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Old 05-06-2015, 04:59 AM
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Default And The Sunscreen Drama Begins...

So remember the sunscreen battle issue? DCB is here today (1st day this week) and DCM sent a text saying she packed shorts in case it gets hot (cool in the mornings here). I said great sunscreen too right? She replied yes and I thought really?! No drama!? Woohoo!! Lol.

And then I get the next message saying to send it back with him and we can "share." Not how it works DCM! He needs to have some to leave here. I text her back a just no nonsense he needs some to stay here. And then I get the like 5 message long sob story of how HARD it was to find sunscreen and how its the ONLY one he has and that this is going to be solo difficult but oh its ok, you keep it I didn't engage at all, just said "sounds good! I'll let you know when we get low! Lol yeah she's mad. Who was it that said this was all about control? Because that is exactly what this is about! DCM has had 3 weeks, plenty of time to pick up 2 and I'm pretty sure when you bought the first one, they had more then one in the store

I got an email this morning from another part time family and although I wasn't going to accept anyone new until after this baby is here I'm seriously considering replacing them. Too much drama for me.
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Old 05-06-2015, 05:07 AM
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Sunscreen hard to find? Really? Um walk into any store and there are shelves upon shelves of it lol.
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Old 05-06-2015, 05:18 AM
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Lol I know! Its like we have about 5 drugstores, 2 grocery stores, Walmart and target all within a 5 mile radius. Her husband actally works IN one of those. Its just sunscreen for goodness sake!
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Old 05-06-2015, 05:19 AM
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Originally Posted by finsup View Post
So remember the sunscreen battle issue? DCB is here today (1st day this week) and DCM sent a text saying she packed shorts in case it gets hot (cool in the mornings here). I said great sunscreen too right? She replied yes and I thought really?! No drama!? Woohoo!! Lol.

And then I get the next message saying to send it back with him and we can "share." Not how it works DCM! He needs to have some to leave here. I text her back a just no nonsense he needs some to stay here. And then I get the like 5 message long sob story of how HARD it was to find sunscreen and how its the ONLY one he has and that this is going to be solo difficult but oh its ok, you keep it I didn't engage at all, just said "sounds good! I'll let you know when we get low! Lol yeah she's mad. Who was it that said this was all about control? Because that is exactly what this is about! DCM has had 3 weeks, plenty of time to pick up 2 and I'm pretty sure when you bought the first one, they had more then one in the store

I got an email this morning from another part time family and although I wasn't going to accept anyone new until after this baby is here I'm seriously considering replacing them. Too much drama for me.
BINGO!! I knew it was about control and not one bit about sun screen.

You could always tell her since its so hard to find that you will gladly purchase some for him when he gets low and add it to her invoice.

Of course, charge a fee for your time, your troubles, your gas, the simple fact that you are doing something they could do themselves, a courtesy fee, a "power struggle" fee, a multiple texting fee and probably an eye exam fee for all the eye rolling you've had to do with this family. Good Grief!


I say, interview EVERYONE!! Sounds like anyone might be better and/or easier to work with.
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Old 05-06-2015, 05:23 AM
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BINGO!! I knew it was about control and not one bit about sun screen.

You could always tell her since its so hard to find that you will gladly purchase some for him when he gets low and add it to her invoice.

Of course, charge a fee for your time, your troubles, your gas, the simple fact that you are doing something they could do themselves, a courtesy fee, a "power struggle" fee, a multiple texting fee and probably an eye exam fee for all the eye rolling you've had to do with this family. Good Grief!


I say, interview EVERYONE!! Sounds like anyone might be better and/or easier to work with.
Lol that's my plan for if she gets into it at pick up. Oh yeah, I was trying to stick it out until after this baby is born but October is a long ways away!
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Old 05-06-2015, 05:59 AM
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and probably an eye exam fee for all the eye rolling you've had to do with this family. Good Grief! .
I just about spit soda across my computer screen. Priceless.
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Old 05-06-2015, 06:04 AM
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I loved one response from your other thread. Not sure who, but they buy a bunch of sunscreen and when someone forgets to bring some she writes the child's name with a sharpie on the bottle and charges double or triple what she actually paid for that bottle. Suddenly all the parents "remember" to bring their own in. No fuss.
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Old 05-06-2015, 06:23 AM
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Lolol. Love it. Sunscreen is readily available this time of year AND it's available in a 2 pack for a discounted price!
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Old 05-06-2015, 06:59 AM
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Lolol. Love it. Sunscreen is readily available this time of year AND it's available in a 2 pack for a discounted price!
Lol I know! Its just like how dumb do you think I am that I would actually feel bad for you about this?!

But replacement family looks promising, I quoted them a somewhat high rate and they responded with my rate was perfect. I'm still a little in shock NO ONE has ever responded with that. In fact a good amount try to argue it down! Trying not to get too excited, I haven't met them yet, but man I would be so happy to replace and be done with this family before October.
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Old 05-06-2015, 07:52 AM
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If she doesn't want to leave it you could always tell her to apply it before he comes, and then you will call her to come reapply during the day if needed.
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Old 05-06-2015, 07:59 AM
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Does she want to get it back every day? To me it is not a problem. I will not remind her to bring it back. If parents provide sunscreen I apply it on a child. If they don't provide I don't apply. No drama.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:05 AM
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Does she want to get it back every day? To me it is not a problem. I will not remind her to bring it back. If parents provide sunscreen I apply it on a child. If they don't provide I don't apply. No drama.
Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. If they don't bring sunscreen and the provider allows the kid to go outside and the kid gets burnt, it's the provider who is in trouble.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:16 AM
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Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. If they don't bring sunscreen and the provider allows the kid to go outside and the kid gets burnt, it's the provider who is in trouble.
This would fall under the category in my handbook that states that if a child is unprepared they will not be able to participate. So for me, this child would have to sit on the shaded deck while the others were playing if she did not have her sunblock

I missed the other post
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:28 AM
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Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. If they don't bring sunscreen and the provider allows the kid to go outside and the kid gets burnt, it's the provider who is in trouble.
Nope. It means that PARENTS don't apply sunscreen when they bring a child here. It is their responsibility. I have no right to apply anything on a child if parents don't provide it.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:28 AM
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This would fall under the category in my handbook that states that if a child is unprepared they will not be able to participate. So for me, this child would have to sit on the shaded deck while the others were playing if she did not have her sunblock

I missed the other post
Yes, DCM wants it to go back and forth each day. I know some are fine with that, but it's just too much for me to keep track of. We have no shade right now (leaves aren't back) so the kids are in full sun anytime we're outdoors and I can't in good conscience not apply it I know with his skin he would def get burned. I don't want to be calling for pick up every time they forget it and have to deal with that over and over again. But basically this mom just wants to decide the rules and tell me how to do things. Which is not gonna happen she'll be paying oh a 30$ "summer fee" if she gives me a hard time at pick up. Then she can happily take her sunscreen home, I'll get 30 extra dollars and only 6 or so will have to go towards sunscreen lol.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:39 AM
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Yes, DCM wants it to go back and forth each day. I know some are fine with that, but it's just too much for me to keep track of. We have no shade right now (leaves aren't back) so the kids are in full sun anytime we're outdoors and I can't in good conscience not apply it I know with his skin he would def get burned. I don't want to be calling for pick up every time they forget it and have to deal with that over and over again. But basically this mom just wants to decide the rules and tell me how to do things. Which is not gonna happen she'll be paying oh a 30$ "summer fee" if she gives me a hard time at pick up. Then she can happily take her sunscreen home, I'll get 30 extra dollars and only 6 or so will have to go towards sunscreen lol.
That's what I would do. There is no reason for this to be an issue, other than mom needs to have an issue for drama apparently.
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Old 05-06-2015, 08:42 AM
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I don't understand this mom. First she doesn't want to apply it beforehand because hse is worried it will wear off, but she also deosn't want to leave a bottle so you have as much as you need without having to worry about it. She needs to make up her mind. If she still gives you a hard time at pick up, I would tell her she can either leave a bottle or she can pay the "summer stocking fee" of $100 and you will supply it for her. I don't think that is too much to ask, because sunscreen is expensive and if your kids go through it like mine, it can be possible to go through a bottle in a week or two, so that is like $20-30 a month depending on what kind you buy. In our area, the hot parts of summer is about three months, so asking for a fee of $100 for supplying an entire summer of sunscreen, plus the inconvenience of having to buy it, is not unreasonable to me. She will either leave a bottle or pay the fee. Easy peasy
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Old 05-06-2015, 10:55 AM
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Nope. It means that PARENTS don't apply sunscreen when they bring a child here. It is their responsibility. I have no right to apply anything on a child if parents don't provide it.
Oh I'm not saying you have the right to apply sunscreen they didn't bring. I'm saying once you tale custody of the child, from that second on, you are responsible to do the right thing. You have the choice to turn the child away at the door. You have the right to not tale him into the sun. You do not have the right to expose him to the sun without sunscreen. If you require it and apply it to the other kids but allow him to go uncovered and he is injured... it is 100 percent your fault.

Two wrongs don't make a right. You can't blame the parents if you are the one that is in charge of him when he gets burnt. They brought him to daycare and dropped him off in your home. They didn't expose him to the sun.

This is the kind of thinking that lands providers with founded cases of abuse and neglect.

Child protective workers don't care who was supposed to supply the sunscreen. They care about who let the burnt child into the sun without it.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:09 AM
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I don't understand this mom. First she doesn't want to apply it beforehand because hse is worried it will wear off, but she also deosn't want to leave a bottle so you have as much as you need without having to worry about it. She needs to make up her mind. If she still gives you a hard time at pick up, I would tell her she can either leave a bottle or she can pay the "summer stocking fee" of $100 and you will supply it for her. I don't think that is too much to ask, because sunscreen is expensive and if your kids go through it like mine, it can be possible to go through a bottle in a week or two, so that is like $20-30 a month depending on what kind you buy. In our area, the hot parts of summer is about three months, so asking for a fee of $100 for supplying an entire summer of sunscreen, plus the inconvenience of having to buy it, is not unreasonable to me. She will either leave a bottle or pay the fee. Easy peasy
Lol 100$ would be awesome but...its probably pushing it a bit too much. DCB is 1 and the size of a 6m old, one bottle really should do it for the summer (plus he's only here max 3 days). However, we start talking about 3, 4, 5, year old full time kids oh yeah the rate would be much higher! Although if I said 100 I'm pretty sure that sunscreen would happily stay here lol.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:11 AM
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charge an annual fee of $50 to all of my clients. It's paid upon enrollment and then again each sept. I purchase sunscreen. No more drama.

It's in my handbook that if I request something (I give notices and have them sign with a DUE BY date on it) and it's not here... I purchase it and I charge for the item + a $20 inconvenience fee. I JUST did this with rain boots for a dcb. The mother stuttered over how she could not find them in time, well they were in 5 different stores within a 5 mile radius of your house. I gave 30 days notice and NOBODY else had a problem finding them. I actually went to two different ones before deciding on a (more expensive) pair that I knew he would LOVE (firetrucks vs plain blue).

This goes for anything that I don't supply (proper clothing, basically). I have charged four times. The rainboot family were repeat offenders, I just charged them for snow pants in October when she tried sweats and track pants.

Money is NOT an issue for them either (and honestly, it isn't for most parents we serve with small expenses like these). The Mom just passes the buck to Dad, and he passes it back, and I was tired of their drama.

K starts in Sept!
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:18 AM
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I would totally want to empty 3/4 of the bottle in to another container to keep at my house and just tell them to keep the rest. They'll end up having to go out and buy a new bottle before summer even really begins. What a loon.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:20 AM
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Oh I'm not saying you have the right to apply sunscreen they didn't bring. I'm saying once you tale custody of the child, from that second on, you are responsible to do the right thing. You have the choice to turn the child away at the door. You have the right to not tale him into the sun. You do not have the right to expose him to the sun without sunscreen. If you require it and apply it to the other kids but allow him to go uncovered and he is injured... it is 100 percent your fault.

Two wrongs don't make a right. You can't blame the parents if you are the one that is in charge of him when he gets burnt. They brought him to daycare and dropped him off in your home. They didn't expose him to the sun.

This is the kind of thinking that lands providers with founded cases of abuse and neglect.

Child protective workers don't care who was supposed to supply the sunscreen. They care about who let the burnt child into the sun without it.
I can contest to this.....my good friends years ago were going through a nasty divorce.

well dad took the twins to the beach and didn't apply sunscreen on them. So guess who won full custody of the kids. She did.

Dads reason that he didn't supply sunscreen for the twins was that he picked the kids up from her house where he picked up their diaper bag and there was no sunscreen in there that he bought to leave in the bag. So he didn't have any when they went to the beach later that day and instead of doing the right thing and going back to mom to go get it or going to buy more, he decided not to put it on.... Well now he only gets visits with his kids, because one of the kids suffered almost 3rd degree burns from one day in the sun at the beach...... that is neglect

as she said, two wrongs don't make a right. They buy the sunscreen and it stays there so you can keep the child safe. if they don't bring it to you, then you need to refuse care until they do. or make a plan that will assure that the kid gets sunscreen on every single day.....
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:23 AM
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Put some in a Tupperware container for her to keep at home and you keep the original bottle. Problem solved
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:29 AM
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Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. If they don't bring sunscreen and the provider allows the kid to go outside and the kid gets burnt, it's the provider who is in trouble.
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:33 AM
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daycare center in MO had a policy the child arrives with sunscreen. the child got badly burned.. Not sure if the child had any on or they did not reapply but they were charged with neglect. the center not the parents
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Old 05-06-2015, 11:43 AM
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I at a mass text today::
Note to all families ::
Because of a skin reaction last year I will not be providing sunscreen for all of the children. Please bring sunscreen labeled with your child's name to use at daycare. I will apply each time we go out and let you know when your child's supply runs low. Thank you.

I had two moms drop Off at lunch so I would have it this afternoon.
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Old 05-06-2015, 12:26 PM
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Put some in a Tupperware container for her to keep at home and you keep the original bottle. Problem solved
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Old 05-06-2015, 05:55 PM
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Any update? What happened when dcm picked up?
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Old 05-07-2015, 07:47 AM
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I would totally want to empty 3/4 of the bottle in to another container to keep at my house and just tell them to keep the rest. They'll end up having to go out and buy a new bottle before summer even really begins. What a loon.
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Old 05-07-2015, 10:12 AM
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Any update? What happened when dcm picked up?
She avoided the subject lol. DCM is a lot braver through text or email then she is in person Once and a while she'll surprise me but most of the time she hides behind a screen.
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Old 05-07-2015, 11:14 AM
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She avoided the subject lol. DCM is a lot braver through text or email then she is in person Once and a while she'll surprise me but most of the time she hides behind a screen.
Ahhh. The passive aggressive texter. I know the type.
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