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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parents Want Me To "Shorten" Nap Time
Unregistered 06:37 AM 02-02-2018
I have "those" parents, the ones that don't like to hear their princess cry. Princess, 2 years fights bedtime and they comply with her and fight with her, run to her and so on. Obviously she is getting what she wants so why not. So, because she fights them they blame the nap here 1-3. I mean it can't be at all their parenting or lack of. They want me to get her up after one hour because they think she is fighting them because she is not tired at bedtime. She fights them because they play into it her game. Have you guys ever been asked to shorten nap time? I am not planning on listening to their request anyways. But just wanted to see how you would handle this. Thanks
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Homebody 06:55 AM 02-02-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have "those" parents, the ones that don't like to hear their princess cry. Princess, 2 years fights bedtime and they comply with her and fight with her, run to her and so on. Obviously she is getting what she wants so why not. So, because she fights them they blame the nap here 1-3. I mean it can't be at all their parenting or lack of. They want me to get her up after one hour because they think she is fighting them because she is not tired at bedtime. She fights them because they play into it her game. Have you guys ever been asked to shorten nap time? I am not planning on listening to their request anyways. But just wanted to see how you would handle this. Thanks
I've never been asked to shorten a nap yet, and I don't blame you for not wanting to change your schedule. Recently a toddler I watch started to fight his naps and bedtime at home, but I wasn't having any problems with him myself. I told his mom what our naptime routine was and that I use a fan for white noise and play lullaby music during nap. So, she started doing this at home, and she hasn't had any more issues.

Do you have any problems with her napping for you? If not then maybe tell them about your routine and such, and see if it works for them.
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Jupadia 07:19 AM 02-02-2018
At age 2, no I would not shorten nap time. At 3 I may depending on child cause some of them that turn 4 before the end of the year will be attending Jr. kindergarden all day and won't nap there. But not till just a couple months before school. Even then I'll hand out books or a board puzzle for them to do at the start of nap so they fall asleep later. Even then it can depend on child
Mostly I find parents have to change how they handle bed time. I had one at age 4 still needed full 2 hour nap cause mom would go lay down with him to go to sleep at night and he would play more then try to sleep. Cause of this often he was not falling asleep till 10 or 11 at night. So he very much needed nap here without it his behaviour was a really bad.
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Baby Beluga 07:24 AM 02-02-2018
Is she naturally waking early from nap, on her own? If not, her body still needs to rest and sleep. I would tell the parents this.
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hwichlaz 07:25 AM 02-02-2018
Our school has nap time for the first trimester of senior kindergarten, thank goodness. So kids that haven't been ready to wean off a nap the summer before are still covered.
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Blackcat31 07:29 AM 02-02-2018
My policies state that ALL children rest during afternoon rest time. If a parent feels their child no longer needs this rest period, they must submit their notice of withdrawal from my program as their child is no longer a good fit.

I refuse to discuss actual rest time or modification or adjustment of MY program's schedule.

I am in charge of the rules and policies in my program and as a parent they get to decide if those rules and policies work for them/their family/their child etc. and that is the ONLY thing parents get to dictate here.

I would ask that parent if they are submitting notice of withdrawal since your program no longer meets their child's needs?
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hwichlaz 07:30 AM 02-02-2018
In the past, I've let parents know that I'd make an attempt to shorten nap time. Then I do nothing. And the parents report the placebo effect. :P
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Ariana 09:32 AM 02-02-2018
Every parent I have ever had has at some point asked for this. My rest period is from 1-3 for sleepers and 1-2 for non sleepers. Every time I have had a parent request a shorter nap time that kid is the one that falls asleep within the first few minutes of nap time because they are so tired. I let them sleep for the duration of nap. There is just no way a kids nap, at 2 is interfering with night time sleep. In fact IME a longer, better nap helps night time sleep!

After the age of 2.5 I let the parents know that adjusting their kids bedtime is the best option when they nap here. I did this with my own kids. The bed time moved up by an hour when they napped. Everyone gets 1 hour of quiet relax time whether they sleep or not.

My kid gets rest time at school right now and I would not dream of asking the teachers to not let her sleep (she doesn’t). If she needs it she can sleep. I will deal with her being up late if it comes to it. Its not a big deal!
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Unregistered 10:28 AM 02-02-2018
This girl has been here since she was 8 weeks. She never ever gives me a hard time about her nap. I have to wake her up most days at 3. Her parents just fall for her antics at home. She is quite the handful at home and she is good here. I will not be changing her schedule here. I will tell them I did, lol. I forgot to add that they put her to bed too early. So really all this is just their issue to figure out.
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ColorfulSunburst 03:47 PM 02-02-2018
Recommend them to put her for night rest later then they do it now.
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Mom2Two 04:22 PM 02-02-2018
I wouldn't shorten a nap on request. If a two-year-old child falls asleep and stays asleep, they obviously need the nap.

I might wake a child up at two hours for a family who was trying to get a child to sleep through the night and was trying to create a good schedule.

I don't require naps for older children, but it's the child's behavior that guides that choice.
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Ariana 06:19 PM 02-02-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This girl has been here since she was 8 weeks. She never ever gives me a hard time about her nap. I have to wake her up most days at 3. Her parents just fall for her antics at home. She is quite the handful at home and she is good here. I will not be changing her schedule here. I will tell them I did, lol. I forgot to add that they put her to bed too early. So really all this is just their issue to figure out.
Let them know that it might be time to move her bedtime up an hour. Kids need to spend time with their parents and if they don’t get enough of that time they will wake up to get it. My 5 year old goes to bed at 7 because she refuses to nap during the day. If she napped it would be 8.
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Sunchimes 07:50 AM 02-04-2018
I had a parent make that request recently because he was staying up so late. I agreed, but I didn't mention that I agreed because it suited me better. He is a great napper. He would sleep all afternoon if I let him, and Mom said let him sleep. But, as the kids aged, the other 2 were only sleeping 1-1/2 to 2 hours. Then we had to entertain ourselves outside of the playroom until he woke up. It was throwing off snack and was a pain, but if you wake him up, he has a full on, snot-slinging, screaming tantrum. Long ones!! Last month, he started staying up late, and she asked me to shorten his nap. So, since it was to my benefit, I agreed. After a couple of days of tantrums, I had the brilliant idea to remind him before he went to sleep that his momma said to wake up happy. I told him it wasn't my idea, but we had to listen to mom. It works as long as I remember to tell him. I wouldn't do it otherwise. PS. He is still staying up until 11:00.
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Jdy2222 08:19 PM 02-04-2018
I have a little one like this, younger though. He sleeps a lot here, but not at home. Most mornings he comes in ready for a nap and it's a fight to keep him up until naptime. Never, ever does he cry at naptime or wake and need attention and he'll sleep up to 3 hours in the morning and 2 in the afternoon if I let him. But at home ... parents sleep in the same room as him and wake at his every request, so he's up a lot at night (sometimes hourly) and not getting a good nights sleep.

I have suggested that he is old enough to sleep through the night (he's 10 months) and suggested that he doesn't need them to replace his pacifier throughout the night but they are opting to do it their way, which means tired baby.

I am concerned that he sleeps so much here, I'm sure it's not helping his night sleep, but if they'd train themselves and him to get him to sleep at night he'd not be sleeping so much with me. So ... I care, but I know he needs the sleep and he's super grumpy without it so I don't encourage him to sleep and we aren't quiet to accommodate but I don't deliberately wake him either.
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TooManyKitties 11:53 PM 02-04-2018
Ugh, that’s rough. It’s so hard when parents won’t do what’s best for their kids.
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BrynleeJean 11:28 AM 02-05-2018
I've sort of asked. I've had a parent or two that would say things to me like "so and so just hasn't been sleeping well at home how have they been sleeping here" and ill say "just fine they slept from blah to blah" usually like 12:30-2:30 or 3:00 depending on how tired but all my kids slept awesome expect the new little babies. those same parents would ask that same question like every day or 3-5 days a week and be like "hmm" after each time like maybe they wanted to say something but never did lucky me. id just smile and say THEY SLEPT GREAT! NAPS FROM 12:30-2:30 OR 3:00 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT!! HAHA

but my state requires me to lay them down for the first hour, and if they wake up after that or didnt nap that hour (even if during my nap time) i have to give them an "alternate activity" to do while the others sleep. not convenient but was luckily never really an issue.
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nannyde 05:26 PM 02-05-2018
I don't discuss naps with parents other than giving the times. If they ask for a shortened nap I refer to my policy of "I don't provide service to children who don't need a FULL afternoon nap."

That way it's not personal. It's about what the child NEEDS. I don't have to discuss the parents keeping their kids up later, actually spending TIME with them at night, and having a solid bedtime routine.

They can do as they wish at home and I just provide service if the child NEEDS a nap from 12:15 to 2:45 pm
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Unregistered 10:56 AM 02-13-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have "those" parents, the ones that don't like to hear their princess cry. Princess, 2 years fights bedtime and they comply with her and fight with her, run to her and so on. Obviously she is getting what she wants so why not. So, because she fights them they blame the nap here 1-3. I mean it can't be at all their parenting or lack of. They want me to get her up after one hour because they think she is fighting them because she is not tired at bedtime. She fights them because they play into it her game. Have you guys ever been asked to shorten nap time? I am not planning on listening to their request anyways. But just wanted to see how you would handle this. Thanks
No way would I shorten nap time. That is your break time. Do they shorten their break times at work?! Heck no. I would say, “Sorry our nap time is from __ to ___ daily and everyone naps at this time.”
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Blackcat31 11:34 AM 02-13-2018
I don't know who these providers are that get a break during rest time. I do paperwork, clean up from the morning, prep for the afternoon and do anything else that requires doing.

I'm lucky if I am able to eat a couple bites of lunch myself during this so called "break".

I am still responsible for and supervising the children whether they are sleeping or awake so again...not really understanding how some providers are getting a break during this part of the day.

A break to me, means NOT working (having to be responsible for or supervising) for those 15 or 30 minutes allotted for break or lunch in normal 9-5 type jobs.
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LostMyMarbles 01:04 PM 02-13-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
In the past, I've let parents know that I'd make an attempt to shorten nap time. Then I do nothing. And the parents report the placebo effect. :P
Ditto. It is a placebo effect. I have one who "rested today" when mom asks if he slept. She never asked what rested ment. Amazing how he sleeps much better now that he is resting instead if napping lol.
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Unregistered 03:48 PM 02-13-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't know who these providers are that get a break during rest time. I do paperwork, clean up from the morning, prep for the afternoon and do anything else that requires doing.

I'm lucky if I am able to eat a couple bites of lunch myself during this so called "break".

I am still responsible for and supervising the children whether they are sleeping or awake so again...not really understanding how some providers are getting a break during this part of the day.

A break to me, means NOT working (having to be responsible for or supervising) for those 15 or 30 minutes allotted for break or lunch in normal 9-5 type jobs.
I am with you on the not getting a break. There is always something to do. If I am taking a break, something is not getting cleaned up, ect. Plus I have an infant that takes a very short nap at naptime.
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Ms. Alison 08:23 PM 02-13-2018
I have had a parent ask that of me. It was very frustrating because their daughter knew they made the request and so if I asked her to lay down during nap, she would sob so loud she would keep the other children up. So my only option was to give her a quiet task to do during nap time. She was older though, so she was able to do quiet activities on her own.

But... to help with your situation, I was told that by law I am not allowed to physically wake a child (unless it's due to an emergency, of course). I tell parents this. I am legally obligated to allow them time to nap when they are tired and if they are still sleeping when the other children are awake, I cannot physically wake them up. We allow the other children to play and we turn on the lights and open the blinds, but they have to wake on their own. You could always just use the law as an excuse as to why you can't wake her early. That might work. Good luck!
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Unregistered 06:06 AM 02-17-2018
I would just respond according to your states requirements. Some places do allow quiet time during the nap period, that is if child is not disrupting the others. Nap time is required by law for specific ages
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Unregistered 08:08 AM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have "those" parents, the ones that don't like to hear their princess cry. Princess, 2 years fights bedtime and they comply with her and fight with her, run to her and so on. Obviously she is getting what she wants so why not. So, because she fights them they blame the nap here 1-3. I mean it can't be at all their parenting or lack of. They want me to get her up after one hour because they think she is fighting them because she is not tired at bedtime. She fights them because they play into it her game. Have you guys ever been asked to shorten nap time? I am not planning on listening to their request anyways. But just wanted to see how you would handle this. Thanks
Wow- as a parent of a 3 year old researching online whether or not I should request that our daycare shorten a nap, this is an extremely discouraging and judgmental post to come across from a daycare employee. Your assumptions about their parenting and the child's behavior at home seem unfounded. Do you live at home with them? I would agree that 2 years old is perhaps a little young to start shortening naps- but there is plenty of evidence out there that 3-4 year olds begin cutting out naps- that should be done gradually. The daycare my child goes to is willing to work with us, as they should. We pay them a lot of money. I understand it probably makes more work for the employees and shortens their downtime. Maybe you should consider a job that is less stressful?
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Cat Herder 08:26 AM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow- as a parent of a 3 year old researching online whether or not I should request that our daycare shorten a nap, this is an extremely discouraging and judgmental post to come across from a daycare employee. Your assumptions about their parenting and the child's behavior at home seem unfounded. Do you live at home with them? I would agree that 2 years old is perhaps a little young to start shortening naps- but there is plenty of evidence out there that 3-4 year olds begin cutting out naps- that should be done gradually. The daycare my child goes to is willing to work with us, as they should. We pay them a lot of money. I understand it probably makes more work for the employees and shortens their downtime. Maybe you should consider a job that is less stressful?
Nobody can make a child sleep. It isn't possible without medical intervention. If they are still asleep, they will be allowed to finish out naptime. I would be wary of any program that woke sleeping children as that does not meet their basic needs. Naptimes are based on actual science for the majority of children with the amount of physical activity during our daily schedule. Since we work in group care, this is how we meet all the children's needs. If a child wakes on their own they are allowed to read and play quietly until the other children finish their naps.

If preschoolers are fighting an early bedtime at home (as most do, it is age-appropriate behavior), parents should consider adding more exercise after dinner to burn energy from calories consumed or pushing bedtime back to 8 pm as those things are also proven and won't disturb other children's health and growth.

Also, OP was venting to her co-workers. This is our water cooler.
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LostMyMarbles 08:40 AM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow- as a parent of a 3 year old researching online whether or not I should request that our daycare shorten a nap, this is an extremely discouraging and judgmental post to come across from a daycare employee. Your assumptions about their parenting and the child's behavior at home seem unfounded. Do you live at home with them? I would agree that 2 years old is perhaps a little young to start shortening naps- but there is plenty of evidence out there that 3-4 year olds begin cutting out naps- that should be done gradually. The daycare my child goes to is willing to work with us, as they should. We pay them a lot of money. I understand it probably makes more work for the employees and shortens their downtime. Maybe you should consider a job that is less stressful?
You are free to ask your provider anything, you provider is free to accept or deny your request. If you are denied a request you feel strongly about, you should seek other care. If your provider feels strongly about denying your request, she is free to terminate care.

We, as providers, set our own rule in our facilities. For those of us who give out a hand book and have a contract, some have a specific nap time rule. Some have a nap or get out rule. Some are ok with non nappers at 2, 3, or 4 years old.

We own the joint and get to say yes or no to a request based on the program we choose to run. We choose this career, we choose to be the boss, we choose the rules.
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Ariana 08:52 AM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow- as a parent of a 3 year old researching online whether or not I should request that our daycare shorten a nap, this is an extremely discouraging and judgmental post to come across from a daycare employee. Your assumptions about their parenting and the child's behavior at home seem unfounded. Do you live at home with them? I would agree that 2 years old is perhaps a little young to start shortening naps- but there is plenty of evidence out there that 3-4 year olds begin cutting out naps- that should be done gradually. The daycare my child goes to is willing to work with us, as they should. We pay them a lot of money. I understand it probably makes more work for the employees and shortens their downtime. Maybe you should consider a job that is less stressful?
Kids get an hour rest time. It is mandated here until 6 years old. If a child falls asleep I do not wake them. If a child does not fall asleep they are able to do quiet activities on their bed.

Doesn’t sound stressful to me. What causes the issue is when parents want me to keep their kids awake. I cannot and am unwilling to go against what is in the best interest of the child for the sake of making life easier for the parents.
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Snowmom 09:43 AM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow- as a parent of a 3 year old researching online whether or not I should request that our daycare shorten a nap, this is an extremely discouraging and judgmental post to come across from a daycare employee. Your assumptions about their parenting and the child's behavior at home seem unfounded. Do you live at home with them? I would agree that 2 years old is perhaps a little young to start shortening naps- but there is plenty of evidence out there that 3-4 year olds begin cutting out naps- that should be done gradually. The daycare my child goes to is willing to work with us, as they should. We pay them a lot of money. I understand it probably makes more work for the employees and shortens their downtime. Maybe you should consider a job that is less stressful?
I find your post extremely discouraging and judgmental as well.

To also point out:
1. We are NOT employees. We are business owners.
2. You have no basis to say the OP's observations are unfounded. You do not live or work with them either.
3. Paying a provider money does not equate to you making the rules in GROUP care. Your wishes do not trump the needs of all the children in their care OR the providers.
4. YOU are passing judgement suggesting these people who disagree with you should "find a job less stressful".
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Ms.Kay 09:52 AM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by snowmom:
i find your post extremely discouraging and judgmental as well.

To also point out:
1. We are not employees. We are business owners.
2. You have no basis to say the op's observations are unfounded. You do not live or work with them either.
3. Paying a provider money does not equate to you making the rules in group care. Your wishes do not trump the needs of all the children in their care or the providers.
4. you are passing judgement suggesting these people who disagree with you should "find a job less stressful".
rock that!!!!!
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AmyKidsCo 12:04 PM 09-17-2019
I have been asked to but don't. If a child is sleeping that much they need that sleep.

BlackCat - I consider nap time a "break" because I can relax a bit and don't have to be "on alert." Aside from my current nap-disrupting child, even when kiddos don't sleep I get some "down-time" because I know they'll stay on their cots and read or play quietly. It's not the same as being off, but it's a break from the rest of the day.
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daycarediva 04:13 PM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Wow- as a parent of a 3 year old researching online whether or not I should request that our daycare shorten a nap, this is an extremely discouraging and judgmental post to come across from a daycare employee. Your assumptions about their parenting and the child's behavior at home seem unfounded. Do you live at home with them? I would agree that 2 years old is perhaps a little young to start shortening naps- but there is plenty of evidence out there that 3-4 year olds begin cutting out naps- that should be done gradually. The daycare my child goes to is willing to work with us, as they should. We pay them a lot of money. I understand it probably makes more work for the employees and shortens their downtime. Maybe you should consider a job that is less stressful?

I am willing to work with parents in my program as well. WITH that said, if their child is one of the 1. youngest in my program and 2. naps long and hard, we know she needs it. We spend a great deal of time with your children and know what's best for them while in our program. Parents also share a great deal of what happens at home with us, too.

A 2 year old without rest that needs it is notoriously unregulated. That makes a very long day, sometimes 12+ hours for a TINY person, VERY hard for them and everyone else.

When my son was in daycare no matter how tired I was I took him home and ran him. We played outside, or lots of indoor gross motor. NO tv. No running around in the car (sedentary). I essentially mimicked what daycare did to tire him out. Then I followed daycare's lead and had a SET bedtime and a SET routine. He was always out like a light. Repeated with my next kids.

I enjoyed our "late" (for a toddler) nights at 9-9:30 because I was able to get more face time with him instead of 5:30-7:30 including dinner, bath and bed!
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springv 04:35 PM 09-17-2019
We have all the children lie down regardless of whether they rest or not as mandated by the minimum standards that are written by the department of human resources childcare division. If they sleep that's great, if they don't, we give them a quiet activity
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Blackcat31 06:12 PM 09-17-2019
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I have been asked to but don't. If a child is sleeping that much they need that sleep.

BlackCat - I consider nap time a "break" because I can relax a bit and don't have to be "on alert." Aside from my current nap-disrupting child, even when kiddos don't sleep I get some "down-time" because I know they'll stay on their cots and read or play quietly. It's not the same as being off, but it's a break from the rest of the day.
��������Nice that you’re able to relax during rest time

My stress level gets turned to MAX.
When the kids are awake, playing and interacting I know exactly what every one is doing.
Who's fighting (and with who) who is whining and what each of them are doing.

When they’re asleep the silence is oddly uncomfortable
I am constantly and closely checking on every kid during rest time. Physically checking. I know I’ve started many instantly awake when I put my hand on their backs.
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Ms.Kay 06:11 AM 09-18-2019
I hate when parents ask for shorten naps...we are very active here....when it's time for a nap ...my kids are ready and fall asleep fast. Waking them early does not mean they will fall asleep earlier...sleep begets sleep. If I were to wake them earlier....they would get a second wind right before bed at home....and still not fall asleep. It is the parents job to wear them out after they are picked up....if parents only understood that is part of parenting......vent over.
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littlefriends 04:20 AM 09-19-2019
I’ve been asked. I just explain that nothing in my handbook is negotiable and that everyone gets rest time. I’m like Blackcat-if my policies don’t work for you then my daycare won’t be a good fit.
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CeriBear 06:24 AM 09-19-2019
I’ve never had someone ask me to shorten naptime. I have had a parent ask me how long naptime is and what we do for a child who doesn’t nap. I tell them that all children must lie down on a cot during this time but if they don’t fall asleep or wake up early they can look at a book or play quietly with a doll or stuffed animal. The only time I will wake up a child early is if a parent is going to pick up early. If a child sleeps during naptime it’s because he still needs a nap. I also don’t fight with a child who doesn’t sleep as long as he is quiet and doesn’t disturb the other children who need a nap.
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Tags:2018, nap - early wake up, naptime issues, parent - its a verb
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