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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potential Client Wants to Visit for a Few Hours...
Oneluckymom 10:53 PM 09-12-2012
So I had a family come by about a couple weeks ago to check out my daycare and they seemed to like what they saw. Well I heard back from them today and mom wants to bring the boy next week to "see how well he fits in with my group" and said she wants to do a visit for a few hours

Has anyone done this before? How do I handle this with my group...any number of things could go on during that time.

I said yes because I really need the enrollment but must admit that I'm nervous about "being on stage". Any advice??
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thatdivalady 11:18 PM 09-12-2012
I'll be honest, I don't typically do visits. In my program that's what the two week trial period is for.
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nanglgrl 01:04 AM 09-13-2012
I just did my first and probably only visit before care where the parent was present. It only lasted an hour and wasn't horrible but it did feel awkward. Maybe I will do 1/2 hour instead next time. Everything went fine, the kids played, no one was crazy etc. but it was so weird for me to have another adult watching everything. This job is making me into a weirdo, I can't be around adults anymore without feeling like I'm from another planet.
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DaisyMamma 04:35 AM 09-13-2012
I did this the other day. I know the parent so it wasn't too bad havIng her there, however the kids were horrible the entIre tIme. Eventhough we know eachother I'm surprised she still enrolled it was that bad
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Sunchimes 04:52 AM 09-13-2012
I personally don't think I would do it because I wouldn't let a stranger around my kids for any length of time. Is there anything in regs about this? I'm legally unlicensed, so I don't know if there is or not. Without a background check or a blood tie, you don't come in my house.
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Blackcat31 06:18 AM 09-13-2012
Here are a couple threads related to parents observing:

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38525

The second one is a fantastic read and has some really great (and differing) viewpoints.
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crazydaycarelady 06:51 AM 09-13-2012
I've done this before. I hate every minute of it but really, how are you going to say no?
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cheerfuldom 06:54 AM 09-13-2012
I dont allow parents to hang out. Their child can come for a short play date or some partial days to transition to care but parents dont come with them.
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Heidi 07:15 AM 09-13-2012
Yes, I did this for my last new one, but only for one hour. I told the parent what time was best, and said something like "I'm sure you understand that my main focus has to be the children, and they do tend to act up a bit when strangers are here."

Because they were super nervous, I had them drop the child off for an hour (by himself) a 2nd day (didn't charge). That way, they felt like he was "easing" into it. That worked out just fine.
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littlemissmuffet 07:35 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I've done this before. I hate every minute of it but really, how are you going to say no?
Easy, I simply say "NO!"

I don't allow visits. I have never lost a potential family due to this rule. And even if I did, I wouldn't change it.
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Oneluckymom 08:05 AM 09-13-2012
She had not contacted me for over two weeks. So now I'm wondering if I was her last option. Or if she had observed other providers and didnt like what she saw.

We usually do our circle time in the morning when this mom wants to come. I am not excited about the whole observation thing at all.
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Oneluckymom 08:17 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Here are a couple threads related to parents observing:

https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38525

The second one is a fantastic read and has some really great (and differing) viewpoints.
Thanks Blackcat !!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 09:01 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Easy, I simply say "NO!"

I don't allow visits. I have never lost a potential family due to this rule. And even if I did, I wouldn't change it.
Me either.

I tell them that I am teaching and actively taking care of the children. The parents of my current children do not pay me to conduct interviews but I would be happy to show them around after hours. None have had an issue with it.
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Oneluckymom 09:30 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Me either.

I tell them that I am teaching and actively taking care of the children. The parents of my current children do not pay me to conduct interviews but I would be happy to show them around after hours. None have had an issue with it.
She has already interviewed but wants to come observe to see how her child interacts with my group.
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MaritimeMummy 09:36 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
I personally don't think I would do it ... Without a background check or a blood tie, you don't come in my house.
THIS EXACTLY!!
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littlemissmuffet 09:37 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
She has already interviewed but wants to come observe to see how her child interacts with my group.
The reality is, nobody is going to know how this kid interacts with any group until he's been in it for awhile. It takes most kids at least a few days (if not weeks) to adjust to a new environment, new friends, a new caregiver, new schedules, etc. The other children in your care also need to adjust to a having a new friend (nevermind the fact that most kids are generally wild and crazy when other adults are around). I would simply explain this to mom.
Then I would let her know that visits during daycare hours are too disruptive. You'd be happy to provide references and ensure her she's welcome to drop in unexpectedly should she feel the need (provided she fully understands that when she leaves, little Johnny is going with her).

You said you're uncomfortable with it. Don't do it.
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Willow 10:09 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
She has already interviewed but wants to come observe to see how her child interacts with my group.

What does she think she's going to see on the very first day over the course of just a couple of hours??

It can take weeks for a new child to settle in and warm up enough to play cohesively with the rest of an established group.


I'd tell her no.

"I'm sorry Jane, but I don't allow strangers in to hang out with the children of my enrolled families. Same would go if your son was enrolled here, I wouldn't allow other strangers to come in and be around him during the day. I have to consider my enrolled families feelings on this and they simply wouldn't be comfortable with it. As I'm sure you understand too it would be a major safety concern for a multitude of reasons. It's also not allowed per my licensing rules and regs (which is the truth where I'm at, no one can be on the premises save for parents of enrolled kids picking up and dropping off or those who have had a background check run through the county). Please let me know if you'd like to enroll by ____, I need to know one way or the other because I have other families wanting the spot. Children typically need a week or two to make the transition to a new daycare group, but I have no concerns Billy would fit in quite well here should you decide to enroll him. If you have any other questions please let me know!"
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My3cents 10:57 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
So I had a family come by about a couple weeks ago to check out my daycare and they seemed to like what they saw. Well I heard back from them today and mom wants to bring the boy next week to "see how well he fits in with my group" and said she wants to do a visit for a few hours

Has anyone done this before? How do I handle this with my group...any number of things could go on during that time.

I said yes because I really need the enrollment but must admit that I'm nervous about "being on stage". Any advice??
I would have said no. I don't do play dates. I am busy enough.

I would feel on stage, being watched and almost like I had to entertain both the parents and the new child. I am working. This would be like a job shadow for me and I am not trying to learn how to do my job while I am working. I do my training after hours. So many things could go wrong. I give three references, and explain myself well at the interview so it is not needed. I am not going to have a helicopter mom hanging out. Not right for my kids, bringing in some stranger who we don't know. I assure the parents that if it is not a right fit I am not going to keep the child. A two week trial for both of us. Very disruptive. I am being paid to take care of the children in my care, and not be side tracked. I also don't feel it gives you a true idea of how everyone is. Both parties are nervous, feel like they are on exhibit, all the kids like to act up when someone comes in- just natural way for them to cope with their anxieties. The visiting child usually goes nuts pulling everything out and doing things that they just don't know what our routine is here. I prefer to do stuff like that after hours then I can give my full attention and avoid any possibilities of losing a potential client. If it is up your alley and works great for you terrific. For me no. I try to avoid this. Two hours--- no way. That is a play date and I don't do play dates. I am working.

Call her back and explain that you don't do that during daycare hours. Anyone that is in the daycare has to be approved by my licensing so you could also use that info to your advantage. Explain to her that you would be willing to meet after hours for no more then 20 minutes to 1/2 hour. I made the mistake of letting one women show up late, and then stay for an hour and a half and turn out to be a flake and never call back, sorry but this women was loose in the head. She came with her worker and it was just ridiculous, and I was not experienced enough to know better- Red flags were beaming all around me and I just wanted to get a client in. Not worth my time and efforts to play games. I learned early on that I want families that care, and respect me and that I can't fix the world. I still like to try
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My3cents 11:03 AM 09-13-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
What does she think she's going to see on the very first day over the course of just a couple of hours??

It can take weeks for a new child to settle in and warm up enough to play cohesively with the rest of an established group.


I'd tell her no.

"I'm sorry Jane, but I don't allow strangers in to hang out with the children of my enrolled families. Same would go if your son was enrolled here, I wouldn't allow other strangers to come in and be around him during the day. I have to consider my enrolled families feelings on this and they simply wouldn't be comfortable with it. As I'm sure you understand too it would be a major safety concern for a multitude of reasons. It's also not allowed per my licensing rules and regs (which is the truth where I'm at, no one can be on the premises save for parents of enrolled kids picking up and dropping off or those who have had a background check run through the county). Please let me know if you'd like to enroll by ____, I need to know one way or the other because I have other families wanting the spot. Children typically need a week or two to make the transition to a new daycare group, but I have no concerns Billy would fit in quite well here should you decide to enroll him. If you have any other questions please let me know!"
bingo, I need to learn to read the responses before I respond......I basically said the same thing or feel the same way-
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SunshineMama 11:48 AM 09-13-2012
If a parent asks to bring their child after they have already committed to coming, to help them get used to the daycare, I will allow a 1 hour visit in the morning, after everyone is here and before lunchtime. I would not allow someone to come over to "see" if their child might be a fit before a commitment. I always have a deposit secured first before allowing anyone to come over with their children, and I only do it so the children can adjust.

It is weird, though. The kids always act differently around their parents and other adults, then as a provider you feel "on stage," and you feel obligated to also entertain the parent as well as all of the children, because having some random person in your home just watching quietly is weird. But when you are short on clients and the perfect client and goes come along, sometimes you have to put up with a little crap to get the bills paid.
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Blackcat31 11:51 AM 09-13-2012
I conduct my interviews during child care hours so that is the only chance a parent has to see me interact with other children and parents.

If they want to stay and "play" while their child adjusts I would say no. No one's children act the same while their parent(s) are present so it would be pointless.

I also let parents know that if their child doesn't adjust well, I will call them immediately as I don't much want a scared screaming child here anymore than they want to be here.
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tenderhearts 12:21 PM 09-13-2012
A few hours? I wouldn't do it. I would allow them to come for maybe 45min - an hour but I would explain that it's hard to run the group, even if they are just observing, kids will act different ect.
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momofthree211614 07:05 AM 09-14-2012
I had that happen once, but it didn't start out that way. A mom called looking for day care for her daughter. I said sure, she asked to see the program, I said sure feel free to drop in between 9 am and 11 am. I do not do visit between 11 and 3 because of nap and lunch and tell parents that's why. So she said she be there around 9:30. She showed up at 9:15 and asked me a few questions while her 2.5 year old played with the kids. Then she just sat on my couch, quietly reading my contract, which she asked for. I assumed that meant she would be starting I try not to hand out my contract unless I am sure they want to start. I wasted so much paper at first doing that. Well at 11:30 I finally had to say we enjoyed your visit but it's after visiting hours and I have to have the kids clean for lunch. She then tells her kid to help clean. So I figure she's letting the kid get used to the schedule. Nope she then asked what was for lunch? I said I am sorry but I wasn't planning an extra for lunch and that visits are over.

She finally left after another 10 minutes. Took all my paperwork, never called back. I called once and left a message never got a call back. Found out she had hit several day cares saying she was looking for daycare, when in reality she was checking out the competition in town and collecting contracts to write her own.
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MarinaVanessa 07:51 AM 09-14-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I dont allow parents to hang out. Their child can come for a short play date or some partial days to transition to care but parents dont come with them.
I don't either ... it's one of my selling perks. I don't allow adult "strangers" around any of the other kids until I have a feel for them ... especially not for a couple of hours. I don't even allow my regular parents to stay for 10-15 minutes ... much less for someone that isn't a client yet. JMO

You already yes however so maybe you can put her to work while she's there
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daycare 08:20 AM 09-14-2012
sorry I did not see what state you are in. I am in CA

I do allow for parents to come in and observe, but only for about 30 min and only after they have attended my initial interview.

I tell them them this.

1. Consistency is key. YOu need to set your child up for success and by staying for an hour here or there will mislead them. Unless you plan to stay a few hours each day, (which then you need to get background, etc etc) then don't start something that is NOT going to continue.

2. I understand that you don't know me very well, would you like me to give you some phone numbers of past or current clients?

3.When others are around, the kids tend to go nuts and we would have a hard time moving on with our day.

4. My state does not allow for adults to be around the children for extended periods of time unless they have all paperwork
done.

5.YOur child is NOT going to fit in with the group on the first day, 2nd probably not even the third. this is why I do a two week paid trail.
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