Daycare.com Forum
Parents and Guardians Forum>Park Play And Being Overprotective
clep 02:10 PM 08-23-2012
I run a day home and cannot see the park outside my back gate from my day home space. My son who is 9 wants to be able to go and play outside during day home hours. I see children consistently getting hurt without their parents there and someone has to go find the parent for help in our cul de sac. I do not feel comfortable with my son playing by himself at the park area outside our gate where I cannot see or hear him should something happen.
He is quite upset by this. He get's to play at the park during the kids rest time as I can be upstairs and see and hear the children downstairs via my computer and iphone app. He also get's to play there for about three hours after day home hours, so he get's about four hours total play per day there during summer.
What is your take parents. Should I be letting the reins go and allow him to play unsupervised at the park where I can't see or her him?
He is quite upset by this. He get's to play at the park during the kids rest time as I can be upstairs and see and hear the children downstairs via my computer and iphone app. He also get's to play there for about three hours after day home hours, so he get's about four hours total play per day there during summer.
What is your take parents. Should I be letting the reins go and allow him to play unsupervised at the park where I can't see or her him?
daycare 02:14 PM 08-23-2012
Originally Posted by clep:
I run a day home and cannot see the park outside my back gate from my day home space. My son who is 9 wants to be able to go and play outside during day home hours. I see children consistently getting hurt without their parents there and someone has to go find the parent for help in our cul de sac. I do not feel comfortable with my son playing by himself at the park area outside our gate where I cannot see or hear him should something happen.
He is quite upset by this. He get's to play at the park during the kids rest time as I can be upstairs and see and hear the children downstairs via my computer and iphone app. He also get's to play there for about three hours after day home hours, so he get's about four hours total play per day there during summer.
What is your take parents. Should I be letting the reins go and allow him to play unsupervised at the park where I can't see or her him?
as I say....mother knows best....go with your gut.....I run a day home and cannot see the park outside my back gate from my day home space. My son who is 9 wants to be able to go and play outside during day home hours. I see children consistently getting hurt without their parents there and someone has to go find the parent for help in our cul de sac. I do not feel comfortable with my son playing by himself at the park area outside our gate where I cannot see or hear him should something happen.
He is quite upset by this. He get's to play at the park during the kids rest time as I can be upstairs and see and hear the children downstairs via my computer and iphone app. He also get's to play there for about three hours after day home hours, so he get's about four hours total play per day there during summer.
What is your take parents. Should I be letting the reins go and allow him to play unsupervised at the park where I can't see or her him?
sharlan 02:20 PM 08-23-2012
Do you sit and watch out the window the entire time he is there?
clep 02:35 PM 08-23-2012
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Do you sit and watch out the window the entire time he is there?
Nope. I do my gardening, go play with him or do my work for my online job outside so I am in earshot should he smash his head on the metal pole beside the tire swing. Do you sit and watch out the window the entire time he is there?
clep 02:45 PM 08-23-2012
Oh and my other issue is concern about getting six children outside quickly to help him should he get seriously hurt. That may be a difficult situation.
daycare 02:48 PM 08-23-2012
Originally Posted by clep:
Oh and my other issue is concern about getting six children outside quickly to help him should he get seriously hurt. That may be a difficult situation.
i think it depends on your child...Oh and my other issue is concern about getting six children outside quickly to help him should he get seriously hurt. That may be a difficult situation.
Is your child one to push the limits? DO they know and understand boundaries? I know you can't predict or prevent all accidents, but perhaps you can maybe let them go for about 15 min alone, then over time increase it. that is if you are comfortable with it.
I have two teens and one I would allow to do things when they were younger that I would not let the other. My daughter has always pushed the limits, where my son does not....
you know your son best, do what YOU feel is best.......
Blackcat31 03:10 PM 08-23-2012
I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
ritah 03:26 PM 08-23-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
Agree. And for a specific amount of time before he has to come home to check in with you.
momofsix 04:06 PM 08-23-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
Yup, this!
Meyou 03:23 AM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
This is what I was going to say. I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
I let my 8 year old go to the park with her 10 year old cousin or her sisters who are teens but never alone. She also complains about the injustice of it all. 
Countrygal 05:21 AM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by ritah:
Agree. And for a specific amount of time before he has to come home to check in with you.
Agree. And for a specific amount of time before he has to come home to check in with you.Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
I agree with both of these!I would let him go WITH a friend but NEVER alone.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:35 AM 08-24-2012
Definitely not alone. That just makes me nervous. Whether he is responsible or not, if he gets seriously injured he won't be able to come get you and no one else will be able to either. 
clep 07:30 AM 08-24-2012
I should have clarified first when I originally posted. He can go to the park with his friends that I know, but cannot go without a friend from our house that has gone to the park with him.
There are most times children at the park outside our gate. I don't feel comfortable with relying on random kids to come and tell me if something happens so I haven't let him go without me being outside. Well that is one thing, as I don't know about them or their level of responsibility. I also don't feel comfortable kids I have never met coming into my house without me knowing first. I'm not really sure why I feel that way though.
How many of you would feel comfortable with your child hanging out at the park with kids you don't know in this type of situation.
The reason I am bouncing this off of others, is that I am struggling to find healthy boundaries in this area. I can be overprotective. My hubby was riding his bike across the city at nine without contacting his mom from morning till night, so he has a very different view of what is okay than I do. He is much, much more relaxed than me.
Thanks for your input everyone so far.
There are most times children at the park outside our gate. I don't feel comfortable with relying on random kids to come and tell me if something happens so I haven't let him go without me being outside. Well that is one thing, as I don't know about them or their level of responsibility. I also don't feel comfortable kids I have never met coming into my house without me knowing first. I'm not really sure why I feel that way though.
How many of you would feel comfortable with your child hanging out at the park with kids you don't know in this type of situation.
The reason I am bouncing this off of others, is that I am struggling to find healthy boundaries in this area. I can be overprotective.
My hubby was riding his bike across the city at nine without contacting his mom from morning till night, so he has a very different view of what is okay than I do. He is much, much more relaxed than me. Thanks for your input everyone so far.
clep 07:35 AM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Definitely not alone. That just makes me nervous. Whether he is responsible or not, if he gets seriously injured he won't be able to come get you and no one else will be able to either.
Definitely not alone. That just makes me nervous. Whether he is responsible or not, if he gets seriously injured he won't be able to come get you and no one else will be able to either.
Yes this is exactly how I feel. He is a responsible child but not all other children are and regardless of level of responsibility, accidents happen with all kids.
I also have this great fear of him being taken by a pedophile or something. Those parents that had their children abducted often say "I thought it would be fine", or "it was only for a minute". I would never forgive myself if something happened to him. That is my overprotective justification speaking there.
momofsix 11:06 AM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by clep:
I should have clarified first when I originally posted. He can go to the park with his friends that I know, but cannot go without a friend from our house that has gone to the park with him.
There are most times children at the park outside our gate. I don't feel comfortable with relying on random kids to come and tell me if something happens so I haven't let him go without me being outside. Well that is one thing, as I don't know about them or their level of responsibility. I also don't feel comfortable kids I have never met coming into my house without me knowing first. I'm not really sure why I feel that way though.
How many of you would feel comfortable with your child hanging out at the park with kids you don't know in this type of situation.
The reason I am bouncing this off of others, is that I am struggling to find healthy boundaries in this area. I can be overprotective. My hubby was riding his bike across the city at nine without contacting his mom from morning till night, so he has a very different view of what is okay than I do. He is much, much more relaxed than me.
Thanks for your input everyone so far.
Nope, I would have to know the friend that my child was going with. I'm a little protective that way too. My girls never went to someone's house that we didn't know. There's just way too much that could happen.I should have clarified first when I originally posted. He can go to the park with his friends that I know, but cannot go without a friend from our house that has gone to the park with him.
There are most times children at the park outside our gate. I don't feel comfortable with relying on random kids to come and tell me if something happens so I haven't let him go without me being outside. Well that is one thing, as I don't know about them or their level of responsibility. I also don't feel comfortable kids I have never met coming into my house without me knowing first. I'm not really sure why I feel that way though.
How many of you would feel comfortable with your child hanging out at the park with kids you don't know in this type of situation.
The reason I am bouncing this off of others, is that I am struggling to find healthy boundaries in this area. I can be overprotective.
My hubby was riding his bike across the city at nine without contacting his mom from morning till night, so he has a very different view of what is okay than I do. He is much, much more relaxed than me. Thanks for your input everyone so far.
As for your husband-when we were kids we left the house in the morning, came in for lunch, left again and came home by supper, left again and had to be in before the streetlights came on! Things were different then, sad to say.
cheerfuldom 12:34 PM 08-24-2012
I wouldnt let my 9 year old go to the park alone OR with a friend, unless the friend was significantly older and someone that I knew and trusted. These are not the "good old days" where school age kids can roam the neighborhood. I dont care if that makes me overprotective. I would rather be over cautious than not
Willow 03:31 PM 08-24-2012
I have a 9 year old, and if we lived in town I wouldn't let her go off on her own either. As it stands we live rurally so thankfully it's never something she's never even asked about lol
I don't see that as being overly protective, I see it as using common sense in a world where most parents have lost all.
Times have changed since we were kids, we can't raise our kids the way we were because the world just isn't the same place. Let him be mad at you for it if he wants, he can only be made if he's alive.
Not said to offend, but frankly, he's already getting quite a bit of time there a day as it is. Getting cranky for not having *more* comes off greedy to me, I wouldn't be hearing any of that, you've been more than generous as it is!!! I'd try to help him find some new hobbies to fill the time you cannot be around to supervise him there. I cannot imagine a child that age enjoying 4 hours a day swinging every single day anyway. If this were one of my kids I'd predict that would eventually get old, imaginations would start to run a bit and they'd likely find something far more interesting to fill their time there with....which would likely land them in trouble. Doesn't matter how good of kids they are, young minds left to their own unsupervised devices often land themselves in wonky territory. Just a word of caution in support of your position
I don't see that as being overly protective, I see it as using common sense in a world where most parents have lost all.
Times have changed since we were kids, we can't raise our kids the way we were because the world just isn't the same place. Let him be mad at you for it if he wants, he can only be made if he's alive.
Not said to offend, but frankly, he's already getting quite a bit of time there a day as it is. Getting cranky for not having *more* comes off greedy to me, I wouldn't be hearing any of that, you've been more than generous as it is!!! I'd try to help him find some new hobbies to fill the time you cannot be around to supervise him there. I cannot imagine a child that age enjoying 4 hours a day swinging every single day anyway. If this were one of my kids I'd predict that would eventually get old, imaginations would start to run a bit and they'd likely find something far more interesting to fill their time there with....which would likely land them in trouble. Doesn't matter how good of kids they are, young minds left to their own unsupervised devices often land themselves in wonky territory. Just a word of caution in support of your position
clep 10:32 PM 08-24-2012
Thanks everyone. I feel a bit better now. I also agree with the person that said he has lots of park time as it is. That is exactly what I was thinking. He has a whole play room, and tons of other things to busy him.
I let him know today that if he couldn't find something to do other than the park I would find some chores for him to do.
Out came the lego.
I let him know today that if he couldn't find something to do other than the park I would find some chores for him to do.
Out came the lego.