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Old 02-11-2014, 06:59 AM
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crazydaycarelady crazydaycarelady is offline
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Default DCD Emailed Me, Should I Say Something To Other Family?

I got this from a dcd this morning:
Quote:
So I noticed tonight at pick-up that S got down in A's face and yelled at him (he was doing nothing). So on the way home I gently asked the older two what they thought about how S plays with other kids. Well I got an ear full, nose pinching, yelling, ear pulling on the babies, hitting and so on. It surprised me when the answers came out so easy and consistenly from them both. I can normally tell when they are pulling my leg because they are not nearly as quick on their feet.
Anyway I just wanted to share what I saw and heard. I would have said something at pickup but its always a little hectic. Normally I would not have a concern about this as I trust your care and guidance of the kids, but A is still so little and defenseless in this situation so I wanted to be sure to call it to your attention.

My immediate response:
Quote:
Thanks so much for bringing this up. I always appreciate problems being dealt with head on. I did not see her do that to A. I have been having some problems with yelling, screaming, and general bad behavior with S. She gets a lot of time-outs and when her behavior is really uncalled for she gets removed from the group and put in a time-out in her bed. I will keep a close eye. Thanks so much

Would you say anything to the family with the brat? The older sibling was a brat also (and other parents mentioned it) but he has outgrown us now. I am looking at 2 more years with the little brat. I don't call kids brats lightly, but she really IS a brat!
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Old 02-11-2014, 07:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady View Post
I got this from a dcd this morning:


My immediate response:


Would you say anything to the family with the brat? The older sibling was a brat also (and other parents mentioned it) but he has outgrown us now. I am looking at 2 more years with the little brat. I don't call kids brats lightly, but she really IS a brat!
I would be extremely concerned about losing your good families (I hate to label one as good or bad but still...) over just one "bad egg"....so I definitely would document and address the behavior issues with the parents and give them a specific time frame to correct it. It obviously is a huge problem with that dcd and I would worry about him pulling his children if he felt the issue wasn't being addressed...
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Old 02-11-2014, 07:44 AM
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LadyPearl LadyPearl is offline
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Well, could this "brat" cost you other families? I would say something.
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Old 02-11-2014, 07:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady View Post
I got this from a dcd this morning:


My immediate response:


Would you say anything to the family with the brat? The older sibling was a brat also (and other parents mentioned it) but he has outgrown us now. I am looking at 2 more years with the little brat. I don't call kids brats lightly, but she really IS a brat!
I would not mention to the family of the difficult child that another family said anything. No one likes to think they are the topic of conversation of other families...kwim?

The ONLY thing I would mention to the family of the difficult child is the issues I personally am witnessing and seeing first hand. Issues that need to be worked on or stopped.

I would not say any other family is involved or talking about it.

To the family that sent the text, I would just say "Thanks for the head's up. It's something I am working on. Please rest assured that I will not allow your child to be harmed in any way and the level of quality supervision and guidance will remain unchanged."

I wouldn't give updates or anything else about how it's going.

Each family has a right to privacy and confidentiality and although that is a slippery slope in this field we still need to do the best we can.

If the tough child is too much to manage or the behavior doesn't change or improve, I would term. It wouldn't be worth losing other families over.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 02-11-2014 at 08:07 AM.
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Old 02-11-2014, 08:04 AM
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I would’ve handled it a little differently. I would’ve responded to the email:

Hello DCD,

I really appreciate your taking the time to express your concerns. I will continue to keep an eye on the situation & handle it accordingly. Thank you for caring!

Respectfully,

DCP


I would’ve refrained from giving in specifics in writing about another child. As far as the other DCPs I would address their child’s behavior only. I would not inform them another DCP has complained.

I hope A improves with your guidance!
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Old 02-11-2014, 08:21 AM
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If your afraid of others leaving because of this one child I would suggest sitting down with the both parents and just let them know what's going on and like someone else said set up a timeframe for changes or they will need to find different care.

The way I see things is the parents have hired us to keep their children safe and healthy while they are not available to do so themselves.

I had a BRAT DCG and she literally ruled at home as well as daycare. I did not realize how much until she left. My DD was afraid to even touch her own toys without permission from this girl. My daycare changed completely when she left. So much less stress for all.
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Old 02-11-2014, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I would not mention to the family of the difficult child that another family said anything. No one likes to think they are the topic of conversation of other families...kwim?

The ONLY thing I would mention to the family of the difficult child is the issues I personally am witnessing and seeing first hand. Issues that need to be worked on or stopped.

I would not say any other family is involved or talking about it.

To the family that sent the text, I would just say "Thanks for the head's up. It's something I am working on. Please rest assured that I will not allow your child to be harmed in any way and the level of quality supervision and guidance will remain unchanged."

I wouldn't give updates or anything else about how it's going.

Each family has a right to privacy and confidentiality and although that is a slippery slope in this field we still need to do the best we can.

If the tough child is too much to manage or the behavior doesn't change or improve, I would term. It wouldn't be worth losing other families over.
As always, well worded.

Again, I would address this child's behavior even if it wasn't upsetting another parent just because it can make things so much more difficult for you and the other kids. Just document your observations and talk to the parents about their plan.
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Old 02-11-2014, 09:58 AM
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I like how you handled it. I would also say in person, that it gives kids the opportunity to learn how to tell another child no, stick up for themselves/each other and not be pushed around. It IS a learning experience.
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Old 02-11-2014, 11:09 AM
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Bad behavior is like a virus. Children learn more from each other at this age than anyone else and if it is not addressed the problem will magnify and your good families will either leave or lose respect for you as in their eyes you would allow the behavior. Set the standard and expectations. And by all means the parents need to be told so you both can work together to correct the problem or possibly may be a family dynamic change that is causes the child to act out.
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