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Parents and Guardians Forum>WWYD In The Case Of These Circumstances?
Unregistered 08:44 PM 06-20-2011
Hello, I have been a lurker here for a few months and did sign up, but for the life of me cannot figure out whatever I set up as my log in. I'll have to work on that. Anyhow, I have a 15 month old son, Charlie, who has been going to the same in home provider for the past 6 months. Prior to that, I was a SAHM. She is within walking distance from my house, and was likable and easy to communicate with, and charlie loved going each day and getting to play with his friends. However, the past couple months more 'little things' are cropping up.
Child Protective Services was called on her by a neighbor that had witnessed a preschool boy crawling around on a (non-operating) riding lawnmower alone in the backyard. Provider was up front and explained everything to me the day it happened, and the boy IS a handful, so that alone did not cause me to lose much sleep.
Another day Charlies grandma showed up mid-afternoon to pick him up for me, and provider was in the back yard gardening, and Charlie was in a chair in the front yard, with an empty sippy cup, soaked in water....which I am assuming was IN the cup at some point. He was being 'watched' by providers 13 year old daughter.
I drop him off around 10 am, and each morning one or two young school agers are in the driveway or street, alone. Provider is on the chair in the living room, where she can see out the window...usually with a Boy a few months younger than Charlie on her lap or napping.
My husband usually picks our guy up around 4, and has pulled up to see him in a BUMBO of all things....he is a fully mobile kid....while the provider is mowing the lawn.
Now for the past couple weeks, Charlie gets very anxious and clingy when we get out of the car. He never used to. He would get EXCITED! Not now. He cries, tearful, chin-quivering cries. She puts him on the couch, where I am assuming he spends most of his day...when my husband picks him up, he is either on the couch or in an excersaucer. He hasn't been in an excersaucer in forever at home...
Last Friday my hubby went to get Charlie early, around 2:30, to come spent my lunch break together. Provider is gone, kids are gone house is open and nobody home. He went to the park between her house and ours, nobody. We both tried calling and testing her for a solid hour, no answer. Asmi was having to return to work, having to idea where by baby was, I get a phone call saying they hadmbeen at Home Depot and she didn't hear he phone. She was getting garden supplies. With my kid in the car. Without my permission.
Today, provider asks my husband at pickup 'do you even have health insurance?'.....um, yeah, we do..... Then she follows that with 'well, he has a cough.'. Ok, so does every other kid in your house. He also has chronic ear infections, regular blistering diaper rash, and seizures, lady! I think a cough is sorta the least of my concerns.
The daily reports have stopped, the newsletters have stopped, but we sure get notices about her upcoming days off. Which I always pay for without complaint. We pay full time rates for 4 days of care that are a max of 6 hours a day, have never been late and we supply everything but her food program meals.
There is a major, major daycare shortage in our area (I live in Fargo, ND....on the MN border) and there is absolutely NOTHING for openings in this area. I am at a loss. I have considered just going back to staying home, but we are closing on a new house in a few weeks and wanted to try for #2 while I have my employers AWESOME health plan before I went back to being a SAHM. (my husband is a small biz owner and it's tough to insure ourselves...our cruddy insurance with my pregnancy still left us paying $12k out of pocket)
Anyway....thoughts? Advice? Offers to move here and take care of Charlie?
-Deanne
Child Protective Services was called on her by a neighbor that had witnessed a preschool boy crawling around on a (non-operating) riding lawnmower alone in the backyard. Provider was up front and explained everything to me the day it happened, and the boy IS a handful, so that alone did not cause me to lose much sleep.
Another day Charlies grandma showed up mid-afternoon to pick him up for me, and provider was in the back yard gardening, and Charlie was in a chair in the front yard, with an empty sippy cup, soaked in water....which I am assuming was IN the cup at some point. He was being 'watched' by providers 13 year old daughter.
I drop him off around 10 am, and each morning one or two young school agers are in the driveway or street, alone. Provider is on the chair in the living room, where she can see out the window...usually with a Boy a few months younger than Charlie on her lap or napping.
My husband usually picks our guy up around 4, and has pulled up to see him in a BUMBO of all things....he is a fully mobile kid....while the provider is mowing the lawn.
Now for the past couple weeks, Charlie gets very anxious and clingy when we get out of the car. He never used to. He would get EXCITED! Not now. He cries, tearful, chin-quivering cries. She puts him on the couch, where I am assuming he spends most of his day...when my husband picks him up, he is either on the couch or in an excersaucer. He hasn't been in an excersaucer in forever at home...
Last Friday my hubby went to get Charlie early, around 2:30, to come spent my lunch break together. Provider is gone, kids are gone house is open and nobody home. He went to the park between her house and ours, nobody. We both tried calling and testing her for a solid hour, no answer. Asmi was having to return to work, having to idea where by baby was, I get a phone call saying they hadmbeen at Home Depot and she didn't hear he phone. She was getting garden supplies. With my kid in the car. Without my permission.
Today, provider asks my husband at pickup 'do you even have health insurance?'.....um, yeah, we do..... Then she follows that with 'well, he has a cough.'. Ok, so does every other kid in your house. He also has chronic ear infections, regular blistering diaper rash, and seizures, lady! I think a cough is sorta the least of my concerns.
The daily reports have stopped, the newsletters have stopped, but we sure get notices about her upcoming days off. Which I always pay for without complaint. We pay full time rates for 4 days of care that are a max of 6 hours a day, have never been late and we supply everything but her food program meals.
There is a major, major daycare shortage in our area (I live in Fargo, ND....on the MN border) and there is absolutely NOTHING for openings in this area. I am at a loss. I have considered just going back to staying home, but we are closing on a new house in a few weeks and wanted to try for #2 while I have my employers AWESOME health plan before I went back to being a SAHM. (my husband is a small biz owner and it's tough to insure ourselves...our cruddy insurance with my pregnancy still left us paying $12k out of pocket)
Anyway....thoughts? Advice? Offers to move here and take care of Charlie?
-Deanne
Michael 10:29 PM 06-20-2011
Use this to get your log in information: https://www.daycare.com/forum/login.php?do=lostpw
Unregistered 10:36 PM 06-20-2011
Thank you, Michael. Also, please excuse all the weird typos up above. My iPad autocorrects to an irritating extent.
Michael 10:45 PM 06-20-2011
If you want you can just give me your email and I will send your the info.
Unregistered 10:54 PM 06-20-2011
That'd be great! Thank you! [email protected]
daycare 12:49 AM 06-21-2011
Wow! Lots of red flags
I know you say that DC is hard to come by in you area, however, I would pull my kid from that DC yesterday.
Do you have any friends or family that can help out until you find another arrangement for child care? Do you have vacation time that you could use for work to look for another daycare?
You can call your local R&R to have them give you a list of providers in your area. There may be more than you are aware of.
I would report this person. This provider is not providing proper care.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, as well as your child.
Please find another daycare for you baby.
Hopefully you will find something better very soon.
I know you say that DC is hard to come by in you area, however, I would pull my kid from that DC yesterday.
Do you have any friends or family that can help out until you find another arrangement for child care? Do you have vacation time that you could use for work to look for another daycare?
You can call your local R&R to have them give you a list of providers in your area. There may be more than you are aware of.
I would report this person. This provider is not providing proper care.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, as well as your child.
Please find another daycare for you baby.
Hopefully you will find something better very soon.
Unregistered 06:28 AM 06-21-2011
Are a house and a second child worth the safety (and possibly LIFE) of your first born child??
This lady sounds neglectful and her actions could result in a fatal accident for your child.
This lady sounds neglectful and her actions could result in a fatal accident for your child.
jen 07:40 AM 06-21-2011
Holy smokes! You need another provider, like today.
There is a provider on here from Fargo, hopefully she will see your post and can provide some resources for different care. If all else fails give notice and go to a center.
There is a provider on here from Fargo, hopefully she will see your post and can provide some resources for different care. If all else fails give notice and go to a center.
Cat Herder 08:04 AM 06-21-2011
Originally Posted by jen:
Holy smokes! You need another provider, like today.
There is a provider on here from Fargo, hopefully she will see your post and can provide some resources for different care. If all else fails give notice and go to a center.
This...Holy smokes! You need another provider, like today.
There is a provider on here from Fargo, hopefully she will see your post and can provide some resources for different care. If all else fails give notice and go to a center.
Good luck, hun.
That really is not good.
sharlan 08:34 AM 06-21-2011
I agree with the others. This provider may be the world's best, but she is not right for your family. Time to move on.
cheerfuldom 09:34 AM 06-21-2011
you HAVE to find something else. These things are not "red flags", you know full and well what is going on here and he IS being neglected. She probably knows that you have no where else to go and is obviously getting super lax on her standard of care. Start asking everyone you know for recommendations. Even another SAHM that would like to do this for you. 4 days a week at 6 hours a day is barely a part time job. Theres got to be someone who can help. I agree with a pp, do not have this second child until you get a permanent long term solution for daycare issues now. All of this is completely unacceptable. There is a ton more going on for sure, this is only the stuff you have caught and that is scary enough.
sharlan 09:56 AM 06-21-2011
Another thing I just thought of, if the neighbor called CPS, what else did she see that she didn't call on.
MamaJ 11:01 AM 06-21-2011
I would also leave, immediately. Who mows the lawn while watching children? Leaves a toddler in front while in back gardening? unacceptable.
No amount of money from me working is worth putting my child in an environment where they are neglected and unloved. If you truly can't find someone (another SAHM?), then you might just have to stay home, or find work opposite your husbands hours.
Good luck!
No amount of money from me working is worth putting my child in an environment where they are neglected and unloved. If you truly can't find someone (another SAHM?), then you might just have to stay home, or find work opposite your husbands hours.
Good luck!
Deedle 01:59 PM 06-21-2011
OP here. Thanks everybody for the feedback. I appreciate everybody's point of view. I have a tour and interview at a center I have heard raves about a week from today. Charlie will be home with dad or grandma or grandpa the three remaining days of this week.
Here is the handbook of the center we are visiting: http://www.thevillagefamily.org/file...ber%202010.pdf
I'm not sure if that will be clickable or not?
Here is the handbook of the center we are visiting: http://www.thevillagefamily.org/file...ber%202010.pdf
I'm not sure if that will be clickable or not?
Deedle 02:03 PM 06-21-2011
OpPagain.... I should have clarified, if/when #2 comes along, I will be a permanent SAHM. 
Meeko 04:52 PM 06-21-2011
Move to Utah! I'll watch him...he sounds a cutie!
Really......I agree with the above poster who suggested getting hold of your local CCRR. Or maybe you could advertise for someone to come to your home? A nanny would be more expensive, but it sounds as if you don't plan on it being a long term thing. Also call your local licensing office. They should have a list of all providers in your area too. They will also know of people who have signed up for orientation and want to get licensed to provide care. Maybe you will find a provider who is just starting up. That one's a bit iffy as you won't have references etc.....but you may get lucky and get a sweetie to provide care for your little one.
Really......I agree with the above poster who suggested getting hold of your local CCRR. Or maybe you could advertise for someone to come to your home? A nanny would be more expensive, but it sounds as if you don't plan on it being a long term thing. Also call your local licensing office. They should have a list of all providers in your area too. They will also know of people who have signed up for orientation and want to get licensed to provide care. Maybe you will find a provider who is just starting up. That one's a bit iffy as you won't have references etc.....but you may get lucky and get a sweetie to provide care for your little one.
Deedle 05:31 PM 06-21-2011
OP here, i got my account figured out! Thanks everybody for the responses, I appreciate everybody giving their views. And yes, unfortunately a new house is VERY important right now, as our current one is sold and if we don't close on our new one we wouldn't have anywhere to live, so...
Anyway, we tour and interview at a center a week from today. Between now and then, Charlie will either be home or with family.
As for baby two, the plan is to come back to being a SAHM once baby 2 arrives.
Thanks again!
Anyway, we tour and interview at a center a week from today. Between now and then, Charlie will either be home or with family.
As for baby two, the plan is to come back to being a SAHM once baby 2 arrives.
Thanks again!
jen 08:48 PM 06-21-2011
Good deal! Enjoy your new home and good luck with the Center!
sharlan 08:55 PM 06-21-2011
Have you given the current provider a two week notice? Do you have a written contract with her?
Deedle 06:25 AM 06-22-2011
I do have a contract with a 2 week notice clause...I will just tell her we are going elsewhere and drop off the last two weeks pay per the contract and call it a day.
Auntie 06:45 AM 06-22-2011
Sounds like you are handling this sitution nicely. I am glad you are choosing to pull and you are still holding up your end of the contract.
I used to live in Fargo and still have friends there however none of them are in the daycare business.
I feel bad for the other children in this woman's care.
I used to live in Fargo and still have friends there however none of them are in the daycare business.
I feel bad for the other children in this woman's care.
CheekyChick 06:57 AM 06-22-2011
The gal allows your son to be in the front yard with a child watching him? Nope.
The gal takes your child shopping without your permission. Nope.
Charlie cries at drop off and is clearly unhappy. Nope.
Pull him NOW.
The gal takes your child shopping without your permission. Nope.
Charlie cries at drop off and is clearly unhappy. Nope.
Pull him NOW.
Holladee 06:40 AM 06-25-2011
Just wondering how this turned out....
I lived in Fargo for over ten years - recently moved about an hour away.
Just wanted to let the OP know that I used to work at the daycare that she linked. There are two in town - not sure the one you were looking at, but the one I worked at was outstanding. Great teachers who have been there years - not something you see very often.
Good luck!
I lived in Fargo for over ten years - recently moved about an hour away.
Just wanted to let the OP know that I used to work at the daycare that she linked. There are two in town - not sure the one you were looking at, but the one I worked at was outstanding. Great teachers who have been there years - not something you see very often.
Good luck!
heyhun77 01:51 PM 06-25-2011
I am in Fargo and HATE that you are going through this. I cringe every time I hear of these situations knowing how tough it is to find childcare here. I will pm you with my contact information if you'd like to chat. I couldn't get the link to the handbook open but I noticed that it was the village website so I'm assuming it was for Nokomis. They are awesome but I have a thing about centers (I'm a bit biased on centers vs. in home).
Good luck with your search. Contact me if you would like to chat.
Good luck with your search. Contact me if you would like to chat.
Candyland 03:03 PM 06-26-2011
Originally Posted by Deedle:
OP here, i got my account figured out! Thanks everybody for the responses, I appreciate everybody giving their views. And yes, unfortunately a new house is VERY important right now, as our current one is sold and if we don't close on our new one we wouldn't have anywhere to live, so...
Anyway, we tour and interview at a center a week from today. Between now and then, Charlie will either be home or with family.
As for baby two, the plan is to come back to being a SAHM once baby 2 arrives.
Thanks again!
Awww - I'm so happy for Charlie! But, I'm worried about the other kids at that home. OP here, i got my account figured out! Thanks everybody for the responses, I appreciate everybody giving their views. And yes, unfortunately a new house is VERY important right now, as our current one is sold and if we don't close on our new one we wouldn't have anywhere to live, so...
Anyway, we tour and interview at a center a week from today. Between now and then, Charlie will either be home or with family.
As for baby two, the plan is to come back to being a SAHM once baby 2 arrives.
Thanks again!
Unregistered 05:50 PM 06-26-2011
I still don't think I person should have to pay to protect her child from abuse or neglect. She has violated the contract. It is void.
Unregistered 10:24 AM 06-27-2011
Originally Posted by Auntie:
Sounds like you are handling this sitution nicely. I am glad you are choosing to pull and you are still holding up your end of the contract.
I used to live in Fargo and still have friends there however none of them are in the daycare business.
I feel bad for the other children in this woman's care.
Is there anything parents can do to get out of paying her? Clearly, the provider in this particular situation isn't holding up her end of the bargain, so why are parent's required to? This is one thing I don't like about the child care contracts - there really aren't protections for parents if providers are neglectful. It really is a win/win only for the provider where they get paid regardless. These poor parents not only have to pay her but still have to find a new provider. Surely, there's go to to be some way for parents to avoid having to pay - say going to small claims court? I don't think parents should have to pay when every provider on this forum says to pull the kid.Sounds like you are handling this sitution nicely. I am glad you are choosing to pull and you are still holding up your end of the contract.
I used to live in Fargo and still have friends there however none of them are in the daycare business.
I feel bad for the other children in this woman's care.