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  #1  
Old 12-16-2019, 06:57 AM
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Default Chaos at Pick-Up

I know this is a common problem, so I'm looking for some advice on how to handle this!

Everyone tends to lose their minds at pick-up, but I have one dcb who is a nightmare. As soon as his parent comes, he is pushing the other kids, sitting on them, refusing to do anything I say. Dcd puts his little sister in her seat, so while he's doing that, I try to get him ready to go home.

He is usually a good listener, but as soon as pick-up time rolls around he completely ignores everything I say and he says "no" to everything. I try to put on his stuff before his dad comes, but I can't always put on his boots until right when he leaves because they are wet and/or muddy.

The times when I do have him all ready to go, he runs wild and is mean to the other kids. I have held him until it's time for him to go, but he flails and kicks and screams. He cries anytime I ask him to do something at pick-up. I can tell his parents get so embarrassed and they do get on him when he misbehaves. I also usually have 1 or 2 other parents here to pick-up at the same time. I feel like I lose all control with this kid at this time.

Any ideas?
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Old 12-16-2019, 07:18 AM
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How old is he?
Why isn't the parent managing his behavior?
Can the dad take him first, dressed to the car and come back for the younger one?
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Old 12-16-2019, 07:35 AM
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Is the parent going to the car with the younger sibling or is this happening while both kids are present?

Personally, I make it clear that as soon as the parent arrives, they are now the responsible party for their child. I will make sure that my home (or other kids) are not disrespected but I do not partake in the parenting duties (getting them out the door). That's THEIR job.
They need to figure out a way to parent effectively so that their child is not harming others or property.

These parents need to be aware that they are on thin ice with this behavior.

OR

At the very least, I'd probably keep this child separate from others at this time of day. Make the parents text you when they are in the driveway and send the child out. Don't allow the parent inside at all. This apparently is what triggers it, right?
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Old 12-16-2019, 07:42 AM
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How old is he? Sounds like he gets super excited at that time and cannot control his emotions and/or is testing boundaries which is normal when 2 authority figures (parent and caregiver) are present to see what he can get away with.
My policy is parents are to take control of their child when they are present. It is not fair to you to keep this child contained while supervising the other children when parent is there. Have you spoken to parents about doing so?
And yes, that pickup window time when everyone is leaving at once can be very challenging...whew!
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Old 12-16-2019, 07:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dolores View Post
How old is he? Sounds like he gets super excited at that time and cannot control his emotions and/or is testing boundaries which is normal when 2 authority figures (parent and caregiver) are present to see what he can get away with.
My policy is parents are to take control of their child when they are present. It is not fair to you to keep this child contained while supervising the other children when parent is there. Have you spoken to parents about doing so?
And yes, that pickup window time when everyone is leaving at once can be very challenging...whew!
He's 2.5.

I try talking to dcb beforehand and let him know that he cannot act like that when dad comes. I think today I'm going to keep him at the table with some sort of activity while dad is putting the little one in her seat and have the other kids in a different area doing a different activity. He really does just act up as soon as he sees him mom or his dad.
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Old 12-16-2019, 08:07 AM
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Why not put the little one in her seat and let Dad deal with the more difficult one? Seems he is perfectly OK with the tables turned on you.
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Old 12-16-2019, 08:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryRoads View Post
He's 2.5.

I try talking to dcb beforehand and let him know that he cannot act like that when dad comes. I think today I'm going to keep him at the table with some sort of activity while dad is putting the little one in her seat and have the other kids in a different area doing a different activity. He really does just act up as soon as he sees him mom or his dad.
I think your conversation needs to be with the parent not the child.
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Old 12-16-2019, 10:25 AM
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I would have the parent call when they are in the driveway.Have little one ready to go and start putting boots on the 2.5 yr old.I would have his coat and things all ready on him.Tell parent to just go as soon as he takes child.
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Old 12-16-2019, 11:07 AM
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If a child misbehaves at pick up time, I ask his parent(s) to leave the hallway and wait on the front porch while I get the child ready. It is my house and my business, so only me menage everything here.
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Old 12-16-2019, 11:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CountryRoads View Post
He's 2.5.

I try talking to dcb beforehand and let him know that he cannot act like that when dad comes. I think today I'm going to keep him at the table with some sort of activity while dad is putting the little one in her seat and have the other kids in a different area doing a different activity. He really does just act up as soon as he sees him mom or his dad.
Solution.... Ban the car seat from coming in the house. Have both ready to go.


There is no reason he needs to bring it in. Clicking and unclicking the seat causes wear and tear on the seat, making the seat not as safe in an accident.
Not to mention bed bugs and lice can travel on them.
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Old 12-16-2019, 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted by 284878 View Post
Solution.... Ban the car seat from coming in the house. Have both ready to go.


There is no reason he needs to bring it in. Clicking and unclicking the seat causes wear and tear on the seat, making the seat not as safe in an accident.
Not to mention bed bugs and lice can travel on them.
Sorry to take this on a tangent - but what about families who only have 1 car seat and one parent drops off and the other picks up?
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Old 12-16-2019, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
Sorry to take this on a tangent - but what about families who only have 1 car seat and one parent drops off and the other picks up?
I'm not the one you asked but...

I require those families to figure it out on their time.

Honestly we have so many places around here that assist parents in getting car seats if they can't afford it that I've never worried about one parent dropping off and another picking up.

They can exchange seats on their own time or they buy a second one. They really aren't that expensive when you think about WHY we have them.
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Old 12-16-2019, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
Sorry to take this on a tangent - but what about families who only have 1 car seat and one parent drops off and the other picks up?
Then they need to invest in another one.

As well as make sure their emergency contacts have proper equipment.

I once had a mom go OFF on me because she thought I should be supplying their emergency contacts with them. Silly mommy. Sometimes I wonder who taught these people about responsibility and parenting.
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Old 12-16-2019, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
Sorry to take this on a tangent - but what about families who only have 1 car seat and one parent drops off and the other picks up?
I expect each parent to have a car seat in their car. If they can't afford one, I send them to the local fire department who gives them out free from a grant. They don't cost hundreds like when my kids were small, some are $30 now.
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Old 12-16-2019, 04:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
Sorry to take this on a tangent - but what about families who only have 1 car seat and one parent drops off and the other picks up?


What they said.
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Old 12-16-2019, 04:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
Why not put the little one in her seat and let Dad deal with the more difficult one? Seems he is perfectly OK with the tables turned on you.


I read somewhere shortly after opening that it was a liability for the provider to buckle in the child or to even help buckle in a seat. That if something where to happen to the child in an accident, that the parent could sue saying that the provider didn't secure the seat properly. So I don't recommend that she buckles without insisting that DCd double check her.
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Old 12-17-2019, 08:32 AM
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In my place ALL drop offs and pick ups take place outside. No one comes inside during these times. This has eliminated all chaos and circus, and misbehaving by both kids and parents I used to witness before I implemented this as a policy. I also make sure that all families are aware that from the moment they come to pick up their child and my door closes behind them, they are in fully in charge from that point on. Kids shoes are outside for parents to put them on when kids exit the house. There are 3 benches to sit on so they can be comfortable while doing so. I also have a paragraph in my Handbook saying that if at any point I feel like I have to come outside after they picked their kid up and start managing pick up for them, that they can be immediately terminated.
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Old 12-17-2019, 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted by 284878 View Post
I read somewhere shortly after opening that it was a liability for the provider to buckle in the child or to even help buckle in a seat. That if something where to happen to the child in an accident, that the parent could sue saying that the provider didn't secure the seat properly. So I don't recommend that she buckles without insisting that DCd double check her.
Oh, I agree. I don't even allow car seats in my house. Gross, some of them I don't even want to think about. I practice Bye-Bye Outside.

I more meant for her to entertain the little one while dad secured the big one and came back for her. IMPO, He should be taking both out (holding DCB hand, carrying infant) to the car and securing them in their car seats like a grown-up. I also know Country is more of a soft touch than I am and wants to be flexible.
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Old 12-17-2019, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 284878 View Post
I read somewhere shortly after opening that it was a liability for the provider to buckle in the child or to even help buckle in a seat. That if something where to happen to the child in an accident, that the parent could sue saying that the provider didn't secure the seat properly. So I don't recommend that she buckles without insisting that DCd double check her.
I've heard the same thing so I don't even offer to help a grandparent or alternate pick-up person. I believe my policies say that everyone who picks up must have a car seat and know how to use it.

I think once this little one grows out of the "bucket" seat I'll add a No Car Seat policy. Thanks all!!
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