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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Have You Ever Declined Based Off Interview Behavior?
Unregistered 09:05 AM 07-17-2018
I had a mom and her 2 girls (2 and 4) come by yesterday for an interview. Mom seemed to be decent. The kids were acting pretty bad. Into everything, going into rooms I do not allow. The 4 yr old is sassy. Ugh. I want to decline before I even start.
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Snowmom 09:11 AM 07-17-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I had a mom and her 2 girls (2 and 4) come by yesterday for an interview. Mom seemed to be decent. The kids were acting pretty bad. Into everything, going into rooms I do not allow. The 4 yr old is sassy. Ugh. I want to decline before I even start.
Yes, I have passed on some who acted terribly at the interview.

I also begrudgingly took in one girl who was a bloody terror at the interview but ended up being my favorite dck ever.

As long as the parents don't throw red flags, I can work with (most) of the rest. Kids act much different with their parents than with us.
I lay down the law and they believe me.
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Josiegirl 09:18 AM 07-17-2018
Not that I can recall but I have turned down someone who never even made it to an interview. We had an interview scheduled, she was a no-show so I texted her. Strange because I never follow up if they don't show up. But I did this one. The 1st time we spoke on the phone we(rather she) talked for probably 45 minutes. A lot of nonsense stuff, jibberish about ds might have an issue he was getting tested for. Next time we spoke(after the no-show), she starts in again, on and on and on, another 30 minutes of jibberish and I'd finally had it, burst into her conversation and said "I don't think I'm a good fit for your needs" and she agreed.

If you already have a 'feeling' about this dcf, I'd pass.
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savedbygrace43 09:25 AM 07-17-2018
Yes, I have passed on quite a few, based on red flags. The worst child experience during an interview was a kid who put his hand inside my fish tank in my office and was trying to catch the fish, and the mom did nothing, I eventually told the child to stop, and the parent was irritated that I corrected his behavior.
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Unregistered 09:29 AM 07-17-2018
Originally Posted by savedbygrace43:
Yes, I have passed on quite a few, based on red flags. The worst child experience during an interview was a kid who put his hand inside my fish tank in my office and was trying to catch the fish, and the mom did nothing, I eventually told the child to stop, and the parent was irritated that I corrected his behavior.
Unreal! Parents do not parent anymore.
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Unregistered 09:32 AM 07-17-2018
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Yes, I have passed on some who acted terribly at the interview.

I also begrudgingly took in one girl who was a bloody terror at the interview but ended up being my favorite dck ever.

As long as the parents don't throw red flags, I can work with (most) of the rest. Kids act much different with their parents than with us.
I lay down the law and they believe me.
This is where I stand on it. There were no red flags from mom. Other than she did not correct some behaviors. I can usually work with kids and get them to comply. It was just so crazy when they were here that I want to call it ALL off.
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savedbygrace43 09:39 AM 07-17-2018
Always trust your first instinct.
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Tin Blues 09:39 AM 07-17-2018
Yes, I’ve known within the first 5 minutes that I wasn’t going to offer a spot to somebody. I’m pretty blunt with parents. Let them know that I’m looking for the best possible fit and I interview until the spot is filled. It’s not always easy to call and let a parent know they didn’t make the cut. But it’s better than struggling with a child that won’t fit. When you have an interview and there are red flags, listen to your gut.
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Annalee 09:40 AM 07-17-2018
Absolutely! I meet with the families three times before committing to anything. I have a client coming at 3 today for her third visit and if all goes well, we will complete the paperwork at this visit. This process does not alleviate all problems but it does help! The last two I have taken have not had good outcomes so I am overly cautious this time. I feel families have learned to say/do what they need to in order to be enrolled, but then the attitude changes. It is a game and it has become a challenge to weed through for the client that is genuinely sincere in what they say/do.
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Cat Herder 09:54 AM 07-17-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I had a mom and her 2 girls (2 and 4) come by yesterday for an interview. Mom seemed to be decent. The kids were acting pretty bad. Into everything, going into rooms I do not allow. The 4 yr old is sassy. Ugh. I want to decline before I even start.
This would tell me there is a parent issue.
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Blackcat31 10:00 AM 07-17-2018
Depends. I don't base my overall decision on one meeting though. Instead I have a trial period where I get an opportunity to learn more about the child and the family.

I have long time kids in care now that are super well behaved for me but turn into some sort of possessed demon the minute their parent shows up so I know behavior with a parent can be 100% different for me.

This situation is the entire point of a trial period.
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Annalee 10:10 AM 07-17-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Depends. I don't base my overall decision on one meeting though. Instead I have a trial period where I get an opportunity to learn more about the child and the family.

I have long time kids in care now that are super well behaved for me but turn into some sort of possessed demon the minute their parent shows up so I know behavior with a parent can be 100% different for me.

This situation is the entire point of a trial period.
I have a four week trial period as well but where I used to mess up is by telling the parent all was fine because I didn't want to say they cried all day. During this time, I felt it looked bad on me if things didn't work out. BUT now, I am totally honest and actually do something about it if it isn't working. Took me way too long to learn that lesson!
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JBWWCC 10:35 AM 07-17-2018
Yup! That's what the interviews are for. I agree it absolutely does depend on the child! Every child I have/had, was different without their parents. However, I had one Interview where the child took a SHARPIE from moms purse and walked down the entire hall drawing a line! I ended with, "I will let you know what I decide." They were a no from me.
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BumbleBee 10:37 AM 07-17-2018
Yes. It's not a be all end all but poor interview behavior from parents or kids is a factor.
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LysesKids 01:28 PM 07-17-2018
Originally Posted by JBWWCC:
Yup! That's what the interviews are for. I agree it absolutely does depend on the child! Every child I have/had, was different without their parents. However, I had one Interview where the child took a SHARPIE from moms purse and walked down the entire hall drawing a line! I ended with, "I will let you know what I decide." They were a no from me.
I would have asked the parent right then & there for repainting money then a firm NO afterwards. I would hate to see what their house looked like
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Unregistered 08:54 PM 07-17-2018
Yes, which is why I require the child be present at the interview. While some kids have been holy terrors. It's mostly saved me from snowflake mom who thought their children where the end all to be all.
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CalCare 11:01 PM 07-17-2018
Yes, I saw a couple crazies come through my door... Never came in the door again lol
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amberrose3dg 03:01 AM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by CalCare:
Yes, I saw a couple crazies come through my door... Never came in the door again lol
Oh god yes!
Right before vacation.tons of red flags.
1.the whole interview bad mouthed the center her kid was going to. Went as far as saying they were hurting and abusing her child. My question is why is your child still going there then? No good response.
2.they spanked their kid in front of me like it was nothing.
3. Stories were inconsistent.
4. She is a state aid client and admits to running errands on their dime which is a big no no. You go to work and come back to pick your kid up.
5.she was pregnant and due soon.
6. Her boyfriend started going through stuff in my house.
7.she told me she doesn't claim him so she can get state help.(ugh)
Once that interview left I knew no way I was dealing with them.
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DaveA 03:39 AM 07-18-2018
It can be a factor. Children tend to act differently during the interview then they do with me, so that's not a given. But it does weigh in on my post interview evaluation. It's basically depends on parent's reaction to the behavior and what the child is doing. The sharpie thing would have been a interview ender right there)
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Ariana 05:03 AM 07-18-2018
I have declined twice but never for a child’s behavior only for the parents. I can tell when someone is going to try and take advantage and is crazy much better now! For kids (and some parents)I give a 6 week trial period
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Kimskiddos 08:50 AM 07-18-2018
Oh yes, turned one politely away last month (well she wanted on my wait list, I put her at the very bottom).

She wanted me to hold the spot for over a month. She wanted a special diet. She wanted open to close.
She then asked me what would happen if she picked up late, then gave me a couple of reason why she would possibly pick up late. Questioned vacations and days off.

The kicker was she called one of my current client references and actually told her she would be keeping track of all my time off.

I told her I would get back to her in a couple of weeks after finishing up with my scheduled interviews (wanted her to understand it was my decision). Then I admit I completely forgot about her because she was a BIG NO, until she called back after a few weeks. That's when I told her I had filled the spot and put her on that wait list going nowhere.

The happy ending is I found a perfect family/fit at the very next interview.
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Blackcat31 09:26 AM 07-18-2018
YES! in regards to declining a client based on parent behavior! I had a potential client contact me a couple weeks back.....

She inquired about care and had a list of questions she wanted me to answer.

I directed her to my website and told her most the info in regards to the questions can be found on my site and to feel free to put her name on my wait list if my info sounded like something she was interested in.

She replied that she didn't have time to go read my website and could I just tell her what she wanted to know. Then she added "...and reply in a different font. I don't like the one you are using now." (fwiw, I use Comic Sans)

So I replied in invisible ink.
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amberrose3dg 09:45 AM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
YES! in regards to declining a client based on parent behavior! I had a potential client contact me a couple weeks back.....

She inquired about care and had a list of questions she wanted me to answer.

I directed her to my website and told her most the info in regards to the questions can be found on my site and to feel free to put her name on my wait list if my info sounded like something she was interested in.

She replied that she didn't have time to go read my website and could I just tell her what she wanted to know. Then she added "...and reply in a different font. I don't like the one you are using now." (fwiw, I use Comic Sans)

So I replied in invisible ink.
Oh my
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Annalee 09:46 AM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
YES! in regards to declining a client based on parent behavior! I had a potential client contact me a couple weeks back.....

She inquired about care and had a list of questions she wanted me to answer.

I directed her to my website and told her most the info in regards to the questions can be found on my site and to feel free to put her name on my wait list if my info sounded like something she was interested in.

She replied that she didn't have time to go read my website and could I just tell her what she wanted to know. Then she added "...and reply in a different font. I don't like the one you are using now." (fwiw, I use Comic Sans)

So I replied in invisible ink.
Oh my goodness! Some of these clients
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amberrose3dg 09:49 AM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by Kimskiddos:
Oh yes, turned one politely away last month (well she wanted on my wait list, I put her at the very bottom).

She wanted me to hold the spot for over a month. She wanted a special diet. She wanted open to close.
She then asked me what would happen if she picked up late, then gave me a couple of reason why she would possibly pick up late. Questioned vacations and days off.

The kicker was she called one of my current client references and actually told her she would be keeping track of all my time off.

I told her I would get back to her in a couple of weeks after finishing up with my scheduled interviews (wanted her to understand it was my decision). Then I admit I completely forgot about her because she was a BIG NO, until she called back after a few weeks. That's when I told her I had filled the spot and put her on that wait list going nowhere.

The happy ending is I found a perfect family/fit at the very next interview.
That sounds like a big fat no.
There is a daycare closing near me. I have one of their clients starting with me next month. She asked if I had an opening for another child. Well the mom called me and she has two kids not one. She needs almost open to close for a 3 year old. She then started asking me if she had to pay when kids aren't here, vacations, if i had back up care when im closed. I flat out said yes you pay no matter what and i do not offer back up care.I got the ill talk to my husband response.You can almost tell immediately if a family is going to work out or not sometimes before you even interview.
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Mike 09:54 AM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
So I replied in invisible ink.


I've found that children can be very different under your care, so a child's action wouldn't be an automatic no, but I would be more weary of potential problems due to parenting style.
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hwichlaz 10:24 AM 07-18-2018
I had an interview last week. She comes in with a 2-year-old with a VERY full leaking diaper and denies it, and a 5 month old asleep in a car seat.

First, only wants 3 days even though I require at least 4.

Then says that her child can't have any soy, nuts or nut butters, any dairy, or red meat or pork...but it's not religious or allergies...though mom herself is allergic to peanuts. I told her I'd happily keep nut butters away from her child to avoid cross contamination to mom...I don't serve them often enough for it to be an issue anyway...but I'm on the food program and require participation for enrollment. So she could send lactose-free or soy milk for me to serve with my regular menu...anything else needs a dr's note.

Her husband is a deputy and going to want to look up the crime in my neighborhood before dropping in for a visit. All but one of my current familes is law enforcement... I live in a very poor neighborhood that gets a lot of 911 calls for small things. I used to live in a nice upper middle class neighborhood, and I ended up being the witness to a gang fight which included a shooting in the street in front of my house....so i'll not be calling these people back.
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Unregistered 11:38 AM 07-18-2018
Update from OP here. So I have the girls here today. They are doing fine. Learning quickly that I run the show.
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Blackcat31 12:00 PM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Update from OP here. So I have the girls here today. They are doing fine. Learning quickly that I run the show.
Awesome! It's always nice when they are quick learners!
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Unregistered 04:41 PM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Awesome! It's always nice when they are quick learners!
Yes! And as you mentioned above, kids act much different for us than they do for their parents.
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Ariana 09:24 PM 07-18-2018
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Yes! And as you mentioned above, kids act much different for us than they do for their parents.
Yes and its much easier to whip them into shape! Parents on the other hand
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Tags:the art of the interview
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