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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What To Say Or Not To Say
hope 10:22 AM 11-14-2013
I have a dcm that over analyzes everything. She thinks that I am her therapist, pediatrician and daycare provider all rolled into one. Dcg has been tired and super cranky all week. Dcm says she is not sleeping well at night. Dcg spent the majority of today throwing fits and I can't seem to calm her down. This was not typical behavior for her but I see the attention mom gives her when she acts this way so I think that may have something to do with it. She cries and mom assumes she must be sick or fatally ill and Dcg gets lots of attention. If I inform mom of her behavior today she will stay for an exorbitant amount of time trying to figure out why when I really think it's bc of mom's behavior. Do I just say she had a good day and avoid the drama? This behavior has got to stop though so i feel i do need to address it so it doesn't become worse. How do i tell mom she is creating a monster?
Josiegirl 03:41 AM 11-15-2013
I might be wrong but I would tend to gloss over it, if there are no symptoms of illness. Usually by the time I've gotten myself and/or the dcps all worked up about something, it turns out to be just a phase and dck has passed through it while the rest of us are all still trying to wrestle in our minds 'what happened'.
Even as adults we can have good days, bad days, good weeks, bad weeks. Could be she's behind on quality sleep and needs the weekend to be home, sleep in, do nothing. (Oh wait, I'm talking about me)
If dck were to continue into next week, maybe check it out further.
Even as adults we can have good days, bad days, good weeks, bad weeks. Could be she's behind on quality sleep and needs the weekend to be home, sleep in, do nothing. (Oh wait, I'm talking about me)
If dck were to continue into next week, maybe check it out further.
hope 05:36 AM 11-15-2013
Normally with this mom I do gloss over things bc in the end everything works itself out n it saves me the trouble of listening to her worry over the smallest issue every day at pick up.
But....Dcg was dropped off at 7:30 today. She was weepy during breakfast n complete melt down ever since. I talked with her n gave lots of hugs n reassurance but she is a sad mess. I put her in for a nap hoping she needed a little extra sleep n she is hysterical crying for mommy. It is disruptive n I feel bad that she is so upset. I want to call for pick up but then mom will sit here wanting me to figure out why this is happening. I don't know why. And at this point I have dealt with it all week n I can not think straight anymore.
But....Dcg was dropped off at 7:30 today. She was weepy during breakfast n complete melt down ever since. I talked with her n gave lots of hugs n reassurance but she is a sad mess. I put her in for a nap hoping she needed a little extra sleep n she is hysterical crying for mommy. It is disruptive n I feel bad that she is so upset. I want to call for pick up but then mom will sit here wanting me to figure out why this is happening. I don't know why. And at this point I have dealt with it all week n I can not think straight anymore.
Cat Herder 07:17 AM 11-15-2013
Originally Posted by hope:
1. I have a dcm that over analyzes everything.
2. If I inform mom of her behavior today she will stay for an exorbitant amount of time trying to figure out why when I really think it's bc of mom's behavior.
3. How do i tell mom she is creating a monster?
1. I am very, very very familiar. 1. I have a dcm that over analyzes everything.
2. If I inform mom of her behavior today she will stay for an exorbitant amount of time trying to figure out why when I really think it's bc of mom's behavior.
3. How do i tell mom she is creating a monster?
2. Only inform her of new skills learned, illness and any negative behavior outside of the "age appropriate development spectrum". If it is age appropriate, it is handled by you, on your time.
3. Never even try.
This is a landmine and they will become a team against you instead. Ask anyone.... 
*** The more you go to mom with issues on your time, the less confidence she will have in you.
melilley 12:00 PM 11-15-2013
So true what Cat Herder said!
I have a dcp who takes what I say about her child, whether it be about his health, if he had a rough morning, etc... and twists it around and makes it into something it's not. I have learned to not tell her the little things because they turn into big issues.
Now I only tell her if something really major goes on.
I have a dcp who takes what I say about her child, whether it be about his health, if he had a rough morning, etc... and twists it around and makes it into something it's not. I have learned to not tell her the little things because they turn into big issues.
Now I only tell her if something really major goes on.
frugalmama4 12:17 PM 11-15-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:
So true what Cat Herder said!
I have a dcp who takes what I say about her child, whether it be about his health, if he had a rough morning, etc... and twists it around and makes it into something it's not. I have learned to not tell her the little things because they turn into big issues.
Now I only tell her if something really major goes on.
Ditto!!! So true what Cat Herder said!
I have a dcp who takes what I say about her child, whether it be about his health, if he had a rough morning, etc... and twists it around and makes it into something it's not. I have learned to not tell her the little things because they turn into big issues.
Now I only tell her if something really major goes on.
This is especially true for FIRST time mommy's.
daycare 02:17 PM 11-15-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
1. I am very, very very familiar.
2. Only inform her of new skills learned, illness and any negative behavior outside of the "age appropriate development spectrum". If it is age appropriate, it is handled by you, on your time.
3. Never even try. This is a landmine and they will become a team against you instead. Ask anyone....
*** The more you go to mom with issues on your time, the less confidence she will have in you.
THIS!!!1. I am very, very very familiar.
2. Only inform her of new skills learned, illness and any negative behavior outside of the "age appropriate development spectrum". If it is age appropriate, it is handled by you, on your time.
3. Never even try.
This is a landmine and they will become a team against you instead. Ask anyone.... *** The more you go to mom with issues on your time, the less confidence she will have in you.
I look at it like this.....I dont tell them everything that happens here good or bad. I do however always document really bad days and if I see a trend that they are becoming more and more, I will try to make changes here myself first before talking to the parents.
It is good to ask DCP at arrival how did she sleep last night, has she eaten anything yet this morning? If the parents are honest and tell you the truth, then you will usually be able to grasp from that the behavioral issues that day. YOu will know that she might need to go down for an earlier nap, or might need to eat a bigger breakfast.
I always ask, how is everyone today? Did DCK sleep well last night or was he a party animal? WHAT 11pm bed time, what time did he wake up, oh 730am. Enough said.
now I know this kid is going to go down for nap early.
One thing you will realize is that parents are ALWAYS going to do what works for them. YOu can tell them whatever you want, they will usually always see it as complaining.
If and when mom starts up her 21questions game about what could be wrong, you can just say gosh I wish I had the answers for you, perhaps you should call her DR. Hope you guys have a great night, see you tomorrow....