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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Scary Situation/ Client That Just Termed
hgonzalez 11:45 AM 01-08-2013

I had a client that had two children here, their last day was last Friday. They moved on to a 'cheaper' daycare (their words).

Today I read in the local online paper that there was a crazy domestic/party dispute in the house next to their new daycare provider about a week ago. The article also stated that there was a party going on and they moved it to their neighbor's house.
I don't know for sure if the 'neighbor' was the daycare provider's home or not. I do know that the man that was arrested was in a house on the same block.

Anyway, an adult male snapped and came back to the party with a gun and pointed it in the face of his girlfriend and her child and told eyeryone to lay on the floor or he was going to kill them all. This fellow has now been released and according to the article 'has promised not to bother his girlfriend and stay away from the home'.

Okay...this is scaring the heck out of me. What if this guy comes back and the kids are outside and he goes bonkers again? Should I tell my former client that this all went on? I don't want their kids back, but I also don't know if I can sleep at night knowing this guy could come back and innocent children could get hurt in the process. My former client lives in a different town and probably will not read about this incident. Should I contact their licensor?

We all know how well those 'order for protections' work. I read horror stories in the paper all the time. I know this is not my responsibility, but I feel weird about it. What would you do?

Sprouts 11:51 AM 01-08-2013
I would feel conflicted as well..but think about it, if something were to happen would that change your actions now??

do you share facebook or anything? Can you post it somehwere she can see it with out making it obvious? I dunno how to word an email directly to the parent with out seeming your trying to get her back lol....i guess you could say "I am not trying to get you guys back, we have a potential family, i just wanted you to read this..."
daycare 11:56 AM 01-08-2013
I would just leave it......

I dont know what my neighbors do and I am sure there have been some really ugly situations that have occurred. The only difference is that their issues have not been posted for the public to read.

If you feel you have to say anything at all, maybe you can just call her and say OMG are the kids ok after what happened next to their daycare? Hopefully they did not see or hear anything? I just wanted to make sure they are ok.........She may have heard about it.....
hgonzalez 12:14 PM 01-08-2013
I know that alot of their neighborhood kids go to daycare there and am worried that there may be a connection as in the 'girlfriend's son' being there. I know people sit back and don't say anything and then something happens and then they regret it. I don't want that kind of guilt, nor do I want anything to happen to innocent kids (or anyone for that matter).

I may contact our licensor and have her check in with the daycare. IMO the daycare provider should have contacted her clients to let them know of the incident, and what precautions they were taking but they probably did not contact a new client (my former client).

Logged out for privacy 06:05 PM 01-08-2013
... But since she willingly left your care, it is not your place to go out of your way to contact her because even you said that you do not know all the facts. It's not good for not only the providers business but your business as well to contact their daycare parents because the provider may see it as you trying to lure their clients (AKA the provider's livelyhood) away- which could cause a whole can of worms not only between you two but you and other providers in the area. For all you know the provider may have told all the parents about the incident- thought they may not have to legally because it may not have happen in their home or during business hours.

Also, I know your heart is in the right place and it seems like you really care for the family but you need to think about all the possible things that may arise. Even though there is a chance the parent may be greatful that you told them (if they didn't already know) about the incident, she may find it desperate and even creepy that you called her after she left your program to tell her about something bad about her choice in daycares- parents get very defensive when you show any judgement about their parenting choices. Some people may even see it as unprofessional since you do not know anything about the providers involvement (if any) in this incident and since it was a previous daycare family that left your daycare for that provider and think you are just trying to scare her back- I know that is not your intent but it can be seen that way.

You can pick your house and your neighborhood but you can't always pick your neighbors (unless you run the H.O.A.). Any provider would hate it if another provider brought up something that your neighbors did (that you had NO control over and that is NOT their business) infront of or directly to your clients which may cause them to leave. I cannot image the stress that this provider is already going through due to this incident in fear of parents being freaked out, leave and leaving them not being able to stay open; not to mention their concern for the family if they were close friends with their neighbors.

If your do this and are not careful and the parent confronts the provider, she may report you to licensing for slander and they may even put you on probation or take your FCC liscense away for unfair/unprofessional practices- you never know in this world! So for you, your family, and your business's sake it's best to just keep out of it.
laundrymom 07:46 PM 01-08-2013
I would call and see if she saw the article. That you were worried about the kids
julie 10:18 PM 01-08-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I would call and see if she saw the article. That you were worried about the kids
This is what I would do. It doesn't have anything to do with business, I think. Your gut feeling was that you cared about the safety of her kids and were thinking of her. As a parent, I would want to know.
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