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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Weird Guy Came To My House (And I Don't Like How I Handled It!)
crazydaycarelady 08:21 AM 10-01-2012
We have a resource and referral office here and it's lists all of the daycares but only gives the street they are on, not the exact address.
I have to say I will NEVER do this again but I just am not a person who is quick on my feet when I get put on the spot! I wish I was.
So this guy pulls into my driveway and comes to the door, unannounced. He says he was able to determine which house on my street had the dc by looking for lots of toys (stalking?) He does not have a kid with him although he says his child is asleep in the car.
I let him in and showed him the dc room (no kids were in the dc room since it was naptime and my hubby was home.) We talked briefly and he said he needed to talk to his wife but wanted to start care here. Of course I never heard from him again. I wonder now if he was even looking for daycare!
I don't even have any openings! Why did I let this guy in? I need to get over my people pleasing nature but this weirdo taught me a lesson and I will never "interview" without an appointment again.
Freaking nutjobs!
I have to say I will NEVER do this again but I just am not a person who is quick on my feet when I get put on the spot! I wish I was.
So this guy pulls into my driveway and comes to the door, unannounced. He says he was able to determine which house on my street had the dc by looking for lots of toys (stalking?) He does not have a kid with him although he says his child is asleep in the car.
I let him in and showed him the dc room (no kids were in the dc room since it was naptime and my hubby was home.) We talked briefly and he said he needed to talk to his wife but wanted to start care here. Of course I never heard from him again. I wonder now if he was even looking for daycare!
I don't even have any openings! Why did I let this guy in? I need to get over my people pleasing nature but this weirdo taught me a lesson and I will never "interview" without an appointment again.
Freaking nutjobs!
crazydaycarelady 08:23 AM 10-01-2012
Oh, I also told resource and referral to take my name off their list.
rhymia1 08:34 AM 10-01-2012
YIKES!!! The next time I would not let them in but maybe tell them to call you (the agency lists your number, I assume?) and you can set up an appointment.
I know another provider who had a guy show up for an on the spot interview. He claimed his grandson was coming to live with him and he needed dc for him. Never did produce the grandson but was very interested in diapering procedure
I know another provider who had a guy show up for an on the spot interview. He claimed his grandson was coming to live with him and he needed dc for him. Never did produce the grandson but was very interested in diapering procedure
Blackcat31 08:51 AM 10-01-2012
I had a guy show up one day last Spring. He asked if I was a daycare as he thought I was since he had seen the DCK's outside and all the toys in the yard but wasn't positive.
Of course, I am thinking a million things are odd about this whole thing, I mean who drives around stops at daycares or acts like they are stalking one?? Plus being male, I had a hundred stereotypical thoughts about there not being an actual child etc etc...
Anyways, we were outside when he stopped so I didn't let him in the house but I did stand in the yard and speak with him for a while. (I also saw no child although his was also sleeping in the car.) He also told me he would talk to his wife and get back to me.
In my case, the dad turned out to be legit and he did have both a child and a wife 
. He lived a few blocks over, was new in town and did drive by every day on his way home and did see us playing outside and my yard full of toys so his guess that I was a daycare was correct although his search methods were a bit unorthodox. 
He and his wife stopped over the next day. Signed up their child and started a few days later. They shared and juggled child care duties but their schedules were starting to collide so they needed FT daycare.
I have had the child in care now for a about a year and have to say they are by far one of the strangest "interviews" I have encountered but one of the nicest families I have had too so luckily for me it was a win-win situation.
I think that things could go both ways but I also think there are a million contributing factors in each persons situation that define if it is a time to be concerned or a just a wayward first time parent doing the child care search with no real idea on how to properly do it. Plus with so many dads now being sahd's and/or primary caregivers, we can certainly expect them to search differently than moms would....kwim?
Other factors for me are that I live in a small town (which I grew up in), I know most my neighbors and feel comfortable enough with my own instincts and gut reactions to lead me in the right direction too but I don't think I would ever just let someone (a stranger) in my daycare without knowing for sure.
Of course, I am thinking a million things are odd about this whole thing, I mean who drives around stops at daycares or acts like they are stalking one?? Plus being male, I had a hundred stereotypical thoughts about there not being an actual child etc etc...
Anyways, we were outside when he stopped so I didn't let him in the house but I did stand in the yard and speak with him for a while. (I also saw no child although his was also sleeping in the car.) He also told me he would talk to his wife and get back to me.
In my case, the dad turned out to be legit and he did have both a child and a wife
. He lived a few blocks over, was new in town and did drive by every day on his way home and did see us playing outside and my yard full of toys so his guess that I was a daycare was correct although his search methods were a bit unorthodox. He and his wife stopped over the next day. Signed up their child and started a few days later. They shared and juggled child care duties but their schedules were starting to collide so they needed FT daycare.
I have had the child in care now for a about a year and have to say they are by far one of the strangest "interviews" I have encountered but one of the nicest families I have had too so luckily for me it was a win-win situation.
I think that things could go both ways but I also think there are a million contributing factors in each persons situation that define if it is a time to be concerned or a just a wayward first time parent doing the child care search with no real idea on how to properly do it. Plus with so many dads now being sahd's and/or primary caregivers, we can certainly expect them to search differently than moms would....kwim?
Other factors for me are that I live in a small town (which I grew up in), I know most my neighbors and feel comfortable enough with my own instincts and gut reactions to lead me in the right direction too but I don't think I would ever just let someone (a stranger) in my daycare without knowing for sure.
cheerfuldom 08:54 AM 10-01-2012
omg....I cant believe you even let him in when you dont even have openings! girl, you need to work on your backbone! I never ever do on the spot interviews. I would also never let a parent in the house and their child left in the car alone....thats dangerous for the child and I cant imagine that you wouldnt be possibly liable if something was to happen with that kid out in the car alone.....if there even was a kid out there.
daycare 08:56 AM 10-01-2012
I have only had one unannounced interview, that was a referral. However, any time anyone comes into my house I get their information, including DL information.
After hearing about that daycare that was robbed with a house full of kids, I tend to be a little over the top. I know that my methods don't really prevent it 100%, but I am trying.
How scary for you...hope that it was just a curious parent.....
After hearing about that daycare that was robbed with a house full of kids, I tend to be a little over the top. I know that my methods don't really prevent it 100%, but I am trying.
How scary for you...hope that it was just a curious parent.....
Crazy8 09:12 AM 10-01-2012
Yikes!!! I am not a good on the spot thinker either - I always regret saying/not saying something later but I hope I don't ever think to let someone in the house like that.
Thank goodness nothing worse happened but I know you will feel better if like blackcat's situation you actually hear from him and the mom again so you can put your mind at rest!!
Thank goodness nothing worse happened but I know you will feel better if like blackcat's situation you actually hear from him and the mom again so you can put your mind at rest!!
itlw8 10:18 AM 10-01-2012
I ONLY do interviews after hours so that makes it easier to think on my feet
I am with the children right now but I would be glad to talk with you after 5:30
Our Lab is very friendly but if the kids are outside and a stranger comes to the gate sh runs barking.
I talk to them at the gate and they can call if interested. got to say they usually don't call as the dog scared the off. If they would have come through the door she would have ignored them.
I am with the children right now but I would be glad to talk with you after 5:30
Our Lab is very friendly but if the kids are outside and a stranger comes to the gate sh runs barking.
I talk to them at the gate and they can call if interested. got to say they usually don't call as the dog scared the off. If they would have come through the door she would have ignored them.
Crystal 10:24 AM 10-01-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
omg....I cant believe you even let him in when you dont even have openings! girl, you need to work on your backbone! I never ever do on the spot interviews. I would also never let a parent in the house and their child left in the car alone....thats dangerous for the child and I cant imagine that you wouldnt be possibly liable if something was to happen with that kid out in the car alone.....if there even was a kid out there.
ITA! No WAY IN He L L I would have let him in. This isn't about being a "people pleaser" it is about ensuring the safety of children in care. You are fortunate your husband was home....who knows what he may have done if he wasn't....and I am sure the guy wasn't expecting to see your husband there or he wouldn't have stopped by in the first place.omg....I cant believe you even let him in when you dont even have openings! girl, you need to work on your backbone! I never ever do on the spot interviews. I would also never let a parent in the house and their child left in the car alone....thats dangerous for the child and I cant imagine that you wouldnt be possibly liable if something was to happen with that kid out in the car alone.....if there even was a kid out there.
PLEASE do not ever do it again.....your post really scares me.....you cannot simply trust people because they say they have a kid.
crazydaycarelady 10:30 AM 10-01-2012
I never would have let him if my hubby hadn't been here. I wished I hadn't let him in even though hubby was here!
If he does call me back, which I highly doubt since I don't think he was looking for care, I will not watch for them anyway. Anyone who does not have enough common sense to call first is not someone I want to watch for.
If he does call me back, which I highly doubt since I don't think he was looking for care, I will not watch for them anyway. Anyone who does not have enough common sense to call first is not someone I want to watch for.
DaycareMomma 10:31 AM 10-01-2012
I've never had that happen but I'd be reluctant to let them in my house on the spot. They'd need to set up an interview after hours and if I didn't have a spot, well they'd get told that and no interview would happen.
Make sure to lock your doors and keep a watchful eye out, this guy now knows how your house is set up and that you are often at home all day with kids.
Make sure to lock your doors and keep a watchful eye out, this guy now knows how your house is set up and that you are often at home all day with kids.
lovemykidstoo 10:40 AM 10-01-2012
I'm so thankful that you are okay and he didn't try anything. He could have been legit, but could have been many other things. Could have been a guy casing out your house to see what good things you have to steal.
I have had about 4 people come up to me either in the yard or 1 actually came to the door that saw that I had a daycare. It's pretty obvious with that many kids running around that I have a daycare. One of those, now that I think about it put a note in my mailbox to call her. I did and I watched her daughter for a couple of years. Out of the 4, I took 3 of them. We live in a mid size subdivision, so it's not hard to see if the people really live here or are stalkers.
Be careful woman!!
I have had about 4 people come up to me either in the yard or 1 actually came to the door that saw that I had a daycare. It's pretty obvious with that many kids running around that I have a daycare. One of those, now that I think about it put a note in my mailbox to call her. I did and I watched her daughter for a couple of years. Out of the 4, I took 3 of them. We live in a mid size subdivision, so it's not hard to see if the people really live here or are stalkers.
Be careful woman!!
harperluu 11:14 AM 10-01-2012
Call the police immediately, and report this man. Trust your gut instincts on this. The police can patrol the area for the vehicle description over the next few days/weeks to see if he is casing houses or if he fits the description of a pedophile.
My husband is a police officer and he said to call immediately.
My husband is a police officer and he said to call immediately.
MyAngels 11:57 AM 10-01-2012
Originally Posted by harperluu:
Call the police immediately, and report this man. Trust your gut instincts on this. The police can patrol the area for the vehicle description over the next few days/weeks to see if he is casing houses or if he fits the description of a pedophile.
My husband is a police officer and he said to call immediately.
Definitely thisCall the police immediately, and report this man. Trust your gut instincts on this. The police can patrol the area for the vehicle description over the next few days/weeks to see if he is casing houses or if he fits the description of a pedophile.
My husband is a police officer and he said to call immediately.
.The only time I had someone show up unannounced I told them I would need to take their driver's license while they waited outside so that I could call the police to check them out (this was before the sex offender registry). They hemmed and hawed around and left rather quickly, so I'm sure I dodged a bullet that day.
Crystal 12:09 PM 10-01-2012
After thinking about this a little more, I agree about calling the police AND I would call licensing and report it. They need to let all providers in the area know to be on the lookout for this guy and to NOT let him in if he comes to their door.
Texasjeepgirl 12:20 PM 10-01-2012
I have total strangers stop by UNNANNOUNCED all the time!!!
Why? Well.. if you've been to my website.. ..or read posts from me describing my daycare set up..
We live inside our retail furniture store... on a main highway...
We have an apartment.. in the back corner inside our building..we've lived here almost 9 years... but.. my daycare has only been here a little over 5 years..
Behind our building is an apartment complex..
So.. I've had people show up at my door who live at the apartment complex..
I've had people find my address on the child care licensing website and show up out in the furniture store..
My mother-in-law owns and runs the store... (she is 87... went to work for the original founder of this store when she was 24 years old...and later bought it from him when she was in her early 50's..)...
She will bring total strangers to the inside entrance.. knock on the door.. and say.. they were looking for the daycare..
OR.. I'll have people knock on outside entrance... same thing..
IS THIS A DAYCARE?
SOLUTION?
A box of business cards sitting next to the sign in log .. just inside my entry door... and .. a website..
I NEVER EVER EVER let total strangers in here...
If they knock on the door... I open it.. after they ask if it is a daycare..
I say.. excuse me a moment..
I close the door..
I step over and get a business card.. I open the door.. hand the card to them..
and say.. you can go to my website..
you can EMAIL me.. you can call me..
for more information.. and to set up a time to tour daycare...
Then I thank them.. tell them I can't answer further questions because I am busy.. and I shut the door.
www.tammyschildcare.com
www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com
Why? Well.. if you've been to my website.. ..or read posts from me describing my daycare set up..
We live inside our retail furniture store... on a main highway...
We have an apartment.. in the back corner inside our building..we've lived here almost 9 years... but.. my daycare has only been here a little over 5 years..
Behind our building is an apartment complex..
So.. I've had people show up at my door who live at the apartment complex..
I've had people find my address on the child care licensing website and show up out in the furniture store..
My mother-in-law owns and runs the store... (she is 87... went to work for the original founder of this store when she was 24 years old...and later bought it from him when she was in her early 50's..)...
She will bring total strangers to the inside entrance.. knock on the door.. and say.. they were looking for the daycare..
OR.. I'll have people knock on outside entrance... same thing..
IS THIS A DAYCARE?
SOLUTION?
A box of business cards sitting next to the sign in log .. just inside my entry door... and .. a website..
I NEVER EVER EVER let total strangers in here...
If they knock on the door... I open it.. after they ask if it is a daycare..
I say.. excuse me a moment..
I close the door..
I step over and get a business card.. I open the door.. hand the card to them..
and say.. you can go to my website..
you can EMAIL me.. you can call me..
for more information.. and to set up a time to tour daycare...
Then I thank them.. tell them I can't answer further questions because I am busy.. and I shut the door.
www.tammyschildcare.com
www.texasjeepgirl.shutterfly.com
crazydaycarelady 12:50 PM 10-01-2012
The thing that is really wierd is this guy is pretty well known around town. His family owns a car lot and he is in a lot of the commercials. Isn't that weird?
My dh is also a PO so I think I am safe in that regards. I might see if the r&r will send out an email though. I just can't help but think if he wasn't really looking for care than what was he looking for?
My dh is also a PO so I think I am safe in that regards. I might see if the r&r will send out an email though. I just can't help but think if he wasn't really looking for care than what was he looking for?
Blackcat31 01:00 PM 10-01-2012
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
The thing that is really wierd is this guy is pretty well known around town. His family owns a car lot and he is in a lot of the commercials. Isn't that weird?
My dh is also a PO so I think I am safe in that regards. I might see if the r&r will send out an email though. I just can't help but think if he wasn't really looking for care than what was he looking for?
Maybe he is casing the place for goodies to steal... The thing that is really wierd is this guy is pretty well known around town. His family owns a car lot and he is in a lot of the commercials. Isn't that weird?
My dh is also a PO so I think I am safe in that regards. I might see if the r&r will send out an email though. I just can't help but think if he wasn't really looking for care than what was he looking for?
I don't know, that is weird though that he is a business owner in town and acts so flighty like that.
As long as your DH is in law enforcement, I don't suppose it would be too weird for him to at least document and then if any thing weird happens to yo or your property you would have an idea of who has been around lately.
People are strange sometimes and I guess I wouldn't take the possibility of anything CAN happen too lightly.
Michael 02:44 PM 10-01-2012
I think you dodged a bullet on that one. I would keep some bear pepper spray in the house and stay extra aware of your surroundings. Write down as much as you can remember about thim and his car.
wahmof3 03:32 PM 10-01-2012
Searching this forum for daycare and it lists your entire address....
Search the internet and there are a lot of websites that list your entire address.
Recently we found one that had our SSN listed as well
Search the internet and there are a lot of websites that list your entire address.
Recently we found one that had our SSN listed as well
Sprouts 04:35 PM 10-01-2012
I had a couple show up one time and I did something similar except I checked their drivers license. Anyone who comes into my home I check their ID
LK5kids 05:13 PM 10-01-2012
Never let a stranger into your home with the children there. They could be anyone! I am opening a family child care in about a month after working as an early childhood specialist/parent educator for 14 years. I hadn't thought about people coming to my center that I don't know, even for interviews. I am buying a small home and this is not my main residence. It will be for child care only. My husband will not be there when I interview families. Hmmmmm....something to be aware of. Thanks!
daycaremom76 05:45 PM 10-01-2012
OMG you are nuts! I can totally see your point though cause normally I don't open the door for anyone no matter what! But once I was getting lunches together and one the kids were being picked up early so when the bell rang I didn't think twice to open the door and was completely shocked when a stranger was standing there. Now my kids are all little 2-3yrs so they all bee hive for the door thinking it's their parents. The man wanted to talk to me about care, I told him it was a bad time and he said he didn't mind waiting while I finished getting lunch together. I got chills and slipped him a card and told him to call me later which he never did. It totally freaked me out! Now we have a camera at our front door so I can see it w/o opening the door. I get new parents all the time that want to stop by during daycare hours and I explain that they are strangers and it's not going to happen. If they keep pushing the issue then I just tell them that if they can't respect my rules then they aren't a good fit for my daycare. The safety of myself and kids is far more important to me then picking up another kid! My interviews are done after 6pm when my husband is home and only then! I've still had some shady people over even after hours!
Unregistered 05:36 PM 10-02-2012
A few years ago, my sister-in-law's brother and his wife had a teenager looking after their kids while they worked (during the summer) ...a stranger stopped at the door and asked if he could use the phone...the girl let him in , thinking it would be alright. The kids were school age so were outside playing. The stranger said that there seemed to be something wrong with the phone downstairs and did they have one upstairs? She said they did so went up with him to show him where it was.
He raped her up there while the kids were outside playing...
When the story was published in the paper, another woman came forward and said he had stopped at her house to ask to use the phone but she was wary of him and didn't let him in. She said he gave her the creeps and she was getting nervous . Unfortunately the teenager was trying to be nice...it cost her SO much...her life would never be the same.
I'm always nervous of anyone stopping by whom I don't know and we've had a few but I haven't let them in...our dogs make such a fuss too that I'm sure not too many strangers would want to push their way in...
I'm glad that everything was ok but I'm with the others who recommend that you call the police...don't ever be afraid of thinking you are over-reacting ....it could save your life and I'm sure the cops don't mind making sure someone is safe...
He raped her up there while the kids were outside playing...
When the story was published in the paper, another woman came forward and said he had stopped at her house to ask to use the phone but she was wary of him and didn't let him in. She said he gave her the creeps and she was getting nervous . Unfortunately the teenager was trying to be nice...it cost her SO much...her life would never be the same.
I'm always nervous of anyone stopping by whom I don't know and we've had a few but I haven't let them in...our dogs make such a fuss too that I'm sure not too many strangers would want to push their way in...
I'm glad that everything was ok but I'm with the others who recommend that you call the police...don't ever be afraid of thinking you are over-reacting ....it could save your life and I'm sure the cops don't mind making sure someone is safe...
mysonsmom1 09:41 AM 10-04-2012
Yikes, this guy was wierd.. that is a big concern.. I tell my parents that the state of Texas does not allow anyone who is not qualified to be at the daycare during operating hours and schedule my interviews when I close or on the weekends. I keep my minimum standards handy just incase I need to show a parent so that they dont take my word for it. I had an angry husband come to my house during napping hours to argue with me because he didnt know his wife signed a contract and they had to pay for a week of care when their child didnt come because grandma had seperation issues. (NOT MY PROBLEM BUT I TOOK THE FALL). I said that to say that men can be somewhat demanding.. TOP PRIORITY IS SAFETY OF THE CHILDREN e IN CARE.. so keep your head up, take it as a lesson learned and you know how to handle it next time.. You already took precautions by ending the ref list. Stay Cool 
dave4him 12:17 PM 10-04-2012
Makes me so sad and mad at the same time. I hate leaving my girls alone when i have to go out. I worry