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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>11.5 Hours A Day In Daycare?
hwichlaz 09:28 AM 05-09-2019
Law Enforcement
Firefighters
EMTs
Paramedics
Dispatchers
Nurses
ER Drs

all work 12 hour shifts here. Most of them 3-4 days a week. Our sheriff's dept is so under staffed right now that they are all working 5 and 6 days a week. None of them had kids or started that job expecting to work 5 or 6 12 hours shifts a week. But it is what it is, and they need child care.
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Josiegirl 09:56 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Um okay.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
You don't have to agree but generalized sweeping statements about those that don't share your view is pretty narrow minded.

Everyone also has choices.
What's with all the new unregistered posts? Did I miss something?
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Ariana 10:14 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
Law Enforcement
Firefighters
EMTs
Paramedics
Dispatchers
Nurses
ER Drs

all work 12 hour shifts here. Most of them 3-4 days a week. Our sheriff's dept is so under staffed right now that they are all working 5 and 6 days a week. None of them had kids or started that job expecting to work 5 or 6 12 hours shifts a week. But it is what it is, and they need child care.
Most parents can stagger their hours so they don’t leave their kids in care for those hours. I can see some people truly needing it but most don’t.

Almost every single daycare ad I have seen in the past two years is for a minimum of 10 hours a day. The last family I interviewed needed my full day of 7am-5pm eventhough I asked both of them what they did for a living and there was no reason they could not stagger their hours like some of my other families. The couple across the street from me both work the same job as my husband but both work 10 hours to his 7!

Some people are making those choices.
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Cat Herder 11:59 AM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
What's with all the new unregistered posts? Did I miss something?
I am curious as well.

Also, as a double paramedic/firefighter family (DH and I), we make the choices we can live with. Our kids have not been in daycare, our bills are paid, we paid for their college and are now funding our retirement. My time on shift is the easy part.
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Rockgirl 12:08 PM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I work 2 jobs and my wife is a nurse an hour away from our home . 3 days out of the week my child requires 11.5 hour days at daycare. I wanted a daughter, I will not be a dirtbag of a human being dependent on welfare, and I will work my ass off to provide for my family. The extra money destroys our debt, saves money for my daughters college/wedding/future house. Yes it’s a long day for anyone to do and guess what I did think about providing for my daughter when I thought about having kids. Anyone who say you should have thought about that before having children either does not have children or completely relays on free handouts I.e. government assistance, stay at home mom, or still live with your parents. Some of us have to work our ass off to survive. Until you have been in our shoes you can promptly stfu.
“Promptly stfu”? The last post in this thread was eight years ago, until you bumped it back up, so.....
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hwichlaz 12:10 PM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Most parents can stagger their hours so they don’t leave their kids in care for those hours. I can see some people truly needing it but most don’t.

Almost every single daycare ad I have seen in the past two years is for a minimum of 10 hours a day. The last family I interviewed needed my full day of 7am-5pm eventhough I asked both of them what they did for a living and there was no reason they could not stagger their hours like some of my other families. The couple across the street from me both work the same job as my husband but both work 10 hours to his 7!

Some people are making those choices.
That was possible before they were short-handed. Now everyone is ordered in for mandatory over time. We are a very large county...and right now we only have 2 deputies on duty at a time. There is a large lake in the middle of our county that takes about an hour to drive around rolling code. It's practically the wild west out here right now. With mom and dad working opposite days, because of the mandatory OT the kids are still in care 4 days a week 13 hours a day. No one likes it...but getting fired for refusing the OT isn't an option.

Examply, before mandatory OT mom works Mon-Wed and every other Thursday. Dad worked Every other wednesday and Thurs-Sat They get sundays off together to do family stuff. Mom is working at the jail, dad on patrol, which is why the sunday off happens. With mandatory OT they are both working 6 days a week but still getting Sundays off together. It really sucks
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Blackcat31 12:25 PM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
That was possible before they were short-handed. Now everyone is ordered in for mandatory over time. We are a very large county...and right now we only have 2 deputies on duty at a time. There is a large lake in the middle of our county that takes about an hour to drive around rolling code. It's practically the wild west out here right now. With mom and dad working opposite days, because of the mandatory OT the kids are still in care 4 days a week 13 hours a day. No one likes it...but getting fired for refusing the OT isn't an option.

Examply, before mandatory OT mom works Mon-Wed and every other Thursday. Dad worked Every other wednesday and Thurs-Sat They get sundays off together to do family stuff. Mom is working at the jail, dad on patrol, which is why the sunday off happens. With mandatory OT they are both working 6 days a week but still getting Sundays off together. It really sucks
There is no other family to assist in child care duties?

If not perhaps it’s time for one parent to stay home with their child then

Children are only young once.

Plus most the “expenses” people have now days are optional not necessary.

I agree with Ariana 100%
Everything is a choice
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Indoorvoice 01:27 PM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
There is no other family to assist in child care duties?

If not perhaps it’s time for one parent to stay home with their child then

Children are only young once.

Plus most the “expenses” people have now days are optional not necessary.

I agree with Ariana 100%
Everything is a choice
Yup, people DO have the choice. You don't have to work THAT career just because that's what you have now. The work from home options are endless right now. My teaching career worked for my family for 6 great years until it didn't. Then child care worked for 5 more until it didn't. Now I found a new job that fits my growing family even better. Options are out there but you have to do the work to find them and make them work for your needs and your kids' needs. Sometimes dropping your kid off at daycare is the easiest. Doesn't mean it's the best. We're not in a job shortage right now,you can find what works for your family.
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hwichlaz 04:52 PM 05-09-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
There is no other family to assist in child care duties?

If not perhaps it’s time for one parent to stay home with their child then

Children are only young once.

Plus most the “expenses” people have now days are optional not necessary.

I agree with Ariana 100%
Everything is a choice
yes, but when that choice means not eating it's not much of a choice. when it means not being able to afford housing, it's not much of a choice. People do what they need to do to get by, and it's not up to us judge them for that.

They are paying their bills, caring for their children, and hopefully more officers will get hired and things will calm down again. Quitting would just mean the community their their children are living in is now less safe.
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Blackcat31 06:39 AM 05-10-2019
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
yes, but when that choice means not eating it's not much of a choice. when it means not being able to afford housing, it's not much of a choice. People do what they need to do to get by, and it's not up to us judge them for that.

They are paying their bills, caring for their children, and hopefully more officers will get hired and things will calm down again. Quitting would just mean the community their their children are living in is now less safe.
You are speaking of one specific family.
I am speaking in general

I am sure there are truly families that must work long hours (thus leaving their child in care long hours) in order to simply eat/survive but to be truthful I think those families are few and far between.

Those types of families are different.
We, as providers recognize them easily via their attitudes, their communication with us and their willingness to sneak quality moments in with their child when they can.

The families we vent about and discuss (in this and other threads) are the type to get instantly snippy when it's pointed out that they are CHOOSING to work long hours so they can pay for things they want, not things they need.

There's a big difference. The families like you are speaking of probably wouldn't tell others to promptly stfu in response to this discussion.
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LysesKids 05:11 PM 05-10-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
There is no other family to assist in child care duties?

If not perhaps it’s time for one parent to stay home with their child then

Children are only young once.

Plus most the “expenses” people have now days are optional not necessary.

I agree with Ariana 100%
Everything is a choice
No offense, but I was working 14 hrs a day a few years ago for this reason... one of my families was military & heart surgeon @ UT Medical, both worked 12 hr days & tried to schedule to make infant in care less, but they weren't on opposite shifts, but overlapped hrs... guaranteed 13 hrs a day on this one child, no family within 8 hrs and nobody else would do those hrs. Sometimes it's a no win situation (except OT pay).

BTW, I got this little back for drop-in for 2 weeks early last year (before I closed); parents loved that I was willing to step in again for evening hrs while they were getting ready to relocated across country; little miss didn't need to see her home packed up late at night
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amberrose3dg 10:51 AM 05-13-2019
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You are speaking of one specific family.
I am speaking in general

I am sure there are truly families that must work long hours (thus leaving their child in care long hours) in order to simply eat/survive but to be truthful I think those families are few and far between.

Those types of families are different.
We, as providers recognize them easily via their attitudes, their communication with us and their willingness to sneak quality moments in with their child when they can.

The families we vent about and discuss (in this and other threads) are the type to get instantly snippy when it's pointed out that they are CHOOSING to work long hours so they can pay for things they want, not things they need.

There's a big difference. The families like you are speaking of probably wouldn't tell others to promptly stfu in response to this discussion.
This! Most families that work those long of hours most likely only work 3 or 4 days a week. I have had a lot of families come through my door and have never actually had one that their child needed to be in care from open to close. The truth is most parents want someone else to do the heavy lifting.
I am only doing before and after care. I have a family now dad is a teacher. He works the same hours kids are in school.
He only picks his kids up maybe 1 day a week if that. He has his mom doing it. He has 6 kids!! He volunteers for other things and has to run errands etc... He has no problem dropping them in the mornings but picking them back up is a different story.
This is more the normal then two parents who have to work 24/7 just to eat.
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Hunni Bee 11:59 AM 05-13-2019
I thought we had banned unregistered and this is the oldest thread i've seen dredged up - 8 years old.

I leave my house at 6:55 am and do not return until 6:55 pm, and that's if I go directly to work and directly home. When my ddaughter was in daycare she was here from 7:30 to 6:30 4 days a week. I am blessed that my mom keeps her so that even though she's missing a lot of face time with me, she's at least in her own home. I'm done with this job after this year.

My worst behaved kid is here 50-55 hours a week. Never absent, never picked up early, rain sleet tornadoes Armageddon - he's here. When he had a ear infection they picked him up regular time, took him promptly to Kidmed for antibiotics and he was dropped off early the next day.

I get both sides of the coin. The childcare industry discourages long hours but demands them from us.
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amberrose3dg 03:36 AM 05-14-2019
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I thought we had banned unregistered and this is the oldest thread i've seen dredged up - 8 years old.

I leave my house at 6:55 am and do not return until 6:55 pm, and that's if I go directly to work and directly home. When my ddaughter was in daycare she was here from 7:30 to 6:30 4 days a week. I am blessed that my mom keeps her so that even though she's missing a lot of face time with me, she's at least in her own home. I'm done with this job after this year.

My worst behaved kid is here 50-55 hours a week. Never absent, never picked up early, rain sleet tornadoes Armageddon - he's here. When he had a ear infection they picked him up regular time, took him promptly to Kidmed for antibiotics and he was dropped off early the next day.

I get both sides of the coin. The childcare industry discourages long hours but demands them from us.
But you are working those long hours caring for other's children. Providers that work at home can have their children with them.
Daycare centers are probably the worst as far as parents leaving their children open to close. Most charge more than a home provider but offer that open to close service. If a parent feels they are paying for it they will leave them there 12 hours even if they do not need it.
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Blackcat31 06:06 AM 05-14-2019
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I thought we had banned unregistered and this is the oldest thread i've seen dredged up - 8 years old.
Michael's reply from another thread regarding unregistered posters;

Originally Posted by Michael:
I decided to give it another try. We had some good unregistered posts the last 24 hours. The private and members only threads are still in effect which prevent access and unregistered posting.

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Susiecutie29 08:08 AM 07-11-2019
Have you judgemental people thought that she might be a single mom?? I was raised in foster care. I lost contact with all my family members. I am now married with my husband of eight years. The point is, if he were to leave me, I'd have no one to watch my kids. Therefore, forcing my hand to work a longer shift from eight to twelve hours. At this time, I'd have no choice but to have them be in day care for that long. I would hate it and with a passion, but sometimes and most people, don't have the option to be a stay at home mom. Even if there were two parents, nowadays, it takes two paychecks to live in this God forsaken world. You really think if she had another way, she would be home with her babies longer??? You mothers out there need to have more compassion for other people's lives. You don't know until you ask. As for the person who denied her care for her children just because you thought it was too long, shame on you! Yes, it is long, but every situation is different and this mom needed your help.
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springv 08:43 AM 07-11-2019
We are opened from 6am until 6pm Monday-Friday and some of our kids stay that long and some stay from 6am until 2pm or 3:30pm depending on their work schedules. When the first owners did this they done it so that it gives parents reasonable time to get to and from work or wherever they need to be
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Blackcat31 08:49 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Have you judgemental people thought that she might be a single mom??
Being a single parent is not a disability.
Single parenting is not "special" nor does it equate to deserving special treatment.

Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
I was raised in foster care. I lost contact with all my family members. I am now married with my husband of eight years. The point is, if he were to leave me, I'd have no one to watch my kids. Therefore, forcing my hand to work a longer shift from eight to twelve hours. At this time, I'd have no choice but to have them be in day care for that long. I would hate it and with a passion, but sometimes and most people, don't have the option to be a stay at home mom.
So hypothetically if your husband were to leave you, he would also being leaving his parental duties/responsibilities as well?

He would surely be available to help raise the child(ren) you had together...

Also in 8+ years time you have made no friends nor developed any type of support system than can lend a hand or help in caring for your child(ren) verses assuming a child care provider should have to step up and do that work for you?


Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Even if there were two parents, nowadays, it takes two paychecks to live in this God forsaken world.
9 out of 10 times it's because people (generally) feel that they need things they really don't need but rather want.
It requires two paychecks because people live beyond their means and choose to live a specific way.

Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
You really think if she had another way, she would be home with her babies longer??? You mothers out there need to have more compassion for other people's lives. You don't know until you ask.
Most providers have experienced parents that bring their children every day, all day even on their off days.

Its a rare parent that uses child care for only working hours.
So our experience as providers differs greatly from what you are saying.



Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
As for the person who denied her care for her children just because you thought it was too long, shame on you! Yes, it is long, but every situation is different and this mom needed your help.
Assuming child care providers don't care or shaming us for not assisting in the PARENT part of raising a child is judgemental and unkind. Shame on you for thinking it's a provider's responsibility to fill in the gaps for parents.

Providers work LONG hours without breaks or time off during the day.
We work long and hard to make up for those things parents often times don't do for their children.

Providers see the fall out of parents that put work obligations above their child and long hours are never beneficial for a child in any situation.

Don't blame child care providers for that.
That's on the parent.

Oh and for the record; many licensing rules and regulations prohibit a child from being in care more than a set number of hours per day.

But you wouldn't know that unless you asked.

Clearly it's not the provider's that are being judgmental here.
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Susiecutie29 09:01 AM 07-11-2019
Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical

Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
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Rockgirl 09:18 AM 07-11-2019
I’m compassionate, but my workday is already ten hours long. That’s just the time children are actually in my care. There’s also the time spent planning, shopping, cleaning, doing required paperwork, and keeping annual trainings up to date. So if I choose not to extend my workday to meet someone else’s needs, I’m not compassionate to their situation? Nah.

Providers who don’t set limits, and always say yes because they feel the need to fill in others’ gaps, are destined for burnout. That’s not healthy for anyone involved. We need compassion, too.
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Cat Herder 10:16 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
No thanks.

I already did the hard work of planning for then having kids on purpose, building my own business and raising my children to adulthood myself. I will not change my policies for people who don't or won't do the same.

There are already plenty of subsidy programs for the hypothetical people you are talking about.

Being disrespectful to the moderators could get you banned, tread lightly.
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Blackcat31 10:41 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical

Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
Is this a fact or another assumption?

Don't be judgemental.

....and for the record, I wasn't being snarky to you in my response so please save the sarcasm, it's not appreciated when discussing important parent obligations.
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boy_mom 10:44 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad.
We have plenty of compassion, the majority of us feel for parents who are trying to make it work and get by. That does not equate to granting each and every request from a client.

You say another 45 minutes isn't a long time, but it really is after you worked a 10 hour day. We also work with multiple families at a time, who all have needs outside what we offer. At what point does it end granting special requests??

Where is the compassion for the provider who has already worked a long day, who still has another hour of cleaning/sanitizing and paperwork once the families have gone home for the night?

Where is the compassion for our own families who have been waiting all day for our attention and care?

That "compassion" ish goes both ways my friend.....
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hwichlaz 11:33 AM 07-11-2019
Originally Posted by daycare:
can I ask you a question? Have you ever been a single parent?
Right? I was married for 15 years. I didn't leave him. He left us. If I couldn't do childcare anymore I'd have to work two 30 hour per week jobs to keep us out of a cardboard box. My mom had to do the same. We're very close, always have been. I would have loved more time with her...but I wasn't angry about not getting it. And the time we did have, she was even tempered, pleasant, loving, and attentive. No matter how exhausted she was. She's my hero, to this day.
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Ariana 04:48 PM 07-11-2019
If you are a single parent and the other parent skipped town or is dead and you are a nurse/firefighter/surgeon then yeah I totally get it. I am not talking about you. I am talking about people I have personally interviewed needing 10-12 hours of care for absolutely no logical reason.

Just had an interview, they needed 10 hours of care. Mom is a manager at a drugstore, dad owns his own paving business. They can’t stagger their hours? They both work 10 hours a day? Don’t think so. I have worked retail so I know the difference, and managers generally get there first in the morning and then leave early.

Anyway I feel like some people can think of any excuse as to why someone would need that much care...astronaut? But I am past being naive about 99% of parents intentions.
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Msdunny 07:03 AM 07-12-2019
The older I get, the more I realize that my job (home daycare) cannot be my life. So I would never take on a client that needed me 60+ hours per week. my time is just too valuable to me. And I have raised too many kids whose parents value work time and 'getting ahead' over spending time with their own sweet little ones. The years pass too quickly. I get that for some folks, that is a necessity. I really do. So please don't 'yell'. But for me, it is just too much. My own family needs my attention, and my home needs to be a home.

So to answer your question, yes, I think 11.5 hours is too much time for a kiddo to be in daycare, and I would never take that client. But I am glad there are good providers out there who can and will.
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Mike 07:45 AM 07-12-2019
I think it's simple. If a parent needs long hours, they just have to find a daycare that does offer long hours. Daycares that are open 10 hours, or only 2 hours, are open for that long by choice. Parents just need to find a daycare that can meet their needs. If there isn't one, that's not daycare providers faults.
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Dreamer0311 07:52 AM 07-12-2019
There are MANY single parents that did not choose to be single yes it was both parties but things happen. Or maybe they did but hey that’s life. I have most that only stay for 8 hrs but two that stay for 12 hours. He pays me extra for the longer time and it isn’t the kids fault. When I was working out of the home our daycare opened at 6 am and closed at 6 pm so 12 hour operation. Also my husband is a police officer and works 12 hours not including his commute. Ofc we don’t have to worry about childcare because lol I run a daycare but if you want to take it on do but if not don’t if you are ok with going a litttle longer but need more money for the overage of 10 hours. If the program isn’t good then no I don’t think think it is to long. I mean I do but I don’t. I have mixed feelings about it. Not everyone can have the luxury of a 8 or 10 hour job. It’s when they start abusing the time and leaving them there longer then the agreed upon times.
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Mom2Two 11:48 AM 07-12-2019
Well pretty much everyone has said most of the things I've been thinking as I read the thread over.

The only thing I would add is that I am pretty ticked at whoever is was that started the idea that we can do it all/have it all.

The biological reality is that it takes 20 or so years to raise a human being. There's lots of good data about the impact a good parent makes. But this reality seems to be consistently missing from all conversations about daycare/professions/life style.

Our life choices have more impact than just on the economy or our personal happiness. No one else can parent a child better than a committed parent.
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Dreamer0311 11:52 AM 07-12-2019
Very well said and totally agree I wish life was easier where we could all find someway to work less but unfortunately it’s not the way.
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Snowmom 03:38 PM 07-14-2019
Originally Posted by Susiecutie29:
Ok, so we're not talking about my situation, it was hypothetical

Some people just don't have that option. Dads can be scumbags. Hell, a number of reasons why she needs her kids to be in daycare that long. Do you know? I don't think so. Have compassion. And personally, I don't think a forty-five minute wait is too bad. However, there needs to be rules. If she had gone past that forty-five minute mark, then say you can't do this anymore. Daycare centers get paid quite the amount. Forty-five minutes is not too bad for someone who needs the help. Don't be judgemental, ask first, evaluate, then offer a final answer. thanks kitty kat 30
Personally, I don't give a rat's @$$ why you (general you) need daycare. I don't care what your story is. I don't care what woe-is-me, single-mom back history you have. I will never ask and I don't care to know.
If you don't fit with what my business has to offer, move on to someone who offers what you want (IF you can find it).
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MelissaP 06:27 AM 07-23-2019
I agree with SnowMom 1000 percent! I don't care what life has thrown your way (it's all a choice. You know who you married, what job you have, what hours you have). My first husband was a drug addicted, over the road truck driver.. I made my life work for our kids (he was there but not really). When we split up, he took off for years before getting it together enough to be in his kids lives. I made it work for ME and the children. I knew who I married. I never could count on him. He bailed on his first kid.I knew who he was. I wasn't blinded by some superficial love. I made the decision to marry a drug addict. A guy that loved the road more then me. There was never a haze over that. BUT, I raised my kids. I never once had to put them in a child care facility for over two weeks because I made MY schedule work with someone else's so that my kids were raised by family. I worked retail most of my 20s and 30s. My hours were 7:00 - 3:30 every day and if my job couldn't extend those hours to me, I went elsewhere. My mother was also a single parent and I was in the care of her best friend for many years growing up. My mother made her hours work around what she could (the same 6:30 - 3:00 shift) so I was never without awake time with my mother. Using the single parent thing as an excuse is just that.. an excuse. Same goes when woman announce that they are "single parents" and looking for "affordable care". What does that mean? "Affordable care"? And why is this my problem? I still need to pay the bills.
My hours are from 7-5pm for a reason. I also want time with my children and my family. I don't want to be rushed to do anything in the evening. If that doesn't work for families, that's fine. I don't care. It works for 99 percent of the families that I am in the market for and if not.. there are centers around here that are open 6-6:30pm.
There are also 24 hour facilities that are open for the families that are healthcare providers, first responders and community services providers. I get it, I'm not hating on any of those individuals and am happy that we have those that provide those services. But please do not call me if you need hours outside of my 7-5. I will not take you. And I am working on becoming a provider that specializes i teacher care, so you may not call me if you are not a teacher or the like (I like my summers. LOL).

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Unregistered 12:37 PM 12-10-2019
Originally Posted by countrymom:
call me stupid, but if one parent works 12 hour shifts, then does the other parent also work 12 hours or do they work in the same place. Do you see what I mean. I find it hard to believe that both parents work 12 hour shift that begin and end at the same time.
Also, I agree with the comment about having kids. If your working 12 hour shifts now, more than likely they were working these shifts before they had children, so many parents know darn well what they are getting into.
Yes its sad that children spend so much time in the care of other people, what makes me more mad are the ones that then have the nerve to complain how bad their children are when they are acually with them.
also, another stupid question, many people who work 12 hour shifts have days off, usually they would work 3 12 hour shift and then have like 4 days off, kwim. What jobs offer long hours, nurses, cops, seasonal workers but what else.
What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.
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Blackcat31 01:06 PM 12-10-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.
The poster you quoted is from 2011.


As for judgment....why is there an automatic assumption that being a single mother, a widow or a parent working 2 jobs that it should somehow impact the provider?

I offer services from X time to X time for a set fee.
I don't give discounts for being a single mother, a widow or the fact that you might work two jobs.

It has NOTHING to do with the services I offer.

Where does this sympathy you mention fit in?

I have a family.
I have bills to pay.
I may be married, single, divorced or widowed.
I might have a second or even a third job.

Your perspective is just as judgmental.
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Ac114 01:18 PM 12-10-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.
I am open 7am-5:30 pm. I have 3 children and a husband with 3 autoimmune diseases which has made him disabled. Why should I have sympathy for this so called single mom working 2 jobs or a widow. I have my fair share of family problems, responsibilities etc. my family needs me as well. If you hours don’t fit in hours of operation then oh well.
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Snowmom 02:40 PM 12-10-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.
Oh, the irony.





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Ariana 06:04 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Oh, the irony.




I know right?!

Maybe they are an award winning astronaut who has gone on a mars mission for 3 months and has no one to care for her kids. Where is the compassion?? Don’t you know it is my responsibility to care for that child, a complete stranger who happens to run a childcare business?

It is kind of like when my dentist took time off for Christmas and I got a tooth infection. How dare him tell me he was unavailable to see me. Where is his compassion?

Some people have no clue what compassion ACTUALLY means. Compassion does not mean I owe you.

Want to know if someone is a narcissist? It is pretty simple, set a boundary and say NO. Their reaction is very telling. I see a lot of narcs in this thread citing compassion as the reason to walk all over providers.
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Ariana 06:06 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What if its a single mother? How sympathetic can you be? Maybe shes working 2 jobs? Maybe they are widowed. Some of you all need to stop being so damn judgemental.
Maybe she was the victim of a rape that produced that child and then she went on to college to get her life together and now she is an award winning journalist who has to go to Afghanistan for 2 months to cover the war.....YADDA YADDA YADDA.

Or maybe she is not. Maybe she is a mooch who doesn’t want to be a parent
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Ariana 06:07 AM 12-11-2019
Sorry I am loving coming up with the fake scenarios in my head for a laugh
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Cat Herder 06:27 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Sorry I am loving coming up with the fake scenarios in my head for a laugh
Understood. I was verbally assaulted by a dependapotamus just this morning for suggesting that maybe her "sitter" with two degrees doesn't like being called that and would like to spend some time with her own children while school is out for Christmas break. That she may value the time with her kids more than what DPPS was willing to pay to get away from hers.

'Tis the season.
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Ariana 08:57 AM 12-11-2019
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Understood. I was verbally assaulted by a dependapotamus just this morning for suggesting that maybe her "sitter" with two degrees doesn't like being called that and would like to spend some time with her own children while school is out for Christmas break. That she may value the time with her kids more than what DPPS was willing to pay to get away from hers.

'Tis the season.
Oh goodness Entitled doesn’t even come close to describing this mentality.

Sending you lots of holiday cheer (and spiked eggnog) to get you through
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Unregistered 12:57 PM 01-28-2020
I am a licensed childcare home, I let parent's know yes I can choose to operate within these hours but it does not mean your child can be in care for that amount of time, I have the hours set like this because I do live by several of companies that are open later, 1st shift, second shift and third shift meaning they can choose the time; example 2pm-10pm 30 min total travel time because the jobs are less than 10 mins from me, where as someone who is looking for 7:30-5:30 and work down town they will have 8 hours of care plus and hour travel time 30 mins there and 30 mins back giving them 10 hours of care. I also offer extend care and week-end care.
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Unregistered 07:16 PM 05-12-2021
Wow.

Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
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Cat Herder 04:01 AM 05-13-2021
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow.

Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Work in childcare for a while, then come back. Not everyone who gives birth is a good person.

This is our watercooler. We do what is right for the children in our care and we vent to one another about the BS we put up with from parents as stress relief so we don't take that frustration home to our families. We are human, just like you.
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Blackcat31 07:29 AM 05-13-2021
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Work in childcare for a while, then come back. Not everyone who gives birth is a good person.

This is our watercooler. We do what is right for the children in our care and we vent to one another about the BS we put up with from parents as stress relief so we don't take that frustration home to our families. We are human, just like you.
And why are we bad people for not wanting to care for a child for 11.5 hours a day??? Parents always start telling us how awful we are when we don't want to do THEIR job. Hmmm...
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Blackcat31 12:04 PM 05-13-2021
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow.

Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Good! I don’t want to raise any one else’s child.

I want to provide quality care for them while their parent is working.

Raising them is not in MY job description.
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Unregistered 04:37 PM 05-13-2021
I know in centers in WI theres a 10 hr limit. Like we had to get a variance for any child who needed longer care (like the childs whos mom worked 10 hrs, and had a half hr commute each way)
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Unregistered 10:08 AM 05-14-2021
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow.

Most of you are terrible people and shouldn't be allowed to help raise anyone's children.
Welp, you caught me.
Here I was trying to raise the whole neighborhood with my wacky ways.

I'll go back to hiding in my hole. My bad.
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girlmomma 06:28 AM 05-21-2021
I once had a young lady reach out to me when I first opened. She asked my hours, at the time they were 6-6. She said she would need care from 6-6 three days a week and asked for a discount. I said “you pay for the spot.” The woman said “okay, I’ll bring child while I go to the gym on my days off and do errands,” which we all know is code for, you’ll have my child 12 hours a day, 5 days/week. I finally told the young lady I wasn’t interested.

Taking care of one child all day is exhausting, I wish parents could imagine taking care of 4-8 or even more! Unless there is a family emergency, I absolutely will not keep a child from open to close. My hours are now 7-5:30 and because of this forum, I’ve debated on changing rates based on pick up times in the future.
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Tags:behavior problems, behavioral issues, blackcat, bonding, estrangement, hours - too long, hours of operation, long day, long hours in care, parent - its a verb, parental responsibility, single mom excuse
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