It's going to be a LONG summer and it just started! I have 11 kids here today...4 are mine, the rest daycare...just 2 days out of the week I run full like this...this is my first summer day running full and WOW, I'm exhausted!! Anyone else here have many of their own kids AND run full?

I have fed/cleaned up, done crafts, cleaned up, played softball, cleaned up....feeding 11 mouths all day long and cleaning up is a chore in itself!! I feel like I'm just cleaning up one meal before the next one rolls around, or snack.

I can't go anywhere with this many kids as my van only seats 7, now I'm feeling a little "trapped". Anyone else with me? It's been a LONG day already and I still have 2 hours to go. I have a feeling this summer is going to drag.

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I have 2 days where I can get up to 10.
It's only happened once this summer(my husband was home to help), but I get occasional days of 8.
I do not like it at all. I have to put my head down and drive through and hope I come out alive and well at the other end. Blech.
It's one of the reasons I quit working at and won't work at a center.
I know 10 to 1 is legal(at centers), but who in their right mine would do it every day?
Pile on cooking and all the clean up afterwards?? Oh no.
I enjoy the school age kids (I'm freaky that way), but I'll be happy when school starts and I can get it back down to my 4 or 5 a day.
Our summer break started May 27th, so it's already getting old.

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I have 14 kids every day, so yeah, I hear ya! But, I do have my husband as my assistant and my 17 year old works for me during preschool hours. Honestly, though, I prefer to have all of them rather than just some of them....they entertain each other and need me less.

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If I had help it would probably be less stressful...my older kids help a little, but cannot be in 100% control at any given time. My oldest daughter is 13 with ADHD so she's a little more inmature, so I'm the only adult here.

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Yes, that would be stressful. I am so glad that I have full time help.....I JUST hired my daughter to work for me, which has been awesome. She was looking for a job, but not easy in this economy. We were going to buy her a car this summer, and have her help if she got a job, now I am just paying her $10 per hour and that will go towards her car.

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I am so with you. I have only 6, 4 being mine, 7 soon. But here's today, I can only laugh!
6:00 am Wake, look at the clock...try to convince self to go back to sleep
6:40 am ok, get up now!
7:05 dck #1 arrives, we read since everyone else is still asleep
7:10 dck#2 comes. They fight, they battle.
8:00 The dead arise and my 3 kids slither in. 9yrs, 7yrs, 4 yrs.
8:30 Dch leaves, help! I"m alone!
8:45 Fix various menu requests for kids, eat the leftovers
9:00 my 5 month old wakes up, nurse, change, change poopy 1yr old dcb
change 3 yr old dcg who refuses potty
9:30 walk, double stroller. Neighbors think I have way too many kids. Too hot outside to explain.
10:00-11:30 outside in the sprinkler/baby pool. Fights ensue over turns on the slide, the water is cold, she's touching me, etc.
11:45 Porch for lunch. Feed all 6 while stripping bathing suits. Dispose of very evil sandwich crust. Evil crust! Clean baby puke off my leg and out of my shoe.
Eat my own pb&j- my own!
1:00 rechange everyone. 3 youngest down for nap. 1yr old cries for duration of nap, mom is trying to potty train at 1 yr old. She is sure it is time. So baby hates pullups and cries the whole time.
2:00 now I can clean the whole house again!
2:45 collapse on daughter's bed and listen to 7yr old read princess book
3:00 get all up, rechange, battle the potty. Snack, reclean kitchen
4:00 all kids drag the porch toys in b/c of storm. Battle son, no son , the
girls all under 7 do not want to watch star wars. Turn the tv off!
4:05 dad picks up 3 yr old. Mom and dad recently split. She goes nuts crying.
He looks at me like what torture device did you use on her today?
4:45 mom#1 call for the fourth time today to check on potty training progress of 1 yr old. My hair is gray.
5:00 Let's bake cookies. Fight ensues over licking the bowl between my own kids. Yes, you can now watch star wars.

When is national child caregiver day????????

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When is national child caregiver day????????

LOL! You just missed it...it was in May.

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SO funny! I laughed out loud! Hope they all sat down to watch Star Wars for you tonight - now you need a glass of wine!

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When did you have the time to notate all this? I would need a professional following me to make notes.

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14?! Don't you just love it when you see a mom with only 1 or 2 kids and they seem so frazzled? I always think, "lady, you have it so easy. Try 4, 5, or 6 at a time, all by yourself. Then we'll discuss who SUPERMOM is."

Also, when I tell people I'm having twins (DD will be 2 yrs 4 mths when they are born), people always say, "oh, you're going to have your hands full!" Then I laugh and tell them, "Well, I'm a daycare provider so I get plenty of practice so I'm sure I'm up for it. I always like a challenge!"

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I am always amazed when I turn on the Dugger's...wondering how they do it! Or the octomom...she's in over her head! Just NO WAY one person could do it all 24-7. At least with daycare they go home so we can clean up and get things done.

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is when people find out that I have 5 or 6 kids every day (I can have 6, and I have no desire to expand...I value my sanity, lol!) and they are totally shocked that I only have one child of my own. She's 14 years old so I would never want to add another of my own! I have this whole dream it place that involves my daughter being in college by the time I'm forty and if I had another kid, then I would be starting over again! I'll get my baby and little kid fix by enjoying my proffession and then sending my little turds home at the end of the day

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I hear you regarding Octomom. As the mother of twins due in Nov., I can honestly say, it is very hard to chase after toddlers with 2 inside. I can't imagine having 8 inside and trying to keep up with 6 little ones. If she didn't have mental problems before, she has to by now. No one can survive that and not go at least a little crazy.

As for the Dugger's and other large families, there is a secret to it. Once you get to the 5th or 6th child, it starts to get a little easier - my personal theory. Here's why: By the time #5 comes, the oldest is probably 6 or 7 years old and can start helping out with chores and keeping an eye on the younger siblings while mom tends to the new baby. Once the 9th or 10th comes along, the oldest is probably a teen and you have a couple preteens to help out. The older siblings become mini moms and dads to the younger ones. That's how it seems to work on the Dugger's shows (16, 17, 18 ... kids and counting - I have no idea where they are at now).

Plus, when my grandma had her 5th pregnancy, her oldest was 6 years old. Grandma went in to deliver #5 (my mom) and had another contraction. So 4 minutes later, my aunt was born. She brought 2 infants home with 4 toddlers/preschool aged children. The 2 older girls (#2 & #3) helped out. #2 was assigned to my mom (#5) and #3 was assigned to my aunt (#6). The older girls went from baby dolls to real live babies. So grandma had helpers in her older girls (ages 3.5 & 5). Needless to say, grandma & grandpa took a 4 year hiatus before they had their 7th and final child. I think grandma started taking a frying pan or rolling pan to bed and conked grandpa over the head when he got frisky.

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Sheesh, I'm only expecting my 2nd (due in November) and I've already threatened my fiance that if he doesn't get snipped after this one (as long as it's a boy so I have my set) that I will castrate him myself and personally remove his yam bag with a pair of rusty scissors while he's sleeping (all said with a straight face). He now agreed to have the doctor do it instead of me.

Honestly, I love daycare but I can only handle 2 for 24 hours a day, the rest I get to send home everyday.

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I have 4 of my own and up to eight dck! 4 of the dcboys fight constantly. This post made me smile it is nice to know others feel the same way as me. I am TIRED! When does school start again?

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way too funny ..... yet accurate!

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yes I have five of my own and starting in two weeks I will have 7 daycare kids and all my five boys its like shoveling snow during a blizzard

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From what I can see your theory is correct EXCEPT it is done by the GIRLS in the family. The older GIRLS have the responsibility of the younger siblings. The older GIRLS become the Mother's worker.

I HATE that. I have seen it over and over with these large families. Did you ever see the oldest Duggar boy bathing the kids, hand feeding the babies, taking them outside and watching them? I haven't seen all of their shows but the ones I have seen do NOT show the boys caring for the younger children. I don't mean "playing" with them but the kind of work WE do everyday caring for them.

I love the concept of families having the older siblings helping with the younger ones and having true responsibility for making the family work. What I don't like to see is the girls of the family doing the HARD HARD HARD work of caring for, supervising, and entertaining younger siblings while the boys take out the garbage, mow the lawn in the summer, and shovel snow in the winter.

I think in years to come one of the Duggar girls is going to bust loose and tell the world how much it SUCKED being inside bathing, feeding, dressing, doing laundry, doing dishes etc. while her brother's did "manly" work like taking the garbage out. Every "chore" the girls have is time consuming and never ending. The boys chores are a few minutes every day or an hour once a week or so.

The Duggar show is done pretty slick. They are way more careful about what they show then their predecessors. Look at the "and counting" shows before them and you will see the secret to their success: Keep the girls in their place. The Duggars also had the statistical advantage of having a bunch of older girls born in succession. Perfect crop before the boys come along. What you won't see is when the little boys are preteens and teens... them taking care of the little baby girls they have now. That's when the system doesn't work anymore.

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You cracked me up! Thank you, I needed that! It's nice to know that others go through the same chaos!

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Those girls on that show are being put in the position of being the caretaker to the younger kids and that rubs me the wrong way. I understand that part of being in a big family is helping each other and having some responsibilities in the family, but there is a huge difference between being a playmate for younger siblings and being their caretaker! I know this from experience. I resented being put in the position of doing a majority of the caretaking for my little sister and for my oldest sister's kids. It wasn't my responsibility. I feel the same way for the older daughters in the Duggar family. I feel sad for them because they have to put on a happy face because they are on TV. I feel angry because I hate the whole "women's work/men's work" division of labor. The producers of that show are gonna be in a world of hurt when the girls are gone and the boys don't want to do the women's work.

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That's when the show will end and/or Mrs Duggar has to hire out what she has gotten for free for so long.

I hate it too.

From what I have seen over the years it is the ONLY math that makes the big families work. Putting females in their place.

I wa a Nanny for many years. When deciding on Nanny positions one thing I learned is that the job of caring for the kids was markedly harder if the Mom was at home. If I was going to do that the pay would have to be way higher because the job is SO much harder when the Mom is home.

I think about the girls in these big families and think of how hard it has to be for these preteens and teens to have to care for these younger kids when the Mom is in the house. These are young kids who don't have the life experience to know how to cope with that. They also don't have the advantage of being able to quit or to tell the parents they won't do it. Their only power is the power the Mom gives them over the little kids. Their only authority is what they are given that day and only a reflection of how much work they CAN do to make it possible for the Mom to keep having more babies. The only way out of it is to do such a bad job that it isn't to the benefit of the Mother. That's a sucky position to be in.

Just once I'd like to see an example of a large family where the boys cleaned, cooked, did laundry, and did the HARD work of supervising and caring for the younger siblings. A home where the girls just did the occassional or seasonal work.. the bringing in of the groceries.. and the "help out with this project" work... but the day to day stuff that takes many hours of work each day... the work that never ends... the work that doesn't have a good answer that works each time... the work that we do every day... just done by the boys.

Heck it would be nice to see an example of the boys just being EQUAL to the girls in the house when it came to these responsiblities. Just doing the same thing side by side regardless of gender. Doing that EVERY day not just when you are travelling or outside. I don't mean having a "buddy" but caring for the younger kids AND doing the domestic stuff in the house... just exactly like the sisters every day with every kid, with every meal, with every load of laundry, with every floor that needs to be cleaned.

Can you imagine that?

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My oldest son 13, does the care taking of his 2 year old brother, 3 days a week... He unloads the dishwasher, takes the laundry to the laundry room and sorts...and dust..
my girls 6 and 8 pick up the toys at days end, feeds/ waters all animals, cleans the kennels and cages and litter box....they each take turns vaccummming

I cook load dishwasher, do the laundry sweep and mop clean bathroom, pay bills and do all the shopping abd watch the daycare kids..

Dh does the garage and moews the yard and work on the car with the help of my eldest son..

Each child is responsible for their bedroom and making bed.

This systems works, the kids do recieve a button to put in a glass jar at the end of the month, so many buttons earn you different activities and prizes... At the bedtime what you didn't do today, causes you to loss a button as well
as disrepecting each other...

So here in this family it doesn't matter if you are male or female...plus ds is expected to help cook meals, but the girls are too.

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I like your style! That sounds fair for everyone there, and that's an awesome way to teach children about accountability (and a bonus is the lesson about not assigning a gender to certain chores & such...) That rocks!

My parents were both born into families with lots of siblings. I have 3 sisters and a half brother. Both of my grandmothers were home makers. My mom was a home maker for the most part. My sisters have stayed at home, too (for them, they just didn't want to work...they weren't exactly excited about being home with their kids, but they hated work more). I stayed home with my daughter for 8 months and then I went back to work. I hope that no one flames me or thinks that I'm anti-SAH, because I want to be clear that I don't feel that way. I don't know if my grandmothers were happy to be home makers, but I'd like to think that they were, but I do know that my mom didn't seem happy to be at home. Her sisters and aunts were primarily responsible for raising the kids, cooking and cleaning, and her brothers and uncles were the ones who brought home the bacon. Hell, even my female cousins on my mother's side of my family tend to be SAHM's. If it makes them happy, then that's cool. If the women in my family stayed home because they felt that it was their "place", then it makes me angry.

But I digress...

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I heart Booroo

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I certainly do not agree that chores should be gender related and I have a very logical reason for it. My mom raised me to know how to do everything in and around the house from housework to yard work, to balancing a checkbook and keeping a budget and paying bills. Why? Because, as she said, you never know what life will throw at you and there are no guarantees. If the wife only does the housework and care taking of the children and her husband dies, where does that leave her? She may not know where to find the life insurance policies, the checkbook, know where they stand on the house payments, car payments, or credit cards. She needs to know this information so she can continue to provide for the family (children & herself) and not lose everything else on top of grieving her husband. She should also know how to do some "manly" chores like fixing a clogged drain, where the fuse box is (and how to use it), how to mow the law and maybe minor car repair. If her husband dies, it would be a huge lose in income (if not all the income) and she will NOT be able to afford a plumber or mechanic for every minor thing.

On the flip side, if the family has a complete division of labor and the wife dies, how will the husband/father survive if he doesn't know how to do a load of laundry, cook a healthy meal, run a vacuum, sweep the floors, scrub a toilet, etc? If the children are babies or toddlers and in diapers, he will need to change diapers, feed starter foods, give baths, etc.

So my philosophy is that having a division of labor is fine as long as everyone knows HOW to do everything and HELPS out with everything. But you can also work with your strengths and weaknesses. For instance, I hate mowing and detest it, so DH does it. I think he's sloppy (IMO but I have OCD, so it may just be me) with sweeping and steaming the floors, so I do it. Is it gender defined? Maybe, but it works for us. However, I have mowed a lawn before and could do it with no problem if push came to shove. And he does know how to sweep and steam the floors if he had to.

What would be sad for the Duggar girls would be if they got married, had kids, never learned the "male" chores, then their husband dies. They would be lost. Same thing would happen if one of the boys lost his wife.

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