Does anyone else feel guilty or struggle with taking time off and having parents upset. I know this sounds so silly but I have the hardest time making, keeping or attending important appointments for fear of taking time off. I don’t have a back up person for things like this. How do you guys overcome this anxiety? I took off July 4th and 5th. Then had a vacation schedule September 9th-13th (first vacation since I’ve started doing daycare a little over 2 years ago) and now have to take October 7th off for behavioral therapy appt for my son. My husband is not his biological parent and they said I have to be there for the 1st assessment appt and then my husband can take him to his following appts. I’ve neglected seeing an ENT (for hearing loss), my annual female doctor visit and my husband takes our children to their ped appts but I would also like to attend these appts. This sounds insane as I’m writing this out that I feel like I’m taking too much time off. I don’t have a limited amount off stated in my contract and only 5 paid days off, paid holidays and any days outside of that are unpaid. Anyone else struggle with this?

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I still feel some guilt, but not as much as I used to.

I'm usually open on Columbus Day, but I had to make an appointment and was able to get in on that day. All my families except 1 have that day off. I was thinking "great! It won't affect as many families as me having to go another day. Win for everybody!" But, I'm a little scared to tell this one dcm, because she loves having days without her kids when she's not working. I know she's going to be disappointed.

I look at it like this:

While I hate causing inconveniences for my families, they chose a home daycare. I would hope that means that they understand that I also have appointments and other obligations (just like they do) that sometimes cause an inconvenience. If they want guaranteed care with no closures, they can pay the premium prices at a center - although, even they still have closures. The center in my town is closed more than I am.

I took several days this summer where I closed down just to spend time with my kids and I didn't feel bad one bit. Thinking of all the times parents brought their kids to me while they had a day off and took time for themselves made it easy for me to not feel bad

I also have a section on back up care in my policies. It basically states that they are responsible for back up care and that I will try to give as much notice as possible, but there may be times when it is last minute.

I also don't charge when I close, so that also helps me not feel as guilty.

Try not to feel bad! I know it's hard and I struggle with it, too. You need to take care of yourself and your obligations, too

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I just closed or closed early every other Wednesday this summer so that I could take care of all my appt. Then once that was done I went on vacation. I choose Wednesday because I only had one child that day when I made the appts. I offered to let her come on Tuesdays instead-but DCM turned me down, she was not working but she was looking for a job. (I offered because I do not charge when I am closed and it meant more income to me.)

As the summer went on, I added a child but that DCM was told upfront what days I was going to be closed.

I am now caught up on all my appts and won't have another until my six months dental in Jan.

I try not to feel bad, but there are some families that try a guilt trip.

I have all pt families, when I announced my days, I only told the family that it affected, I know that if I had told another family, that DCM would have flipped knowing I was closing that much.

To help me, I use to track the number of days that I closed for any reason. (illness, appt... ) It reassured me that I was not going overboard.

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I used to feel terribly guilty. I always gave them a lot of notice and tried to group appointments all on one day or make the appt. for the end of the day so I only needed to close an hour early. When I felt really guilty was when I got sick and had to take time off with very short notice. It's hard! But it's very important to schedule self-care in along with everyone else in your household!!

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In the beginning, yes, I stressed a bit thinking I had to be open as much as possible.

Now, I couldn't care less what they think. What switched my thinking? Because I refuse to neglect my own needs in favor of those who do not appreciate the sacrifices we make for them. May sound harsh- but it's true.
Over the last several years, I treat this as business only. I have no vested interest in families other than an arm's length business relationship.

I do what's best for the business and what IS best is to keep myself happy, healthy and sane.

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I feel guilty.

I go out of my way to schedule appointments on the weekend or on vacation weeks (one week in the summer and the week between Christmas and NY.) My summer "vacation" was anything but. It was filled with appointments and medical procedures for DH.

I get burnt out as what ends up happening is all of my holidays and vacations are not true holidays or vacations - they are tending to appointments. Same with the weekend. Weekends are spent going to the appointments I can't do during the week then prepping and grocery shopping for the next work week. It's insane. The last "fun" thing I did on a day off was in MAY.

DH really wanted us to take DS on a day date when DD is in school as that had never happened before. I do take my families schedules into consideration if I can and try to plan around that. I looked through school schedules (teacher clients + many of my kids have older siblings so I try to align days off with school days off as parents have already made back up plans.)

I found a day in October that worked, gave 30 days notice and a nanny who picks up read the notice and says "I think that will be okay because XYZ."

Ummm. No. There is no "I think." I am closing. I am not charging.

I was pretty offended, but tried to see things from her side (nanny position vs self employment position and the differing rules each role has.)

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I also want to add that I have had almost all of my families inconvenience me and my schedule at some point without caring how it affected me.

A negative way to look at it? Sure. But still true.

If your families are the same way, just another reason to not feel bad

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I have been doing this for over 12 years and it doesn't matter if you do have an assistant, some parents still get upset if you take time off for yourself. Self-care is extremely important in this industry. We spend so many hours taking care of little people that we neglect our own physical, mental and social needs. There has to be a balance between taking care of ourselves and the needs of our clients. That may look different from one provider to the next because we are all different and have different responsibilities. Having a clear policy regarding time off and making sure that you discuss your circumstances with the clients prior to enrollment may help free your anxiety in this area. If parents enroll knowing that you have to also care for the needs of your family, they cant be upset because they were informed.

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We have a new forum that you should say hello and participate with us on at https://forum.daycare.com/

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