09:38 AM 02-03-2015
I second the play yard idea. He would not be free range until he could control his aggression. As it is, he sounds like a danger to himself and others.
I would ask Mom how diaper changes and meals go at home, I highly doubt there is a much of difference between daycare behavior and home behavior with a child that young.
I would put ONE thing on his plate at a time, and if he eats it, he gets another. If he throws food or spits it out, I would wait a few before reoffering anything.
I would ask Mom how diaper changes and meals go at home, I highly doubt there is a much of difference between daycare behavior and home behavior with a child that young.
I would put ONE thing on his plate at a time, and if he eats it, he gets another. If he throws food or spits it out, I would wait a few before reoffering anything.
melilley 10:00 AM 02-03-2015
Awwwww 
I have a child who started here at 18 months. He hit, kicked, bit, pulled hair, screamed, cried, etc... I shadowed him constantly and had to have him by me all the time. I was in he**! Well, I never termed because I love mom (dumb, I know). He does take great naps though.
Well, he is still here and is almost 3 1/2. He no longer does any of those things and is tolerable to be around, for the most part. It took almost 2 years, but he FINALLY calmed down. He has his moments, but is a far cry from how he used to be!
I will say that if I ever have a child like that again, I definitely will term! I was so stressed out.
And that's my story.
So, if you can't term, it may get better down the road.
I have a child who started here at 18 months. He hit, kicked, bit, pulled hair, screamed, cried, etc... I shadowed him constantly and had to have him by me all the time. I was in he**! Well, I never termed because I love mom (dumb, I know). He does take great naps though.
Well, he is still here and is almost 3 1/2. He no longer does any of those things and is tolerable to be around, for the most part. It took almost 2 years, but he FINALLY calmed down. He has his moments, but is a far cry from how he used to be!
I will say that if I ever have a child like that again, I definitely will term! I was so stressed out.
And that's my story.
So, if you can't term, it may get better down the road.
jenboo 10:03 AM 02-03-2015
Play yards work great but make sure it's allowed by licensing. Here, children need 35 sq ft. I definitely don't have a play yard that large so I cannot use one to separate a child.
laundrymom 10:11 AM 02-03-2015
Here, he would be my shadow. He would accompany me the whole day except for my own potty breaks when he would go in a pnp. I wouldn't give him the chance to do something unacceptable. He would get praise with each good choice and be physically removed any time he needed removed. No talking. No coddling. Just moved.
If he chooses not to eat, I choose to remove him from meal. That is completely unacceptable and some one has conditioned him to believe it's allowed. My advice, if he spits out food, try again. If he spits again, take his plate. Give him a cup. If he throws cup he is telling you, in his non verbal way, that he is finished with meal. I would remove him from the meal.
For diaper changes, I would do as other poster suggested and hold him still gently and resume when he calms down.
He has been allowed to do these things. He has been taught that this is life. This is how he is supposed to act. You have to reteach him acceptable methods and reactions. It's not easy. But it is not impossible.
Hugggggs and love to you. You're going to need it.
If he chooses not to eat, I choose to remove him from meal. That is completely unacceptable and some one has conditioned him to believe it's allowed. My advice, if he spits out food, try again. If he spits again, take his plate. Give him a cup. If he throws cup he is telling you, in his non verbal way, that he is finished with meal. I would remove him from the meal.
For diaper changes, I would do as other poster suggested and hold him still gently and resume when he calms down.
He has been allowed to do these things. He has been taught that this is life. This is how he is supposed to act. You have to reteach him acceptable methods and reactions. It's not easy. But it is not impossible.
Hugggggs and love to you. You're going to need it.
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
All day long, he's pushing, hitting, pinching, grabbing faces, stealing toys, climbing EVERYTHING. I mean everything. It's compulsive with him. He walks to a chair/table/stair/person/toy, and his leg goes up to climb it.
He chews food then spits it out, throws food. Lifts his tray insert, and throws it. He's screaming/whining or moaning 75% of the time.
Diaper changes are the worst. He screams like I'm stabbing him, hits and kicks me, flails, and tries to roll away. I follow him everywhere or someone is crying. He doesn't ever smile, despite his mom telling me that he's a happy baby.
All day long, he's pushing, hitting, pinching, grabbing faces, stealing toys, climbing EVERYTHING. I mean everything. It's compulsive with him. He walks to a chair/table/stair/person/toy, and his leg goes up to climb it.
He chews food then spits it out, throws food. Lifts his tray insert, and throws it. He's screaming/whining or moaning 75% of the time.
Diaper changes are the worst. He screams like I'm stabbing him, hits and kicks me, flails, and tries to roll away. I follow him everywhere or someone is crying. He doesn't ever smile, despite his mom telling me that he's a happy baby.
deliberateliterate 10:46 AM 02-03-2015
THANK YOU everyone for your words of encouragement, advice and support.
I catch glimpses of what DCM sees, so I hope that once I get him under control, he'll be the sweet boy his mom thinks he is.
When people mention play yard, is that the same thing as a pnp? He sleeps in a pnp in the playroom, so that is definitely an option if I put some toys in there. As it is, he spends more time in his highchair than the other kids (when I'm making food, in the washroom, or changing someone else's diaper).
I kind of do the same thing as somone mentioned at meals, of only giving him one or two bites at a time. I think we are making some progress there, so I'll keep at it. One lovely thing he does that I forgot to mention is he'll take huge gulps of water, then spit it all out down his shirt. So I've even stopped giving him a cup. I just offer him some water, and hold it for him to drink.
I tried doing as suggested for his last diaper change. I usually try to speed through it, but I took my time, rubbed his belly and didn't proceed until he had stopped freaking out. It worked better than I thought it would, so I'm going to use this method.
Mom experiences the same thing as far as diaper changes. On his intro form she wrote "have fun with diaper changes"
I'm hoping the screaming/whinning/moaning thing will get better with time, because it's constant. He fights getting ready to go out, sitting in the stroller, being held, etc. It's exhausting, but I don't give in to him ever.
Thanks all
I catch glimpses of what DCM sees, so I hope that once I get him under control, he'll be the sweet boy his mom thinks he is.
When people mention play yard, is that the same thing as a pnp? He sleeps in a pnp in the playroom, so that is definitely an option if I put some toys in there. As it is, he spends more time in his highchair than the other kids (when I'm making food, in the washroom, or changing someone else's diaper).
I kind of do the same thing as somone mentioned at meals, of only giving him one or two bites at a time. I think we are making some progress there, so I'll keep at it. One lovely thing he does that I forgot to mention is he'll take huge gulps of water, then spit it all out down his shirt. So I've even stopped giving him a cup. I just offer him some water, and hold it for him to drink.
I tried doing as suggested for his last diaper change. I usually try to speed through it, but I took my time, rubbed his belly and didn't proceed until he had stopped freaking out. It worked better than I thought it would, so I'm going to use this method.
Mom experiences the same thing as far as diaper changes. On his intro form she wrote "have fun with diaper changes"
I'm hoping the screaming/whinning/moaning thing will get better with time, because it's constant. He fights getting ready to go out, sitting in the stroller, being held, etc. It's exhausting, but I don't give in to him ever.
Thanks all
Play Care 10:56 AM 02-03-2015
A play yard is bigger than a PNP and has no floor - more like a small fence. I'll try to post a pick of what I have.
Play Care 10:58 AM 02-03-2015
Controlled Chaos 10:58 AM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
THANK YOU everyone for your words of encouragement, advice and support.
I catch glimpses of what DCM sees, so I hope that once I get him under control, he'll be the sweet boy his mom thinks he is.
When people mention play yard, is that the same thing as a pnp? He sleeps in a pnp in the playroom, so that is definitely an option if I put some toys in there. As it is, he spends more time in his highchair than the other kids (when I'm making food, in the washroom, or changing someone else's diaper).
I kind of do the same thing as somone mentioned at meals, of only giving him one or two bites at a time. I think we are making some progress there, so I'll keep at it. One lovely thing he does that I forgot to mention is he'll take huge gulps of water, then spit it all out down his shirt. So I've even stopped giving him a cup. I just offer him some water, and hold it for him to drink.
I tried doing as suggested for his last diaper change. I usually try to speed through it, but I took my time, rubbed his belly and didn't proceed until he had stopped freaking out. It worked better than I thought it would, so I'm going to use this method.
Mom experiences the same thing as far as diaper changes. On his intro form she wrote "have fun with diaper changes"
I'm hoping the screaming/whinning/moaning thing will get better with time, because it's constant. He fights getting ready to go out, sitting in the stroller, being held, etc. It's exhausting, but I don't give in to him ever.
Thanks all
The pac n play is different from a play yard. http://www.target.com/p/north-states...G_4aAidM8P8HAQTHANK YOU everyone for your words of encouragement, advice and support.
I catch glimpses of what DCM sees, so I hope that once I get him under control, he'll be the sweet boy his mom thinks he is.
When people mention play yard, is that the same thing as a pnp? He sleeps in a pnp in the playroom, so that is definitely an option if I put some toys in there. As it is, he spends more time in his highchair than the other kids (when I'm making food, in the washroom, or changing someone else's diaper).
I kind of do the same thing as somone mentioned at meals, of only giving him one or two bites at a time. I think we are making some progress there, so I'll keep at it. One lovely thing he does that I forgot to mention is he'll take huge gulps of water, then spit it all out down his shirt. So I've even stopped giving him a cup. I just offer him some water, and hold it for him to drink.
I tried doing as suggested for his last diaper change. I usually try to speed through it, but I took my time, rubbed his belly and didn't proceed until he had stopped freaking out. It worked better than I thought it would, so I'm going to use this method.
Mom experiences the same thing as far as diaper changes. On his intro form she wrote "have fun with diaper changes"
I'm hoping the screaming/whinning/moaning thing will get better with time, because it's constant. He fights getting ready to go out, sitting in the stroller, being held, etc. It's exhausting, but I don't give in to him ever.
Thanks all
That is what I have. Sorry the link is weird long lol
I am allowed to have child in here as long as they still get personal interactions from me every 20 min. I wouldn't leave a kid in there that long though. I use it to fence of tables sometimes so big kids can use scissors and glue without the littles grabbing their stuff, and then as a I stated above for the toddlers gone berserk.
Unregistered 11:43 AM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Here, he would be my shadow. He would accompany me the whole day except for my own potty breaks when he would go in a pnp. I wouldn't give him the chance to do something unacceptable. He would get praise with each good choice and be physically removed any time he needed removed. No talking. No coddling. Just moved.
If he chooses not to eat, I choose to remove him from meal. That is completely unacceptable and some one has conditioned him to believe it's allowed. My advice, if he spits out food, try again. If he spits again, take his plate. Give him a cup. If he throws cup he is telling you, in his non verbal way, that he is finished with meal. I would remove him from the meal.
For diaper changes, I would do as other poster suggested and hold him still gently and resume when he calms down.
He has been allowed to do these things. He has been taught that this is life. This is how he is supposed to act. You have to reteach him acceptable methods and reactions. It's not easy. But it is not impossible.
Hugggggs and love to you. You're going to need it.
I put the pnp away because the kiddo could clear and climb out of it no problem. I know I have to seperate with tall gate if I had to go number two of something which I rarely do during daycare for fear of "that kid" doing something to another child or the child who is "the victim" really hurting "that kid". I have "that kid" in my care right now, and I think it will get better so I just keep up with the shadowing, behavior guidance, to's. The behavior guidance I don't give up on but I am noticing that the child perceives behavior guidance as an order and says "no". So I am still working on this with them. I don't know if I should act like the behavior guidance is a choice with this child or what?? I am kind of at a loss too but I know it will get better cause I have seen kids like this come around. An expert once said that sometimes it takes telling a child 500 or more times the right way to do it before you see the results.....Here, he would be my shadow. He would accompany me the whole day except for my own potty breaks when he would go in a pnp. I wouldn't give him the chance to do something unacceptable. He would get praise with each good choice and be physically removed any time he needed removed. No talking. No coddling. Just moved.
If he chooses not to eat, I choose to remove him from meal. That is completely unacceptable and some one has conditioned him to believe it's allowed. My advice, if he spits out food, try again. If he spits again, take his plate. Give him a cup. If he throws cup he is telling you, in his non verbal way, that he is finished with meal. I would remove him from the meal.
For diaper changes, I would do as other poster suggested and hold him still gently and resume when he calms down.
He has been allowed to do these things. He has been taught that this is life. This is how he is supposed to act. You have to reteach him acceptable methods and reactions. It's not easy. But it is not impossible.
Hugggggs and love to you. You're going to need it.
Heidi 12:18 PM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
See if this works! Attachment 3211
If you get it with the extentions (assuming you have room), then it meets the 35 sq ft rule. That's only 5x7! Not big enough to spend considerable amounts of time in, but better than a high chair.See if this works! Attachment 3211
jenboo 12:42 PM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by Heidi:
If you get it with the extentions (assuming you have room), then it meets the 35 sq ft rule. That's only 5x7! Not big enough to spend considerable amounts of time in, but better than a high chair.
That would work but it takes up too much space in my small room If you get it with the extentions (assuming you have room), then it meets the 35 sq ft rule. That's only 5x7! Not big enough to spend considerable amounts of time in, but better than a high chair.
Meeko 03:12 PM 02-03-2015
Many years ago I had a DCG in my care from the time she was born.
Needy, cried, nothing could make her happy. My father was staying with us one summer when she was about a year old and nicknamed her "The Poisonous Dwarf" and it stuck.
Then she turned 2. I don't know what magic happened, but she was and always will be my favorite DCK. I broke my heart when we left Oklahoma. I was sad to say goodbye to the rest of my daycare kids.....but I felt like I was leaving one of my own behind when it came to her.
We are still in regular contact with her and her family. She is married with a one year old of her own now.
Sometimes they change!!!!!!
Needy, cried, nothing could make her happy. My father was staying with us one summer when she was about a year old and nicknamed her "The Poisonous Dwarf" and it stuck.
Then she turned 2. I don't know what magic happened, but she was and always will be my favorite DCK. I broke my heart when we left Oklahoma. I was sad to say goodbye to the rest of my daycare kids.....but I felt like I was leaving one of my own behind when it came to her.
We are still in regular contact with her and her family. She is married with a one year old of her own now.
Sometimes they change!!!!!!
Unregistered 03:41 PM 02-03-2015
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Many years ago I had a DCG in my care from the time she was born.
Needy, cried, nothing could make her happy. My father was staying with us one summer when she was about a year old and nicknamed her "The Poisonous Dwarf" and it stuck.
Then she turned 2. I don't know what magic happened, but she was and always will be my favorite DCK. I broke my heart when we left Oklahoma. I was sad to say goodbye to the rest of my daycare kids.....but I felt like I was leaving one of my own behind when it came to her.
We are still in regular contact with her and her family. She is married with a one year old of her own now.
Sometimes they change!!!!!!
Sometimes you end up most attached to the ones you worked on the hardest.Many years ago I had a DCG in my care from the time she was born.
Needy, cried, nothing could make her happy. My father was staying with us one summer when she was about a year old and nicknamed her "The Poisonous Dwarf" and it stuck.
Then she turned 2. I don't know what magic happened, but she was and always will be my favorite DCK. I broke my heart when we left Oklahoma. I was sad to say goodbye to the rest of my daycare kids.....but I felt like I was leaving one of my own behind when it came to her.
We are still in regular contact with her and her family. She is married with a one year old of her own now.
Sometimes they change!!!!!!
MrsD 11:17 AM 02-13-2015
Originally Posted by melilley:
Awwwww
I have a child who started here at 18 months. He hit, kicked, bit, pulled hair, screamed, cried, etc... I shadowed him constantly and had to have him by me all the time. I was in he**! Well, I never termed because I love mom (dumb, I know). He does take great naps though.
Well, he is still here and is almost 3 1/2. He no longer does any of those things and is tolerable to be around, for the most part. It took almost 2 years, but he FINALLY calmed down. He has his moments, but is a far cry from how he used to be!
I will say that if I ever have a child like that again, I definitely will term! I was so stressed out.
And that's my story.
So, if you can't term, it may get better down the road.
TWO YEARS??? I'm scared. I'm a new provider (8 mo), I have 3 DCK plus my own 13mo & 3 teens. Awwwww
I have a child who started here at 18 months. He hit, kicked, bit, pulled hair, screamed, cried, etc... I shadowed him constantly and had to have him by me all the time. I was in he**! Well, I never termed because I love mom (dumb, I know). He does take great naps though.
Well, he is still here and is almost 3 1/2. He no longer does any of those things and is tolerable to be around, for the most part. It took almost 2 years, but he FINALLY calmed down. He has his moments, but is a far cry from how he used to be!
I will say that if I ever have a child like that again, I definitely will term! I was so stressed out.
And that's my story.
So, if you can't term, it may get better down the road.
My DCB is 17mo and for the past two months has been shoving, pulling others down, tackling, hitting, and throwing toys. I do the PnP thing but I think I may just gate him in the playroom when he starts misbehaving.
My DCGs are 13mo and 19mo. The 13mo usually cries if DCB looks at her. She's a crier anyway but she's definitely a different baby when he's not here.
The DCB and younger DCG have been here since I started. The newest member is the oldest DCG. She's here 2-3 days/wk and she pulls hair and pushes and pulls the others down.
I'm having a tough time and started doing what others have by following DCB around. If not, someone's crying. I was hoping to watch them all until they start school in 4.5yrs but I don't know that I can. Especially if they could take 2 years to grow out of this.
I have noticed it's worse when he's tired anfor the oast week he's refused to nap so afternoons are rough.
Off to finish this thread hoping for more advice. Thanks!!
melilley 11:28 AM 02-13-2015
Originally Posted by MrsD:
TWO YEARS??? I'm scared. I'm a new provider (8 mo), I have 3 DCK plus my own 13mo & 3 teens.
My DCB is 17mo and for the past two months has been shoving, pulling others down, tackling, hitting, and throwing toys. I do the PnP thing but I think I may just gate him in the playroom when he starts misbehaving.
My DCGs are 13mo and 19mo. The 13mo usually cries if DCB looks at her. She's a crier anyway but she's definitely a different baby when he's not here.
The DCB and younger DCG have been here since I started. The newest member is the oldest DCG. She's here 2-3 days/wk and she pulls hair and pushes and pulls the others down.
I'm having a tough time and started doing what others have by following DCB around. If not, someone's crying. I was hoping to watch them all until they start school in 4.5yrs but I don't know that I can. Especially if they could take 2 years to grow out of this.
I have noticed it's worse when he's tired anfor the oast week he's refused to nap so afternoons are rough.
Off to finish this thread hoping for more advice. Thanks!!
Yes, 2 years! I shadowed and kept him with me all the time. It was stressful. I'm not trying to scare you...lol, just tell my experience. I will definitely not keep a child like that again. Some providers can handle a child like that, but I'm not one of them. Not that I don't try, but it wears me down. TWO YEARS??? I'm scared. I'm a new provider (8 mo), I have 3 DCK plus my own 13mo & 3 teens.
My DCB is 17mo and for the past two months has been shoving, pulling others down, tackling, hitting, and throwing toys. I do the PnP thing but I think I may just gate him in the playroom when he starts misbehaving.
My DCGs are 13mo and 19mo. The 13mo usually cries if DCB looks at her. She's a crier anyway but she's definitely a different baby when he's not here.
The DCB and younger DCG have been here since I started. The newest member is the oldest DCG. She's here 2-3 days/wk and she pulls hair and pushes and pulls the others down.
I'm having a tough time and started doing what others have by following DCB around. If not, someone's crying. I was hoping to watch them all until they start school in 4.5yrs but I don't know that I can. Especially if they could take 2 years to grow out of this.
I have noticed it's worse when he's tired anfor the oast week he's refused to nap so afternoons are rough.
Off to finish this thread hoping for more advice. Thanks!!
Unregistered 01:24 PM 02-13-2015
I use the play yard for my infants. My Dcf's call it the kid corral, lol
Some bet better and some don't. I've experienced both. My mantra in times of stress is 'Enhance your calm'.
Some bet better and some don't. I've experienced both. My mantra in times of stress is 'Enhance your calm'.
deliberateliterate 02:29 PM 02-13-2015
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
I would just start with diaper changes, since you said these are the worst.
Hold flailing arms and legs down gently and tell him, "NO, be still."
Wait for him to relax (this might be a few minutes at first) then start to change again. If he starts back up repeat. It will work if you are consistent.
Thank you!!! I started doing following your advice at diaper changes the day I posted this, and I noticed a difference within 24 hours. Previous, I just powered through, thinking that if I made it as quick as possible he'd soon realize it wasn't anything to be pissed about. I would just start with diaper changes, since you said these are the worst.
Hold flailing arms and legs down gently and tell him, "NO, be still."
Wait for him to relax (this might be a few minutes at first) then start to change again. If he starts back up repeat. It will work if you are consistent.
Now, he'll whine as soon as I lie him on the mat, but he stops that and just stays quiet while I change him. Once in a while (like today), he reverts back to what he was, but I'm seeing a 180 degree change in diaper changes! I don't know how to thank you!!
Any advice to keep him from trying to touch himself while his diaper is off? That's the only time he gets fussy now, when I don't let him.
e.j. 02:33 PM 02-13-2015
There's never a guarantee but some of my toughest-to-deal-with kids have turned out to be my favorites. I had one when I first started doing day care who was a breastfed newborn. He wouldn't take a bottle and was absolutely miserable. Even when I finally got him to take a bottle, he'd cry and whine way more than he would smile and instead of being a "normal" cry, it sounded like, "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" which doesn't sound all that bad but trust me, after listening to it all day every day.....it really got to me!
By the end of each week, my nerves were so frayed, I felt like I was shaking both inside and out. On weekends, it would take me until Sunday night to calm myself. I would finally relax only to have it start all over again on Monday morning. Once he turned 2, it was like someone hit a switch and he became a totally different kid. I hated to see him move on to kindergarten!
I had another little one who came to me shortly after the one I just described. He was another tough baby and I was trying to figure out how to tell his mother I needed to term because I just couldn't go through that same level of stress again. I had given myself a pep talk one morning and was going to speak with her that afternoon at pick up. Before I could start the conversation, she told me about a girl's night out she had with a couple of her friends. She said me she didn't believe in psychics but since the others wanted to go to one, she went along anyway. The psychic told her that while she had been worried about her baby being in child care, she had nothing to worry about; the woman who was caring for him was very good to him and loved him very much. She told me how relieved she felt hearing that and was so happy to have me as their provider.
No way was I going to tell her I wanted to term after that! 
I figured I'd give it another month or so and term at that point if things didn't improve. I don't know why but literally, the very next day, it was like he was a different baby and I fell in love with him, too! Later, I ended up with his brother; he was an amazing baby right from the start. I can't imagine not having had either kid.
Hang in there! Sometimes they do change when you least expect it. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
By the end of each week, my nerves were so frayed, I felt like I was shaking both inside and out. On weekends, it would take me until Sunday night to calm myself. I would finally relax only to have it start all over again on Monday morning. Once he turned 2, it was like someone hit a switch and he became a totally different kid. I hated to see him move on to kindergarten!I had another little one who came to me shortly after the one I just described. He was another tough baby and I was trying to figure out how to tell his mother I needed to term because I just couldn't go through that same level of stress again. I had given myself a pep talk one morning and was going to speak with her that afternoon at pick up. Before I could start the conversation, she told me about a girl's night out she had with a couple of her friends. She said me she didn't believe in psychics but since the others wanted to go to one, she went along anyway. The psychic told her that while she had been worried about her baby being in child care, she had nothing to worry about; the woman who was caring for him was very good to him and loved him very much. She told me how relieved she felt hearing that and was so happy to have me as their provider.
No way was I going to tell her I wanted to term after that! I figured I'd give it another month or so and term at that point if things didn't improve. I don't know why but literally, the very next day, it was like he was a different baby and I fell in love with him, too! Later, I ended up with his brother; he was an amazing baby right from the start. I can't imagine not having had either kid. Hang in there! Sometimes they do change when you least expect it. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
e.j. 02:38 PM 02-13-2015
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
Any advice to keep him from trying to touch himself while his diaper is off? That's the only time he gets fussy now, when I don't let him.
I either give them a toy to hold while I change them or if they understand what I'm saying, I ask them, "Where is your hair?", "Where are your ears?", "Can you clap your hands?", etc. Anything to keep their hands busy so they can't put them where I'm trying to clean!Any advice to keep him from trying to touch himself while his diaper is off? That's the only time he gets fussy now, when I don't let him.