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Old 01-15-2014, 04:39 PM
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melilley melilley is offline
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Default Not A Backbone Virgin Anymore!!!!

I did it! I have a family who has been late on paying me in the past and I always let it go. Well come Monday, dcm drops dcb off w/o payment. Dcb left early with a family friend because last Wed. he got his tonsils and adnoids (sp? out at 1.5 years old) so I texted dcm and told her payment was due. She called back and I told her she could pay the next day. Well come Tuesday, they kept dcb home. I told dcm she could pay Wed. and she said she wasn't sure if dcb would be here because he wasn't 100% yet, but her dh would drop payment off. Well it's Wed. No call, no show, nothing about payment.

I texted her and asked if she was still planning on bringing payment because I haven't heard from her. I told her that I'm assessing late fees too! She hasn't called back and it's been about an hour. Why do I feel so nervous? I've kinda used my backbone before, but not like this. I HATE confrontation! My dh is a big part in this, he made me feel stronger and not take sh** this time...and you I also thought of the people on here and how I hear of you being strong and firm!
-boy I sound silly when I read this back...lol

I thought I would be nice and let her pay late, but I'm sick of this and this isn't the first time they have done this. I should have listened to advice on here and did it right from the first time! This dcm always tries to make me feel guilty and I'm not going to feel sorry for her anymore! I have also caught her in lies that she doesn't know I know, but I thought I would save her the embarrassment.

Anyways, you guys were in the back of my mind the whole time-I just thought of the things you say to your parents and remembered someone saying "this isn't personal, it's business" BC-I think it was you.

Ok I'm done. Sorry, this was a major turning point for me and for the better!
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Old 01-15-2014, 04:43 PM
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Old 01-15-2014, 05:13 PM
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I'm proud of ya... I agree it can be difficult to confront parents, but as others have said on here, where else in this world can you get any kind of product or service and pay when you feel like it.
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Old 01-15-2014, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melilley View Post
I did it! I have a family who has been late on paying me in the past and I always let it go. Well come Monday, dcm drops dcb off w/o payment. Dcb left early with a family friend because last Wed. he got his tonsils and adnoids (sp? out at 1.5 years old) so I texted dcm and told her payment was due. She called back and I told her she could pay the next day. Well come Tuesday, they kept dcb home. I told dcm she could pay Wed. and she said she wasn't sure if dcb would be here because he wasn't 100% yet, but her dh would drop payment off. Well it's Wed. No call, no show, nothing about payment.

I texted her and asked if she was still planning on bringing payment because I haven't heard from her. I told her that I'm assessing late fees too! She hasn't called back and it's been about an hour. Why do I feel so nervous? I've kinda used my backbone before, but not like this. I HATE confrontation! My dh is a big part in this, he made me feel stronger and not take sh** this time...and you I also thought of the people on here and how I hear of you being strong and firm!
-boy I sound silly when I read this back...lol

I thought I would be nice and let her pay late, but I'm sick of this and this isn't the first time they have done this. I should have listened to advice on here and did it right from the first time! This dcm always tries to make me feel guilty and I'm not going to feel sorry for her anymore! I have also caught her in lies that she doesn't know I know, but I thought I would save her the embarrassment.

Anyways, you guys were in the back of my mind the whole time-I just thought of the things you say to your parents and remembered someone saying "this isn't personal, it's business" BC-I think it was you.

Ok I'm done. Sorry, this was a major turning point for me and for the better!
Whoo hoo!

Just last week I had two people late and I had let one slide a time or two plus I had somewhere to go. It was to dinner with friends so not an appointment but still. I was sooo upset. I charge $5 for every 15 min. late or any part thereof. One gave me $5 and the other $15. The $5 one had just started 3 days earlier. Both cheerfully paid and apologized profusely. It felt sooo good!

Laurel
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Old 01-15-2014, 06:05 PM
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Go you!
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Old 01-15-2014, 06:40 PM
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You go girl!!! I need some backbone lessons too! I have one mom who always forgets! She pays the bills but dad picks up so it's hard to coordinate sometimes but I know I just have to remind her. Today she apologized and said she doesn't want to be "that mom" and would write 2 checks on the 1st and post date her 2nd payment now because that's so much easier for us both. Yay! She also picked up instead of her dh an hour later than usual...

And today proved to me with another mom that I have to institute some extra time fees. It was not a big deal before and maybe once every other month but now they're just drop-ins on occasion. Her normal hours are 7:30-4:15. She texts me at 6:30am that she's bringing them at 7 instead. Then she texts me at 3:50 that she needs to talk to her coworker about what she missed that day or something (which is also why she had to go in early) and she'll get them at 4:30 if that's ok. So now I worked an extra hour for free. It's my own fault but ugh... Just annoys me. Would $10 be worth it? She tends to be easily offended and take things personally and then act like she's all about business.
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Old 01-16-2014, 03:52 AM
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I always say none of the parents would go to work and not get paid why should we. Good for you keep up the good work
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Old 01-16-2014, 04:21 AM
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I was a softy & was taken advantage of too. No more for me either. Some people think because you are nice, you are also naive.
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Old 01-16-2014, 05:05 AM
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Well dcm showed up at 8:30 last night! I told her she had to pay, but 8:30-she claims that she "just got" the text! I'll definitely be talking to her about that today! My dh answered the door and wasn't very friendly. Dcm just talked to him in her whiney voice trying to get sympathy that she had to come over at night.

She paid for this week and next. There was definitely angry writing on that second check!


TOO BAD ha!
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Old 01-16-2014, 05:06 AM
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Thanks everyone!!!
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Old 01-16-2014, 05:17 AM
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So, did she pay up?
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Old 01-16-2014, 05:25 AM
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So, did she pay up?
At 8:30 last night! My dh answered the door (I was putting my 1 yo to bed) and said she had the sad puppy dog look on her face and was whiney. She's always like that when something happens. He said he answered the door and said "hello" and gave her a look. Not mean, but stern. Dh is a retail manager so he's used to people and their shenanigans and doesn't put up with bs and is very forward..lol She said her dh didn't tell her he didn't pay....,I call bs because dcb wasn't even here yesterday! She always says lies.

I didn't charge the late fee. THe way I put it in my text, it sounded like if she paid yesterday, there wouldn't be one, but from now on there will be. Dcb hasn't been dropped off yet so I haven't had a chance to talk to dcm or dcd.
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Old 01-16-2014, 05:41 AM
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I have a dcm who frequently forgets when it is time for her to pay (she pays bi-weekly) and I gently remind her and she's always very apologetic and tells me I should not have to remind her. I don't mind that type of interaction because I know she's very busy, and holds a very stressful position at her job.

However, I have a family who I had to get a backbone with yesterday because they've been paying me a week late (rather than a week ahead like it states in my contract) since after Christmas. I sent a letter home with a copy of their contract yesterday, so hopefully that will put a quick stop to the "Oh we're just trying to catch up from the holidays can I pay you on blah blah blah..."

It's hard at first but when you plant your feet and realize you're offering a valuable service that deserves payment (you're caring for the most important people in their lives!) according to your set standards, and it's strictly business, it gets easier.
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Old 01-16-2014, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted by taylorw1210 View Post
I have a dcm who frequently forgets when it is time for her to pay (she pays bi-weekly) and I gently remind her and she's always very apologetic and tells me I should not have to remind her. I don't mind that type of interaction because I know she's very busy, and holds a very stressful position at her job.

However, I have a family who I had to get a backbone with yesterday because they've been paying me a week late (rather than a week ahead like it states in my contract) since after Christmas. I sent a letter home with a copy of their contract yesterday, so hopefully that will put a quick stop to the "Oh we're just trying to catch up from the holidays can I pay you on blah blah blah..."

It's hard at first but when you plant your feet and realize you're offering a valuable service that deserves payment (you're caring for the most important people in their lives!) according to your set standards, and it's strictly business, it gets easier.
I hope it gets easier! I'm to the point with this family that it's pretty easy, so that's a start.
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:40 AM
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I hope it gets easier! I'm to the point with this family that it's pretty easy, so that's a start.
It DOES get easier. I promise.

After so many years of doing this job I see the same excuses used over and over. I am now "gifted" in being able to read between the lines

Plus, you learn after a while what is and isn't YOUR problem. When DCM said DCD didn't tell her that he didn't pay, my first thought was "Wow, DCM should be really mad at him now" because him not telling her has NOTHING to do with you.

When she said she didn't get the text, I would have said, it didn't matter because I don't normally send texts or reminders to people when payment is past due.....kwim? You shouldn't have to remind or text her about payment due dates when that is HER responsibility.

She is also lucky you allowed her to come over after business hours. I don't allow that. Business happens between business hours ONLY. I don't care if providers live in the homes they provide care in. You have a right to NOT have to deal with business on your off hours.

Sounds to me like this mom is just mad now because you enforced a rule she agreed to.

The next time she tries to give you any sort of sob story or excuse just look her right in the eye and say "I am sorry you are having to deal with that. Your balance due is xxx." and smile.

HER life issues have NOTHING to do with her payment due. NOTHING. The faster providers learn to separate those things from each other, the easier it is to deal with payments.

Can you imagine your dentist whining to you about his lawn issues.... You would be scratching your head and wondering what that has to do with your teeth right? Same thing!! Daycare parents personal issues (including budgeting) have ZERO to do with the services you provided and expect to be paid for.

Good job standing your ground!!! Because it's business and NOT personal.
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:56 AM
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It DOES get easier. I promise.

After so many years of doing this job I see the same excuses used over and over. I am now "gifted" in being able to read between the lines

Plus, you learn after a while what is and isn't YOUR problem. When DCM said DCD didn't tell her that he didn't pay, my first thought was "Wow, DCM should be really mad at him now" because him not telling her has NOTHING to do with you.

When she said she didn't get the text, I would have said, it didn't matter because I don't normally send texts or reminders to people when payment is past due.....kwim? You shouldn't have to remind or text her about payment due dates when that is HER responsibility.

She is also lucky you allowed her to come over after business hours. I don't allow that. Business happens between business hours ONLY. I don't care if providers live in the homes they provide care in. You have a right to NOT have to deal with business on your off hours.

Sounds to me like this mom is just mad now because you enforced a rule she agreed to.

The next time she tries to give you any sort of sob story or excuse just look her right in the eye and say "I am sorry you are having to deal with that. Your balance due is xxx." and smile.

HER life issues have NOTHING to do with her payment due. NOTHING. The faster providers learn to separate those things from each other, the easier it is to deal with payments.

Can you imagine your dentist whining to you about his lawn issues.... You would be scratching your head and wondering what that has to do with your teeth right? Same thing!! Daycare parents personal issues (including budgeting) have ZERO to do with the services you provided and expect to be paid for.

Good job standing your ground!!! Because it's business and NOT personal.
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  #17  
Old 01-20-2014, 08:17 AM
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Default Good for you!

It's tough to be tough with them but it's worse to feel like you're being walked over. I have a pre-payment contract with my six families. In the contract, it says if you don't pay for the week, you do not drop your child off. I normally offer one grace day, if they bring payment when they pick the child up. Then I let them know that they will not be offered any more grace days, and they will not be dropping the child off if they don't bring payment.

I know I'm harsh, but they know where I stand, and I've never had to refuse a child because of a missed payment, and I don't have to charge late fees. I've always told my parents I will treat them as business clients, and their children as family members, but I will not confuse the two.
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