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  #1  
Old 07-06-2017, 06:45 AM
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My daughter and her family recently moved, found a daycare that they love, has a good focus on education, low adult:child ratios, close to home... all the good stuff.

About a week after they started taking my granddaughter, the biting started. She came home with a bite. OK, they're 2 1/2, it happens, whatever. However, in the last 3 months, my granddaughter has been bitten- by the same child- NINE times. On her arms, on her hand, on the back of her leg, on her FACE. They have talked to the teachers, they have emailed the director, not really much has been done about it because "it's expected at this age." The parents of the biter know (they're "sorry"), other kids have been bitten (we don't know the frequency of these episodes), and yet nothing has changed.

My daughter and SIL asked to have my granddaughter moved from that room ("toddler" room) to the "preschool" room, even though she won't be 3 for another 6 weeks or so. The school complied, and things have been fine- until yesterday. They were out on the playground with a couple of other classes- including her old class. Guess who got bitten again? Not once, but TWICE. By the same kid. Because she "isn't a good sharer" (according to the biter). My daughter talked to the director again this morning, and was actually told "I don't appreciate being attacked" when my daughter insisted that she share what is actively being done to correct the biting (actually, nothing is being done- and confirmed by the director). I guess it's OK for 3 year olds to be "attacked" though.

My daughter feels like her child is not in a safe environment (I tend to agree), and is going to remove her from the daycare as soon as she finds another option. And she certainly isn't going to send my 5 month old grandson next month as she had planned. She is disappointed that the center is not taking this seriously, and is wondering if there are any other suggestions short of removing her from the center that they once loved?
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  #2  
Old 07-06-2017, 06:47 AM
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My daughter and her family recently moved, found a daycare that they love, has a good focus on education, low adult:child ratios, close to home... all the good stuff.

About a week after they started taking my granddaughter, the biting started. She came home with a bite. OK, they're 2 1/2, it happens, whatever. However, in the last 3 months, my granddaughter has been bitten- by the same child- NINE times. On her arms, on her hand, on the back of her leg, on her FACE. They have talked to the teachers, they have emailed the director, not really much has been done about it because "it's expected at this age." The parents of the biter know (they're "sorry"), other kids have been bitten (we don't know the frequency of these episodes), and yet nothing has changed.

My daughter and SIL asked to have my granddaughter moved from that room ("toddler" room) to the "preschool" room, even though she won't be 3 for another 6 weeks or so. The school complied, and things have been fine- until yesterday. They were out on the playground with a couple of other classes- including her old class. Guess who got bitten again? Not once, but TWICE. By the same kid. Because she "isn't a good sharer" (according to the biter). My daughter talked to the director again this morning, and was actually told "I don't appreciate being attacked" when my daughter insisted that she share what is actively being done to correct the biting (actually, nothing is being done- and confirmed by the director). I guess it's OK for 3 year olds to be "attacked" though.

My daughter feels like her child is not in a safe environment (I tend to agree), and is going to remove her from the daycare as soon as she finds another option. And she certainly isn't going to send my 5 month old grandson next month as she had planned. She is disappointed that the center is not taking this seriously, and is wondering if there are any other suggestions short of removing her from the center that they once loved?
Unfortunately there aren't many solutions other than withdrawing from care...which I would have done so a LOT sooner than now and I certainly would NOT be waiting to find other another option..... the ONLY option I see is immediate.

Can I ask what state this is?
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Old 07-06-2017, 06:54 AM
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Ohio. They have been more than willing to work with the center, and up until yesterday thought things were being done to curb the behavior. Now that it's apparent that it's not, steps are being taken. She is calling 2 other centers today, hopefully there is a vacancy available.
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Old 07-06-2017, 06:57 AM
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Ohio. They have been more than willing to work with the center, and up until yesterday thought things were being done to curb the behavior. Now that it's apparent that it's not, steps are being taken. She is calling 2 other centers today, hopefully there is a vacancy available.
Is the biter child related to the owner, director or a staff person by chance?

Is the biter the same age as your grand child?
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Old 07-06-2017, 07:02 AM
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She isn't related to anyone of importance, at least that has been admitted by anyone...

She is about 2 months younger than my granddaughter. Both are very capable of communicating verbally, so that isn't thought to be a contributor.
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Old 07-06-2017, 07:06 AM
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She isn't related to anyone of importance, at least that has been admitted by anyone...

She is about 2 months younger than my granddaughter. Both are very capable of communicating verbally, so that isn't thought to be a contributor.
As a parent I would be livid that my child was allowed to be bitten that many times.

That is NOT a child behavior issue (frustration, verbal issues, sharing etc) IT IS A SUPERVISION issue and that is where my anger would be directed.

If you DD likes the center and feels they aren't doing enough I would go to the Director and find out why this child has been allowed to bit so many times. Yes, I said "allowed" because once, maybe twice is sometimes unavoidable but 9+ times?!
This center seems to have some issues with supervision if 9 is truly the number.

If this were my center, the biter would have been terminated by now. I would also be fearful of the victim's parents filing a report that my center failed to keep their child safe.

I am sorry for your grand daughter....no one deserves that for ANY reason. I truly hope this center learns from this.

I also hope your daughter is able to find a resolution.
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Old 07-06-2017, 07:19 AM
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Thanks, Black Cat. She truly believes that this is a supervision issue, which is why she is so angry that it isn't being taken more seriously. I think the reason that they haven't moved her sooner is twofold... she has a new baby brother, just moved to a new city, in a new house, and a new daycare, then she moved to a new classroom in the daycare, it's a lot of change for a little kid. And secondly, she honestly believed that they would act on this and not just ignore it with a "kids will be kids" attitude. The number of episodes is accurate (she insisted on copies of all of the incident reports this morning).
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Old 07-06-2017, 08:46 AM
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We have had this exact same problem at our daycare that I work at, we blamed it on our director because she let it go for so long because NOTHING was done. We wrote reports to both the biter and the victim and even said we would term but nothing become of it. So now since our director has left, no biting has occurred since
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Old 07-06-2017, 10:06 AM
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The director probably wants the issue to be on the teachers alone and doesn't want to step on people's toes, but this is a safety thing. After the 2nd incident, a behavior plan should've been created for both the victim and the biter, effective immediately.
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:39 AM
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UPDATE: My daughter talked to one of the other daycare facilities in her area. She visited there at lunchtime. They are closer to her house. They use the same curriculum. The staff to child ratio is 6:1 for the preschool room (and 4:1 for the infants). They are $400 a month cheaper for the 2 kids. They have an opening for each of them and can start on Monday. AND they have a biting protocol already in place!

Even better- she just got a call from the problem daycare director- they are kicking my granddaughter out of the program! My daughter told them when she left that she would be looking for a new place for her. So the director called her and said that she "spoke with corporate, and they say that we have handled this situation properly, and that today will be the last day that we will provide care for your daughter." Unbelievable. Keep the biter and throw out the victim. Somehow, I see a call or two to the state being made in the next day or so.
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:44 AM
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UPDATE: My daughter talked to one of the other daycare facilities in her area. She visited there at lunchtime. They are closer to her house. They use the same curriculum. The staff to child ratio is 6:1 for the preschool room (and 4:1 for the infants). They are $400 a month cheaper for the 2 kids. They have an opening for each of them and can start on Monday. AND they have a biting protocol already in place!

Even better- she just got a call from the problem daycare director- they are kicking my granddaughter out of the program! My daughter told them when she left that she would be looking for a new place for her. So the director called her and said that she "spoke with corporate, and they say that we have handled this situation properly, and that today will be the last day that we will provide care for your daughter." Unbelievable. Keep the biter and throw out the victim. Somehow, I see a call or two to the state being made in the next day or so.
Will there be any money issues?

Many times when this type of situation arises, money is the next struggle.

If your daughter perhaps paid for care in advance and will not be using the services paid for or the center says she owes for a notice period?

Just curious as that seems to be the next hand played when it comes to this type of thing.

I am glad your daughter found somewhere else to go but please remember that having a biting protocol won't prevent biting. But it will help when dealing with it. Sadly some day your daughter could find herself the parents of a biter.. the key in my opinion is a working relationship between parent and provider(staff) with lots of open honest communication.
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Old 07-06-2017, 12:00 PM
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No money issues. They pay week to week, and the director said that they would refund her money for tomorrow.

We all understand that a biting protocol won't prevent biting. But at least they have a plan in place if it happens again. And are willing to share that plan with the parents.
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Old 07-06-2017, 12:42 PM
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What the hell!

I'm so mad for you after reading this. We have had some biting problems, also (not to the extent). I'd be livid if my child's care was taken away because I talked to them about it.
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