So, I had planned a little Christmas Party/Pajama party for the kids I was going to have today (their schedules so often are different than each other, plus a couple are just drop ins, that lately I only have about 1-2 kids at a time, but today I was supposed to have them at the same time so that's why I chose today, and also because nobody is scheduled again until next week). So anyway, I make the preparations, buy a couple special things for it, plan the craft, plan a couple games, find a Christmas movie for them to watch (I hardly ever have the kids watching a movie while they're here, so that's special for them), etc. Well yesterday I mention something about it to dcg7 and she says, "I don't think I'm coming tomorrow. Mom said it changed". So once her mom gets here to pick her up she tells me she forgot to tell me, "I don't have to work tomorrow and will be helping someone get ready for their Christmas party instead". Dcg7 mentions the party I was going to have for them and the dcm tells me, " I'm sorry it's so last minute and I didn't tell you earlier". Then later that evening I find out my two drop ins who were going to be here are also not going to be able to come after all. Then at 5 am this morning I get a text from another dcm saying she got taken off the schedule at work and dcg wouldn't be coming. So I have no kids today! On their Christmas Party day! Does the fact that their child missed out on their Christmas party really matter so little to parents? So I'm out the money and time I put into this, and disappointed because I had looked forward to it myself. But mostly I guess I feel like I'm not valued enough as a childcare provider that the parents don't even care about this party I'd planned for their children. I'm happy about the unexpected day off and going back to bed for a few hours was nice, but it bothers me that it meant so little to anyone.

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I have the same problem and it is making me nuts right now. I was supposed to have all my kids Monday. Then DCM of three told me that dad is off this week they won't be here. I told her the other two would be here every morning this week (turns out not Thurs now), pick a day they could come a couple of hours for our party. Here it is Tuesday and I haven't heard a word from her. We were going to use stickers to decorate the boxes with our mom gifts, unwrap our gifts and watch inside out. I guess I am still going to do those things but just with the two. Sigh. I guess for me it isn't even the work I did as much as I feel like the kids are getting shorted.

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Your feelings are justified in my eyes!

Every year I feel the need to re-train myself, so to speak, that although the holidays are important to me and I WANT to do things for the families I have, it rarely works the way I planned or hoped.

I try not to get disappointed, but it still happens every year.
So.... hugs!! I understand!
Enjoy the time to yourself and your family!

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I see both sides actually. I can understand people getting last minute schedule changes, especially this time of year. But then, being a provider I certainly understand where you're coming from too. I don't think dcps understand our input into their child/ren's lives, which is always the top reason why when we need to make choices, they need to be made with our own best interests at heart.

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Exactly. It's not the work and money put into it so much as feeling bad about telling the kids what we were doing and them looking forward to it and then not even getting to come. And that I was kind of looking forward to it myself (I have fun with my kids ) I liked having "an excuse" to do different things than normal An excuse for pajamas all day, an excuse for a movie, an excuse for a junk food snack, etc. I might still try to do a pajama party with any who might come on New Year's eve day. I should have at least one. She's scheduled for that day anyway...
Thanks for the understanding

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Oh yeah, I understand the parent's schedules changing and not wanting to bring them if they don't have to. I always like when the parents want to spend more time with their child. At the daycares I have worked at before, though, if a parent ended up not needing care on the day of a party, they would still bring them for the morning anyway so they could still participate. A lot of times the parent would even stay with their child and help out. But it was more the dismissive "I could care less" way that they acted about it for the party here. Like dcg7 reminding her mom about the party she was supposed to have here today and mom being so dismissive. "Oh yeah, sorry the change in schedule is so last minute", with the tone of voice that it's no big deal that dcg miss the party. I guess to her dcg has several parties she gets to go to (with school and several relatives having parties), so what does it matter if she misses one? But to a 7 yr old, they care about each and every party. Poor thing, she even asked her mom if she could stay the night here last night so she'd be able to come to the party, and her mom told her no because she'd miss a party that evening at dcm's friend's house if she did.

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I'm having the opposite experience. Parents made a big deal to me about picking their kids up early this week, and they've stayed until closing.

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I think we care more .The parents do not realize how close we are to the kids.Its very disappointing.You could do a Little Christmas party on Jan 6th instead. I would still do the movie and have fun with who is there. I stopped planning so much these last few years.We did movie cupcake and craft.I gave them their gifts on there last day before the holiday.

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I am sorry you are disappointed.

My take on it -
I finished all the dck crafts/Christmas presents etc. last week and had them ready to take home Monday. I figured parents would randomly have Grandparents want to keep kids, take an extra day of etc and this week would be unpredictably low. That's fine. The kids and I have been Christmas partying it up here for a month (it feels like) lol. My SIL had to attend 2 different daycare parties for her two kids at their center, she had to bring treats. She said it was super stressful and not fun for her at all. Hope her kids had fun, but I don't think spending more time at daycare is the reason for the season KWIM And I know that's not what you were saying in your post, but I think we should try to make the time they are with us special and be grateful they get some extra family time.

Related note - charge by schedule and not by attendance and then when they don't come it doesn't hurt financially and you can enjoy the break

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I always plan an open house buffet party the 2nd Sunday in December; I know parents will show - 1, because it's before they take off on vacation & 2, its a weekend with no commitment to daycare (I still get to claim deductions too - it's a 3 hr timeframe I offer for party); I give out my babies presents on this day so I don't stress later when everyone takes vacay - half my kids left Friday last week for vacation until January lol. BTW, all the parents gave me a gift at the party. I tell them it's my thank you for using my services. Never failed for 11 years now (I always give 6 weeks notice, plus a reminder 2 weeks prior); Later on that same night (around 5pm) I have a 2nd party for friends... I get my party obligations done in one shot over a 7 hr span in one day lol

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This. January 6th Is 3 kings day. I celebrate it with my family and I always give the daycare kids a little something that day (like a tiny gift).

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oh, and Orthodox and some Catholic churches celebrate Christmas on January 7. yeah, a little unconventional, but still a holiday, right?

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January 7th is the feast day of the epiphany it's the day the wise men arrived. My family sometimes saves a small gift to exchange on the epiphany and then have a family party for Candlemas feb 2nd.

Merry Christmas!

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That's a good idea : ) I might try again for January 6th. And it may even mean more to the kids since they will have had a break between parties.

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I completely agree. I think by now even the little kids are all partied and Christmassed out but by then I'm sure they'd love to do it all over again!! Plus if you're the passive-aggressive type(like myself snicker snicker) you can give them a high sugar-filled snack about 30 minutes before pick-up and it'll be kinda like a little payback for them.

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The best thing to do is not to assign your value to a special event. You are valued to these parents because you look after their kids. period. They forgot or didn't really think too much about your party but that doesn't mean they don't value you. That is your misguided thoughts about it. Chances are they just thought it was no big deal and you were only doing it because you felt you "had" to or something.

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