DCK Naughty Words

[kcnjason]

The problem stems from my own child, my youngest. She will be going to kindergarten in the fall but she can be mean, especially to her friends during daycare hours. (of course it's her home) Lately she has been using the word "hate" too often. That word is not okay at our home and all of the children know this. She will get mad and just say, "I hate you" or "______ I hate you, your not my friend!" Any suggestions on stopping this? The older kids, or all of the children around her age know its not okay but it's my younger 2 that I worry about, worry they will pick up the word and start using it in their vocabulary. She is very stubborn, timeouts do not work for her, I have tried taking away her favorite toys, but she really does not have ONE favorite toy. Any suggestions are welcome!!! I have tried many things and I am hoping that someone will have a trick that will work.

My own child is 2 and has just started this too. His is much more childish though saying "your butt stinks" a phrase he learned from our 5 yr old cousin. I have no ideas as nothing is working with him either. Someone said once to bring them to the bathroom if they use potty talk but it doesnt sound like your daughter is using potty language- just saying things you prefer her not to. Hopefully someone posts something good. Otherwise know I am with you on this one for sure!

[Cat Herder]

My rule for pre-schoolers was for every "Hate" they had to give me three "Loves" about the person they said it to.

So if Sally told Susie she hated her Sally would owe me 3 "Loves".

Like:

"I love Susie's Hair."
"I love how Susie can paint in the lines."
"I love when Susie brushes my hair."

Sally would sit at the table, with me, until she told me all 3 things. If she went into melt-down tantrum, she went to the screaming spot (bean bag chair in the quiet area) until she could return to the table with me.

I would not MAKE Sally apologize to Susie as this is awkward for Susie and she did nothing wrong. I also feel that would teach Sally that "I'm Sorry" is a get out of jail free card.

Many times after Sally would give her 3 "Loves" Susie would reciprocate to Sally things she loves about her as well and they would suddenly be bestest friends again.