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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Ever Felt Like You're Being Recorded?
small_steps 10:21 AM 02-01-2013
I don't really have anything to hide except the fact that this is my home and I shouldn't feel like all my conversations are being listened to. I have a set of parents that I think may be recording me and my helper. I'm not sure how yet, but it's just too much of a coincidence that they come in and say something the day after my helper and I were just talking about it. Some are pretty silly and minor things but still I don't want to have an invasion of my privacy.

For instance: Daycare helper cleans my daycare parents house once a week...Helper was here yesterday and we were talking about how we wish they would put her hair up every day instead of just leaving it down. She's young and it gets in her face and it's always getting food in it. This morning...daycare mom comes in and says "I tried to put her hair up in a pony tail and a bow and she wouldn't have it! But at least I tried" Ok! We didn't say anything to them about it yesterday, not because I'm afraid to ask but because I didn't think of it again. So during our conversation, my helper said "I'm going to look for some ponytail holders tomorrow when I clean and I will put some in her cubby for us to use"....low and behold when she goes to clean there is a container full of ponytail holders on the dresser that hadn't been there before.

THis is about the 4th time something similar to this has happened. Some of its silly but and not a big deal but we are both having that feeling that we are being watched/recorded.

Tell me I'm being paranoid. lol
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CedarCreek 10:27 AM 02-01-2013
What all does the child bring into care? Could there be a recording device in her bag? You are probably being paranoid but I would still check her things after a lot of odd coincidences.
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jokalima 10:33 AM 02-01-2013
Move the bag to a different room during the day, put it back before parents come or just have a " spontaneous" conversation with your helper about how you feel this odd sensation of being recorded and that if that is the case you believe that is invasion to your privacy, that's what I would do, I will also be checking those diaper bags and coats.
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Lucy 10:41 AM 02-01-2013
Dont' take offense to this please. I do think you're being paranoid. Those two things could easily be a coincidence. An odd coincidence, yes... but still very likely a coincidence.

Or, maybe your helper is actually telling the parent of your conversations. Your helper wouldn't want you to KNOW that, so she's going along with your "recording" scenario. But maybe behind your back, she's talking to the parent and repeating things that you and the helper have discussed.

I don't know... I just think it would be hard to record. Any device would shut off after a certain amount of time. Whether the recording space filled up, or batteries ran out, or whatever. And the range... I would think you'd have to be within 10 feet or so for it to pick up your voices clearly enough to hear it. And even then, if she's hiding it in a diaper bag pocket or something, it would be a little garbled.

If it were me and I was really, really thinking I was being recorded, I would just thoroughly dig through EVERYTHING brought in. Including the kid!! Depending on the age of the kid, it wouldn't be hard to do. I suppose there's the possibility that she could've hidden a device in your home, but now we're being REALLY paranoid! That's James Bond territory!!!
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small_steps 10:46 AM 02-01-2013
The only thing they bring on a normal basis is a stuffed animal. I've checked it but without taking it apart, I can't find anything. There's a hard piece in the head but I think its the part that makes the animal rattle.

They live very close to me...maybe they have some high tech stuff pointed at my house lol.

I hate feeling that way. But even my helper feels it. The first time I mentioned it to her she said "Oh wow! I feel the same way!" .

We're both two pretty rational people and this is the only time I've ever suspected it.

Another time I said something about the way she was dressed (she is close to potty training and they put her in skirts and pants (leggings but they look like thin pants to me) and it's a lot for her to pull up and down. And the next morning the mom just out of the blue told me why she put the skirt and the pants on her.

Just things like that make me wonder..
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small_steps 10:49 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by Lucy:
Dont' take offense to this please. I do think you're being paranoid. Those two things could easily be a coincidence. An odd coincidence, yes... but still very likely a coincidence.

Or, maybe your helper is actually telling the parent of your conversations. Your helper wouldn't want you to KNOW that, so she's going along with your "recording" scenario. But maybe behind your back, she's talking to the parent and repeating things that you and the helper have discussed.

I don't know... I just think it would be hard to record. Any device would shut off after a certain amount of time. Whether the recording space filled up, or batteries ran out, or whatever. And the range... I would think you'd have to be within 10 feet or so for it to pick up your voices clearly enough to hear it. And even then, if she's hiding it in a diaper bag pocket or something, it would be a little garbled.

If it were me and I was really, really thinking I was being recorded, I would just thoroughly dig through EVERYTHING brought in. Including the kid!! Depending on the age of the kid, it wouldn't be hard to do. I suppose there's the possibility that she could've hidden a device in your home, but now we're being REALLY paranoid! That's James Bond territory!!!

I hope I am being paranoid! No offense taken.

I don't think my helper is talking to them behind my back because we've said some other things to each other that I think if she were telling them things she would have told them, and they would have been mad at me lol. Plus I've known her for many years and I feel like she is loyal to me.
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CedarCreek 11:07 AM 02-01-2013
How old is dck? Maybe she is telling her some things.
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crazydaycarelady 11:10 AM 02-01-2013
You probably ARE being paranoid but I would put any bags and stuffed animals in another room from now on.

It might be illegal to record someone unknowingly.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:15 AM 02-01-2013
I don't know if you're being paranoid ... out of all of the families I have NO family has ever said something that I was coincidentally talking about earlier unless it was something like, "I bet so-and-so goes to Taco Bell tonight since LO has been wanting tacos all day!" and as soon as they get here Dad says, "Let's go eat some mexican food!" Things that Dad could have EASILY picked up on at home with a kid talking about tacos constantly.

So, I think that's really bizarre and I would definitely not keep her belongings around where I could be heard. Or, I might say something kooky like, "Little girls need to only wear dresses when potty training" (some strong opinion) and see if Mom brings up only wearing dresses or something.
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small_steps 11:16 AM 02-01-2013
just turned 2
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SilverSabre25 11:19 AM 02-01-2013
I agree that it's probably paranoia but I'd be checking around just to be on the safe side. Too weird!
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Blackcat31 11:20 AM 02-01-2013
I don't necessarily think you are being paranoid and I do think it could all just be a freaky coincindence buuuuut, could you maybe have a really odd conversation with your helper about something and see if the parents bring it up?

You know kind of set them up to take the bait and then you'll know kind of thing.

Ugh, I would just feel so uncomfortable if I thought someone was secretly recording me. I don't think I have anythign to hide but I think that is besides the point.
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countrymom 11:25 AM 02-01-2013
hmm too much coincidence. I too had this weird feeling, it was so odd. It all started when they were bring in a stuffy. They said that she needed it here, but the weird thing was that this child never brought anything. Just as it appeared the stuffy dissapeared.
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small_steps 11:44 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't necessarily think you are being paranoid and I do think it could all just be a freaky coincindence buuuuut, could you maybe have a really odd conversation with your helper about something and see if the parents bring it up?

You know kind of set them up to take the bait and then you'll know kind of thing.

Ugh, I would just feel so uncomfortable if I thought someone was secretly recording me. I don't think I have anythign to hide but I think that is besides the point.
Thats exactly what we were thinking. We were thinking we'd come up with something to say to see if they would say anything about it. I will have to think of something this weekend to make mention of. Helper even is uncomfortable cleaning their house She made mention today that she was even worried about not ever using the rest room if she was over there and really needed to because she is afraid they are recording her lol.

Another thing is they have been doing some get togethers once a week. Helper and I were both invited but I chose not to go. Kids got flu and I said, I can't believe they haven't cancelled it because of the kids being sick with flu. Hope no one else gets it. later that day we get a text that because they didnt' want to spread the virus the plans had been cancelled. Isn't that so strange? I've felt this way for months and have forgotten a lot of the reasons I've considered it but I think I'm going to make a little log for myself so I will remember each incident.
Plus side to everything is I guess I'm doing something right because I've had the kids over a year and they continue to bring them so if I'm being recorded they must not have any problems with the quality of care.
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rmc20021 11:47 AM 02-01-2013
I believe it's too much of a coincidence...
I'm also a licensed foster parent and I know of another foster parent who sent a recording device along in the child's diaper bag for visits with the birth parents. They hid it so it couldn't be found and was still able to hear what was said...so it CAN be done.
With that being said...if she had been caught doing this, it would have meant a world of trouble for her from the foster care stand point.
I don't know if there are any rules or laws pertaining to childcare.
I would just go about my daily business and make sure you don't say anything in the future regarding personal things about a child...something that should be done at home etc. If you have nothing to hide, then there's no reason to put the bags into another room and the parents will figure out if there are no recordings that the bags are moved out of range and then they will really wonder what's going on.
I'm sure after they feel comfortable in knowing their child is in safe hands they will discontinue the recordings, if that's what's going on.
It won't change the fact you feel invaded, but it will prove you have nothing to hide if they can actually hear what's going on and discover there's nothing to worry about.
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nannyde 11:55 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by small_steps:
We were thinking we'd come up with something to say to see if they would say anything about it.
I would start talking about your new customer loyalty free month of day care prize that you are going to give to the most awesome parents who follow all of your policies. I would talk about the other day care parents and how they appreciated it SO much and how you think this month it should be them. Talk about how you can't WAIT to see their face when you give them the free month certificate. Really cheese it up.... how excited they are going to be and how they really deserve it.

Talk about that when your staff is NOT at your house and don't tell her about it. If they don't bite then a couple of weeks from now tell her.

Sit back and see what happens. There IS a chance that your helper is a spy for the other side.

Have they donated anything to your house?
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small_steps 12:01 PM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I would start talking about your new customer loyalty free month of day care prize that you are going to give to the most awesome parents who follow all of your policies. I would talk about the other day care parents and how they appreciated it SO much and how you think this month it should be them. Talk about how you can't WAIT to see their face when you give them the free month certificate. Really cheese it up.... how excited they are going to be and how they really deserve it.

Talk about that when your staff is NOT at your house and don't tell her about it. If they don't bite then a couple of weeks from now tell her.

Sit back and see what happens. There IS a chance that your helper is a spy for the other side.

Have they donated anything to your house?
LMBO! I love it. Great Idea! I can't think of anything that they have donated right off hand but will try to remember for sure.
I'd much rather it be sound if it's anything because there are many a nights I walk around in my gown throughout my house. Really uncomfortable to think someone would be watching that.
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CedarCreek 12:09 PM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by small_steps:
LMBO! I love it. Great Idea! I can't think of anything that they have donated right off hand but will try to remember for sure.
I'd much rather it be sound if it's anything because there are many a nights I walk around in my gown throughout my house. Really uncomfortable to think someone would be watching that.
That would scare me too! On the weekends if someone comes unannounced to my house there is an 80% chance that i'm half dressed.

Would hate for dcps to be subjected to that!
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LK5kids 12:09 PM 02-01-2013
Thank sounds weird and icky! I would wonder the same thing! I would make up something too and see if they take the bait. If they are trying to be sneaky they are not very good at it, and are letting the cat out of the bag!

One should ALWAYS trust " gut" feelings. In more serious situations it can save your life!
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nanglgrl 12:16 PM 02-01-2013
I'm not saying that you're paranoid or that they're not recording you because anything is possible. It could be though that you are sending out subtle hints to annoyances and she is very good at picking up on them. Maybe it's just brushing the child's hair away from their face one too many times..etc. I know that I put out strong "vibes" and I also am very good at picking up on other people's "vibes".
My hubby claims he can never lie to me because I always know...I do though. It drives my kids nuts.
I'm not psychic but weird things happen to me all of the time and it can be down right odd at times even to me. I sure hope no one thinks I'm recording them! I could tell you a hundred different instances but here is the one that happened last night:
There is a lady I see a couple times of week at the gym. We have causal conversation here and there but mostly we just greet each other. Last night I was working out on weights and she was walking by and we did our regular greeting. Then for some odd reason I asked her if she had ever heard of the 3 day diet...she had and she had just finished her third day and told me about the experience. She had just heard of it a few days before and decided to try it. I had read about it a few days before and was doing some research. This example is one of the least creepy ones.
The creepiest one was when I was a teenager. There was a story on the news about a lady who had been carjacked and her two children were in the car. She was on the news pleading for their safe return. Without thinking I said "those babies are in their car seats in the lake". My parents, boyfriend and sister looked at me like I was crazy and we all shrugged it off. It was strange. It wasn't something I thought about saying, it just came out. About a week later my sister came in my room in the morning crying...it was just on the news that the mom had strapped the kids into their car seats and let the car roll into a lake. There was one other odd one like that when I thought someone had thrown their baby out a car window and it came to light that was actually what had happened but I don't remember it as clearly as the other one and these were the only ones that were down right creepy.
Sometimes I think it has to do with some energy we all put out and how some people feel it more or something. I have no idea and have never researched it but it seems right to me.
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e.j. 12:32 PM 02-01-2013
By any chance do you both (you and the dc parents) have baby monitors that are left on all day? I had the feeling that one of my dc families (people who lived in the neighborhood) were somehow listening to my conversations, because they always seemed to know things they shouldn't necessarily know. I mentioned my feelings once to another dc provider I knew. At first she though I was being paranoid, too, but then she told me that one night, she and her husband were in bed when all of a sudden, they could hear a neighbor talking. She said it sounded as though the neighbor was right in the room with them. It took a few minutes but they realized her voice was coming from the baby monitor. Both families had young kids and used monitors at night. For some reason, my friend could hear the neighbor talking but the neighbor never heard my friend. This same friend also told me that cordless phones could present the same problem.

Just to test the theory, I had a conversation with my friend over my cordless phone and mentioned how frustrating it was when dc parents went home to change after work before picking up their kids, making them late. Sure enough, the next day, dcm picked up her child and the first thing out of her mouth was, "Do you mind that I go home and change before picking *** up?"
After that, I made sure I used my corded phone for any personal conversations I needed to have with anyone.
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nanglgrl 12:45 PM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by e.j.:
By any chance do you both (you and the dc parents) have baby monitors that are left on all day? I had the feeling that one of my dc families (people who lived in the neighborhood) were somehow listening to my conversations, because they always seemed to know things they shouldn't necessarily know. I mentioned my feelings once to another dc provider I knew. At first she though I was being paranoid, too, but then she told me that one night, she and her husband were in bed when all of a sudden, they could hear a neighbor talking. She said it sounded as though the neighbor was right in the room with them. It took a few minutes but they realized her voice was coming from the baby monitor. Both families had young kids and used monitors at night. For some reason, my friend could hear the neighbor talking but the neighbor never heard my friend. This same friend also told me that cordless phones could present the same problem.
This is definitely another possibility. We've lived in this house for 4 years and recently remodeled our basement for the daycare. I had a video baby monitor that I'd never used here because I didn't need it. After the remodel I had to come to the top of the stairs to the kitchen to make lunch and I could hear the kids but not see them so I set it up. I left it on throughout the day as I forgot about it. I was looking at it later that night and noticed when we used the microwave it went fuzzy so I switched the channels. Imagine my surprise when I got a clear view of one child in a crib on one channel and on another a child in a bed! It took me a second but I realized that it was my neighbors from across the street. There is a ton of space between our homes and they should have been way out of range of each other. Through no fault of my own I felt like a creep and even though I was friends with this neighbor it was the most awkward conversation I've ever had.
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spud912 01:00 PM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
This is definitely another possibility. We've lived in this house for 4 years and recently remodeled our basement for the daycare. I had a video baby monitor that I'd never used here because I didn't need it. After the remodel I had to come to the top of the stairs to the kitchen to make lunch and I could hear the kids but not see them so I set it up. I left it on throughout the day as I forgot about it. I was looking at it later that night and noticed when we used the microwave it went fuzzy so I switched the channels. Imagine my surprise when I got a clear view of one child in a crib on one channel and on another a child in a bed! It took me a second but I realized that it was my neighbors from across the street. There is a ton of space between our homes and they should have been way out of range of each other. Through no fault of my own I felt like a creep and even though I was friends with this neighbor it was the most awkward conversation I've ever had.
I've always heard that about those baby monitors! Creepy recording devices
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Unregistered 02:40 PM 02-01-2013
I was thinking baby monitor too. In my old home I ended up getting a new monitor after I found out two of my daycare families could listen in and I usually just left it on. I always left it on setting 'a', but I guess if I switched to setting 'b' I would have been able to hear into their homes. A bit wierd finding out about a few years in & then mentioning it to another client who told me that she could hear me too if she put hers on setting 'a'. Awkward.
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Lucy 03:10 PM 02-01-2013
A little note about baby monitors... my husband has a police scanner from when he used to be a volunteer fire fighter. One night we heard someone having sex. It was transmitted over their monitor.
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MyAngels 03:21 PM 02-01-2013
I don't think you're being paranoid to think you might be recorded. With technology the way it is today there are a lot of ways this could happen. The baby monitors, definitely, but what about the spyware that can be used to turn on your laptop webcam? I'm sure there are many other ways, too, not just a hidden recording device.

I'd think of two different scenarios that you could discuss that these parents might pick up on, then discuss one while your assistant is not there and one while he/she is there. If the parent picks up on only on the one discussed with your assistant you can surmise that the assistant is talking out of school. If they pick up on both or only the first one you might have to investigate further how they might be listening in.

I wouldn't care whether I had anything to "hide" or not, the very fact that someone would purposely violate my privacy would be enough for me to do something about it.
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