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Old 05-26-2012, 08:38 AM
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Hunni Bee Hunni Bee is offline
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I have a PT four year old with some developmental delays. He goes to special ed. preschool in the am, and has been making major progress.

He got evaluated a little while ago, and I got the report back. After reading it, I feel the mother lied in the verbal history to make his behavior seem more severe. This child has been in our care for over three years, full time up until last September.

Some if the behaviors she described I've have never seen him do, she has never mentioned nor the school. We have long suspected that she holds him back intentionally, for example she insisted on using bottles, teething rings, etc long after he stopped needing them and stopped his therapy for a whole year, insisting he was "fine with we (the center) were doing".

How would you feel about this? He received a triple diagnosis and was put on meds for ADHD (at four??). I think she's trying to get more SSI for him. She seemed almost excited when she told us the results.
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Old 05-26-2012, 09:12 AM
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HMM wow it's normally the opposite way around where parents want to believe they have a perfect child. LOL. I would raise concern and ask whoever sent you the letter if they could give you any insight and just make sure to mention that you've never witnessed any of those behaviors, etc so they're aware something fishy may be going on.
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Old 05-26-2012, 10:04 AM
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The excitement she portrayed may be more relief than anything. That is if she is truly a conscientious parent. It may be relief that his behavior is a condition and not bad parenting.

I didn't know you could get SSI for an ADHD diagnosis. (need to look into that )

I find it sad that anyone would even consider giving meds to a 4 year old (unless they are violent and/or totally out of control). All meds affect the liver and putting someone on them at such a young age just can't be good. (IMHO)
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Old 05-26-2012, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care View Post
The excitement she portrayed may be more relief than anything. That is if she is truly a conscientious parent. It may be relief that his behavior is a condition and not bad parenting.

I didn't know you could get SSI for an ADHD diagnosis. (need to look into that )

I find it sad that anyone would even consider giving meds to a 4 year old (unless they are violent and/or totally out of control). All meds affect the liver and putting someone on them at such a young age just can't be good. (IMHO)
I was thinking maybe she was, but he's been diagnosed as developmentally delayed since age 2. It seemed she was looking for "more" diagnoses.

And yeah, here at least, you can get SSI for ADHD if you're on meds.

He's not the least bit violent or out of control. Hes really a sweetie, and only slightly hyperactive. The meds just make him sleep.
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Old 05-26-2012, 02:40 PM
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And yeah, here at least, you can get SSI for ADHD if you're on meds.
Aha! Well there you have it. (And also the reason I didn't know you could get it as my ADHD kid isn't on meds.)

It sadly sounds like she's using the kid as a cash box.
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Old 05-26-2012, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Abigail View Post
HMM wow it's normally the opposite way around where parents want to believe they have a perfect child. LOL. I would raise concern and ask whoever sent you the letter if they could give you any insight and just make sure to mention that you've never witnessed any of those behaviors, etc so they're aware something fishy may be going on.
You may actually be surprised to hear this ... but it's a 50/50 split with parents of special needs children. They are either nutjobs or completely normal. The nutjobs tend to make their special needs children MORE "special" than they naturally are.

I'm not surprised. I am a special needs mom.
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Old 05-27-2012, 03:07 AM
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You may actually be surprised to hear this ... but it's a 50/50 split with parents of special needs children. They are either nutjobs or completely normal. The nutjobs tend to make their special needs children MORE "special" than they naturally are.

I'm not surprised. I am a special needs mom.
I'm a special needs stepmom and I totally agree. I won't get into details but some of the things my sdd's mom does regarding her medical care and everyday life just confuse the heck out of me. We treat sdd exactly the same as every other child that walks through the doors here and expect her to contribute according to her physical limitations (which are very small when she wants to do something ). Her mom almost gets offended that she isn't treated differently here. But I just don't see how I can justify treating her differently when she is more than physically capable of doing what we ask.
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Old 05-27-2012, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Hunni Bee View Post
Some if the behaviors she described I've have never seen him do, she has never mentioned nor the school. We have long suspected that she holds him back intentionally, for example she insisted on using bottles, teething rings, etc long after he stopped needing them and stopped his therapy for a whole year, insisting he was "fine with we (the center) were doing".
It wouldn't surprise me if you or the school didn't see the behaviors this mother is seeing at home. From the time he was very young, I would ask others close to us if they noticed anything "off" about my son's behaviors. Everyone's reaction was basicially that I was a worry-wart and that he was fine. Part of the problem I had in getting my son diagnosed with Asperger's is that he was so good at holding it together at school. It took all he had in him to get through the day there but as soon as he walked in the door at home, he would totally melt down. When I described his anxiety and meltdowns during IEP meetings, they all looked at me as if I had 3 heads. I'm sure they thought I was nuts. In this woman's case, though, if she really is intentionally holding him back, I feel sorry for the child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee View Post
How would you feel about this? He received a triple diagnosis and was put on meds for ADHD (at four??). I think she's trying to get more SSI for him. She seemed almost excited when she told us the results.
It took me so long to get my son's doctor to take my concerns seriously (years!) that by the time he received his diagnosis, I was thrilled and felt almost like celebrating because not only was I finally vindicated, I was relieved to finally be able to get the help I felt he needed. It took a couple of days before the seriousness of his diagnosis hit me. Again, if she is doing this for inscreased SSI benefits, though, I'd be disgusted with her.
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Old 05-27-2012, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by e.j. View Post
It wouldn't surprise me if you or the school didn't see the behaviors this mother is seeing at home. From the time he was very young, I would ask others close to us if they noticed anything "off" about my son's behaviors. Everyone's reaction was basicially that I was a worry-wart and that he was fine. Part of the problem I had in getting my son diagnosed with Asperger's is that he was so good at holding it together at school. It took all he had in him to get through the day there but as soon as he walked in the door at home, he would totally melt down. When I described his anxiety and meltdowns during IEP meetings, they all looked at me as if I had 3 heads. I'm sure they thought I was nuts. In this woman's case, though, if she really is intentionally holding him back, I feel sorry for the child.


It took me so long to get my son's doctor to take my concerns seriously (years!) that by the time he received his diagnosis, I was thrilled and felt almost like celebrating because not only was I finally vindicated, I was relieved to finally be able to get the help I felt he needed. It took a couple of days before the seriousness of his diagnosis hit me. Again, if she is doing this for inscreased SSI benefits, though, I'd be disgusted with her.
You raise some good points. But I dont think that's the case. We've had to threaten termination more than once to get her to start and continue his treatment. She's known for years there's a problem. She's pursued several diagnoses - DD,MR, autism, ADHD. She's finally got one.

I know I sound harsh, but I've watched this mom over the years. Her interest in his diagnosis only started when she found out she could get a check for it. She was content to have him be a baby for as long as he would.
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Old 05-28-2012, 03:15 PM
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About ssi benefits, she is not going to get more money from SSI if her son have more than that. I think she is nuts!! Is she single mother? I just wonder how she gets ssi benefits for her son???
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