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registered 06:14 AM 07-09-2012
I am registered but I am logged out for privacy reasons:


I have a 3 year old dcg who refused to eat lunch for almost two months. I have her in my care since she was 6 months old. I don't know what was going on with her. She has the same problem at home. She would only eat breakfast, dinner, and snacks.

She freaked out and screamed like bloody murder every time I tell everyone, "it is lunch time." Everyone needs to sit down on the table. She refused to sit down to the table but I make her to sit like someone else. I told her that she don't have to eat lunch. I have tried to tell her to take a few bites but I knew she loves to eat, like I said, she doesn't have problem before. I gave up and put her in bed for a nap time. She was fine with it if i put her in bed.

A little background about her, she is very spoil child, always stay up late like 2 am to 4am, stink attitude, smart mouth, and know a lot of foul words. Her parents let her whatever she wants. She has older siblings (ages of 13 and 16 years old) and they are spoiled, too. My husband and her father are good friends. He told me everything what they do in their house and he was pretty shocked how their kids act. She knew that she cannot do that in my house and she knows that I am very strict with her like someone else, ever my kids.

What should I do with her to eat lunch again? I am not sure if I am doing right thing to put her in bed if she refused to eat lunch. She seems to be happy to be in bed like she avoids to eat lunch.
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sharlan 07:37 AM 07-09-2012
I wouldn't make an issue of it.

Your job is to provide the food, it's her's to eat it. If she refuses to eat, go ahead and lay her down for her nap.
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Heidi 10:19 AM 07-09-2012
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I wouldn't make an issue of it.

Your job is to provide the food, it's her's to eat it. If she refuses to eat, go ahead and lay her down for her nap.
yep...this

Put a small amount on her plate, and keep your face passive. She doesn't need to know it bothers you in the least. If she refuses to sit or eat, shrug your shoulders, and say "ok, go ahead and lay down then, if you change your mind, you can join us at the table".

Those are the ONLY 2 choices, though. She doesn't get to go play or do something special.

This might also be a good time to do a story time, or some songs or finger plays, or something else she will miss out on. Don't TELL her or rub it in. Just let it cost her something to miss lunch. Or, maybe she could miss out on a little treat now and then...like a couple M& M's for dessert or a homemade cookie. Again, don't rub it in, or even mention it.

If she does decide to join you, say "hey..dcg..so nice to see you at the table with us"

reinforce the positive...ignore the negative..
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:19 AM 07-09-2012
I agree with Sharlan. Just provide it. If she refuses to eat it, that's fine.

I'm sure she's still getting 3 meals a day. Especially since she goes to bed so late. It's probably more like breakfast, snack, dinner, second dinner.
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countrymom 10:28 AM 07-09-2012
I had one just like this one a few months ago. Screamed like crazy for parents too. I had enough, so she got to sit all by herself and she wasn't allowed to get up till she was done. I realized that she was screaming for attention, she would wail like crazy till someone paid attention to her. Even the littles couldn't stand it anymore and would go hide. Also, removing her and letting her go play was "exactly what she wanted to do" it took 2 days and everything is fine now, she even eats for her parents.
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Truly Scrumptious 11:09 AM 07-09-2012
I'm sure she gets attention at home for this...because parents are worried their little angel will wither away to nothing.
I would not make it personal....announce that it's lunchtime and when she throws a fit....explain that you are sorry she is upset, but the rule is, everyone has to sit down for lunch. Tell her she doesn't have to eat. but she does have to sit at the table with her friends until lunch is over....then don't talk about it anymore.
If she is loud, move her to her own little space to wait out lunch. Tell her that she is being disrespectful to her friends, so she will have to sit alone.
When lunch is over...then she can be excused. It's just a power struggle.
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jojosmommy 11:30 AM 07-09-2012
Originally Posted by registered:
I am registered but I am logged out for privacy reasons:


I have a 3 year old dcg who refused to eat lunch for almost two months. I have her in my care since she was 6 months old. I don't know what was going on with her. She has the same problem at home. She would only eat breakfast, dinner, and snacks.

She freaked out and screamed like bloody murder every time I tell everyone, "it is lunch time." Everyone needs to sit down on the table. She refused to sit down to the table but I make her to sit like someone else. I told her that she don't have to eat lunch. I have tried to tell her to take a few bites but I knew she loves to eat, like I said, she doesn't have problem before. I gave up and put her in bed for a nap time. She was fine with it if i put her in bed.

A little background about her, she is very spoil child, always stay up late like 2 am to 4am, stink attitude, smart mouth, and know a lot of foul words. Her parents let her whatever she wants. She has older siblings (ages of 13 and 16 years old) and they are spoiled, too. My husband and her father are good friends. He told me everything what they do in their house and he was pretty shocked how their kids act. She knew that she cannot do that in my house and she knows that I am very strict with her like someone else, ever my kids.

What should I do with her to eat lunch again? I am not sure if I am doing right thing to put her in bed if she refused to eat lunch. She seems to be happy to be in bed like she avoids to eat lunch.
I'm sure she gets what she wants and when she wants it in regards to food at home. A battle you will never win. Provide the food. Make her sit politely at the table. Ignore her choice not to eat. Move on with your routine.

I don't allow kids to go to bed just to avoid a fight. I think kids need to learn that if they choose to not eat they still have responsibilities to take care of and I still have the responsibility to offer her food. I think kids who get to choose to take a nap or eat still hold the power. THEY get to decide, THEY get to control the group. And in my experience, once one gets special treatment around meal routines they all want it. Eat or not you still sit and interact polietly at the table in my house.
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Heidi 12:23 PM 07-09-2012
Originally Posted by jojosmommy:
I'm sure she gets what she wants and when she wants it in regards to food at home. A battle you will never win. Provide the food. Make her sit politely at the table. Ignore her choice not to eat. Move on with your routine.

I don't allow kids to go to bed just to avoid a fight. I think kids need to learn that if they choose to not eat they still have responsibilities to take care of and I still have the responsibility to offer her food. I think kids who get to choose to take a nap or eat still hold the power. THEY get to decide, THEY get to control the group. And in my experience, once one gets special treatment around meal routines they all want it. Eat or not you still sit and interact polietly at the table in my house.
I would totally agree with that, but it sounds like she makes a scene about it every time. I personally wouldn't allow that at the table; it ruins the meal for everyone else.

Maybe a compromise would be that she could sit in a specific spot AWAY from the table...close enough to see what she's missing, but far enough that she's not spoiling everyone else' meal. I have a 2.5 yo that occasionally balks at meals..thinks he's going to control what's offered. I just tell him to go sit on the step and chill, and let me know if he changes his mind. It happens about once every 2 weeks. Each and every time, the fit lasts about 2 minutes..then all the chatting and fun we are having makes him think twice,a nd he comes back like a little gentleman.
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registered 06:42 AM 07-10-2012
Thank you for yall! I am working on it.

I forgot to mention she does eat candy for breakfast daily. Every time she gets here with candy and I have to throw away almost everyday and she throws a fit. I Keep ignored her and offered her something else for breakfast. I asked her mother what does she do at home. She said she wouldn't eat lunch and she can get away from them whatever she wants.
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Heidi 11:52 AM 07-10-2012
Originally Posted by registered:
Thank you for yall! I am working on it.

I forgot to mention she does eat candy for breakfast daily. Every time she gets here with candy and I have to throw away almost everyday and she throws a fit. I Keep ignored her and offered her something else for breakfast. I asked her mother what does she do at home. She said she wouldn't eat lunch and she can get away from them whatever she wants.

"DCM...PLEASE DO NOT bring her in the door with candy again!"

use your words...registered!
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