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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>New BF Infant Doesn't Know How To Drink From Bottle?
Mom2Two 08:53 AM 09-19-2017
Have you ever had this happen?

My new little 10 week old guy got dropped off at 8am, had a nap, and now (9:45 ish) I'm trying to give him his ebm bottle. He should be hungry, right?

He's gulping tons of air on the bottle. Doesn't seem to be able to latch well. And of course he's crying. Except now that I'm holding him between two arm upright on my lap as I type on my desk, he's super warm and took a break from crying.

I figure that he can learn...but how often does this happen? He's my first bf/ebf infant I've had here. He's only had 10 ml in quite a few mins.
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amberrose3dg 09:36 AM 09-19-2017
I had that issue with an ebf baby that was almost 6 months old. She took like 2 weeks to fully adjust to a bottle. Thank God she drinks from it no problem now. It's an adjustment. I have no real advice as they eventually get it. If he is there every day he will adjust.
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Blackcat31 09:40 AM 09-19-2017
I will not accept an infant into care that isn't proficient with nipple use. Parents must demonstrate BEFORE dropping off the first time the baby's ability to eat from a bottle. I understand that mom's may not be able to nipple train their infant but dad, grandma, auntie or any other family member or friend can help out.

Once I know the child is proficient with bottle feeding they may attend care. ANY time during care the infant refuses the bottle and cries due to hunger I will call for pick up.

I will not keep a child that has not been properly prepared for care. NOT fair to the baby or the provider.

I will attempt to feed for 90 minutes. If I am unsuccessful parents get called.
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Mom2Two 09:49 AM 09-19-2017
I have not taken many infants in my five years in daycare, so I'm a novice at new baby screening. But I'll definitely add "prepared to bottle feed" to my infant policies!

I'll ask mom about it at pick up.

I did raise my infant rates before I took this little guy. One of the reasons I haven't taken many infants is that I want to feel like I can give the holding/baby wearing/individualized care etc that I feel comfortable with.

And he's only here 4.5 hours each day.
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Blackcat31 09:52 AM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
I have not taken many infants in my five years in daycare, so I'm a novice at new baby screening. But I'll definitely add "prepared to bottle feed" to my infant policies!

I'll ask mom about it at pick up.

I did raise my infant rates before I took this little guy. One of the reasons I haven't taken many infants is that I want to feel like I can give the holding/baby wearing/individualized care etc that I feel comfortable with.

And he's only here 4.5 hours each day.
I have a "How to prepare your infant for daycare" tip sheet I provide to parents so they know what I can and cannot do in licensed care.

I will PM it to you!
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Mom2Two 09:56 AM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have a "How to prepare your infant for daycare" tip sheet I provide to parents so they know what I can and cannot do in licensed care.

I will PM it to you!
Thank you!

I am realizing that I need to create a few more documents for my daycare. I want an interview form to cover certain questions and a pre-application for people who call and want to be on my wait list.

I tried sending an actual application for calls when I don't have space, but I realized that maybe people don't really want to fill out four pages of detailed, personal information to just be on a wait list. I wasn't getting much response!
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Blackcat31 10:08 AM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
Thank you!

I am realizing that I need to create a few more documents for my daycare. I want an interview form to cover certain questions and a pre-application for people who call and want to be on my wait list.

I tried sending an actual application for calls when I don't have space, but I realized that maybe people don't really want to fill out four pages of detailed, personal information to just be on a wait list. I wasn't getting much response!


I have one of those too if you'd like to see it.
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Mom2Two 10:31 AM 09-19-2017
I called mom to have her come over and show me his bottle feeding. She is working from home this first week to be available, and she's only a mile away and told me to call her if needed.
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LysesKids 10:38 AM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I will not accept an infant into care that isn't proficient with nipple use. Parents must demonstrate BEFORE dropping off the first time the baby's ability to eat from a bottle. I understand that mom's may not be able to nipple train their infant but dad, grandma, auntie or any other family member or friend can help out.

Once I know the child is proficient with bottle feeding they may attend care. ANY time during care the infant refuses the bottle and cries due to hunger I will call for pick up.

I will not keep a child that has not been properly prepared for care. NOT fair to the baby or the provider.

I will attempt to feed for 90 minutes. If I am unsuccessful parents get called.
THIS... as an infant only provider I require the parents prove a BF little can take a bottle before they start... I have no time to teach an infant, much less see them suffer because mom & dad were too lazy to teach the baby; the fact is they know a child has to use a bottle here, but expecting it to happen on the first try - NOPE and not on my watch
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Mom2Two 11:23 AM 09-19-2017
So mom came, and after the chit chat, I asked her to show me how he took his bottle. He didn't take it from her either.

I said that I had wondered if he had new bottles, and at first she said no but later she said they had bought new bottles but "really thought they had the same nipples." Then she said she "thought she had packed the old nipples."

I asked if dcb took a bottle at home and she said yes.

Oddly, though, dcb wouldn't even bf--mom tried after giving the bottle.

Then she changed his dipe and he still wouldn't take the bottle, but he did look happier.
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sahm1225 11:24 AM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


I have one of those too if you'd like to see it.
B.C., can you send those to me too please?
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Mom2Two 11:24 AM 09-19-2017
Okay, now mom just texted and said dcb took the bottle just fine at home from her. ??? She said that his experience today just wasn't normal.
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Mom2Two 11:49 AM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


I have one of those too if you'd like to see it.
Yes! All of the above!

And...I'm starting to wonder if I'm getting fed a line on the baby. Mom and dad also have said that he's a happy baby, but then gave me lots of advice about what to do when he fusses. idk
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nannyde 12:35 PM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
So mom came, and after the chit chat, I asked her to show me how he took his bottle. He didn't take it from her either.

I said that I had wondered if he had new bottles, and at first she said no but later she said they had bought new bottles but "really thought they had the same nipples." Then she said she "thought she had packed the old nipples."

I asked if dcb took a bottle at home and she said yes.

Oddly, though, dcb wouldn't even bf--mom tried after giving the bottle.

Then she changed his dipe and he still wouldn't take the bottle, but he did look happier.
Ask her to video tape him taking a bottle and send it to you. That way you can see his grasp of the nipple. Tell her you need to see a full feed in person too.
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NeedaVaca 01:20 PM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
Okay, now mom just texted and said dcb took the bottle just fine at home from her. ??? She said that his experience today just wasn't normal.
Maybe I'm jaded...I don't believe it...
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laundrymom 02:04 PM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
Maybe I'm jaded...I don't believe it...
Ding ding ding.
Have mom do a feed at drop off each morning for a week so you can see "how she holds him/bottle/ burps. Etc. "
I also would send home after 30 min of failed feeding.
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Mom2Two 04:00 PM 09-19-2017
Yes to all of the above.

I'm thinking through exactly what I'm going to say to mom.

I just want to check...babies who aren't super hungry will still drink for at least a few minutes, right? He's 10 weeks old--he's got the reflex.

** DD was tube fed til 8 mth adjusted age and DS was 100% bf so I'm not a super authority on bottle feeding littles.
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midaycare 04:33 PM 09-19-2017
Yes to all the above. I had a baby who just couldn't take a bottle. Every day I tried, every day it didn't work. Dcm had to come and breast feed every day for about 3 months until baby took a bottle successfully.
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Mom2Two 04:53 PM 09-19-2017
Originally Posted by midaycare:
Yes to all the above. I had a baby who just couldn't take a bottle. Every day I tried, every day it didn't work. Dcm had to come and breast feed every day for about 3 months until baby took a bottle successfully.
Three. months. !!!!

Ahhhhh! Nooooo! There just aren't enough emotions to express.
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Mom2Two 05:00 PM 09-19-2017
Composing text:

Hi Dcm, Tomorrow, when you drop off, can we just take a few minutes to give dcb an ounce or more on his bottle. I need to see that he is eating well before I can have him here. If you think he might be sleeping, just wait til he is awake to bring him."

Aaaaand...it's sent.
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Blackcat31 06:39 AM 09-20-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
Composing text:

Hi Dcm, Tomorrow, when you drop off, can we just take a few minutes to give dcb an ounce or more on his bottle. I need to see that he is eating well before I can have him here. If you think he might be sleeping, just wait til he is awake to bring him."

Aaaaand...it's sent.
and... what time does she drop off?
Did she reply to the text?

Hoping she really is trying to help baby and not just saying the words. That is awfully unfair to baby.

If she does come for drop off but baby won't eat I would tell mom you will have to call her for feeding every 3 hours. If it's disruptive to your day, you might have to have her actually pick him up and then return when he is fully fed.

Other wise, if it were me Id simply refuse to take baby until you actually witness a full bottle fed to him.
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Ariana 09:59 AM 09-20-2017
I don't have any experience with this because kids here are home until 1 year but I did have a hard time getting my own to take a bottle. Inhad to try a few different nipples and only the NUK brand worked and only my DH could feed. I would never have left my infant knowing they could not bottle feed properly and consistently.

I was in a wedding/parenting forum a few years ago and it is VERY common practice for parents to tell other parents to not bother trying them with the bottle, just get the daycare provider to do it. It was infuriating for me. They said that for many things like weaning from pacifiers and toiletting as well. Not sure if this is why so many infants are starting not able to drink from a bottle.
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Mom2Two 10:46 AM 09-20-2017
So feeding went well enough at drop off that I did take him. And later in the morning he took a few ounces for me.

But then later, he was crying again, and I tried feeding him again, and while it was better than yesterday, it wasn't great. But at least it was better. He got tired though so I put him for a nap.

Maybe he's learning fast or maybe feeding him when he's tired isn't a good idea. Maybe I need to learn his routine better and then it will all work better.
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Mom2Two 10:47 AM 09-20-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I was in a wedding/parenting forum a few years ago and it is VERY common practice for parents to tell other parents to not bother trying them with the bottle, just get the daycare provider to do it. It was infuriating for me. They said that for many things like weaning from pacifiers and toiletting as well. Not sure if this is why so many infants are starting not able to drink from a bottle.
I've read stuff like this too on another forum. Grrr! No thank you!
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amberrose3dg 11:00 AM 09-20-2017
I see that attitude and behavior with parents today. I only kept the infant because overall the family is great and I have her two year old brother. They swore to me they worked with her all summer to get her ready. I thought it was just the baby being stubborn since mom isn't around. I got lucky in the fact she did start taking the bottle after a few days of trying.
I then found out that their idea of trying was dad doing it like two or three times with mom right there.
I was pretty annoyed since they both were off work all summer and could of gotten her ready.

My sil is headed down this path with her newborn. She is a first time mom(and takes no ones advice at all). I asked her if she was getting the baby ready for daycare. She thinks getting her to take a bottle right before she goes is acceptable. I see the daycare calling her to come get her baby a lot that first week.
No matter how great a provider we are we cannot replicate the exact behaviors here. We don't have one baby to snuggle all day. Parents need to get their babies prepared for daycare. I have 4 infants in my care. Two are breastfed and two are not. I'll give you a guess which ones are my easier babies. I sent one of them home today. She would not stop crying after 3 hours I had to call mom.
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amberrose3dg 11:03 AM 09-20-2017
AND I will not potty train or start it. Parents need to start that first. I will assist when here. Been there , done that. The kids will not train if parents aren't doing it.
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Mom2Two 11:04 AM 09-20-2017
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg:
AND I will not potty train or start it. Parents need to start that first. I will assist when here. Been there , done that. The kids will not train if parents aren't doing it.

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mommyneedsadayoff 01:37 PM 09-20-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
So feeding went well enough at drop off that I did take him. And later in the morning he took a few ounces for me.

But then later, he was crying again, and I tried feeding him again, and while it was better than yesterday, it wasn't great. But at least it was better. He got tired though so I put him for a nap.

Maybe he's learning fast or maybe feeding him when he's tired isn't a good idea. Maybe I need to learn his routine better and then it will all work better.
If he is only there four hours, I would bet the crying was due to being tired, versus hunger. If mom fed him and he ate well, I would give him a bit of tummy time and play, then lay him down for nap. Depending on how much he eats at each feed, I would probably be feeding him every two-three hours, so since he is only there for four hours and fed before coming (or at drop off in this case), I would only offer a bottle between naps and possibly before pick up, so he won't be cranky on the way home . Hope that makes sense.

Example:
7:00 am - arrives fed
7:45-9 am- nap
9:00- bottle
9:45-11 am- nap
11:00- bottle, goes home
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Mom2Two 01:42 PM 09-20-2017
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
If he is only there four hours, I would bet the crying was due to being tired, versus hunger. If mom fed him and he ate well, I would give him a bit of tummy time and play, then lay him down for nap. Depending on how much he eats at each feed, I would probably be feeding him every two-three hours, so since he is only there for four hours and fed before coming (or at drop off in this case), I would only offer a bottle one other time between naps. Hope that makes sense.

Example:
7:00 am - arrives fed
7:45-9 am- nap
9:00- bottle
9:45-11 am- nap
11:00- bottle, goes home
THANK YOU! I have been meaning to start a "Baby Tips" thread, or "Babies for Dummies," because that's how I feel!

Weird on the feeding though, is that on baby's log, she put down today that he fed from like 6:05 til 6:20 or maybe it was 7:05. But it was only 15 minutes (bf).

Now, I know that my body doesn't work like everyone elses. I have fibrocystic breasts and it's hard to get milk out. In the NICU, in the pump lounge, I would go in to pump and I'd hear another mom come in, pump, and leave, then another, then another. Pumping or BFing just took forever for me.

But only 15 minutes from mom? That seems so short to me.
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mommyneedsadayoff 01:54 PM 09-20-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
THANK YOU! I have been meaning to start a "Baby Tips" thread, or "Babies for Dummies," because that's how I feel!

Weird on the feeding though, is that on baby's log, she put down today that he fed from like 6:05 til 6:20 or maybe it was 7:05. But it was only 15 minutes (bf).

Now, I know that my body doesn't work like everyone elses. I have fibrocystic breasts and it's hard to get milk out. In the NICU, in the pump lounge, I would go in to pump and I'd hear another mom come in, pump, and leave, then another, then another. Pumping or BFing just took forever for me.

But only 15 minutes from mom? That seems so short to me.
I have more experience with bottle fed, but for my own babies, I would do 15-20 min on each breast, because it seemed to leave them the most satisfied. Also, when I pumped, I pretty much got 3-4 ounces total after pumping each side for 10-15 minutes. I only lasted for 2 months with each though, so take that advice for what it is worth.

As for the baby, I try to get them on a three hour schedule eventually so, wake up, eat, play, sleep, repeat. In your case, it may be a bit tougher because he only comes for 4 hours, but they usually fall right in to the routine as long as you stay consistent.
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Ariana 02:30 PM 09-20-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
THANK YOU! I have been meaning to start a "Baby Tips" thread, or "Babies for Dummies," because that's how I feel!

Weird on the feeding though, is that on baby's log, she put down today that he fed from like 6:05 til 6:20 or maybe it was 7:05. But it was only 15 minutes (bf).

Now, I know that my body doesn't work like everyone elses. I have fibrocystic breasts and it's hard to get milk out. In the NICU, in the pump lounge, I would go in to pump and I'd hear another mom come in, pump, and leave, then another, then another. Pumping or BFing just took forever for me.

But only 15 minutes from mom? That seems so short to me.
My eldest was a very efficient BFer and she would be done in 5 minutes! My youngest had a bit more struggle but she would never take 15 minutes to feed. That is a long time for sure but every baby and mom is different. Pumping is a whole other story as it is never as efficient as a baby!
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MarinaVanessa 02:50 PM 09-20-2017
I had a really hard time once when my friend's breast fed baby wouldn't take a bottle even for them. Dad would make DCM leave the house thinking the baby could sense/smell her and would try to bottle feed him and he refused. They tried for over a month.

I felt bad for them and because they're friends and they really did give it an honest try I still accepted him. I tried everything too, different bottles, different nipples, different flows etc and he flat out refused. I though I was going to have to throw in the towel and my friend thought she was going to have to quit her job. I had resorted to feeding him with an dropper to get milk in him.

Then someone on one of those crunchy breast feeding mom groups suggested a cup with a bendy straw saying that the lip pursing and sucking with those is similar to breast feeding. I went out and got a Munchkin Click Lock Straw Trainer Cup and no kidding within no more than three tries in 2 days he was gulping the milk down like a champ. The part inside moves around picking up the milk no matter what tilt the cup is at so they can even drink from it while reclined.

Later I had the same issue with not being to go anywhere without my own baby daughter because she refused every bottle known to man. I couldn't even go to a DR's appointment without her unless I did it between feedings. I tried one of those same cups and she got the hang of it within 2 or 3 tries.

Since then I recommend it if parents are having issues and it has worked for several people. Worth a shot.


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Mom2Two 03:05 PM 09-20-2017
I am getting one!
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Mom2Two 03:34 PM 09-22-2017
Well, to update... Yesterday's feed was awful. I was so mad that he was getting left that way with me, and I was feeling ready to term.

Then I decided to try DD's old bottles that have thin walls and are kinda squeezable. I also found that I have saved her microwave sterilizer.

He did better. As long as his lips were sealed around the bottle, I squeezed along with him sucking and he took about 3 oz. But then he had a big bm and between bearing down for that and then the diaper change, he had a big spit up. But he did fall asleep for the rest of his time here, so I guess he felt okay enough to sleep.

Today, after being fed twice before drop off and then sleeping for about 2.5 hours after drop off, feeding was also going badly even with DD's bottles, but I got 50 ml in, and I think he was okay. He had slept since drop off and I was feeding at 11 am.

Even though he had a bm during feeding, I didn't change him for a while--just held him without squishing the poop so that the milk could have a chance to leave his stomach. He had very little spit up this way even though he had been swallowing some air.

Sooo...we got through the day. He sure sleeps a lot, but feeding is pretty bad. At drop off, Mom brought me a thank you note and some homemade pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.

I'm thinking that I'll see how the next week goes. And in future, I'll definitely cover the bottle feeding issue better in interviews. Eeek!
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Mom2Two 09:46 AM 09-25-2017
Well today mom brought a different bottle with a flat nipple--brand is called Mam. It's fast flow, but baby did better, but still crying during feed some. THEN I decided to try sing during the feed. It took a couple of minutes, but baby stopped crying and had the rest of his bottle as calm as can be, keeping eye contact with me. I was kinda bobbing my head around a bit too, which seemed to engage him too.

Score one for music!
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MarinaVanessa 10:15 AM 09-25-2017
OMGOSH that's great! So glad there was an improvement today!
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daycarediva 11:21 AM 09-25-2017
You are SO patient. Glad things seem to be improving, or rather, you seem to be finding your groove with him.
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Ariana 12:30 PM 09-25-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
Well today mom brought a different bottle with a flat nipple--brand is called Mam. It's fast flow, but baby did better, but still crying during feed some. THEN I decided to try sing during the feed. It took a couple of minutes, but baby stopped crying and had the rest of his bottle as calm as can be, keeping eye contact with me. I was kinda bobbing my head around a bit too, which seemed to engage him too.

Score one for music!
That is awesome! So glad you are trying and finding things that work . Hope the success continues. He might also be starting to trust you and relax more too!
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Mom2Two 12:58 PM 09-25-2017
Thanks, guys. It's a good thing babies don't mind if we look bad/smell bad/or sound bad. he he

I have to say though...mom was definitely not filling me in on the real situation with baby's bottle feed. If I can get baby's feeding down, the next challenge might be the parents. Eeek!
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LostMyMarbles 02:06 PM 09-25-2017
None of us believe it. Been there done that. Stopped taking infants after that last one.
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MarinaVanessa 03:37 PM 09-26-2017
How did today go?
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Mom2Two 04:52 PM 09-26-2017
He was able to eat pretty well on his bottle, although he was crying at first. I sang to him and after he'd gotten about 1.5 ounces in his tummy, he settled down with a good latch and stopped crying. Then once he was full, he was a happy baby until he got tired. He always fusses a lot when he's tired.

I was able to play with him more today, and he's actually 12 weeks old now, so things should get more and more fun with him.

And I'm charging the same for 4.5 hours of him as I charge for up to 8 hours for an older child, so I feel okay about the effort I'm putting in, and it doesn't get too tiring.
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Josiegirl 02:08 AM 09-27-2017
I am SO thankful for my newest infant, they made sure he accepted a bottle before starting dc. And he's done great!
I need to tell dcm how grateful I am to her.

Now if we can just conquer the napping issues.
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Mom2Two 10:27 AM 09-28-2017
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I am SO thankful for my newest infant, they made sure he accepted a bottle before starting dc. And he's done great!
I need to tell dcm how grateful I am to her.

Now if we can just conquer the napping issues.

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Mom2Two 10:31 AM 09-28-2017
I just want to add something onto this thread that helped just now. I remembered something the nicu OT taught us. It's better to point the bottle nipple more towards the roof of the mouth, not straight back down the tongue. The way you can tell correct position is that the nipple will be about 2/3 full of milk and the top third will be air.

I adjusted it just now for this little guy and it helped him take his bottle.
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Ariana 11:11 AM 09-28-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
I just want to add something onto this thread that helped just now. I remembered something the nicu OT taught us. It's better to point the bottle nipple more towards the roof of the mouth, not straight back down the tongue. The way you can tell correct position is that the nipple will be about 2/3 full of milk and the top third will be air.

I adjusted it just now for this little guy and it helped him take his bottle.
Yes! This is how we got my kids to take bottles and pacifiers. Hitting the roof of their mouth also stimulates their suck reflex. I had completely forgotten!
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Mom2Two 05:16 PM 09-28-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Yes! This is how we got my kids to take bottles and pacifiers. Hitting the roof of their mouth also stimulates their suck reflex. I had completely forgotten!

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