Daycare.com Forum Force of Nature Disinfectant

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-09-2019, 09:17 AM
MamaG2903's Avatar
MamaG2903 MamaG2903 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 35
Default Can I Do Anything Other Than Terminate?

I've been doing daycare for about 10 years and stick to 2 toddlers and then get kids on and off the bus, because I prefer to be legally unlicensed. So my turnover is pretty regular due to kids going to school full time, every few years. I don't know why, but it seems that every new pair of toddlers are more spoiled and indulged than the last!

Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes &#128580 to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it.

Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂

I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-09-2019, 09:31 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,199
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaG2903 View Post
I've been doing daycare for about 10 years and stick to 2 toddlers and then get kids on and off the bus, because I prefer to be legally unlicensed. So my turnover is pretty regular due to kids going to school full time, every few years. I don't know why, but it seems that every new pair of toddlers are more spoiled and indulged than the last!

Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes &#128580 to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it.

Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂

I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️
I think you already know the answer.


Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-09-2019, 09:54 AM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,570
Default

As hard as it is to give notice, I agree with BC, especially when it comes to our own health. If you have a family that isn't willing to acknowledge there are issues you need to both work on together to fix, then nothing will ever change. You'll be more stressed and you'll get sicker.
Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-09-2019, 10:04 AM
MamaG2903's Avatar
MamaG2903 MamaG2903 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 35
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
As hard as it is to give notice, I agree with BC, especially when it comes to our own health. If you have a family that isn't willing to acknowledge there are issues you need to both work on together to fix, then nothing will ever change. You'll be more stressed and you'll get sicker.
Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!
Thank you! I'm terrible about putting myself first but yes, it feels like it's time to face the music. I've been waffling on it for the last week or so because I'm ridiculous and worry they won't be able to find care elsewhere... Even though clearly that's not my problem! I'm too empathetic for my own good most of the time 😶
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-09-2019, 02:33 PM
Valerie928's Avatar
Valerie928 Valerie928 is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: New York
Posts: 224
Default

I was in this same predicament last year. I had to term. It was just too much and I started to resent the parents. I took my time choosing better families to work with. Currently my situation is way better. Not perfect but the kids in my care have parents that try. Good luck to you!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-10-2019, 06:41 AM
rosieteddy's Avatar
rosieteddy rosieteddy is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,240
Default

I did not listen to my body.I had a very difficult group one child in particular.She cried constantly and didn't nap well.She would set the tone for the day .Others started crying when she started.I kept saying oh it'll get better then the youngest infant cried whenever he was put down.I did tell the parents that things needed to change.They were no help.Finnally that Feb .I actually had a heart attack.The stress of each day ws to much.I ended up retiring earlier than I wanted .I can't help thinking if I had just terminated the first child things would have worked out.My advice would be to give 2 weeks notice and if no improvement call it.I was close to retirement but you may want to work longer your health is important.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-10-2019, 07:37 AM
MamaG2903's Avatar
MamaG2903 MamaG2903 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 35
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie928 View Post
I was in this same predicament last year. I had to term. It was just too much and I started to resent the parents. I took my time choosing better families to work with. Currently my situation is way better. Not perfect but the kids in my care have parents that try. Good luck to you!
It's one of the hardest parts about this job! I'm super selective about who I'll take, given that I can only take 2 full timers - man, this family really snowed me over! I've hung in there for 9 months with them but it's gotten drastically bad in the last 2 months for some reason. I've decided not to even replace these two and stick with one fulltimer and the 2 before and after schoolers. I'm working towards closing all together but I'm not quite ready yet!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-09-2019, 10:01 AM
MamaG2903's Avatar
MamaG2903 MamaG2903 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 35
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I think you already know the answer.


Thank you! I take termination super seriously so I always second-guess myself when I think it might be time!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
deposit - forfeited, siblings - termination, terminate, terminate - how to, terrible 2's

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Expecting a Baby, Have to Terminate a DCK Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 11 07-27-2017 04:27 PM
What Kind Of Excuses Have You Use To Terminate A Family (Gently!)? LovetheSun Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 18 01-07-2015 11:09 AM
Do You Refund Deposits If You Terminate For Cause? Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 13 01-28-2014 04:45 PM
How Often Do You Terminate? My4SunshineGirlsNY Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 17 02-15-2011 07:56 PM
Need to Terminate ASAP busymomof2 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 11 10-30-2010 03:52 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:21 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming