Okay, so my issue is with the family of one of my daycare families. They recently moved down the street from me...like I can see their house. They used to live in a few towns over with a 30 minute commute. Anyway my issue is that DCB now arrives 1hr earlier and leaves 15 minutes later so he is here from 8-5:45 which is fine as my hours are from 8-6 with out contracting hours (stupid me) so I see Mum in her driveway she gets home at 4:30 or earlier most days, and Dad works shifts very similar to my husband so I know he is off most weekdays or home before 3;00. It just really bothers me that these parents don't spend the time with their son who is only 1. I also asked DCM if her work hours changed as She drops off early and arrives home earlier- she said she likes 'her' time and she pays for the day so I shouldn't worry how she spends it- ugh
Is it just me being annoyed, should I say something, can I change just her to contracted hours?? Or should I just forget about it, like she said she pays for her day.
Also, I am one of the lucky ones and have a rather large waiting list so if I did lose her no worries- but to term over this seems too much on my part

Reply

I stopped keeping score a long time ago.

It will make you (me) crazy, bitter and resentful. That will lead to burnout really fast.

IMHO, You have to decide if you provide services for ONLY working hours or open-close hours.

I don't want to have to police and enforce every minute of every day so... I stopped keeping score.

I know some deal with this by adding a price to later days and a discount for early days.

Again, I don't like having to police, record or enforce it. I don't have help and will forget.

Simple works best for me.

Reply

Maybe send home articles in her bag that show studies of kids that spent more time at home with their parents do better then kids who spend a majority of time at daycare.
Other then that, I don't know. You could wait a few weeks, and term for some other reason. I don't know what to tell you other then that. I know it's frustrating.But you know how termed parents can be, with the extra hassles. Now that you're neighbors, you'll be seeing alot of each other !

Reply

It's just different views on "Parenting" if I can even call it that. You have the SAHM view, she has the Working Mom view.

So long as she pays you for the hours you are working, whatever.

I too shake my head at what a lot of these parents are missing, but they are so wrapped up in their own selfish world to see it.

They're probably working on making baby #2 for YOU to raise.

Reply

Don't send home articles about the subject. Thats really passive aggressive. You already know how she feels about it. Go to contracted hours or just leave things as is. You can't change parents most of the time so just figure out what you are willing to deal with. Your other parents are probably doing this, you just can't see them.

Reply

Thanks ladies I guess these types of parents are all over the place and spreading like the plague. I actually lucked out with the other parents most days zthey are here by 8:30 gone by 4:30 no complaints. One DCM even takes no lunch break to get here to pick up her son by 4:30
I was thinking of terming them because the whole neighbor issue, I have always said switching neighbors is a lot more difficult than finding new daycare clients.. Also I have never really liked them but adore their son!

Reply

There is a six and a quarter hour per week of awake time service as a result of their change in locations. You are most likely really feeling the amount of additional work you are doing now. Six plus awake hours a week is a HUGE change.

They are keeping him there more for a reason. That reason is most likely the same reason this is hard for you. It's a LOT more day care. At his age it's easily equivallent to a full day of awake time day care in addition to what you were doing with the old schedule.

You have to decide what services you can offer. If you feel uncomfortable offering services to parents when they aren't working then you have to decide to make that a deal breaker with your contracts. I tried for about 15 years doing this and had SOME parents who would abide but MANY just hid it from me. If you set this as a bottom line you will get a lot of parental lying by ommission and direct lying. If their cost is the same regarless of attendance you will get a lot of parents who will just deceive you into believing that they are working when they are off.

Also... really consider if you want to do ten hour days. For me, that's way too much. I cap mine at a nine hour day. The extra hour a day of awake time is too much for my program. My kids do better with a max of nine but most are at about 8.5 total. That nets me a better day care client and an easier kid. Parents having about five awake hours a day with their kid seems to be the magical formula in my program for having attached parents who are comfy being parents and easy to work for on my end.

Maybe with these guys you just need to tell them you are raising rates across the board. There is a way for them to remain at the old rates if they would like. If they want the old schedule back they can stay at their rate but the extra 1.25 hours will be an additional 25 dollars per week.

If they agree to the old schedule CONTRACT them at those hours with a steep fine if they go over.

Reply

I now ask parents what are the hours they are looking for. The funny thing is, is that when I ask them what hours, they always ask me back what are my hours, it goes on for a few minutes. I don't tell people my hours because i know that if they don't tell me their hours that means they want to dump their kids off all day so they don't have to deal with them. I agree with nannyde, anything after 9 hours is way too much for a child to be a someones home, and kids become whinny because they want to go home.
Do you have other children that are late at your house. If you don't then change your times. Acually, I would now say that your closing time is 5pm. I'm sorry but once you become a mom, there is no more "me" time, its called "spending time with my children time" I can't stand self centered parents.

Reply

I do the same thing. Most of my parents don't even know that I'm open at 6 for the ones with a later drop off. And the ones that pick up earlier don't know that I'm open until 6pm. I'm not keeping it from them, they just never asked, they told me the hours they needed and that was it. And I cannot believe parents like this. Why have kids if you don't want to spend time with them?? Makes no sense to me.

Reply

That's the #1 reason why I don 't provide care for neighbors. For some reason it irritates me that they'd rather be home chillin than be with their child.

Reply

I haven't been offering home daycare very long, but I've already figured out it's often not worth saying anything unfortunately!

Bottom line is some parents are that way and really don't care - it's free time for them - and I agree with nannyde if you say anything there is a strong chance they will just start lying. These parents being down the street from you makes if more difficult, but they'd find way around it if they are really wanting that time to themselves.

Reply

Pretty much all of my daycare parents do this. They even tell me most of the time that they are home otherwise i will see one parents car in his driveway when we go on outings since they live very close to us on the main road. I don't really mind so much because they are paying for their time here but with one child it bugs me because he is the most difficult baby and is always the first one here at 7 am and the last one at about 530 pm. I want to tell them that I am only doing 9 hour days, but I know the dad works across town and then has to pick the brother up from a relatives daycare across town also. I am frustrated with it, and often mom is off at 230 pm and I have seen her out driving many times but the kid is NEVER picked up until 5 or 530. Should I just do the 9 hour days and tell them? This child screams all day long unless he is held and I really don't want to term him but it is very stressful on me.

Reply

I agree... With the long day it is too much for this little monkey he is the first one here and always the last to leave- and the Mum doesn't blink an eye. Another DCM has even mentioned that he has such long days poor guy. As of today I am informing her that her new pick up time is 5:00 no later-
Any advice on how to write that out? If she fuses about that I will have a better reason to term

Reply

This is my take on it too. As long as I have a contact number from them, I could care less what they do with their time.

Reply

Could be worse. (could be what happened to me yesterday)...... If Dad is home some days, they could be telling you, well our money is tight and Dad is going to keep the kids home one more day a week. My family went from 4 days to 3 days, two weeks ago. Now from 3 days to 2 days. Money wise losing $100 a months hurts, but I know they are moving as soon as their house sells anyway.

Reply

I have one dad that does this same thing and it drives me crazy when I dwell on it. He gets off work at 1pm - sometimes earlier. BUT leaves his daughter here till 5pm on the dot. Sometimes I get lucky and its 4:59 when he comes! He is not ashamed either. He says he slept all afternoon or was watching movies or whatever else he needs to do. Also the mom has Fridays off but they still leave her here ALL day WTH?

It wouldn't bug so much if any other kids were still here but ALL my other kids are gone by 3:40 every day except her. They live close by too. It was really making me mad for awhile, but I really like this little girl and I just have to remind myself that they are paying me and they are just a "different" type of parent. I myself was the type that would RUN to get my kids ASAP when I got off work or if I had a day off work (even if sick) I'd keep them home with me... but thats just me... I actually LOVE being with my kids.

I feel your pain. I havent figured out a solution yet to this problem. Its just a plague of weird parenting that is going on. One of my daycare friends actually has in her policy that her childcare is ONLY for when they are at work or school and MUST keep their kids home if they are not doing one or the other. It sounds really harsh though & she stresses out all the time about it. She doesn't keep families very long because of it... sometimes not by her choice.

So I agree with Catherder... it will just make you crazy, bitter and resentful which will lead to burnout really fast if you let it bother you too much. Its mostly sad for the kid who doesnt get much quality time with her parents ... and annoying to me because I'd love to be off early sometimes!!! lol

Reply

I agree. There are days where I am having a hard day and it bugs me, but that is my own issue to get through. They pay me for a service. I do not judge them because I have been on both sides. I had days where my son was at daycare and I had the day off, but I used those days to catch up on rest and clean so I can have quality time with him in the afternoon. I understand it.....I know some providers think it is terrible, but I'm in the business of taking care of other people's children, so that's what I do..........outside of my home it's their business.....

Reply

This^^^^. Great post Cat!! Especially the first two paragraphs!

Reply

I just wonder if you told a parent that their childcare would be 5 dollars an hour per child. But they would get a discount for when they are working or going to school. I think once I get my daycare up and running I am charging by the hour. Might hurt the bottom line occasionally but hopefully that will draw parents that want to be with their children as much as possible.

Reply

I didn't read the entire thread so I apologize if this is repeated but How far do they live from work?

If they live 15 minutes from work and they work 8am - 430pm, you tell her that you contract hours therefore the old hours where the half hour commute was needed is no longer applicable. I would send a note home stating that come Monday, August 22nd, your son can come to care 30 minutes before you are scheduled to be at work and must be picked up 30 minutes after their shift is over.

I don't let parents pad daycare time. When I meet with them, I find out where they live, where they work and what their work hours are. I then tell them that they have 15-30 minutes travel time depending where they work. That's all they get. I charge $10 per hour for anything beyond their normal scheduled hours. It doesn't matter if they are 5 minutes or 55 minutes late, it's $10 and it's $1 per minute if it's after closing time.

Stand your ground. Tell these parents they lost "their" time when they had a baby! Time to be a parent now!

If she gives you attitude or won't follow your rules, term. Someone on your waiting list would be extatic!

Reply

I honestly would love some me time, but then Im with my kids ALL THE TIME!

dont sweat it!

Reply

As the parent of a toddler (21 months) in daycare--this is my take on the child being in daycare while the parent is at home.

My son is an only child. He has been in daycare since he was 4 months old--that decision broke my heart, but that's what we had to do.

As he got older, we realized he THRIVED being around other children. He is in daycare from 8 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. If I get off a couple hours early, I will go home, take care of the chores, and then go get him. it's not because I don't want to raise my child, or I don't want to play with him---I LOVE spending time with him. I also know that he loves the other kids he spends the day with, and he gets upset when he has to leave his little friends--I let him have his fun while I get some stuff done before he gets home.

I guess what I'm saying is don't judge every parent that does this--I am also in school, and sometimes I need a day off to study--and he goes to daycare, and I usually pick him up early on those days.

Reply

As a parent and as a provider, I can see both sides of the spectrum. The only time I would go home and do a few things was during the nap time. It was much better for her to get a full rested nap than to wake her up and tote her around in a car.

It's a 6 of 1, half dozen of another type of issue.

Parents pay therefore they think they can utilize every minute of the providers time.

Providers should only be used for the hours needed whether that be for work or school.

Not to sit on your butt, have your morning latte, read the newspaper and chat with your sister for an hour.

Providers need time off too!!!!!

Reply

When I was a substitute teacher, I sometimes had half days. I still took my children to the provider for the full day (the contracted hours that we set aside for when I worked full days). I did this because when I worked mornings I would get off during nap time. I wasn't going to wake my children up from a nap nor interrupt my provider's break. This also gave me time to get a few things done, but I mostly did it for the sake of my children.

I can see it from both sides. It would be hard for me to physically see a parent at home and not have them come get their kid. But I also don't want parents coming and going at all hours of my day. It upsets my schedule as well as some of the more anxious children who want to be picked up.

In your case, with this neighbor, I would be upset. So I suggest you think about what kind of stress this is going to put on you and do something to lessen your stress. Whether it's terming or just forgetting about it.

Reply

Re: the parent of a 20 month old....
I get the wanting to get something's done around the house, shower, and odds and ends with out having a toddler under foot BUT when you do it everyday... It makes me question what can be more important than spending quality time with your child- these years go fast and I would never want to look back and regret the lack of time I spent with my child.
I don't think painting your toes, sitting on your porch with a latté is important daily tasks, sure once and awhile great- but hey that's just me.
;o)
Anyway, it is what it is... And she pays her daycare bill

Reply

I agree with you. It seems pretty obvious that the "me" time is more important to this one.

Reply

I don't understand this "contracted hours" stuff. Its not a sarcastic question, honestly, I don't get it. So someone can come at 6am and stay until 4pm, but someone else comes from 8am to 6pm. So basically, you have kids in care from 6 am to 6pm. Dang, that's a loooong day. We are a center, but we are open from 730am to 530pm. 10 hours is plenty, I don't know how you can do 12 or even more. Wouldn't it just be easier to have set hours for all parents? Seems like the home daycare ladies are always stressing over the contracted hours, a stress you all really don't need. Do you make more money this way? Or is it just to accomodate each individual parents work schedule? Its a serious question, not trying to be snarky. I just think its too stressful, and too much "parent early/parent late" drama.

Reply

I see both sides of this and don't really have a solid belief either way. On one hand, they are paying for the time since that's the way this provider has it set up (no contracted hours). On the other, we all love when parents pick up early making our day shorter or lighter or whatever and over 9 hours a day in care is tough on kids.

My issue with this particular situation as described by the OP is that they are using longer hours than before and clearly don't need them. If a child is there the longest with no other playmates, then what good does it do him? However, if this is a random and sporadic occurance, then it could really mess with the child to be picked up at 2:30 one day and 4:30 another day.

I feel that the OP and DCPs need to agree on contracted hours because it's what's good for the child and their relationship. I might present it as it's either contracted hours at the current rate or an additional fee. Allow the parents to choose. If they choose the fee, then the OP has to be comfortable seeing the cars in the driveway.

Reply

This is a great idea! I don't have set weekly rates and base the weekly rate on the total number of hours and the departure time. The later they want to pick up, the more expensive it gets.

Reply

there is a difference between doing it sometimes and doing it all the time. Its the doing it all the time that drives me crazy (now I stop it before it gets this way) I understand wanting time to do things (I have parents that do it now but they are upfront with it and only use me once a week) but these are the same parents that when I need a day off to "catch up" they will complain how they have to spend the day with their kids or can't find someone to watch them.

Reply

I'm open from 7am to 5pm (I don't tell parents this) I ask what are the hours they need and then I tell them whether or not their schedual will work for me. By offering them the hours your open, you are allowing them to dump their kids off all day.

Reply

I have this problem right now with two parents. The truth is they really don't want to spend time with them and probably shouldn't have had them to begin with. The funny thing is you hear about bad sitters all the time, but if the general public knew the percentage of bad parents like we do, they would be horrified.

I would just write that your schedule is changing, and mention its a long day for her child. She can't refuse, those are your hours and charge her if she is late.

Reply

Country, just curious, but if a parent needs 7-5 care, do you turn them away? Is there a max # of hours, say 8 hours, that you limit each family to? I have many parents who drop off @ 730 on the dot and pick up @ 530 on the dot. I don't consider it dumping, just my job to care for children between 730 and 530. If someone comes later or leaves earlier, I just think "OK, cool". Do you charge them more if they want to come from 7 to 5? If you make more $ this way, that's great and I would totally get that.

Reply

It is a long day, but for Public Safety and Hospital Staff that IS their schedule...

Four 12 hour shifts on...then 3 days off. Rotating days each week. The kids were here an average of 14 hours due to commute time. Depending on how big the bags under Mom's eyes were, they would also sleep over occassionally as a Professional Courtesy (especially interns).

The rest of the crews are 24 on/48 off. I accommodated A shift and C shift since I was still working B shift.

I did these schedules for years as a single Mom.

Those fields have the highest divorce rates and are almost IMPOSSIBLE to find coverage for so we provided childcare for each other. It is not like most jobs where you get off work at the same time everyday. If you are with a patient or on a call...you stay until you are done, the paperwork is completed and your area/vehicle is turned over to your relief. That could take HOURS or DAYS days DEPENDING on what happened or with debriefing. You can't walk away to give your provider a quick call, either.

It is exhausting and constant policing, recording, enforcing and adapting. I paid my dues... I like simple, consistency and calm, now.

Reply

Wow Cat, I don't know how you do it. God bless you for accomodating these folks.

Reply

I used to do 7-5 for the same rate as someone needing 7:30-4:30. But I ran into the parents that would drop off or pick up when ever they wanted in the 7-5 time frame with no notice, or very little notice. It became to chaotic. I now do the contracted hours to avoid this. They are expected to arrive within 15 after drop off time and no earlier than 15 mins before pick up time on their contract. If it's an emergency or preplanned appointment then I can deal with one day, but not every day at a different time. I only contract hours between 7-5.

Also, I now charge for a FT rate up to 45hours per week. Anything over 45 hours per week is $5 per hour. They can use it, but they pay more. My FT rate is extremely competitive. I'm basically charging my bare minimum for that number of hours that I could ever possibly offer. Even if they used 50 hours, they'd be paying less than what most providers charge. I don't do this soley for the money. I LOVE having a full house of toddlers all day, but I also want them to have family time. They need their parents.

Reply

I have been doing child care for nearly eighteen years in my home. I have almost all only children.

In my career I have never met a child birth to five who would prefer to be in child care over being at home with their Mommy. Every single kid I have ever had (excluding children who are abused and/or neglected) would MUCH rather be with their parents than be here.

I'm good but I'm not THAT good. My kids want to be with their parents. They want to be with them as much as possible. They would never choose my home in group care over being with their Mommy doing special one to one time.

It's all about what YOU do when you have your child with you. My day care parents are so in to their kids that the kids KNOW being with Mommy and Daddy is the best gig ever.

I never want to be a provider who offers a better gig than the parents. Kids need TIME... a lot of awake and FACE TIME with their parents.

This thought process you are describing is the "get out of jail free card" of parental thinking when it comes to child care. If you survey experienced providers, I think you would find that most (not all) BY FAR would tell you that a child of your kids age would much rather be home with you "doing chores" than being somewhere he has been for fifty hours a week ... week after week.

Day care SHOULD be fun and kids his age SHOULD enjoy their little mates... but... it can NEVER EVER EVER EVER replace the one to one time with their parents. They are little for such a short time... please please rethink this.

Of course parents are going to want some "me" time. They are going to steal away a few hours now and then to get stuff done or have a little break. That's completely understandable BUT please don't think that if your child really had a choice that they would not say "no me time" for you. The parent may need that but I haven't met a kid that is in day care fifty hours a week who would WANT that just to be with the same kids he's with the majority of his waking hours. Most kids would rather run to Walmart... go to the nail salon... do chores around the house... go to the bank or grocery WITH you than be with age mates he's around so much and cared for by non related adults.

Reply

I think there are two types of parents out there: those that want to spend time with their kids and will pick up as soon as they are off work and deal with errands/life accordingly and those who want nothing to do with their kids and work very hard to spend absolutely no time with their kids.

I have figured out I can not turn a parent/client into someone who wants to spend time with their kids. Even if I change my hours, charge them a ton, or term them.

If you can't handle living by a client (and thus being able to see what they are doing with their time) then term. I do care for neighbors and family and have my own ideas about how their kids will turn out and what they do with their time but this is my job and I can not change their parenting style.

I agree with Nannyde. If you try to tell them they can only have their kids at daycare when they are working they will just lie or hide what they are really doing. Making it impossible to find them in an emergency or when their kids are sick.

Reply

I used to have an open time and a close time but I found that since I was open for 12 hours, then parents would have their kids here for 12 hours and that didn't sit well with me. I switched to contracted hours and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. I don't think that many parents work Monday through Friday from 6:00am-6:00pm. I put that belief to the test when I decided to go to contracted hours. I found that not a single family needed to have 12 hours of care every day. I guess that it was assumed that since I was open for all of those hours, then they were going to get their money's worth from me..

Reply

Your child loves time with you more than his friends. Every kid I have ever had that fights mom on leaving is also the one asking for her all day. I can't explain it but its very true.

Reply

Have you noticed these are often the same parents that put their child to bed at 7:00 each night!

Reply

Those are the ones that love morning circle time, art and story time...here.

Once lunch and naptime is over they start looking to see who gets picked up first today...

As each parent comes and goes the stress level in the room gets palpable and they get physically clingy to me.

The last kid is always such an emotional mess if it takes over 20 minutes being "alone" (usually in my lap in the reading corner by THAT point)...

I always feel so bad for THAT kid (currently "that" child is also the first kid here everyday ).

Reply

YES!!!!! My 2 yr old daycare girl that gets picked up at 5pm, goes home to have dinner by 530pm, bath and bed by 630pm! That means her parents spend approximately one hour with her (not including travel time) per day. In the morning she is literally straight out of bed so I can't include any time spent in the morning. One hour per day!!!! I wonder sometimes what they do with her on weekends :-/

Reply

I did contracted hours BUt I never had more than 2 families at a time & both families that I cared for did not need me for more than 9 - 9 1/2 hours a day. I can see it being difficult if you have 4-5 families with totally different hours but both of my DC families needed hours that were similar. I didn't want them taking advantage & leaving their kids in care simply to run errands but was okay with it so long as they picked up at the end of their contracted hours & my contracted hours were about an hour after the parent was off work so they had plenty of time to run home, throw a load of laundry in or stop off at the grocery store, etc. I would have never accepted 2 families at the same time though with varying hours like you suggested. My family time is too important to me & I would not work 12 hour days or even 10 hour days for that matter. So really I think it's less stressful to have contracted, at least for me it was because my days were shorter. I would never want to say I am open until 5:30 or 6- why make my day longer if it is unnecessary? I was always finished by 4:45.

Reply

I open at 7 am and close at 6 pm. Most parents utilize just what they need and in 25 years, I have had very FEW take advantage and leave their kids longer than their work hours dictated. Most want to hurry home and spend time with their little ones, so contracting hours or keeping score was never an issue for me.

However, the one parent who did abuse the situation happened to live a few doors down from me. I swore I'd never watch a neighbor's child again, because it truly got unnerving! Dcd got home at 4 and would come home to take a nap. He'd be the last one to pick up and would arrive at 6 pm on the dot!

One day he didn't show...I could see his car parked in their driveway, so at 6:05, I called their house. No one answered, so I called mom. She didn't pick up her cell. I called the house several more times and FINALLY dcd picks up 30 minutes after I'd closed and said, "Oh sorry my alarm didn't go off and I was fast asleep."

I was expecting my 3rd child in a few months, so this was a convenient time to tell them I would not have room for their child once my baby was born. It was a little fib...but better than having any negative issues with my neighbors!

Reply

The open to close kids used to really bother me because I felt taken advantage of. I considered contracted hours but I didn't think it would work for me. Instead I raised my rates to the point where I still felt adequately compensated for a 10 hour day. I also raised my late fees and reduced my hours by 1 hour per day. I was 7-6 and I'm now 730 to 530.

I have to say....it has changed my perspective and my stress level considerably. I used to clock watch for pickups and now I only do that on "one of those days". lol I throughly enjoy my job each day because I'm not resentful of any child that is with me open to close. I feel a little sorry for them on days Dad lets it slip he didn't have to work but I really don't care anymore. He's paying me enough that I couldn't care less where he spends his day.

Reply

A lot of dif views and hours of care going on here. I didn't see anyone mention the fact that if a parent gets free daycre due to state assistance then they are not permitted to have a child in daycare unless they are working. Does anyone have that same rule if you have state clients? Here DMC can not go home to paint her toenails or hit the gym. She is required by law to pick her child up when she is done work. They are not even permitted to use daycare for Dr Appts. I mainly only have subs. clients so I have just always stuck to those guidlines. I don't want to risk not getting paid so I am strict about picking up within 30 mins of clock out. The state has had parents provide proof of their worked time in the past when they are suspicious then they question the provider asking if we knew and remind us that if the client isn't working we run the risk of not getting paid. So it comes down on us to be the enforcers. We only get paid $20 by the state per day. If I could set my own rate and have it paid I may not mind as much.

I have had state kids in here and DCM didn't even work that day. Once a DCM even came in flip flops, daisy dukes and a tank top! I asked is she was wearing that to work (they have uniforms) she told me no she would change into her uniform at work. (why not just dress for the day seesm a hassle) Then she called and said she would be late she had no choice and had to work over. I forgave the late fee and she shows up in the same skimpy outfit. (shes late why would she take even more time to change) The next week I find out she had gone to a theme park for the day and didn't even work at all. Free daycare to her and a forgiven fee for extra time past closing hours so she could go play with her friends for the day.

The other aspect I hate is when I have DCM call and ask if Johnny can stay for dinner so she can go out and eat with friends. I tell her no it is not permitted. Then she gets here and asked if he was fed dinner. I say "no we have not made dinner yet dinner is not served until daycare is closed but he did have a snack." She then informs me that now she will have to take him home and feed him hots dogs or fish sticks real quick because she isn't paying extra for him to eat at the restaurant. That happened OFTEN!

Fact is I never know when to trust a client. It's a shame how often people lie and for silly reasons even. Why not just pick up your child you have not seen all day and take them with you? I know if I only have an hour or 2 left before closing the odds of filling that slot with a drop in is slim BUT why should I provide care while parents play and I run the risk of being questioned or not paid. If the state paid more and didn't question the provider or punnish the provider I probably wouldn't mind as much. Too often I forgive fees and DCM had been done work early and was shopping not actually working over on demand. They lay guilt trips to avoid picking up their kids. MOST anyway. Some parents cherish the time with their kids but for some they are an inconvenience to parents.

Reply

AND let me add that I hate when parents try to drop kids off before you even open because they forgot to get gas and cigarettes after work yesterday!! I just told her she will have to come back after at 8:00 after she gets gas because I don't open until 8:00 AM! "but that's inconvenient for me gas is on the way to work besides I'm only 20 mins early what does it matter" It matters because this is MY time MY home not a drop off center. She doesn't have to be at work until 8:30 and it's a 10 - 15 minute drive! Not my problem that she forgot to get gas. She left but mad and mumbling under her breath. That is not fair that I be put in that position but she doesn't see it that way. All she sees is HER inconvenience due to HER forgetting to get gas for HER car and now it's MY fault?!

Reply

Yesterday my PT mom was supposed to pick up at 3. She texted me at 4:15 saying sorry she's late. I figured she was getting out of work late, which happens. When she got here she said she was at Hobby Lobby. I just smiled as she showed me the ball she "had to get him."

I was a little annoyed that she went shopping after he was supposed to be gone. Friday she picks up at 3 and I'm going to tell her he HAS to be gone by 3. He will be my last kid and I have things I want to do.

Reply

Thank you for this reassurance. I take one afternoon a week off to spend with my daughter. We run errands, do chores, etc. but also do fun things like go to the library, play outside, and go for walks. I love it but have sometimes wondered if I am messing up her schedule by doing it.

As a parent, I'd just like to say that it makes me sad that other parents do this. I can see doing it occasionally but doing it all the time I don't understand. No, I don't really get "me" time anymore, but in all honesty, I don't want it. "My" time now is the time that I get to spend with my child.

Reply

This just made me smile. A mom who actually WANTS to spend time with her child. I've been reading this thread and shaking my head......I've been a provider for almost 26 years and have dealt with this myself, more times that I can tell you. I ALWAYS ask myself why some of these parents even had children when all they seem to want to do is get away from them. I've even had parents who take a week off of work but still bring their child to daycare for the normal hours. I just do not understand that. I try to say 'so, are you planning something fun with so-and-so this week?'.....no, just some 'me' time...... I think to myself, maybe it's just me. I quit my job when my first born was a year old because I could not STAND being away from him 10 hours a day..... I just don't get it. It just breaks my heart for these children

Reply

^^^^
A lot of parents DO feel the same and it is great it is your 'Job' as a mum
However, there are some parents who think they need to get their 'Me' time in and good use of their $$. I doesnt bother me that they are here from open till close, no skin off my back- its my job and I love it- it breaks my heart for the children's sake

Reply

Oh exactly. I ditto that. I feel really sad for the children.

Reply

Thats terrible, but I get those same parents ALL the time and most are professional people. I had one last year that told me NOT to give her 3 year old a nap, which of course I refused to do because I knew what the real story was. She wanted him to go down early so she didn't have to spend any time with him.

Reply

!!! Here you go.......I've taken care of this little girl for 4 years now. She is almost 4 1/2 and starting preschool this fall.....She arrives here at 7am.....is picked up by her daddy at 4pm.....mom gets home at 4:30....dinner is at 5:30 and she is put to bed by 6:30.. ... the mom was complaining to me two weeks ago that she is awake and playing in there until 8:30....they have a kiddie monitor in her room to watch her every move.....I said 'you are STILL putting her down at 6:30 for the night??' She said 'well yes, we feel it's very important for kids to get as much rest as possible. That way they are healthier and happier'.........I said 'well, if she is playing around in there for 2 hours, why don't you spend some quality one-on-one time with her and bond?'......she said 'well, she needs her alone time.'......... what she REALLY meant to say was that SHE (the mom) needed that alone time......she spends 3 hours a day with her children (they have a son who is 1 now)....two hours in the evening and one in the morning .....and the mornings are rush, rush getting ready for work....... it just drives me crazy.

Reply

Stories like this make me so sad! I have 4 kids and before I did DC, I worked several different jobs. I got up, got the kids dressed, made breakfast, took them to school at 830am, take my youngest to DC at 845am and I was off to work by 9am.

Then at 3pm, I'd pick up my youngest at DC, pick up the others from school at 315pm, finish work at home, make dinner, do the shopping, do bathes, laundry, etc and still manage to read to them or watch a movie with them or even have a water balloon fight with them.

Parents need to realize that their kids NEED them and if they don't stop to make time for them now, they are lousy parents! My kids are now ages 7-15 and what I would give to go back when they NEEDED me. Now they are in the "expect" stage. They expect dinner and clean clothes and not much else. They are too busy playing with friends and occupying their own time rather than looking to me to occupy it for them.

Reply

I've done daycare since my oldest was just a year old. I've had a full daycare since then..then I had two more children.....I'd work hard all day taking care of the children but always, ALWAYS enjoyed spending personal time with my own children once the work day was over. They needed their mommy time and I made sure they had it. Even though it meant I was up late at night getting things done that I could have done when they were awake. My kids are all grown up now, and I am very, very close to them..even my 26 year old son calls me all the time to tell me he misses me and loves me.... I wanted my children to grow up knowing that they were very much wanted and very much loved.

Reply

Every child should be raised that way!

Reply

I don't care what parents do when they are not here. If they keep to their hours it is not my business. I would not care if they took two hours per day to do house work etc. Obviously, the rest would have to be a good fit, but I don't count that as my business.


I have been lucky to work with wonderful families. It also seems like I am one of the few who has had my kids in daycare before. I get needing time to unwind, do chores, regroup sometimes. That said I also always rushed to DC and ultimately quit working outside the home to start my own daycare- but I get it. Some parents need that. I am NOT a parent who could be away from my babies but some are. It does not make them bad parents!! (Obviously, everything must be taken into account.)

Also, who knows what she does at home. Maybe she works another job, is doing work from home, has other personal issues going on, etc.

Reply

I agree but I don't agree.

Honesty is key. You should know about all "jobs" the parents do...whether it be work, school, or work from home.

I currently have a DCM that works from home. Her child is part time Monday through Friday 9am - 12pm. Works great for her, works even better for me! She is here for "prime" hours. She gets to participate in all the activities, eat lunch and go home to nap so mom can work more.

I ask parents from the get-go what they do, where they work, where they live, the hours they work, etc. If a parent tells me they work 9am to 5pm and live 5 blocks from me but work clear actoss town, I say, "Ok, so you need care from 830 - 530pm, right?! I make the hours based on their need. Not on what they want. Plus I have a 9.5 hour cap per day per child.

No way am I getting taken advantage of and watching lil Johnny Boy for you from 5am to 530pm so you can have your latte, read the paper and make an hour long phone call to your mother all before you go into work!

Reply

I guess I don't feel taken advantage of if they stick to the contracted hours. Which does not mean open hours. It they are here and gone when they say they will be, the rest doesn't bother me!! It is when someone is late or early that I feel taken advantage of, but that is really rare. (Whew!)

And I don't think anything else they do is my business. I don't feel it dishonest if a parent has a second job and doesn't tell me, if they pay me on time. I don't think it is my business, doesn't affect me of their daycare. Luckily I have not yet had parents who want 10 hour days, though!

Reply

Honestly, I don't think what the parents are up to is any of the DCP's business as long as they pay on time and don't bring their kids in when they are sick etc. I can't believe that some DCPs would actually ask parents where they live/work and proceed them how much travel time they will have to get the kids to daycare - the nerve!!

I know a few posters have said that these are bad parents bc they don't want to spend time with the kids, but maybe you are being bitter and lazy? If you're watching the clock and can't wait for the parents to show up every day, you might be in the wrong profession! In this economy, there are many daycares that are itching to fill spots and it wouldn't matter if it was for 7 hours a day, 9 hours or 9 hours and 3 minutes....

Ridiculous! Focus on your job. Providing the best care you can for the kids. It is not your perrogative to get your panties in a knot because Tommy's mommy stopped off at the store to grab some groceries on the way to get him. Sheesh!

Reply

Its not me sitting and watching the clock....it is the child.

It is not me being bitter or lazy, it is me having to watch your child ask for you, ask why Suzzie's Mom comes early some day, act out, or just plain need a break from daycare, that concerns me. I could care less what you do....it just breaks my heart watching your child suffer for it.

Reply

I don't think most providers are like this, but a couple in the thread sound prettyover the top and bitter to me. I guess there are certain providers that are not that passionate about what they do, just as there are some parents that are better than others...

Reply

Spoken like a parent that wants nothing more than to avoid being "bothered" by their child at all costs.

Reply

I don't work open hours. I contract hours. There's a difference of a seven hour day and a nine hour day to me.

I did an interview a few months ago for a family that lived near me and worked near two of my day care parents who have been with me for over five years.

This family wanted an additional 1.75 hours a DAY more care than they needed for work, lunch and transporting. It was REDICULOUS. They said they needed it for transport time and was emphatic that it took that long to get back and forth to work at the peek hours of traffic in my city.

I told them NO. I know exactly how long it takes to get to both of your jobs because I have two clients who have been driving that route for the last five plus years at the EXACT time of day you are asking for care.

They were LYING. They didn't need the time for transport. They wanted the time because they didn't want their kid in the morning before they went to work (They wanted to drop the kid off and go back home in the morning to get ready for work) and they wanted to leave him in day care for an extra hour after they got home from work.

They were leaving their current babysitter because of a lot of really core issues of health and safety. They decided their babysitter, who was so dangerous before my interview, was perfectly fine after my interview because the babysitter allowed an extra 8.75 hours a WEEK of awake time care for the same money I was charging.

I will NOT work for parents who shun their child and purposely try to get enough child care to make it possible for them to not have the child awake on their clock. I won't work for parents who don't want to be around their children because they don't like taking care of them.

NOT happening.

I don't mind parents getting me time and having some free time now and then. Heck everyone needs a little down time. I just won't work for someone who builds in a HUGE amount of me time every day because the truth is they don't like being around their kid unless the kid is sleeping.

NO can do. I will give up child care before I will ever be involved in that system.

Reply

I am passionate about children and as a parent and as a provider I KNOW that it is best for children to spend the majority of their time with their parents. I am PASSIONATE about doing what is BEST for the child.

It irks me no end when parents try to shirk their responsibility to their child and then try to make it look like the provider is the one who is ducking out on the poor kid.

Reply

Actually, I worked part time hours so I could spend as much time as possible with my kids. We have the same DCP the whole five years and had zero issues. I did schedule a few extra days with her so I could go to appointments or run errands several times. I love my children and spending time with them but everyone needs a break. If you're a parent you do too. You don't know me so telling me that I want to avoid time with my children is absolutely outrageous! It is not neglectful for a parent to want an hour or two to themselves once in a while! Spending every waking second with your child does not make you the mother of the year!

It's just funny to me that some DCPs are okay getting paid for set hours (ie 8-5) but then proceed to get pissy if they have to work those hours! Most people who work a set shift don't get to cut out early and still get paid!

The bottom line is that a parent's job to pay and your job to provide care. Stop being so nosey and judgemental.

PS If a kid likes watching their mom fold laundry or being dragged around while errands are being run, you should take a look at the program/care you're providing!

Reply

I think we've all had this issue. Because we love these kids and have a lot invested. So it bothers us because A: We do care and it hurts our hearts to think the child's parents don't want to be with them. B: We spend sooooo much time with these kids and most of us view this as a partnership in raising someone else's children, so it hurts our pride to be treated like a "sitter." I had my hours until 6:00 and realized I was watching everyone's kids while everyone ran errands after work. I changed it to 5:30 and it made a world of difference! The bottom line is, though: they're paying us. We can't tell them how to raise their kids (although we'd like to sometimes!!) Just know you are making a difference in that child's life because you DO make them feel wanted! We don't get much thanks or recognition, but what we do is so important!

Reply

NOBODY is talking about a parent who works part time and utilized a couple of extra hours here and there to get things done. We are talking about children who are in care upwards of 50 hours a week, every single week.

You can call in nosey and judgemental if you like. Personally, I have never met a parent who makes their children their first priority who doesn't agree with this concept...you would be a first.

Reply

By the way...every single child I have ever met would prefer to be with Mommy or Daddy over a daycare mom or daycare friends, not matter how much fun the program might be. Kids like helping Mommy fold towels or having a special day out with Mom! The trick is not to "drag" them around but to interact, enjoy, converse, and play with them while on those outings!!!!

Reply

I think you're a bit deluded. I think that social, happy and well-adjusted kids would usually prefer play time with friends over errands. End of story.

One more thing I have noticed....I am amazed at the number of DCPs who are able to post on this board all day while they are supposedy working. Some seem to be online and posting for hours at a time. There aren't many jobs that allow you to get away with that, just saying....

You can have the last word; go for it!

Reply

I have happy and well adjusted kids year after year for nearly two decades. I have never met a kid who would prefer to be at my house with the friends they have grown up with their whole lives than run to Wal-Mart or Target with their Mom.

One hundred percent of the kids I care for would always choose time with their parents over time here.

As it should be. I'm great with kids. My house is awesome. My food is delicious. My assistant is sweet as pie. Even with all that... I can never compare to time with their parents. I'm good but I'll never be THAT good.

This thinking makes the parents feel better but it's just words the "me" time generation came up with to make them feel better about doing the wrong thing.

Reply

OK then! I think you have been here before as I seem to recall this topic being brought up.

You have no idea what part of the globe the members on this forum live in. It may be daytime for you but it might be nightime for them.

As for myself, I NEVER go on this forum when at work.

Reply

different time zones, nap time, lap tops, smartphones, snack time, assistants...

Reply

I think I just heard the Choir sing!

Reply

I was going to stay out of this, but couldn't let this one go by. I challenge you to name me ONE person of ANY profession who doesn't watch the clock, even a little, at the end of the day when they've been working hard all day. If you say you don't, I won't believe you. It's natural. EVERYONE does it, because we all want the WORK day to end so that we can do our own things or be with our own families.

Reply

Well, gee ... I am a bit speechless and kind of annoyed by the way this post took such a turn ' unregistered' this is a DCP forum/ thread where we voice our opinions, concerns, seek advice and support. For you to come on here as an unregistered user and more or less bash us as DCP's is cowardly and petty.
Yes, just as there are some parents, lawyers, doctors, clerks ... and yes, also some DCP's who don't do justice to their professions or roles; however, to say what you did about these providers is uncalled for- I am 100% positive that they love what they do, do a fabulous job and at the end of the day all they care about is the well being of those in their care. Save your opinions and negative remarks for those whom actually deserve it.
Cheers

Reply

I work in a center with open hours...so I see a lot of this. Not so much lately, but in the past we've had children who were in the parking lot when we opened at 6:30 am and had to call their parents regularly because they were still there after closing.
Parents who called every 30 minutes on days when the roads were icy and we were on delay to see when ANYONE would be in the building so they could drop their kid off.
Parents who straight up told us we did not have the right to have a half day on on days like Good Friday, etc.

All of whom were city-paid, worked part-time hours or none at all.

We have a mom right now who drops her kid off at 7 am, gets off at 3 pm, passes the daycare on her way home and WAVES everyday, and doesn't pick her child up until 5 minutes before closing. Its sad.

Reply

Interesting that the posters apparently hit a nerve with you, sorry to say you are probably one of the parents who keep their kids in daycare as long as possible. No one is talking about the parents who stop for groceries, only the habitual offenders as was posted.
And why do you have so much time to post, aren't you suppose to be watching your kids, or at work? You fell into that one.

Reply

2hrs a day x 5 days = 10hrs a week

10hrs a week x 4 weeks = 40 (AWAKE)hrs extra a month she could be spending with her child.

I have held back in the past (and will still have to to my own DCP) but this makes me ill.

Yes I do judge you for it. I am sorry after 7 yrs of trying to ignore it and 'mind my own business' I can not seperate my head and my heart.

...and my heart breaks for these children.

I have never met a child whos parents does this that was well adjusted.

Reply