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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OMG... This Is Freaky!
MamaBear 09:25 AM 02-07-2012
Okay... about 6 years ago when I first started doing daycare, I toured for this family at the old house I used to live in. The little boy was a TERROR! He was referred to me by a family I was working with & that mom even warned me about how this boy was a little "bad" but that the parents were nice.

He was absolutely the worst child I ever met in a daycare tour. I had just started doing daycare and at that time, I took just about anyone. The boy was 3 yrs old and was throwing blocks at my tv, throwing toys everywhere, jumping on my couch... just doing EVERYTHING bad he could possibly do & the parents would correct him AT all. I recall the parents never leaving and just making themselves at home until I just had to say tour is over - like an hour later. I would never be like that now... Now my tours are 15 minutes max, but back then I was way too nice.

Anyway - I had given them a space and couldn't sleep for several nights just stressing out about how bad that boy was and how I could get out of it. Then THANK GOD - she called me just a day before his start date and said that they decided to put the boy in a preschool that was close to her work. I was beyond happy! My husband said I was crazy for even thinking of taking him in. I was just so relieved he was not coming to my daycare.

Okay so fast forward 6 years later! She called me @ 10 months ago & left a voicemail that she was interested in daycare for her NEW baby. She was 2 months old. I deleted the message and never called her back. First because I remember how bad the boy was and how annoying the parents were and secondly I didn't want an infant that young. Well she called about 4 times that day repeatedly and didn't leave messages. I just simply didn't feel like calling her back.

Then about 5 months later she did the same thing again. I know i should have called her back to make her leave me alone, but I just didn't want to deal with it. She called repeatedly again for a few days... probably about 6 times - no messages.

Then yesterday she calls AGAIN! She leaves a message that she doesn't know why I don't call her back but she wants a space at my daycare... as if its her choice! I was going to call her back and just completely forgot. Then this morning she just called again. Now saying "I wish you'd call me back. Why won't you call me. Why don't you want to help me!"

I was on the other line with my husband who is on deployment right now and saw her # and thought oh gosh... her again. After I got off the phone like 20 minutes later, I was just about to call her back finally to say GO AWAY when all of a sudden...

MY DOORBELL RINGS!!! What the frig??? I look out the peep hole and its HER! She is so scary looking! A big scary looking lady - hair all crazy, no makeup, wearing pajamas and her ear is literally on my door! I have just 2 kids here right now, so I run to them and tell them "shhhhh"... My house is very quiet so she can't hear anything. She rang the bell about 4 times!

Of course I did not open it. I am freaked out at this point. I NEVER gave her my address!!!! What makes her think she can just come knock on my door???? Is she going to be stalking me now???? Does Licensing give the address to people when they call? Arghhhh!

I don't list my address on anything for reasons like this. Now its really awkward if I call her. Now she's gone from annoying to angry and creepy. I think I'll wait till tonight & call her back to tell her I can't help her so she'll leave me alone.

I'm really shook up right now. That was sooo frickin freaky!!!!
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permanentvacation 09:37 AM 02-07-2012
If the lady knows your name and your house phone is listed, she can EASILY get your address from 411 or the internet. If your house phone is not listed, she can easily enough get your address from the internet.

I think you should have returned her call a while ago and either have said that you are full and do not have a spot for her - but if you advertise, she can find out otherwise and will call you when she sees your ad. Or you should have told her that you do not take babies - again, if she sees an ad from you for babies, she will call you then. I think you would have been best off to have returned her call and told her that you do not want to do business with her and you do not want her to contact you again. Once you have told her that, if she continues to contact you, then you can file a police report on her for harrassment and gotten a peace order against her.

I personally believe that she will continue to bother you - because she just doesn't understand why you aren't returning her calls - until you do tell her to not contact you.
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MamaBear 10:15 AM 02-07-2012
I agree. I should have called her back. But my life has been insane crazy lately with my husband deployed, I've got 3 kids of my own and a billion other things on my to-do list that calling back someone like her was on the bottom of my list of to-do's.

I just now called her and left a voice mail that I can't help her with her daycare needs and good luck with her daycare search. I used to call everyone back that calls about my daycare, but sometimes I just forget. Usually "normal" people don't pursue to her degree. If they don't get a call back then they move on to the next daycare.

Im not even advertising right now. My website doesn't have openings listed either. And my # and address is not listed on the internet because I've searched for it. I had found it on a couple search sites (Spokeo & Whitepages) a few months ago and had it removed. We are unlisted. I called Licensing and they said anyone can call to review my file and get the address so that is probably how she got it.

She went to far to come ringing my doorbell. And not a normal doorbell ring either... it was like dingdong (5 second pause)...dingdong (2 second pause)... then dingdong, dingdong, dingdonnnnnng. Creepy. HOPEFULLY my voicemail will make her stop. I HOPE.
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karen 10:41 AM 02-07-2012
WOW! How creepy to just show up at your house like that..UGH how awful for you to have to go through something like that with little kids there.
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MamaBear 10:54 AM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by karen:
WOW! How creepy to just show up at your house like that..UGH how awful for you to have to go through something like that with little kids there.
Thanks Karen - It was creepy! You know what was frustrating --- When I called Licensing this morning to ask if she could've got my address from them, the Licensing rep on duty tells me that I should have opened the door for her and asked what she wanted!!! Really?? No way! I told her "Really? I would never open the door for a stranger - especially when I have daycare children here to protect." She said she didn't seem any harm in it. Wow... great Licensing lady! Sheesh. Yeah let me let crazy woman in so she could cuss me out in front of my daycare kids and maybe do something else! Obviously the Licensing lady has never done daycare.
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wdmmom 11:01 AM 02-07-2012
I would just return her call and do this:

"Hi Betty, this is Karen. I've received several calls and I've been meaning to get back to you but at this time, I don't have an infant slot available. Thanks for thinking of me again but I can't help you. If you've got a pen and paper, call (555-111-2233). That's Childcare Resource and Referral. They should be able to give you the name and number of some other providers that can help you. Good luck! Bye now!"
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Childminder 11:07 AM 02-07-2012
Call her back and tell her you haven't been returning calls because you were away for an extended time and just got around to your messages. Tell her that you don't have an opening for a child of that age but will contact her if something opens. Have some phone numbers for her as referral.
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daycare 11:08 AM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I would just return her call and do this:

"Hi Betty, this is Karen. I've received several calls and I've been meaning to get back to you but at this time, I don't have an infant slot available. Thanks for thinking of me again but I can't help you. If you've got a pen and paper, call (555-111-2233). That's Childcare Resource and Referral. They should be able to give you the name and number of some other providers that can help you. Good luck! Bye now!"
ditto this....and you should always make time to handle your business. If you run your own company, you make time for it and deal with all of the issues as they arise.

When you have an issue at target or walmart they don't tell you sorry, I am too busy to deal with you right now, I have too much going on. Sorry to sound blunt or rude, but it's your fault that it has escalated to this point.

THis lady does sound nuts, but she is asking for an answer from you and you are not giving her one.....
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MarinaVanessa 11:13 AM 02-07-2012
Don't let it get any worse. You had no reason or obligation to call her back before. I hope you don't feel like you could have prevented any of this just by answering her call or by calling her back. Chances are that she would have still repeatedly called you again in the future anyway. Something tells me that she's not one to get the hint. You only control your own actions, you do not control the actions of other people. I am a smart enough person to understand that if I called someone and they dodged my phone calls they do not want to talk to me.

I do however agree with those that suggest just telling her you don't want to do business with her is the best possibility of getting her to stop. Telling her anything else will pretty much just give her an opening and reason to call you back or worse ... stop by again. I would be blunt and honest with her.

If I were in your shoes I would call her and before she could say anything at all I would tell her what I expected and would not give her the opportunity to talk.

"Hi, listen I was calling you because of the excessive calls you've been making to my home over the last several [days/weeks/months]. The first few times I simply forgot to call you back because I'm a busy person. I was unable to answer your calls because I was with the kids. Once you continued to call repeatedly it threw up warning flags and I made a choice not to call you back. Your excessive calling and then upset messages have made me completely uninterested in working with you. I had no reason then to call you back. Then when you showed up to my home annanounced and without an appointment I knew that I should not answer my door and that you wanted a confrontation. There was no other reason for you to come to my home. Just so that you are clear, do not come to my home again and do not call me again. I will immediately be reporting the situation to my licensing respresentative. If you bother me again I will also call the authorities for harrassment." Then hang up.
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MrsB 11:14 AM 02-07-2012
I would have done the same thing as you! Dont open the door. Good learning lesson for the daycare kids. Eventhough I know what her name is I dont know her well enough and she didnt make an appointment so we aren't going to answer the door. I would call her and say. I was here at the house but dont answer the doors for those who dont have an appointment. Sometimes I dont have any tact and would say. "Hello, who does that! If I had space for your child, I would have returned one of your several phone calls to set something up, but I dont take interview appointments or random drop bys during daycare hours." So strange!
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nannyde 11:45 AM 02-07-2012
Don't tell her you don't have an opening now. That means there could be an opening later.

Call her back and tell her that you have an opening and the rate is 300 a week. You require two months upfront deposit. Tell her you charge $250 per half hour for an interview and it must be paid one week prior to the interview. If she would like an interview please forward the money order and you will call her back to set it up. If she would be crazy enough to pay to interview you then set it up in a public place and then require she pay the 2750 upfront for the slot.

If she knows it's going to take 3 grand to get in the door she will gladly not come knocking. Just set the price high enough that she wouldn't dream of doing it. If she complains about the cost tell her that you have become wildly in demand and can charge the big bucks. You can only interview and take clients that can pay your high fee.

Learn the art of saying no while you are saying yes.
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Heidi 11:49 AM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Don't tell her you don't have an opening now. That means there could be an opening later.

Call her back and tell her that you have an opening and the rate is 300 a week. You require two months upfront deposit. Tell her you charge $250 per half hour for an interview and it must be paid one week prior to the interview. If she would like an interview please forward the money order and you will call her back to set it up. If she would be crazy enough to pay to interview you then set it up in a public place and then require she pay the 2750 upfront for the slot.

If she knows it's going to take 3 grand to get in the door she will gladly not come knocking. Just set the price high enough that she wouldn't dream of doing it. If she complains about the cost tell her that you have become wildly in demand and can charge the big bucks. You can only interview and take clients that can pay your high fee.

Learn the art of saying no while you are saying yes.


Plus, it would be so FUN to do this!
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MamaBear 01:12 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
ditto this....and you should always make time to handle your business. If you run your own company, you make time for it and deal with all of the issues as they arise.

When you have an issue at target or walmart they don't tell you sorry, I am too busy to deal with you right now, I have too much going on. Sorry to sound blunt or rude, but it's your fault that it has escalated to this point.

THis lady does sound nuts, but she is asking for an answer from you and you are not giving her one.....
FIRST: Please read above. I DID call her back today. Her voicemail answered and I informed her that I couldn't help her. I do usually try to make time for my business --- I might not have been so good at it lately since my life is a little crazy right now.

Walk a day in my shoes and you would know. When your worried about your husband every second of the day whiles he's Afghanistan and trying to take care of your own 5 year old, 10 year old and teenager AND trying to maintain the daycare kids and their needy parents and all else that life entails... then see how much time you have left to return phone calls or sometimes even care to return phone calls.

Also when its someone is calling me about daycare, who I've met with in the past and they flaked on me just a day before they were contracted to start - I don't feel like I owe her a thing!!!! She literally was signed up to start with me 5 years ago and flaked via a message. So I should run to answer her now? Um no. I'm not a Walmart or a Target... I'm a daycare and if I'm not advertising spaces and trying to get more kids right now, then I don't feel I need to call anyone back if I don't want to. Sorry to "blunt or rude" but theres my response.
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MamaBear 01:15 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Don't let it get any worse. You had no reason or obligation to call her back before. I hope you don't feel like you could have prevented any of this just by answering her call or by calling her back. Chances are that she would have still repeatedly called you again in the future anyway. Something tells me that she's not one to get the hint. You only control your own actions, you do not control the actions of other people. I am a smart enough person to understand that if I called someone and they dodged my phone calls they do not want to talk to me.

I do however agree with those that suggest just telling her you don't want to do business with her is the best possibility of getting her to stop. Telling her anything else will pretty much just give her an opening and reason to call you back or worse ... stop by again. I would be blunt and honest with her.

If I were in your shoes I would call her and before she could say anything at all I would tell her what I expected and would not give her the opportunity to talk.

"Hi, listen I was calling you because of the excessive calls you've been making to my home over the last several [days/weeks/months]. The first few times I simply forgot to call you back because I'm a busy person. I was unable to answer your calls because I was with the kids. Once you continued to call repeatedly it threw up warning flags and I made a choice not to call you back. Your excessive calling and then upset messages have made me completely uninterested in working with you. I had no reason then to call you back. Then when you showed up to my home annanounced and without an appointment I knew that I should not answer my door and that you wanted a confrontation. There was no other reason for you to come to my home. Just so that you are clear, do not come to my home again and do not call me again. I will immediately be reporting the situation to my licensing respresentative. If you bother me again I will also call the authorities for harrassment." Then hang up.
Thank you MarinaVanessa Great advice about what to say.
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MamaBear 01:16 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Don't tell her you don't have an opening now. That means there could be an opening later.

Call her back and tell her that you have an opening and the rate is 300 a week. You require two months upfront deposit. Tell her you charge $250 per half hour for an interview and it must be paid one week prior to the interview. If she would like an interview please forward the money order and you will call her back to set it up. If she would be crazy enough to pay to interview you then set it up in a public place and then require she pay the 2750 upfront for the slot.

If she knows it's going to take 3 grand to get in the door she will gladly not come knocking. Just set the price high enough that she wouldn't dream of doing it. If she complains about the cost tell her that you have become wildly in demand and can charge the big bucks. You can only interview and take clients that can pay your high fee.

Learn the art of saying no while you are saying yes.
HaHa I love this Nannyde. Perfect
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saved4always 01:26 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
FIRST: Please read above. I DID call her back today. Her voicemail answered and I informed her that I couldn't help her. I do usually try to make time for my business --- I might not have been so good at it lately since my life is a little crazy right now.

Walk a day in my shoes and you would know. When your worried about your husband every second of the day whiles he's Afghanistan and trying to take care of your own 5 year old, 10 year old and teenager AND trying to maintain the daycare kids and their needy parents and all else that life entails... then see how much time you have left to return phone calls or sometimes even care to return phone calls.

Also when its someone is calling me about daycare, who I've met with in the past and they flaked on me just a day before they were contracted to start - I don't feel like I owe her a thing!!!! She literally was signed up to start with me 5 years ago and flaked via a message. So I should run to answer her now? Um no. I'm not a Walmart or a Target... I'm a daycare and if I'm not advertising spaces and trying to get more kids right now, then I don't feel I need to call anyone back if I don't want to. Sorry to "blunt or rude" but theres my response.
Totally hear you on this! You have alot on your plate right now. If I had all this going on (esp. your husband in Afghanistan!!!), returning someone like this's call would not be on my priority list either! Nor would I be answering the door if a crazy lady is knocking on it. I have a "no soliciting" sign on my door...would an unsolicited daycare parent be considered soliciting?

I'll be praying that your husband returns safely!
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daycare 01:30 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
FIRST: Please read above. I DID call her back today. Her voicemail answered and I informed her that I couldn't help her. I do usually try to make time for my business --- I might not have been so good at it lately since my life is a little crazy right now.

Walk a day in my shoes and you would know. When your worried about your husband every second of the day whiles he's Afghanistan and trying to take care of your own 5 year old, 10 year old and teenager AND trying to maintain the daycare kids and their needy parents and all else that life entails... then see how much time you have left to return phone calls or sometimes even care to return phone calls.

Also when its someone is calling me about daycare, who I've met with in the past and they flaked on me just a day before they were contracted to start - I don't feel like I owe her a thing!!!! She literally was signed up to start with me 5 years ago and flaked via a message. So I should run to answer her now? Um no. I'm not a Walmart or a Target... I'm a daycare and if I'm not advertising spaces and trying to get more kids right now, then I don't feel I need to call anyone back if I don't want to. Sorry to "blunt or rude" but theres my response.
i dont see it as blunt or rude, and it is ok that we handle our businesses differently. I just dont think that by ignoring a problem will make it go away. I just would have handled it differently and it does not make you wrong.

I hope that you are able to resolve the matter and I do hope that she gets the clue.

Sorry to hear that your husband is in this situation.

My mom and dad live in Egypt and does the rest of my family and I cry every night about their safety, so I can relate. And this has gone on for many many years.... no greater fear than the fear of the unknown and I hate not knowing each day if my family is ok or not. But I chose to move away from them, so I have to live with the choice I made.....
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MamaBear 01:42 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by saved4always:
Totally hear you on this! You have alot on your plate right now. If I had all this going on (esp. your husband in Afghanistan!!!), returning someone like this's call would not be on my priority list either! Nor would I be answering the door if a crazy lady is knocking on it. I have a "no soliciting" sign on my door...would an unsolicited daycare parent be considered soliciting?

I'll be praying that your husband returns safely!
Thank you Saved4Always I appreciate your kind words! Yeah I have a 'no soliciting' sign on my door too. I guess she didn't consider herself a solicitor though! haha. Thank you again
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greenhouse 01:47 PM 02-07-2012
This would freak me out too, I might have called the police if she showed up at the house. You don't owe her anything and her calls are becoming borderline harrasment. I hate having my home and # public knowledge. Eeessh.
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MamaBear 01:57 PM 02-07-2012
Greenhouse - Thank you!! I was thinking the same thing when she kept ringing the bell. It was really a crazed type of ringing. And when I looked out the peep hole and saw her ear against my door, that really freaked me out. I'm also on high alert all the time now with my husband not here so theres no way in hell I would open the door. I had that thought flash in my mind to call the police if she didn't give up at the door.
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cheerfuldom 04:36 PM 02-07-2012
The situation was totally understandable (on the OP's end). We are humans...not robots that can remember everything, respond quickly and always appropriately. sheeshh....only love coming from me OP. hope this crazy goes away for good. sometimes saying yes but really saying no is just annoying. how bout a big fat NO from the beginning?
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smb757 05:55 PM 02-07-2012
FYI - in my county, if someone owns their own home, I can search for them on the county assessor's web site.
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saved4always 06:24 PM 02-07-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
Thank you Saved4Always I appreciate your kind words! Yeah I have a 'no soliciting' sign on my door too. I guess she didn't consider herself a solicitor though! haha. Thank you again
You are welcome.

I am sure that she didn't consider herself a solicitor. More of a nuisiance, I guess...lol!
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Michelle 07:34 AM 02-08-2012


This is my no solicitor sign!

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MamaBear 08:36 AM 02-08-2012
HaHaHa! I love it!

Mine says this:

"NO SOLICITORS! IF I DON'T KNOW YOU, THEN GO AWAY!"

I know... not very 'friendly', but it usually works Not yesterday... but usually! lol
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MarinaVanessa 08:43 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
HaHaHa! I love it!

Mine says this:

"NO SOLICITORS! IF I DON'T KNOW YOU, THEN GO AWAY!"

I know... not very 'friendly', but it usually works Not yesterday... but usually! lol
Okay see, that just plain scary. If your sign literally says that and she STILL knocked on the door then that pretty much says that she really 'won't get it'.

Any updates btw? Did you decide to call her afterall or just leave it at that? I do suggest that you at least report it to licensing, just in case.
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safechner 08:58 AM 02-08-2012
I don't know what is your problem. I feel so sorry for this lady who is trying to find out what was going on with you. I can understand his son is the worst but she didn't do anything to you.

Why can't you answer the door and tell her how you feel? She rang the bells a few times because she can hear you in the house. Tell her the truth why you are avoid her. It may be hurting her feelings about that but you and this lady can move on.
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MamaBear 09:05 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Okay see, that just plain scary. If your sign literally says that and she STILL knocked on the door then that pretty much says that she really 'won't get it'.

Any updates btw? Did you decide to call her afterall or just leave it at that? I do suggest that you at least report it to licensing, just in case.
I did call her yesterday right after she came ringing my bell. It was her voicemail, but said I just couldn't help her with her daycare needs and good luck with her search, etc. Im thinking its done.
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MamaBear 09:12 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
I don't know what is your problem. I feel so sorry for this lady who is trying to find out what was going on with you. I can understand his son is the worst but she didn't do anything to you.

Why can't you answer the door and tell her how you feel? She rang the bells a few times because she can hear you in the house. Tell her the truth why you are avoid her. It may be hurting her feelings about that but you and this lady can move on.
Well If you read my whole post you'd read that she was all signed up to start bringing her son to my daycare several years ago and the day before he was supposed to start she cancels. So thats the main reason why I chose to ignore this lady from day one. I don't forget a flaky parent - don't care how long ago it was.

And why can't I answer the door??? REALLY???? I should just answer the door when I have other children here to protect? What if she was really angry and wanted to yell at me? What if she wanted to harm me? Or harm the kids? I don't know what she wanted or what her intentions were! If you just let anyone in your door that knocks, then thats pretty crazy.

She was never given my address by me or invited. She is basically a stranger and I don't allow strangers in my home... especially when daycare children are here. She obviously was crazy ringing the bell as many times as she did. She didn't hear anything in here because one was napping & the other were eating breakfast in the other side of the house. It was extremely quiet. She was just nuts and wanted me to open the door.
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safechner 09:41 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
Well If you read my whole post you'd read that she was all signed up to start bringing her son to my daycare several years ago and the day before he was supposed to start she cancels. So thats the main reason why I chose to ignore this lady from day one. I don't forget a flaky parent - don't care how long ago it was.

And why can't I answer the door??? REALLY???? I should just answer the door when I have other children here to protect? What if she was really angry and wanted to yell at me? What if she wanted to harm me? Or harm the kids? I don't know what she wanted or what her intentions were! If you just let anyone in your door that knocks, then thats pretty crazy.

She was never given my address by me or invited. She is basically a stranger and I don't allow strangers in my home... especially when daycare children are here. She obviously was crazy ringing the bell as many times as she did. She didn't hear anything in here because one was napping & the other were eating breakfast in the other side of the house. It was extremely quiet. She was just nuts and wanted me to open the door.

Yes, I have read your post twice but all you need to tell her that you are not able to help her out and tell her the truth why you feel that you are not working with her again. I am pretty sure she will understand then she can move on to find somewhere else.

Yes, you should answer the door to go out side and closed to protect the kids and you are sorry that you haven't called her back because you forgot about it. She asked anything and tell her that you are not willing to work with her or whatever your reason, then she will leave you alone. Sometime you will need to stand up to tell her. However, I do not let anyone come in my house but I answer the door and go outside and closed the door to see what they want. I had a few parents yelled at me outside of my door and I really dont care about it and I just simple tell them I am sorry if you feel that way and go back in the house and lock it.

She may be stranger but you met her once about 6 years ago. I am sure that she is trying to find out why you haven't returned her call and she may feel something wrong that you are trying to avoid her or something like that. If I were in your shoes, I would call her back in the first place and tell her how you feel. She will move on and find somewhere else but you choose not to call her back and deleted her messages. She can get your address from your licencing or your licencing website that parents can get the address and phone numbers on the list from website.
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Blackcat31 09:49 AM 02-08-2012
I do agree that this situation would not have gotten to the point it did (with her knocking on your door) had you just leveled with her in the first place.

I understand that you have a lot on your plate but all too often on this forum we vent about parents and don't let them use the excuse that they too may have a lot on their plates as well. So IMOP, it goes both ways.

You should have simply been honest with her and addressed the fact that you were not interested in taking her family in the first place.

However, what is done it is done and she is no longer standing on your front step.
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countrymom 10:27 AM 02-08-2012
I don't know, but I'm like the op. I don't answer the door or phone. Acually what she is doing is stalking you. She should have gotten the hint when you didn't call her back, but to show up at someones house is really wrong. I wouldn't have opened the door either.
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wdmmom 10:34 AM 02-08-2012
I wouldn't open the door and I certainly wouldn't go outside! Not only would that put me at a potential risk to deal with a psycho but I wouldn't be doing my job if the kids were in the house and I were outside.

This could have been a lot worse than it was but I think you handled it appropriately. Next time, call prospective clients back within 48 hours of them contacting you and either schedule and interview or turn them away.
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My3cents 10:34 AM 02-08-2012
Daycare has a learning curve for even the seasoned providers-

If something like this should happen again, just be honest and say I don't think we are a good match, so I am not going to take you on as a client, but let me give you some numbers of someone that can be of a help to you in your search for daycare. If she ask you why, you don't have to tell her why, just give her some numbers to your licensing rep who can further direct her, and tell her good luck with her search. Brief, to the point and simple.

It's hard to let someone down, no matter if you like them or not- rejection is rejection.

You did the right thing not letting them in your home- but calling someone back in a reasonable time is part of business. It doesn't take long to return a call. It's uncomfortable- put us out of our comfort zone. Still has to be done if you want to be considered a professional.

If you leveled with her right away........no she wouldn't have come to your care, but she probably wouldn't have bad mouthed you, and might have referred others to you in general conversation......hey Nancy, I went to this really nice daycare and she was not able to take in my kiddo's at the time but she might have openings now, here is her number.

I would not have set her up as NannyDe mentioned- but I think its a riot and great thought. Sometimes, no many a time no amount of money is worth watching a wild child. Could have back fired on you, as it seems this women was a nut job.

Thank you for bringing this to the table, because if something similar should happen, I feel all the feedback has helped me to better handle myself.

One more thing to consider- some of my worst parents/kids have turned around to be the ones that I have missed the most and the greatest. You have to give people a chance to get your rules, your ways, your home, adjustment. A two week trial for both the parent and the provider is the best way to go, and clear consistent rules-policy's.

My kids always act up when parents come in, its like a show to see who is in charge.

Best-
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saved4always 10:36 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by safechner:
Yes, I have read your post twice but all you need to tell her that you are not able to help her out and tell her the truth why you feel that you are not working with her again. I am pretty sure she will understand then she can move on to find somewhere else.

Yes, you should answer the door to go out side and closed to protect the kids and you are sorry that you haven't called her back because you forgot about it. She asked anything and tell her that you are not willing to work with her or whatever your reason, then she will leave you alone. Sometime you will need to stand up to tell her. However, I do not let anyone come in my house but I answer the door and go outside and closed the door to see what they want. I had a few parents yelled at me outside of my door and I really dont care about it and I just simple tell them I am sorry if you feel that way and go back in the house and lock it.

She may be stranger but you met her once about 6 years ago. I am sure that she is trying to find out why you haven't returned her call and she may feel something wrong that you are trying to avoid her or something like that. If I were in your shoes, I would call her back in the first place and tell her how you feel. She will move on and find somewhere else but you choose not to call her back and deleted her messages. She can get your address from your licencing or your licencing website that parents can get the address and phone numbers on the list from website.
I would never answer my door and step outside to talk to someone with daycare children in my house. Thier parents would be very unhappy if they drove up to my house and saw me outside talking to someone with thier kids inside alone. Maybe my kids are younger than yours are, but it would not be safe for me to do that.
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Blackcat31 10:50 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by saved4always:
I would never answer my door and step outside to talk to someone with daycare children in my house. Thier parents would be very unhappy if they drove up to my house and saw me outside talking to someone with thier kids inside alone. Maybe my kids are younger than yours are, but it would not be safe for me to do that.
I go outside with my older children and leave the little ones inside sleeping alone all the time. I use a baby monitor.
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safechner 10:52 AM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by saved4always:
I would never answer my door and step outside to talk to someone with daycare children in my house. Thier parents would be very unhappy if they drove up to my house and saw me outside talking to someone with thier kids inside alone. Maybe my kids are younger than yours are, but it would not be safe for me to do that.
But she said she had two kids with her at that time, I only watch two kids in my home and both of them always just right by my door and I can hear from them. It only took 5-10 seconds that when I wasn't interested in or whatever. Most of time I wouldn't open the door because there are some people are trying to sell steak or candy for funds or whatever.

Let me guess you wouldn't open the door if your inspection or licensing show up by your house and if you think they are stranger. Would you??
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daycare 10:56 AM 02-08-2012
yesterday I was the only one who said anything about I felt she should have answered the womens call from the start and it would have never gotten to this point... That part I disagree with.


BUT I do feel on the OP part that she did the right thing buy not opening the door. Even if it is someone she met before on terms like this. My husband works 48hour shifts and I never open the door, even if it is someone I have seen before, Especially if it is during DC hours and children are present.

I guess the OP can take this as a learning example to just tell someone NO from the start. Then if you already did this and she keeps bugging you, you can then get the law involved.
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MamaBear 11:23 AM 02-08-2012
Everyone has their own way of doing things. Yeah I should have called her a long time ago - I agree with that and already said that over & over. If I could go back I would call her months ago and tell her no. But I didn't. Still doesn't give her the right to stalk my daycare. Thats not normal to just show up at someone's home and try to get a space. Thats all I have to say about that.

I would NEVER open the door for a stranger. I met with her 6 years ago, but that was when my husband was home with me on a weekend when no daycare children were in my home. She's still a stranger. I don't "KNOW" her.

I don't do daycare tours when the kids are here. I would NEVER go outside and leave my daycare kids inside. I had one napping (an infant) and one eating. What if the one eating was choking while I'm out there talking to some psycho lady? Or what if she pushed the door and made her way inside??? Or the parents pulled up while I'm outside. TOO many what ifs. SO I don't second question my decision to not open the door AT ALL. Period.

@ Safecher: If it was Licensing and they show me their badge, then of course I'd let them in. Thats just a silly thing to say that I wouldn't. In my area, the Licensing Rep will not leave until you open the door. So that would be idiotic. Plus I have nothing to hide from them and actually welcome them to come. I don't open for anyone unless a parent or Licensing. Period.

This topic is getting old now. Lets move on!
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saved4always 11:36 AM 02-08-2012
The 3 kids I watch are 2 and under, so, no, I would not be comfortable leaving them alone in the house while I talked to someone outside the door. They can get into trouble in seconds at that age (and 2 of the 3 would, believe me ). They all sleep at the same time so there is no need for me to be outside while anyone is sleeping. And, where I live, I do not have to be liscensed for the small number of children I watch, so I am not. So, no, I would probably not answer the door if a stranger was there....there is no stranger who should have the expectation that my home would be open to them. I am not comfortable with answering the door to strangers while I am home alone with small children. If others are comfortable doing that, that is fine with me. Just don't expect me to feel the same way. Everyone has their own comfort zone when dealing with feeling secure in their homes and I am more of a scaredy-cat...lol.
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MrsB 12:03 PM 02-08-2012
In maryland it is against licenaing regs to step outside with daycare children inside. Even if its one foot. I agree u should have called her back but that is just soooo weird that she would call licensing to get your address and show up at the house. When u have had no contact.
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MamaBear 12:07 PM 02-08-2012
Thanks Saved4Always & MrsB. I totally agree.
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Meeko 01:00 PM 02-08-2012
So what entered my mind as I read all these posts?

Jealous thoughts of how other people can actually SEE through their door peepholes. I'd have to get a chair to see through mine
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daycare 01:12 PM 02-08-2012
Originally Posted by Meeko60:
So what entered my mind as I read all these posts?

Jealous thoughts of how other people can actually SEE through their door peepholes. I'd have to get a chair to see through mine
omg how cute....sorry I am tall, I always wished I was short.....lol
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christinaskids 07:21 AM 02-09-2012
I also think you did the right thing. Ive run into some weirdos in this business and never open my door for anyone i dont know, especially a situation like this. Its just plain weird to cone to someones house that you dont know because they havent returned a phone call. Yes she could of stopped if you called her right away or she could of gotten confrontational also. I think you did the right thing.
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MamaBear 07:55 AM 02-09-2012
Originally Posted by christinaskids:
I also think you did the right thing. Ive run into some weirdos in this business and never open my door for anyone i dont know, especially a situation like this. Its just plain weird to cone to someones house that you dont know because they havent returned a phone call. Yes she could of stopped if you called her right away or she could of gotten confrontational also. I think you did the right thing.
Thank you Christinaskids Happy Thursday! Its almost the weekend! Woohoo!
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MamaBear 09:56 AM 02-10-2012
I went grocery shopping last night and I'm looking at cream cheese and this lady is standing VERY close to me looking at the same item. I move away a couple feet because I need my "personal space". I move away from her and realize its THE CRAZY LADY who was ringing my bell days ago!!!! I don't say anything and just walk over to the produce section. I don't know if she recognized me at that point because she hasn't seen me in like 6 years.

I'm looking at avocados now and all of a sudden she is right next to me AGAIN!!! I move away AGAIN. I grab my avocados and go to the lettuce... and there she is... close again. So lastly I go get apples & grapes on the other end and she follows! I then go from weirded out to just irritated.

I look at her like "WHAT???" as I'm putting grapes in a bag. I notice she has no basket and she's not even picking anything up. She won't look at me at all now. She then turns around and walks away out of the store!!!

What is that about??? Is she stalking me??? This is starting to kinda freak me out more now. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I am 100% sure it was her because she is very recognizable and I saw her in my peep hole the other day. You can't mistake this woman's face for anyone else.

I'm officially creeped out! lol
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Zoe 09:58 AM 02-10-2012
Oh my.....that is scary.
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Sugar Magnolia 11:01 AM 02-10-2012
Ok, that sure sounds like stalking. Did you notice what she was driving when she pounded in your door? Be on the lookout for that vehicle near your home, and if you see it, call 911. I hope you saved the voicemails and call log because this is evidence. I'm thinking she parked down the street and followed you which is MESSED UP!
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MyAngels 11:11 AM 02-10-2012
Originally Posted by MamaBear:
I went grocery shopping last night and I'm looking at cream cheese and this lady is standing VERY close to me looking at the same item. I move away a couple feet because I need my "personal space". I move away from her and realize its THE CRAZY LADY who was ringing my bell days ago!!!! I don't say anything and just walk over to the produce section. I don't know if she recognized me at that point because she hasn't seen me in like 6 years.

I'm looking at avocados now and all of a sudden she is right next to me AGAIN!!! I move away AGAIN. I grab my avocados and go to the lettuce... and there she is... close again. So lastly I go get apples & grapes on the other end and she follows! I then go from weirded out to just irritated.

I look at her like "WHAT???" as I'm putting grapes in a bag. I notice she has no basket and she's not even picking anything up. She won't look at me at all now. She then turns around and walks away out of the store!!!

What is that about??? Is she stalking me??? This is starting to kinda freak me out more now. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I am 100% sure it was her because she is very recognizable and I saw her in my peep hole the other day. You can't mistake this woman's face for anyone else.

I'm officially creeped out! lol
You know, I'm not normally an alarmist, but this would be worth a phone call to the police to me. I'd just call and talk to someone to see if they think you should file a formal report. That's seriously creepy .
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daycare 11:12 AM 02-10-2012
not sure if you recall or not, but I was being followed by a creepy prospective client. I reported it right away.

If I were you, I would report it right now. Let them know everything...
I am so sorry that this is happening to you....
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Childminder 12:48 PM 02-10-2012
Yeah, this is creepy! I'd be calling the police at the very least to make them aware of a potential problem. The fact that this is a daycare will put you on their radar. I have had a few unusual situations happen here over the years, ie; someone stumbling around in front of my home, neighbor across the streets grown son having some kind of "episode" in the front yard, dead deer in front of my driveway, gas main break, stuff like that...and all I do is call the police, say I'm a daycare and BAM they show up. They are as concerned with the safety of the children as you are and if you feel threatened they will take a report and maybe show a greater police presence. Once they parked an empty police cruiser in our drive for a few days just to show a threatening former parent that they were aware of his bull.
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MamaBear 01:34 PM 02-10-2012
Yes I know what kind of car she has and so I've been totally on the look out for it on my street since yesterday. I think your right Sugar Magnolia... I think she was probably on my street watching me leave yesterday. I got done early @ 330 yesterday and went grocery shopping right after. I didn't notice anyone on my street but I wasn't really thinking about someone stalking me at that time. Now I'm totally on the alert for it.

If I see one more episode of her near my home or anywhere that I am, I will definitely call the police. I don't get why she would even do this? It's so bizarre! I just looked up her name on "white pages" and found her address too --- so in case something else does happen, I can totally I.D. her. I've never had such a strange encounter before. It's like 'daycare fatal attraction'! sheesh!

Thanks daycare, Childminder, Sugar Magnolia and Myangels... I'll definitely be on high alert. Thanks for your advice. It's good to know that the police will react swiftly to me if I need to call them.
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saved4always 01:46 PM 02-10-2012
I was a little creeped out just reading your post. I agree with the others posting that you should call the police to report it and let them know about the situation in case you see her lurking around your home or anywhere else you go. I would guess there is probably not anything they can do about it right now, but maybe they can give you advice. And if you do not already, make sure to always lock your doors of you home and car, just in case she actually is crazy! I hope that is the last you see of her!
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daycare 02:23 PM 02-10-2012
If I were you, I would not wait until something else happens, just report it. When I did, the police drove around my neighborhood more often and they even called me 3 days later too see if I had any more sighting of the woman.

Its always better to be safe than sorry....I am so sorry you are having to go through this especially without the support of your husband. YOu really don't know what this woman is capable of....
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MarinaVanessa 03:03 PM 02-10-2012
Yes report it! It got from wierd to creepy really fast. Just call the non-emergency line and say that you want to file a report. Tell them everything that has happened up to this point, additionally I would start a log too. Document, document, document. Have you called licensing yet? If not I'd call them and put them on alert too, you don't know what she's capable of indeed! You never know, she may be or has been or will do this to someone else.
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countrymom 05:11 PM 02-10-2012
wow,thats scary. I would call the non emergency number and just make a report. Mention your a daycare and they will take care of you.
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Sugar Magnolia 05:19 PM 02-10-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
wow,thats scary. I would call the non emergency number and just make a report. Mention your a daycare and they will take care of you.
Agree, BUT if I saw her in my rear view mirror, I dunno, thats 911 material. Its beyond creepy, its scary! Not to be an alarmist, but this woman sounds deranged.
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e.j. 05:52 PM 02-10-2012
Oh, wow! I would advise calling the police as well. Her behavior really is not normal. If it were me in this situation, I would call the police, describe what's going on and see what they suggest you do. Hopefully, they can and will help you with this situatioin. At the very least, calling them starts the process of creating a "paper trail" in case things escalate.
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MamaBear 06:21 PM 02-10-2012
Thanks guys. I called the local police dept this afternoon and talked to them about the whole situation. Not really much they can do they said, but they told me to just let them know if I see her near my home again or harasses me whatsoever. At least they have on record now that I've called about it. They said I did the right thing by not opening the door for her the other day. Now I'm VERY glad I did not.

So thanks for the advice. I'm glad I called them just to get some peace of mind. Now I just wait and see if she comes around again. I'm hoping not.
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Meyou 04:44 AM 02-12-2012
Oh my goodness, I hope not either! I'm glad you called the police.
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