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  #1  
Old 10-01-2012, 05:01 PM
DBug DBug is offline
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Default Provider/Parent Confidentiality vs. Provider/Provider Confidentiality?

Just curious what all of you would do in this "hypothetical" situation?

Dcg leaves care because according to her parents, her "auntie will provide free care". Dcg then appears four weeks later at the home daycare two doors down (in a row of townhouses, no less). Previous daycare provider and kids see dcg twice daily at the bus stop, and are friendly with the new daycare provider. New daycare provider assumes "auntie" didn't work out well. 1.5 months later, dcd calls previous dc provider and asks for dcg's spot back. Previous dc provider asks why. Dcd says current daycare is closing. Previous dc provider says she wasn't aware of that, and says she will call if anything opens up.

Previous dc provider is VERY sure that the new dc is NOT closing. Dcd seems to be lying for unknown reasons.

If you were the previous dc provider, would you tell the new daycare provider about this call and the apparent lie dcd told? Why or why not?
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:32 PM
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Are you for sure the daycare is not closing? Maybe child is not adjusting well or able to meet the childs needs like you were? In any case I would not tell her about it, it seems there is more to the story than dad let on and maybe neither would be comfortable talking about it?
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:53 PM
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familyschoolcare familyschoolcare is offline
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OP would you consider telling new daycare if when terminating services the family gave no reason?
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Old 10-01-2012, 06:22 PM
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Straight ask the new dcp if she's closing. That's not breaching confidentiality in any way. If she says no, then you know you don't want to take the dck back.

That said, in my state, it's not illegal for "providers" to share information on a need to know basis with other providers or even teachers/providers to discuss the children in the provider's care.

If you know of a parent lying and daycare "hopping" I'd definitely sit down with the provider and let her know that this person has asked you to take the child back.

We all network together, and yes, we have caused parents to NOT get care because of certain "infractions" (so to speak) such as lying or not paying. We also use Provider watch which is similar to a credit reporting system but actually is for providers who interview parents and want to make sure they don't have an outstanding bill to a provider.

Now, that said, I don't think it would be appropriate for you to tell friends/family/everyone in the world who these parents are. But the new provider is on that "need to know" list. Think about how you would feel if you were in the shoes she's in.....
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Old 10-01-2012, 10:11 PM
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earlystart earlystart is offline
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I wouldn't tell because it's none of your business why they want to leave the old place, so they probably just used the excuse "it's closing", in other words, they don't want to talk about it. Maybe they left because they don't like the provider, maybe there was a crazy drama filled incident, but in any case the provider wouldn't be able to discuss it with you and the parent doesn't have to tell you either, so why get involved. If you don't trust the person, don't call them back even if you get a space, but I don't see the need to stir things up.
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Old 10-02-2012, 03:11 AM
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Personally I wouldn't say anything. I would not take back a family who left for cheaper care, it doesn't really matter what their reasons are for wanting to come back.
But if you feel you must know, then my thought would be to ask if she was closing.
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Old 10-02-2012, 04:17 AM
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Okay, so since my "hypothetical" cover is blown, I'm giving up the ruse.

I plan on asking the current provider this morning whether she's closing or not. I'm just not sure about telling her the rest yet. This dc family was one that gave me a ton of grief. If she had asked me whether she should take them when they interviewed, I would have suggested she not. I was constantly on them for diapers, payment, appropriate clothing, footwear, etc. Dcg is a sweetheart with a few rough edges, so it was never about her. There are a few posts here about my stress over the parents though. .

I would definitely not take them back. However, my standard response to anyone is "I'll let you know if I have any openings" simply so that I don't burn any bridges, kwim?

I'm close with another provider, and if it were her (and it has been in the past) I would totally tell her everything. Dcg's current provider is obviously my neighbour, but I don't know her quite as well. I think she would probably ask dcd point-blank about it though, if I tell her. Thing is, there's no reason for the dcp's to NOT assume we talk about everything. Our daughters play together, we go to the same playground, we chat every day at the bus stop ... if there was an issue with the current daycare, why would the dcd say she's closing when it would be quite obvious to me that she's not? Why not say something else like, dcg isn't adjusting well or she misses her friends or whatever?

I don't know, I think I'm having a really hard time figuring out dcp's motives and I totally feel like they're setting us all up for some huge scam or something ...
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Old 10-02-2012, 06:40 AM
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I would want to know if a parent was pulling their child from my care - especially if they were LYING about the reason as to why.

Make certain that the other provider is NOT closing, and once you know for sure, let her know that DCD has contacted you and asked you to take DCK back. It gives the other provider a chance to clarify the reason that the parent wants to pull the child.

I would also respond to DCD and let him know you don't have a space for his daughter at this time. You're not lying by saying you don't have a space, you're specifically telling him you don't have a space for *his* daughter right now.

Good luck.
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Old 10-02-2012, 07:24 AM
AnneCordelia AnneCordelia is offline
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You have no obligation of confidentiality here. Certainly you want to consider your reputation and don't want to be known as the provider who gossips or spreads sensitive information, but we are not doctors, lawyers or priests. Lol. And you certainly have no obligation to this family who is no longer even a client.

If it were me I would flat out mention to the other provider, Soandsos dad came to me looking for care...said you were closing...is that true? But that's based on the dynamic providers have with each other in my neighbourhood, where we are comfortable going to each other about that stuff.
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  #10  
Old 10-02-2012, 09:25 AM
DBug DBug is offline
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Well, call me the Queen of Over-reaction, because dcd wasn't lying . I talked to dcg's daycare provider this morning at the bus stop. Dcd WAS telling the truth, and I guess he had just gotten notice shortly before calling me.

It turns out that the current provider is closing for health issues. It sounded serious so I offered whatever help I could be to them (except for taking dcg back!).

With this dc family's history here, I'm not surprised I jumped to conclusions. Still, I shouldn't have assumed the worst .

Thanks for all of the advice, ladies! And for what it's worth, I'm glad I asked the current provider what was going on, otherwise I could have stewed about this for much, much longer!
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