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  #1  
Old 03-21-2017, 09:57 PM
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Default Parent Wants to Watch

Have you ever had a parent want to stay for the day to see how you run things? Do you (or would you) allow it?
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Old 03-21-2017, 10:27 PM
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Have you ever had a parent want to stay for the day to see how you run things? Do you (or would you) allow it?
Yes and I said no and will always say no. I watch children, not parents. If I have a parent present all day I have to watch them because they are a huge liability to the rest of my kids.

No can do here..
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Old 03-21-2017, 10:53 PM
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I had a parent want to do that as they were "considering" my program as prospective parents..... I declined them the spot.

That said I do allow parents (of currently enrolled students) to come on field trips, to share something (a hobby/skill, something cultural or for the holidays their family may celebrate). I also welcome parents to walk their child in and get them settled in for the day.

Also I have been trying two different mediums to communicate with parents:

1) Brightwheel, which gives a really great window into our day and rhythm at school and sends push notifications to the parents (once they sign up). Parents can only downloads pictures if only their child is in it - so a group shot cannot be automatically downloaded. I also use it for billing. You can also use it for a daily tracker (naps, diaper changes, potty, etc.

2) Shutterfly private share site which also gives a great glimpse to our day, allows for a message board, polls, etc. It is very easy to use but does not do billing.

I am finding parents want to feel connected and like they know and "see" what their child is doing all day while away from them - I get that so I try to meet them half way. I want them to know that as well so we can better partner together.

Maybe say to DCM that visitors can be very disruptive to the flow of the day for the children but you appreciate her desire to better know the flow of the day. Ask her if she would be willing to pilot an app (of your choice) which you feel will increase home/daycare communications......

Of course that is only if you feel like doing that. I am happy I have utilized pilot families for the two options I was considering some of the feedback has been great, and it has also given me the opportunity to see any kinks I dislike.
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Old 03-21-2017, 11:39 PM
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Just downloaded the BrightWheel App, so great I was searching for a simpler way to share with parents is perfect.

Thank you so much!
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Old 03-22-2017, 03:54 AM
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Back when I opened I interviewed a family, liked them and offered them a spot. She asked if she could come one day with dcg to meet the other kids. I usually offer this to incoming families, but omg this time it went completely out of control!!

Mom ended up staying for 5 HOURS And being new, I had no idea how to kick her out!! It was awful - she was sooo obnoxious.! I finally said it was time to go when her husband showed up unannounced, kicked off his shoes and got on the floor with their child and started talking in a baby voice!! Needless to say, they did not get the spot.

Now I still offer incoming families a chance to visit before their first day, but it is set as a half hour appointment. Parents also know that if kids are acting up/off (as they tend to do when visitors are here) then the visit will be cut short so I can refocus the group. I typically do the visit when we are outside. And I only ever offer a visit after they have given me their enrollment paperwork and their deposit.

I think you need to do what you feel most comfortable with. I enjoy the 30 minutes getting to know the new parents, it gives me a little insight into our future working relationship. I say go with your gut because as City Garden said, there are other ways to keep parents in the loop without them in your home
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Old 03-22-2017, 04:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreamer View Post
Have you ever had a parent want to stay for the day to see how you run things? Do you (or would you) allow it?
yes I have had people ask and I also said no; For one it totally disrupts the kids, and two, It's a big liability. I don't have time, nor do I want to watch them when my job is to care for the kids. The only time I did, the parent stole a bunch of stuff from my bathroom... NEVER AGAIN

Regulations could very well stop a parent from sticking around also - if the parent complains, just tell them you aren't willing to lose your license because they haven't been cleared to be around the kids. If it's that much of an issue that the parent needs to stay longer than 15-30 minutes then it's a big red flag to me and I would not offer a spot, I mean our business is built on trust.
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Old 03-22-2017, 06:10 AM
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Originally Posted by dreamer View Post
Have you ever had a parent want to stay for the day to see how you run things? Do you (or would you) allow it?
My reply is usually:

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."
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Old 03-22-2017, 06:33 AM
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I "phase in" kids for a couple of hours on a weekend or holiday, as the final part of the application process before I take a deposit. It gives me a chance to get a feel for the parents and see where the kids are developmentally.
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Old 03-22-2017, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by LysesKids View Post
yes I have had people ask and I also said no; For one it totally disrupts the kids, and two, It's a big liability. I don't have time, nor do I want to watch them when my job is to care for the kids. The only time I did, the parent stole a bunch of stuff from my bathroom... NEVER AGAIN

Regulations could very well stop a parent from sticking around also - if the parent complains, just tell them you aren't willing to lose your license because they haven't been cleared to be around the kids. If it's that much of an issue that the parent needs to stay longer than 15-30 minutes then it's a big red flag to me and I would not offer a spot, I mean our business is built on trust.


I use the reasoning of liability and privacy (BC's advice).

I did it once. Once. When I first opened. Never again.
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Old 03-22-2017, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by dreamer View Post
Have you ever had a parent want to stay for the day to see how you run things? Do you (or would you) allow it?
I had a client who wanted to visit the daycare prior to committing to see what it was like here. I did allow it (for one hour) but one visit turned into two and a request for a third (which I didn't allow) and she turned out to be the most neurotic (but also dense) mom yet.

Dense in that I kept stressing how much time we spend outside and then when she brought him for care, she brought him without any footwear (very cold and wet mornings). Like, wtf? Then when I told her I'd need snow pants (I'm in Canada, right), she responded with "Oh, I thought maybe only splash pants", which would be totally useless for 4+ months of the year.

And very, very neurotic. Can't say that enough.

I decided after her that no more visits, and to deter people in a way that would make me look responsible (rather than trying to hide something), I'd explain that any adult spending more than about 5 minutes (for pu/do) at my daycare would have to submit to me a recent police record check.
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  #11  
Old 03-22-2017, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by debbiedoeszip View Post
I had a client who wanted to visit the daycare prior to committing to see what it was like here. I did allow it (for one hour) but one visit turned into two and a request for a third (which I didn't allow) and she turned out to be the most neurotic (but also dense) mom yet.

Dense in that I kept stressing how much time we spend outside and then when she brought him for care, she brought him without any footwear (very cold and wet mornings). Like, wtf? Then when I told her I'd need snow pants (I'm in Canada, right), she responded with "Oh, I thought maybe only splash pants", which would be totally useless for 4+ months of the year.

And very, very neurotic. Can't say that enough.

I decided after her that no more visits, and to deter people in a way that would make me look responsible (rather than trying to hide something), I'd explain that any adult spending more than about 5 minutes (for pu/do) at my daycare would have to submit to me a recent police record check.
I've actually had a parent try to tell me that they had all of their checks done and therefore should be able to come for a visit. Um, no. My insurance doesn't cover that.
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  #12  
Old 03-22-2017, 11:23 AM
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I had a parent who hung around for half an hour because she "never gets to see him play with friends"

I wouldn't allow it - either they trust me or they don't. I'd use the excuses already mentioned: background check, insurance/liability, and confidentiality.
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Old 03-22-2017, 11:34 AM
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Along with the reasons posted, I tell parents when asking to "stay for a while and watch" that the child will be expected to follow my rules/routines/expectations so it is unfair to make them think otherwise. Therefore, it is useless for parents to stick around creating an unfair expectation of doing their own thing for the child.
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Old 03-22-2017, 11:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
My reply is usually:

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."
This is exactly what I say too. I'm sorry but you are not in a place of trust with me just yet and are a virtual stranger to the children. Not going to happen.

I do a transition where parents are here for an hour with their kids and that is it. They basically sit in a corner and fill out paperwork, they do not interact with any of the kids, not even their own. That is as much time as I offer a stranger in my home.
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  #15  
Old 03-22-2017, 11:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
My reply is usually:

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."
Yes!

I have still enrolled some who I said no to. Most move on.
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Old 03-23-2017, 12:04 AM
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BC I love that response.

I think if you say no than an explanation is very helpful to the parent.

When I was on the parent side of daycare, we asked to visit before enrolling (because I thought that's what good parents did lol) and had a daycare tell us no because she 'just doesn't do that really.' It was one deciding factor in not enrolling because we didn't understand the issue with it.

Had someone explained why, we would have been understanding it totally makes sense to me now.
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Old 03-23-2017, 10:49 AM
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Yes, and I allow it.

BUT, it's on my terms. I don't allow them to just come hang out. But I do invite new families to come be here for circle time and one activity. Then they have to go home.

If I told them it was against the rules all they'd have to do is read my licsening regs to know I was lying.
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Old 03-26-2017, 10:22 AM
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I allow them to come during circle time or outdoor time, max 30 minutes.
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Old 03-26-2017, 11:30 AM
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Once a family has officially enrolled (turned in all paper work and deposit), I schedule a 15-20 minutes visit during outdoor time at the end of the day a week or two before the child starts so the child can meet the other children and the parents can meet some of the current parents when they arrive for pick up. So far this has worked out well and I get a feel of how the child and family will blend with my current families and kind of know how the trial period will end.
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Old 03-26-2017, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by hwichlaz View Post
Yes, and I allow it.

BUT, it's on my terms. I don't allow them to just come hang out. But I do invite new families to come be here for circle time and one activity. Then they have to go home.

If I told them it was against the rules all they'd have to do is read my licsening regs to know I was lying.
Most licensing regs in most states say that parents must have access to their children at all times. I am in Utah and that is what my regs say. They also say that a parent must be able to see the daycare and inspect the areas their child spends their time at any time their child is in care.

But I do NOT allow visits to "observe". They can have access to their child at any time. They CANNOT have access to, and have no right to view other people's children. If they drop by, their child is brought out to them in another room from the other children. If their child fusses when they leave, they must take the child with them.

If anyone asked to see the playroom, they would have to wait until we removed all the other children before they were allowed to go there. I would also term anyone who wanted that. It shows a complete lack of trust. My playroom is inspected by licensing and that report is available to them at any time.

Licensing know exactly how I do it and they like it.

Some parents will try and use the "access" rule against a provider thinking they can come and hang out any time they please. Not so.
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Old 03-26-2017, 07:43 PM
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Most licensing regs in most states say that parents must have access to their children at all times. I am in Utah and that is what my regs say. They also say that a parent must be able to see the daycare and inspect the areas their child spends their time at any time their child is in care.

But I do NOT allow visits to "observe". They can have access to their child at any time. They CANNOT have access to, and have no right to view other people's children. If they drop by, their child is brought out to them in another room from the other children. If their child fusses when they leave, they must take the child with them.

If anyone asked to see the playroom, they would have to wait until we removed all the other children before they were allowed to go there. I would also term anyone who wanted that. It shows a complete lack of trust. My playroom is inspected by licensing and that report is available to them at any time.

Licensing know exactly how I do it and they like it.

Some parents will try and use the "access" rule against a provider thinking they can come and hang out any time they please. Not so.
My front door is right in my main room where I provide care. Just dropping a child off or picking them up exposes them to the entire group.
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Old 03-27-2017, 06:53 AM
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My front door is right in my main room where I provide care. Just dropping a child off or picking them up exposes them to the entire group.
But you can still say no to hanging around You can also refuse them access past the front door. Any parent within touching distance of someone else's child is a liability.
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Old 03-27-2017, 08:17 AM
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Yep and nope. I have long term clients who are foster parents. I simply tell parents that to protect the children's privacy-as well as that of all my charges, I cannot allow it.
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Old 03-27-2017, 08:47 AM
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But you can still say no to hanging around You can also refuse them access past the front door. Any parent within touching distance of someone else's child is a liability.
Kinda. I have to allow them access to licensed areas while their child is in care. I don't have to let them hang out...but I need to be reasonable too. I have a few kids, one who is clingy and sad right now because mom is doing chemo and is obviously ill, who stays for about 5-10min to get her daughter settled. About have of my parents help their child get their things into their cubby, then walk them over to get them settled into whatever the current activity is. The other half dump and run, lol.
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Old 03-29-2017, 12:08 PM
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Kinda. I have to allow them access to licensed areas while their child is in care. I don't have to let them hang out...but I need to be reasonable too. I have a few kids, one who is clingy and sad right now because mom is doing chemo and is obviously ill, who stays for about 5-10min to get her daughter settled. About have of my parents help their child get their things into their cubby, then walk them over to get them settled into whatever the current activity is. The other half dump and run, lol.
And so do they.
I find it extremely disrespectful when parents don't (or won't) understand that these types of disruptions can be detrimental to your day.
I mean, not just the privacy and liability factors, but the routine! Kids thrive on routine. Some parent comes waltzing in at 11:00 to "observe" just disrupted the transition from potty break/diaper changes to lunch. Instead of 5 minutes of diaper time, it turns to 15 trying to quiet the chaos the parent created within the room... 10 more minutes trying to get them to lunch, which is now late, which means nap is now late, which means I have to cut time from an activity or outside play.
Yeah, just not happening.
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