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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>WWYD Overprotective DCD Making Me Worry...
TaylorTots 09:40 AM 02-27-2014
I have a 10m dcg in my care that came in a month and a half ago not eating any solids. She doesn't hold a bottle, had never tried a sippy cup and was barely crawling. Her development here in the past month and a half suggests parents holding constantly (which was in line with the first couple weeks of adjustment of wanting held) and being in a pack n play or similar in past daycare. NOW she drinks primarily from a sippy, eats normal table solids for a 10 month old and is attempting to walk. DCPs have been through 2 other providers in the past. I contacted them prior to accepting DCG and they both said that parents didn't agree with their policies and left. I discussed my policies with DCPs and they have agreed to and been good at abiding by all of them. In the past month and a half of being in my daycare environment, DCD and I have struggled to meet eye to eye though. I have met him 3 times total - interview, a pick up --this was a odd pick up too as I had my MIL and DH helping during pick ups as I had to get ready for a dinner, which I did inform mom of earlier in the day -- and one time he dropped in randomly thinking he needed to pick her up when grandma already had.

Yesterday DCG lost her balance and fell into a bookcase. She had a tiny bruise on her forehead which is completely gone today. DCM communicates with me openly and often about DCD: "He's a little weird and overprotective of her, wants you to make her bottles with this bottled water as he thought the local water tasted more chlorine-y than normal." or this morning after I mentioned her fall yesterday to DCM (grandma picked up yesterday). "Yeah, DCD was freaking out and took pictures and everything..." and she rolls her eyes.

That makes me extremely uncomfortable. Is this a normal DCP reaction to a first bump at daycare? I document all incidents and this one was no different. However all my other DCPs are very realistic about a 10-18 month olds bumps as they are learning to walk and whatnot. I mean last week the 12 month old had a nosebleed from trying to run on the ceramic tile before he was able to run

WWYD in relation to DCD in this situation? I feel very uncomfortable that a DCP would be taking pictures of a regular, normal looking tiny bruise from a fall that disappeared within 18 hours of the happening. Yes, they completely have the right to protect their child of course - but it seems extreme? I may just be a little antsy as this is the first parent to react this way...
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daycarediva 09:44 AM 02-27-2014
I have never had a parent react that way, and I would feel uncomfortable with it, to say the least.

In this business, trust is key. If they don't trust me, then we cannot do business. I would say something to that affect to dcm.
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LadyPearl 10:06 AM 02-27-2014
They better get ready to take a lot of pictures then. New walkers will have more bruises on heads, knees, shins, etc!
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butterfly 10:12 AM 02-27-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I have never had a parent react that way, and I would feel uncomfortable with it, to say the least.

In this business, trust is key. If they don't trust me, then we cannot do business. I would say something to that affect to dcm.
Originally Posted by LadyPearl:
They better get ready to take a lot of pictures then. New walkers will have more bruises on heads, knees, shins, etc!

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NeedaVaca 10:33 AM 02-27-2014
Yes, it's over the top...let them know the situation works the same in reverse, I take pictures of all new bruises when they come to my house too Hope we have good cameras because over the next year there will be quite a few little bumps and bruises! That's just what happens when little ones are learning to walk and explore the surroundings...
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MarinaVanessa 11:01 AM 02-27-2014
I would make a call to DCD

"Hi Steve. I just wanted to call because I was informed that you took a picture of the bruise that Suzie got here yesterday, which by the way is completely gone today as I am sure you have noticed. I was wondering if you could shed some light on why you thought it was necessary.... (DCD's response) ... thank you for clarifying it for me.

I want to go ahead and point out that Suzie is attempting/learning to walk. Bumps and bruises are a normal part of a childs development as they build their large motor skills. Will you be recording every bump and bruise that she incurs while in daycare? (Yes). Okay, I have to be honest with you and tell you that I think that its a little excessive but I respect ypur decision. However because you will be documenting every bump and bruise I will need to do the same, you know, so that we don't get our bumps and bruises mixed up. It's a liability thing for me, I'm sure you understand. I just don't want to be blamed for every bruise. Each day when Suzie gets dropped off I will do a full wellness check and document any bumps,marks, bruises and scratches and whoever drops her off will need to sign off on it. I will also take photos. At pick up I will do the same and it will need to be signed off again. I will continue to report any falls and bruises to whoever drops off as I have always done. I'm sure you understand. "

Or something like that. The point is to bombard the parent with the overall silliness of the overreaction and they will then have to think about how hard it will be to keep Suzie from getting bruised at home and the idea of how now every single bruise will be recorded and photographed. There really is no need for all of this however because I'm always thinking about worst case scenario I would be worried about liability.

I would also think about whether I thought that going through the whole process would be worth it and contemplate terminating them. What is the purpose of his documenting the bruise? Is he going to collect photos and call licensing? Even if licensing understood that it was excessive and pointless, for me at least on CA, the report/complaint would still be in my file and potential clients would be able to access it. Even if it was dismissed my file would still show that I had the complaint and other parents may shy away from signing with me. It could still hurt my business.

I would have a really deep reflection on the situation and really put some thought into this.
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KIDZRMYBIZ 12:12 PM 02-28-2014
I had a DCD behave this same way (from the same family I usually gripe about, wouldn't you know). I did do the same thing PP suggested about checking them over and recording marks, except I didn't have them sign off on them.

After the 3rd time DCD hiked up DCG's clothing to ask about some mark at drop-off - for the record, the 1st one was from a fall AT HOME that DCM pointed out the day before (guess he didn't know), the 2nd looked like she was scratching at a tag (not even scabbed so did not happen with me 14 hours or more ago), and the 3rd looked like imprints from the seatbelt that morning - so I told him I would be looking both kids over and recording at the beginning and end of the day. I did do that, and it shut him up...about that, anyway!
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TwinKristi 12:25 PM 02-28-2014
I had a DCM call me after hours asking about a bump on DCB's head, also about 12mos old and learning to walk. DCD picked him up early and she wasn't home until about 3hrs later. I guess DCD said he didn't know how it happened and it must have happened here but I KNOW he was just too scared to admit that either he didn't know how it happened or DCB got hurt while he was watching him. She was one of those over the top, controlling, anal first-time parents. I explained that I document every injury, big or small, and he did not get an injury at my home. She brought him here once after that with a HUGE bruise on his forehead. They went to look at new furniture and he whacked his head on a display coffee table. I have pics of him with that bruise too and it was bad! The one DCG I have here now who's almost 18mos has bruises on her shins, scraped on her elbows... she's just a rough and tumble kinda girl but none occurred here aside from perhaps while climbing or playing. No actual "injuries" or something.

It would make me nervous as well and I would start documenting everything!!
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DaisyMamma 01:37 PM 02-28-2014
Originally Posted by TaylorTots:
I have a 10m dcg in my care that came in a month and a half ago not eating any solids. She doesn't hold a bottle, had never tried a sippy cup and was barely crawling. Her development here in the past month and a half suggests parents holding constantly (which was in line with the first couple weeks of adjustment of wanting held) and being in a pack n play or similar in past daycare. NOW she drinks primarily from a sippy, eats normal table solids for a 10 month old and is attempting to walk. DCPs have been through 2 other providers in the past. I contacted them prior to accepting DCG and they both said that parents didn't agree with their policies and left. I discussed my policies with DCPs and they have agreed to and been good at abiding by all of them. In the past month and a half of being in my daycare environment, DCD and I have struggled to meet eye to eye though. I have met him 3 times total - interview, a pick up --this was a odd pick up too as I had my MIL and DH helping during pick ups as I had to get ready for a dinner, which I did inform mom of earlier in the day -- and one time he dropped in randomly thinking he needed to pick her up when grandma already had.

Yesterday DCG lost her balance and fell into a bookcase. She had a tiny bruise on her forehead which is completely gone today. DCM communicates with me openly and often about DCD: "He's a little weird and overprotective of her, wants you to make her bottles with this bottled water as he thought the local water tasted more chlorine-y than normal." or this morning after I mentioned her fall yesterday to DCM (grandma picked up yesterday). "Yeah, DCD was freaking out and took pictures and everything..." and she rolls her eyes.

That makes me extremely uncomfortable. Is this a normal DCP reaction to a first bump at daycare? I document all incidents and this one was no different. However all my other DCPs are very realistic about a 10-18 month olds bumps as they are learning to walk and whatnot. I mean last week the 12 month old had a nosebleed from trying to run on the ceramic tile before he was able to run

WWYD in relation to DCD in this situation? I feel very uncomfortable that a DCP would be taking pictures of a regular, normal looking tiny bruise from a fall that disappeared within 18 hours of the happening. Yes, they completely have the right to protect their child of course - but it seems extreme? I may just be a little antsy as this is the first parent to react this way...
I didn't read other responses. and to be perfectly honest I would start looking for reasons to term on a friendly note.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:09 PM 02-28-2014
I once created a bruise log for a client who wanted me to document her preschooler's every mark/bruise. I required her to do the same at home. That log never came back. I can e-mail it to you, if you would like. Just message me your e-mail address and I will send it on over.
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cheerfuldom 12:21 PM 03-01-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I once created a bruise log for a client who wanted me to document her preschooler's every mark/bruise. I required her to do the same at home. That log never came back. I can e-mail it to you, if you would like. Just message me your e-mail address and I will send it on over.
typical.

i hate to be so pessimistic but it seems like 99% of the time, when parents ask for "special" they are not wanting to contributing anything to that. so annoying. but you have the right idea in putting this back on the parent. I do that now with infant reports. The parents need to print out and bring their preferred report and as long as they provide them, I will fill them out. Never had but one parent take me up on that LOL makes my life easier though. I do that approach for a lot of things, especially potty training and other hot button topics.
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Tags:boo boo, injury prevention, injury report
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