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nicoleharris 10:58 AM 03-13-2019
Hello all, I've been lurking on this forum occasionally when I need help and suggestions for work and decided to go ahead and join XD. I'm a lead teacher in a center in the "rainbow room" a class of eighteen 2 1/2 to 3 year olds. I have one co-teacher who is in there with me, however 18 children in that age group can still be a lot of us to handle sometimes. Between potty training and trying to keep their social skills (and sometimes lack of) in check. One of the main reasons I wanted to reach out and join was for suggestions for a child I have in my room that I have yet been able to find anything that works for him.

One of the main problems is his rough behavior with some of the other children. I understand it is not because he is trying to be "mean." Most of the time it's very obvious that he is play wrestling, however he does things like jump on top of other children, grab them by the collars of their shirts and yank on them, or straight put his hands around their necks like a choke hold. When another child does upset him, he goes straight for their necks as well, and gives very little warning to us that something had occurred to upset him other than that.

I have a very hard time correcting this because he is very stubborn about anybody disrupting his play. If I try to redirect him he starts getting upset and throwing chairs and starts stripping his clothes off. I've tried offering him stuffed animals to fight with, calming bottles, bubble wrap, all kinds of things.

I was also the teacher to his older brother, who was much more difficult. He pitched tantrums much the same, however was also delayed in speech and never really showed interest in interacting with peers. When he moved from mine to the older classroom, his outbursts became so bad he had to leave the center due to hurting other children and too many parent complaints. He was eventually diagnosed with ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. His little brother reminds me a lot of him, except he is more affectionate and actually has built good teacher and peer relationships. I really want to try and nip some of these aggressive behaviors before they get too bad this time. Any suggestions on this?
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Cat Herder 12:09 PM 03-13-2019
Welcome!! Stick around.

I can't really give you advice on this as center rules, policies and procedures are not really up to you, but management. It is one of the hardest parts of working for someone else.

What is your company policy for this? What does your director suggest?
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Michael 04:49 PM 03-13-2019
Welcome to the forum. I upgraded your status.
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Blackcat31 07:09 AM 03-14-2019
Welcome to the forum!

I would also suggest speaking with the director.
Being a teacher in school and reaching out to make a connection to one of your pupils is so much different than being a lead teacher in a child care classroom where parents are paying for safe supervision of their child.

I know states are pushing the learning aspect but that's whole other topic.... an aggressively rough child is a huge liability to a self employed business owner. Any advice I have would be coming from that perspective.
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nicoleharris 09:35 AM 03-14-2019
Well I’ve been asking center directors for weeks for help. It’s difficult because when he’s having issues within the classroom they come and take him out to the hallway, it stops, they bring him back a few minutes later and it begins again. I wish they would stay longer in the classroom longer to observe, however I am happy to say that today, after begging for weeks, they’re going to have the behavioral specialist come to my room to help me address the aggressive issues we’ve been having, fingers crossed we can figure something out!
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Blackcat31 10:13 AM 03-14-2019
Originally Posted by nicoleharris:
Well Ive been asking center directors for weeks for help. Its difficult because when hes having issues within the classroom they come and take him out to the hallway, it stops, they bring him back a few minutes later and it begins again. I wish they would stay longer in the classroom longer to observe, however I am happy to say that today, after begging for weeks, theyre going to have the behavioral specialist come to my room to help me address the aggressive issues weve been having, fingers crossed we can figure something out!
That is good to hear!

Like I said, it's so hard to deal with aggressive behaviors and while there are probably a million and one ways to address it, the issue still remains a tough one for family child care providers. Especially those working alone.

Kudos to you for trying to assist this child in learning more appropriate behaviors as it's so important.

Are you able to conference with or discuss any of this with his parents? Are they working WITH you ( & the child care) or are they pretty blind to it all?
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Tags:aggression, center, center workers, defiance, new member, suggestions, two year old, violence in child care
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