Daycare.com Forum Kidacare by Minute Menu Force of Nature Disinfectant HiMama Childcare App

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-28-2016, 01:00 PM
ChelseaB's Avatar
ChelseaB ChelseaB is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 226
Default I Am SHOCKED....

I honestly cannot believe what I just read. The Daycare Forum has been one of the most helpful, enlightening forums I have ever been blessed to be a part of. However, today, I thought it would be wise to venture out into another website, a parenting forum with daycare related topics. I thought this might help me find out some inner quirks and truths with parents and help me to help them more. I was so....shocked and appalled, basically, at what I read.

How these parents truly feel about us, their exact thoughts and opinions. Now granted, I understand that this is only coming from a few, not the majority. But the fact that this is MY business rings true to me. Yet, these parents continually instilled the fact that it was a service that they were paying for; this was their child; therefore, they are the boss. Their disregard for us and our livelihood was despicable. In short, we overcharge and take way too much time off. We should be available to their every beck and call. They absolutely have the right to govern our business.

Those licensing rules and regulations that so many are obligated to abide by? We are uptight and none of that should matter. Their child is special, and how they want things done is how it is to be. To hell with anything else. That food program that so many utilize? It is simply a means of manipulating more money, apparently. When we don't allow outside meals or anything that requires additional work and effort -- we are "lazy". Our contracts and fees are the only thing we care about.

In-home vs centers -- the majority absolutely dragged in-homes through the dirt. Yeah -- they honestly believe we sit at home, on our couches, eating bon bons, and watching tv. Not the point that there are good and bad with both. We do NOT educate, as we are apparently uneducated ourselves. Our forum does its best to all work together to lift one another up and promote each other as best as we can!! And apparently, Nannyde is a popular name to throw around there -- I saw her name brought up a bit whenever these parents were scoffing at all of us.

These parents weren't even supporting each other!!! I guess that should have spoken more clearly than anything else. The finger pointing, name calling, and judgement.....it was UNREAL. I just wanted to be like "are you f***ing kidding me?"

We may have our moments, but dang, I love you guys! Thank you for being a GREAT forum....not like this other trash I offended my eyes with!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-28-2016, 01:16 PM
Play Care's Avatar
Play Care Play Care is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 6,609
Default



When I first had oldest DD I was on a wedding forum turned parenting forum. Once I made the decision to "babysit" the chill became palpable. It was disheartening to say the least.
I try to rembering that most people IRL don't feel this way, and forums can be a special kind of he!!.

I found my first DC forum around that time and it really saved my sanity.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-28-2016, 01:22 PM
ChelseaB's Avatar
ChelseaB ChelseaB is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 226
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Play Care View Post


When I first had oldest DD I was on a wedding forum turned parenting forum. Once I made the decision to "babysit" the chill became palpable. It was disheartening to say the least.
I try to rembering that most people IRL don't feel this way, and forums can be a special kind of he!!.

I found my first DC forum around that time and it really saved my sanity.
Very true!!

I forgot to mention how we "make bank" because the parents have "done the math".
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-28-2016, 01:22 PM
Cat Herder's Avatar
Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,570
Default

Eh, in one ear and out the other, so to speak.

My guess is most only seek out such a forum on their worst day, so I'd expect it to be full of vent and vile. We do the same thing in our vent threads....

Eventually, as they learn what is normal from one another, they begin to see the rules, reg and routines as less of an affront to their egos and snowflakes.

I was a horrible PITA mom, cough-control freak-cough, that is why I opened my own daycare instead of tearing someone else's down.
__________________
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-28-2016, 01:23 PM
mommyneedsadayoff's Avatar
mommyneedsadayoff mommyneedsadayoff is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChelseaB View Post
I honestly cannot believe what I just read. The Daycare Forum has been one of the most helpful, enlightening forums I have ever been blessed to be a part of. However, today, I thought it would be wise to venture out into another website, a parenting forum with daycare related topics. I thought this might help me find out some inner quirks and truths with parents and help me to help them more. I was so....shocked and appalled, basically, at what I read.

How these parents truly feel about us, their exact thoughts and opinions. Now granted, I understand that this is only coming from a few, not the majority. But the fact that this is MY business rings true to me. Yet, these parents continually instilled the fact that it was a service that they were paying for; this was their child; therefore, they are the boss. Their disregard for us and our livelihood was despicable. In short, we overcharge and take way too much time off. We should be available to their every beck and call. They absolutely have the right to govern our business.

Those licensing rules and regulations that so many are obligated to abide by? We are uptight and none of that should matter. Their child is special, and how they want things done is how it is to be. To hell with anything else. That food program that so many utilize? It is simply a means of manipulating more money, apparently. When we don't allow outside meals or anything that requires additional work and effort -- we are "lazy". Our contracts and fees are the only thing we care about.

In-home vs centers -- the majority absolutely dragged in-homes through the dirt. Yeah -- they honestly believe we sit at home, on our couches, eating bon bons, and watching tv. Not the point that there are good and bad with both. We do NOT educate, as we are apparently uneducated ourselves. Our forum does its best to all work together to lift one another up and promote each other as best as we can!! And apparently, Nannyde is a popular name to throw around there -- I saw her name brought up a bit whenever these parents were scoffing at all of us.

These parents weren't even supporting each other!!! I guess that should have spoken more clearly than anything else. The finger pointing, name calling, and judgement.....it was UNREAL. I just wanted to be like "are you f***ing kidding me?"

We may have our moments, but dang, I love you guys! Thank you for being a GREAT forum....not like this other trash I offended my eyes with!
Nannyde gets crap because she speaks the truth and doesn't sugar coat it. Doesn't seem to be hurting her income though, right? Some parents just hate the lack of control over their child when they have them in daycare. They use the internet as an outlet to vent that frustration. I hate when people talk bad about me, but at the same time, they have no idea what my job entails, because they have never done it, so all they can see is that when they drop their kid off, I make the rules, and that bugs a lot of parents. And it is an easy fix...stay home with your kid! But, they would rather b!tch about it and say we are the bad guy I use to get mad at that, but this forum has really helped me to feel not alone. And Nannyde and NUMEROUS other posters on this board have been vital and integral to coming to that realization!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-28-2016, 01:29 PM
ChelseaB's Avatar
ChelseaB ChelseaB is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 226
Default

Thanks for the input everyone, you are all SO right! I normally don't take stuff like this to heart, but I suppose today I am feeling a bit more wishy-washy! lol

I do believe that venting sometimes brings out the worst in a lot of people and things periodically, but I so felt like it was about EVERYTHING. Even the seemingly harmless topics escalated so quickly. Ridiculous. I know we talk about this stuff daily, but then to actually have what we already know validated -- it was like an "a-ha!" Moment
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-28-2016, 01:58 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChelseaB View Post
Thanks for the input everyone, you are all SO right! I normally don't take stuff like this to heart, but I suppose today I am feeling a bit more wishy-washy! lol

I do believe that venting sometimes brings out the worst in a lot of people and things periodically, but I so felt like it was about EVERYTHING. Even the seemingly harmless topics escalated so quickly. Ridiculous. I know we talk about this stuff daily, but then to actually have what we already know validated -- it was like an "a-ha!" Moment
Seems kind of ironic to me that all these hen-pecking parents that are bitching about daycares and how those daycares do or don't do things haven't figured out the ONE answer that will easily solve ALL those issues.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-28-2016, 02:40 PM
lovemydaycare0912's Avatar
lovemydaycare0912 lovemydaycare0912 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 782
Default

I too am so thankful to have found this forum. I am literally on it whenever I can be just to learn more and try to give advice where I can. I am a newbie, 11 months in, but I love owning my daycare and where I am going to go with it. So thank you to all!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-28-2016, 04:34 PM
Rockgirl's Avatar
Rockgirl Rockgirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,016
Default

It seems some of them are shocked to find this board, too! There have certainly been some threads on here from parents "calling us out". Lol!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-28-2016, 05:05 PM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,294
Default

I keep hearing about being thrashed on parenting forums but I can never find them ;-)
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 01-28-2016, 05:07 PM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,294
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Seems kind of ironic to me that all these hen-pecking parents that are bitching about daycares and how those daycares do or don't do things haven't figured out the ONE answer that will easily solve ALL those issues.
Well two..

Stay home with your kid OR
BE the daycare provider of your dreams... or rather your fantasy
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 01-28-2016, 06:04 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Well two..

Stay home with your kid OR
BE the daycare provider of your dreams... or rather your fantasy
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 01-28-2016, 06:54 PM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 8,167
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Well two..

Stay home with your kid OR
BE the daycare provider of your dreams... or rather your fantasy
YES! Do I feel bad for all the bitching I do on here? Hellz to the no!

I was also on a "parenting" forum...or as I like to call it "lets get together and congratulate eachother on how little time we spend with our kids but still claim to be experts" forum
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 01-28-2016, 08:50 PM
SnowGirl's Avatar
SnowGirl SnowGirl is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 123
Default

I don't know if any of you watch Downton Abbey, but I read the title of this post, read the contents, and in Mary Crawley's voice think "Really? It takes a lot more than that to shock me."

Moms on the internet are brutal. BRUTAL. They're so mean to each other, to everyone in the world. I'm a mom myself to a young toddler, and I have had to unfollow all parenting-related Facebook pages and blogs because it's just way too negative. Just remember how very new to parenting these women are...and how very vulnerable and judged they all feel (even if they're contributing to the judgment).

We all most likely have mostly wonderful families who love us and the role we play in their child's life. At least I work very hard to vet the families I allow into my home and ensure that we have a respectful understanding!
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 01-29-2016, 04:17 AM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,154
Default

Ok, we all need to show up there you know. Quiet them right down.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 01-29-2016, 04:26 AM
Play Care's Avatar
Play Care Play Care is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 6,609
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SnowGirl View Post
Moms on the internet are brutal. BRUTAL. They're so mean to each other, to everyone in the world. I'm a mom myself to a young toddler, and I have had to unfollow all parenting-related Facebook pages and blogs because it's just way too negative. Just remember how very new to parenting these women are...and how very vulnerable and judged they all feel (even if they're contributing to the judgment).

We all most likely have mostly wonderful families who love us and the role we play in their child's life. At least I work very hard to vet the families I allow into my home and ensure that we have a respectful understanding!


I think the fact people *think* they are anonymous on the 'net tends to turn them into keyboard warriors. Because when I am with moms IRL, I never get that sense.
I mean, can you imagine most of your clients telling you that you work for them?!
And it brings home for me anyway, that spending time online should be reduced. I get it's a lifeline for a lot of people, but I've realized lately what a miserable cow I've been and I know my online time has increased this winter And in it's place, maybe cementing some real life friendships and lifelines.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 01-29-2016, 05:00 AM
DaveA's Avatar
DaveA DaveA is online now
Daycare.com Member and Bladesmith
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,899
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Play Care View Post


I think the fact people *think* they are anonymous on the 'net tends to turn them into keyboard warriors. Because when I am with moms IRL, I never get that sense. .
Very true, although I think it's part anonymity and part "group cover"- people think they can blend in and say soo much more in a bunch than 1on1. I had to change my group's library day because there is a mom's group that went the morning we did. Jeez those women were negative and grouchy about EVERYTHING.

As for the parenting groups, I don't think I've ever been on one. Somehow I don't think I'd blend in.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 01-29-2016, 07:23 AM
Mad_Pistachio's Avatar
Mad_Pistachio Mad_Pistachio is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 619
Default

so, they trash the providers, but won't stay home with their children. that makes perfect sense, uh-huh...

a little off-topic, but I'll go on to explain.
my husband works about 60 miles away from home. it just so happened this way, he works there for 10+ year, it's a cushy job, and all... fine.
for the first 2 years of our daugther's life, I stayed with her (or she came to work with me - I had this luxury). so, my husband had this habit of calling me in the middle of the nap time and telling me... things I should do. what to feed her, how to dress her, where to go to play, and so on. at some point (about 1.5 years into all this), I just said, "listen, here is the thing: either you stay with her and do as you please, or I stay and I do as I please, but you have really got to stop calling from 60 miles away and telling me how I should run the house." in other words, either stay home and do what you think is right, or shut the efff up. (he started doing it again just recently, but now I nod, smile, and do what I want.)
what these parents are doing is kind of what my husband used to do: they won't stay home with children (reasons here are irrelevant; I know people need to work), but they try to pull all the strings while being away from them.

I actually, too, thought that providers were overcharging... until I went to school to study ECE and realized just how much money is poured into running a business like this. it did take some inside work to understand. parents just normally don't see this.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 01-29-2016, 08:15 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

...everyone wants to drive the bus but no one wants to maintain it, clean it or supervise the riders...
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 01-29-2016, 08:15 AM
spedmommy4's Avatar
spedmommy4 spedmommy4 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Oregon
Posts: 933
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad_Pistachio View Post
so, they trash the providers, but won't stay home with their children. that makes perfect sense, uh-huh...

a little off-topic, but I'll go on to explain.
my husband works about 60 miles away from home. it just so happened this way, he works there for 10+ year, it's a cushy job, and all... fine.
for the first 2 years of our daugther's life, I stayed with her (or she came to work with me - I had this luxury). so, my husband had this habit of calling me in the middle of the nap time and telling me... things I should do. what to feed her, how to dress her, where to go to play, and so on. at some point (about 1.5 years into all this), I just said, "listen, here is the thing: either you stay with her and do as you please, or I stay and I do as I please, but you have really got to stop calling from 60 miles away and telling me how I should run the house." in other words, either stay home and do what you think is right, or shut the efff up. (he started doing it again just recently, but now I nod, smile, and do what I want.)
what these parents are doing is kind of what my husband used to do: they won't stay home with children (reasons here are irrelevant; I know people need to work), but they try to pull all the strings while being away from them.

I actually, too, thought that providers were overcharging... until I went to school to study ECE and realized just how much money is poured into running a business like this. it did take some inside work to understand. parents just normally don't see this.
I can't speak to what the typical parent sees in a home childcare program but on the subject of cost, I don't think most parents get it until they start seeing the true costs of what we purchase for our programs.

For example, I have two classroom sets of Magnatiles. ($120ish a set purchased with a grant last year) They are the most popular toy in my block area and several kids have asked for a set at home. 4 parents went out to buy them and were shocked at the cost. All 4 have since commented to me that they had no idea how I purchase such amazing learning materials, keep costs so reasonable, and still make a profit.

If you have never looked at a Lakeshore catalog, you just can't understand.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 01-29-2016, 08:35 AM
Mad_Pistachio's Avatar
Mad_Pistachio Mad_Pistachio is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 619
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by spedmommy4 View Post
I can't speak to what the typical parent sees in a home childcare program but on the subject of cost, I don't think most parents get it until they start seeing the true costs of what we purchase for our programs.

For example, I have two classroom sets of Magnatiles. ($120ish a set purchased with a grant last year) They are the most popular toy in my block area and several kids have asked for a set at home. 4 parents went out to buy them and were shocked at the cost. All 4 have since commented to me that they had no idea how I purchase such amazing learning materials, keep costs so reasonable, and still make a profit.

If you have never looked at a Lakeshore catalog, you just can't understand.
we have the business administration class in the IECE department. I am scared to take it not just because I totally stink at numbers, but because I may find out what our DC director gets out of her daycare... if anything.
I've done quite a few observations at our daycare (for school), and I even tried to jot down approximately how much the parents may pay in a year and then subtract the staff salaries, building maintenance, utilities, toys/books, food, taxes... the list goes on and on. I'm surprised she makes an income, and not so surprised that her husband is a breadwinner.
but then again, it did take some inside look to realize all that. not that I'm making excuses for the mothers trashing DCPs, just trying to see it from the side I saw it from at first.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 01-29-2016, 08:42 AM
Hunni Bee's Avatar
Hunni Bee Hunni Bee is online now
False Sense Of Authority
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Over the Rainbow...
Posts: 2,300
Default

Well, I don't know if you all have read the thread on the Parents forum here, titled "It Seems You All Think Parents are Pain in the Backside". http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=77596

It looks like a few parents feel the same way when they come here and read our posts. WE know that we are just venting because this is our safe place and that it just isn't realistic to come on here and talk about how all the parents poop rainbows and glitter.

I haven't read any of the forums you all are talking about, but maybe it's the same types of situation?
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 01-29-2016, 09:23 AM
ChelseaB's Avatar
ChelseaB ChelseaB is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 226
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee View Post
Well, I don't know if you all have read the thread on the Parents forum here, titled "It Seems You All Think Parents are Pain in the Backside". http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=77596

It looks like a few parents feel the same way when they come here and read our posts. WE know that we are just venting because this is our safe place and that it just isn't realistic to come on here and talk about how all the parents poop rainbows and glitter.

I haven't read any of the forums you all are talking about, but maybe it's the same types of situation?
I agree 100% Hunni Bee, that's what I figured I would find -- an outlet where parents could express their frustrations but find either useful info to help them better understand or at least other sympathetic parents. That was not my observation, however. In general, a few convos went along these lines:
"My daycare provider is completely <<insert complaint>>. They are overcharging me when they don't even have an education. They insist on being called "school" when the provider themselves can't even spell. They are trying to tell me how to raise MY child!"
Okay, this was the info I was looking for -- this is what I wanted to learn from, so that I can provide better learning avenues for families. I don't want them to feel so frustrated and put out. It was more or less the following statements that left me :
"Your child, your choice -- it doesn't matter what the provider says, you do what you want."
"They are making bank! You aren't hurting them any by doing such and such! That's what they get paid for -- control your provider!"
"Give your provider as hard a time as you want -- after all, that's what they get paid for! You have a real job, and the provider needs to understand that you take priority or should make exceptions blah blah blah"
......umm wow. This doesn't include the judge mental parents condescending remarks in general....basically, change something or quit bitching. You are stupid for thinking this way. You are a terrible mom for that. Just on and on.

My point being was that our forum is generally supportive of one another...yes, we vent, but I don't think I've hardly seen any of us throwing anyone under the bus. Merely empathizing, offering suggestions, and such. That was the surprise, above anything else.

I will have to see if I can pull some of what I read for you guys! It is a totally different tone that what I read on our forum.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:07 AM
rosieteddy's Avatar
rosieteddy rosieteddy is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,075
Default

When I had my Heart Attack the parents got together and decided all the kids would go to one house and they would hire a nanny.The first call came to the hospital"we didn't know how hard this was"what will they eat ,will you tell us your schedule for the day how can we get them all to sleep at the same time?It was eye opening for them.Not only that but they had to pay the nanny individually under the table more than I charged per week . I ended up closing for medical reasons every parent apologized for not realizing what I had offered price,stability and the personal care of one provider really caring about their individual families.Sometimes they do not know what they have until they don't.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:19 AM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default

It isn't just parent boards. On the message board I used to moderate on it was the same thing. Eventually the bullies ran off most of the posters on the board and one even posted this "Wow we got all the others to leave now it is just our nice little group, I love this". Needless to say the board was soon closed down. After all, it is diversity that makes a board like this work. If we were all the same, what would we accomplish? But it does seem like the internet feeds into the bully mentality. People will sit behind a keyboard and and type things that they would never say in front of people, I think that is because the people that do it don't really want others to see them for what they are. Behind the keyboard they can be mostly anonymous.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:23 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChelseaB View Post
I agree 100% Hunni Bee, that's what I figured I would find -- an outlet where parents could express their frustrations but find either useful info to help them better understand or at least other sympathetic parents. That was not my observation, however. In general, a few convos went along these lines:
"My daycare provider is completely <<insert complaint>>. They are overcharging me when they don't even have an education. They insist on being called "school" when the provider themselves can't even spell. They are trying to tell me how to raise MY child!"
Okay, this was the info I was looking for -- this is what I wanted to learn from, so that I can provide better learning avenues for families. I don't want them to feel so frustrated and put out. It was more or less the following statements that left me :
"Your child, your choice -- it doesn't matter what the provider says, you do what you want."
"They are making bank! You aren't hurting them any by doing such and such! That's what they get paid for -- control your provider!"
"Give your provider as hard a time as you want -- after all, that's what they get paid for! You have a real job, and the provider needs to understand that you take priority or should make exceptions blah blah blah"
......umm wow. This doesn't include the judge mental parents condescending remarks in general....basically, change something or quit bitching. You are stupid for thinking this way. You are a terrible mom for that. Just on and on.

My point being was that our forum is generally supportive of one another...yes, we vent, but I don't think I've hardly seen any of us throwing anyone under the bus. Merely empathizing, offering suggestions, and such. That was the surprise, above anything else.

I will have to see if I can pull some of what I read for you guys! It is a totally different tone that what I read on our forum.
I disagree that it's a totally different tone. I think they say pretty much the same things said here on this board or any provider forum group. Each sharing from their perspective.


My daycare provider is completely <<insert complaint>>.
MY daycare parent(s) is/are <<insert complaint>>>
They are overcharging me when they don't even have an education.
They said they couldnt afford X but went to a concert last night or on a trip to... this is their first kid so I highly doubt they know what they are doing.
They insist on being called "school" when the provider themselves can't even spell.
The parents are pulling to go to "real preschool" or "check out this horrible craig's list ad
They are trying to tell me how to raise MY child
My house MY rules or how can I hint around at getting parents to follow my polices as I am not confrontational
"Your child, your choice -- it doesn't matter what the provider says, you do what you want."
My house MY rules. Just do it anyways no matter what the parent says
"They are making bank! You aren't hurting them any by doing such and such! That's what they get paid for -- control your provider!"
I waive late fees and don't enforce policies because I am afraid to lose income or take control of my business. You aren't the boss of me. Who cares what the parent says, do it anyways...MY house MY rules
"Give your provider as hard a time as you want -- after all, that's what they get paid for!
Tell Johnny's mom you wont give him a nap or you'll wake him after an hour but nap him anyways and just lie to the parent
You have a real job, and the provider needs to understand that you take priority or should make exceptions blah blah blah"
My house MY rules. MY kids live here, they can have special any time they want. Parents wont take me professionally (yet provider answers door in pj pants and looking as if they just rolled out of bed)

Last edited by Blackcat31; 01-29-2016 at 10:26 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:27 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

For years I kept a file on my computer titled" Outrageous things dcp have said to me." It was great for stress relief. Sometimes I read it now for laughs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChelseaB View Post
I agree 100% Hunni Bee, that's what I figured I would find -- an outlet where parents could express their frustrations but find either useful info to help them better understand or at least other sympathetic parents. That was not my observation, however. In general, a few convos went along these lines:
"My daycare provider is completely <<insert complaint>>. They are overcharging me when they don't even have an education. They insist on being called "school" when the provider themselves can't even spell. They are trying to tell me how to raise MY child!"
Okay, this was the info I was looking for -- this is what I wanted to learn from, so that I can provide better learning avenues for families. I don't want them to feel so frustrated and put out. It was more or less the following statements that left me :
"Your child, your choice -- it doesn't matter what the provider says, you do what you want."
"They are making bank! You aren't hurting them any by doing such and such! That's what they get paid for -- control your provider!"
"Give your provider as hard a time as you want -- after all, that's what they get paid for! You have a real job, and the provider needs to understand that you take priority or should make exceptions blah blah blah"
......umm wow. This doesn't include the judge mental parents condescending remarks in general....basically, change something or quit bitching. You are stupid for thinking this way. You are a terrible mom for that. Just on and on.

My point being was that our forum is generally supportive of one another...yes, we vent, but I don't think I've hardly seen any of us throwing anyone under the bus. Merely empathizing, offering suggestions, and such. That was the surprise, above anything else.

I will have to see if I can pull some of what I read for you guys! It is a totally different tone that what I read on our forum.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:53 AM
ChelseaB's Avatar
ChelseaB ChelseaB is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 226
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I disagree that it's a totally different tone. I think they say pretty much the same things said here on this board or any provider forum group. Each sharing from their perspective.


My daycare provider is completely <<insert complaint>>.
MY daycare parent(s) is/are <<insert complaint>>>
They are overcharging me when they don't even have an education.
They said they couldnt afford X but went to a concert last night or on a trip to... this is their first kid so I highly doubt they know what they are doing.
They insist on being called "school" when the provider themselves can't even spell.
The parents are pulling to go to "real preschool" or "check out this horrible craig's list ad
They are trying to tell me how to raise MY child
My house MY rules or how can I hint around at getting parents to follow my polices as I am not confrontational
"Your child, your choice -- it doesn't matter what the provider says, you do what you want."
My house MY rules. Just do it anyways no matter what the parent says
"They are making bank! You aren't hurting them any by doing such and such! That's what they get paid for -- control your provider!"
I waive late fees and don't enforce policies because I am afraid to lose income or take control of my business. You aren't the boss of me. Who cares what the parent says, do it anyways...MY house MY rules
"Give your provider as hard a time as you want -- after all, that's what they get paid for!
Tell Johnny's mom you wont give him a nap or you'll wake him after an hour but nap him anyways and just lie to the parent
You have a real job, and the provider needs to understand that you take priority or should make exceptions blah blah blah"
My house MY rules. MY kids live here, they can have special any time they want. Parents wont take me professionally (yet provider answers door in pj pants and looking as if they just rolled out of bed)
I had to take a moment to decide how I wanted to respond to your post because you're absolutely right with everything you've said. I suppose I've somewhat wandered away from my original topic; but in the end, everything you wrote are just the things that I want to learn more about from a parents' perspective. These are the very things that I want to avoid. I want to maintain a more open line of communication and respect for one another. Of course, no one is perfect. But I don't see nearly the name calling and bashing here that I do elsewhere, in short. But thank you for your input!

Oh, and for the record -- I am one of those in-home providers who wears comfy clothes (I wouldn't say they're pj's, but they're not dressy lol) and my hair up on my head. I always dress professionally for interviews, but I make a point of stating that most days, I will be wearing old clothes etc because I enjoy getting on the floor and playing, plus all of the messes I encounter on a daily basis. I don't have many nice clothes, and frankly, they're not comfortable for me to move around a lot in
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:57 AM
Cat Herder's Avatar
Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11,570
Default

I agree with BlackCat's last post.

And I know for a fact I have said something along the lines of change something or stop b!tching about it a few hundred times.

In fact, I believe that was Michael's very first post to me, ever. I think it was in like 2008?
__________________
- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 01-29-2016, 10:59 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChelseaB View Post
Oh, and for the record -- I am one of those in-home providers who wears comfy clothes (I wouldn't say they're pj's, but they're not dressy lol) and my hair up on my head. I always dress professionally for interviews, but I make a point of stating that most days, I will be wearing old clothes etc because I enjoy getting on the floor and playing, plus all of the messes I encounter on a daily basis. I don't have many nice clothes, and frankly, they're not comfortable for me to move around a lot in
fwiw I was not dissing all providers that wear pj pants... to each their own....I was commenting on those providers that do AND complain about not being treated professionally or respected as "real school" type thing...
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 01-29-2016, 11:11 AM
mommyneedsadayoff's Avatar
mommyneedsadayoff mommyneedsadayoff is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,751
Default

I have read a lot of the archives here and while there are disagreements (strong ones), I have not seen as much vitriolic behavior as I do on the mommy blogs. Man they can be mean and SO judgemental! Comments on fb about kid issues are just so full of hate! I was linked to a new baby seat that lays a baby on their tummy and rocks them. Its meant for colicky or flat head babies I guess, but it asked what thoughts were on it. I expected positive and negative reviews, but the negative reviews were more about lazy parenting and how you should wear your baby and not ignore them andif you use that item, you are abandoning your child and a bad mom I was like, WTH?? Even a mom who said she had post partum and a colicky baby and would have loved the item to give her a few minutes of peace was told she shouldn't have had a baby if she wasn't prepared to meet its needs! Now I know why other groups like Sanctimommy exist! There are some judgmental parents out there who apparently have it all figured out! I have not seen that on this board. Other than trolls who just love to stir up controversy, I don't see that type of behavior on here from registered users and regular posters.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 01-29-2016, 11:19 AM
Rockgirl's Avatar
Rockgirl Rockgirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,016
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
For years I kept a file on my computer titled" Outrageous things dcp have said to me." It was great for stress relief. Sometimes I read it now for laughs.
You should start a thread with your list. I'm betting we could all contribute!
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 01-29-2016, 11:20 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
I have read a lot of the archives here and while there are disagreements (strong ones), I have not seen as much vitriolic behavior as I do on the mommy blogs. Man they can be mean and SO judgemental! Comments on fb about kid issues are just so full of hate! I was linked to a new baby seat that lays a baby on their tummy and rocks them. Its meant for colicky or flat head babies I guess, but it asked what thoughts were on it. I expected positive and negative reviews, but the negative reviews were more about lazy parenting and how you should wear your baby and not ignore them andif you use that item, you are abandoning your child and a bad mom I was like, WTH?? Even a mom who said she had post partum and a colicky baby and would have loved the item to give her a few minutes of peace was told she shouldn't have had a baby if she wasn't prepared to meet its needs! Now I know why other groups like Sanctimommy exist! There are some judgmental parents out there who apparently have it all figured out! I have not seen that on this board. Other than trolls who just love to stir up controversy, I don't see that type of behavior on here from registered users and regular posters.
I disagree.

I think we (general we) simply accept or at the very least identify with or understand what providers say/post since we are sharing the same view.

Reading some of the things said here (from a parent perspective) would definitely have me riled....as a provider I am sometimes dumbfounded but I usually just walk away from those threads but I think the judgement and negativity definitely goes both ways.
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 01-29-2016, 11:36 AM
mommyneedsadayoff's Avatar
mommyneedsadayoff mommyneedsadayoff is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,751
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I disagree.

I think we (general we) simply accept or at the very least identify with or understand what providers say/post since we are sharing the same view.

Reading some of the things said here (from a parent perspective) would definitely have me riled....as a provider I am sometimes dumbfounded but I usually just walk away from those threads but I think the judgement and negativity definitely goes both ways.
Now I am curious and gonna have to go back to the archives

The funny thing is, FB is where I see so much hate and they are using their own names, profile pics, ect. Not that people can't find out who you are on numerous forums, but FB is by far the most negative I have read yet! I love daycare.com, because I have found it so useful and so much less negative. I have not seen people called horrid names and threatened on here, and that seems to be every other comment on FB posts
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 01-29-2016, 11:45 AM
Rockgirl's Avatar
Rockgirl Rockgirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,016
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
Now I am curious and gonna have to go back to the archives

The funny thing is, FB is where I see so much hate and they are using their own names, profile pics, ect. Not that people can't find out who you are on numerous forums, but FB is by far the most negative I have read yet! I love daycare.com, because I have found it so useful and so much less negative. I have not seen people called horrid names and threatened on here, and that seems to be every other comment on FB posts
People with argue viciously about ANYTHING on FB! The other day, I saw one of those recipe videos posted, and read some of the comments. Yep, name calling and everything. Over a recipe!
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 01-29-2016, 12:06 PM
lovemykidstoo's Avatar
lovemykidstoo lovemykidstoo is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: U.S.
Posts: 4,637
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I disagree that it's a totally different tone. I think they say pretty much the same things said here on this board or any provider forum group. Each sharing from their perspective.


My daycare provider is completely <<insert complaint>>.
MY daycare parent(s) is/are <<insert complaint>>>
They are overcharging me when they don't even have an education.
They said they couldnt afford X but went to a concert last night or on a trip to... this is their first kid so I highly doubt they know what they are doing.
They insist on being called "school" when the provider themselves can't even spell.
The parents are pulling to go to "real preschool" or "check out this horrible craig's list ad
They are trying to tell me how to raise MY child
My house MY rules or how can I hint around at getting parents to follow my polices as I am not confrontational
"Your child, your choice -- it doesn't matter what the provider says, you do what you want."
My house MY rules. Just do it anyways no matter what the parent says
"They are making bank! You aren't hurting them any by doing such and such! That's what they get paid for -- control your provider!"
I waive late fees and don't enforce policies because I am afraid to lose income or take control of my business. You aren't the boss of me. Who cares what the parent says, do it anyways...MY house MY rules
"Give your provider as hard a time as you want -- after all, that's what they get paid for!
Tell Johnny's mom you wont give him a nap or you'll wake him after an hour but nap him anyways and just lie to the parent
You have a real job, and the provider needs to understand that you take priority or should make exceptions blah blah blah"
My house MY rules. MY kids live here, they can have special any time they want. Parents wont take me professionally (yet provider answers door in pj pants and looking as if they just rolled out of bed)

Very very true. I think that it really does go both ways. I have seen plenty of posts here saying that "I"m the boss" etc. I don't think I'm the boss and I don't think the parent is the boss. I believe we work together to provide the best care for the child. That does not mean that I take advantage of the parents and that they take advantage of me. I would love to visit the site to get insight on what the major problems are though so that I can avoid them if possible, just as if a parent might want to visit here to do the same. Is some of it really negative and not true? Probably, just as some here is really negative and probably similar view.

ChelseaB do you think you could send me the site?
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 01-29-2016, 12:09 PM
MyAngels's Avatar
MyAngels MyAngels is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,056
Default

I had a few thoughts as I read all the comments. First, I don't really care an awfully lot if parents think negative things about me or my daycare, so long as they are respectful and keep their negativity to themselves. FWIW I rarely get "negative vibes" from parents and when I do they typically don't last long (the families, not the vibes ).

Second, I am eternally thankful that I was able to raise my children in their early years without the benefit of the internet.

Third, Facebook holds very little value (at least for me )
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 01-29-2016, 12:10 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post

ChelseaB do you think you could send me the site?
You are more than welcome to post it here too and satisfy a few poster's curiosities.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 01-29-2016, 12:12 PM
lovemykidstoo's Avatar
lovemykidstoo lovemykidstoo is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: U.S.
Posts: 4,637
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
You are more than welcome to post it here too and satisfy a few poster's curiosities.
I think it's not a bad idea to get a parents perspective in a constructive way. I know that our son was in daycare for almost 3 years and I look back now that I'm a provider and think "oh my I did that?" lol. I am still in contact with the woman that cared for him and sometimes I will tell her, I'm so sorry I did XYZ haha
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 01-29-2016, 12:48 PM
Play Care's Avatar
Play Care Play Care is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 6,609
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I disagree.

I think we (general we) simply accept or at the very least identify with or understand what providers say/post since we are sharing the same view.

Reading some of the things said here (from a parent perspective) would definitely have me riled....as a provider I am sometimes dumbfounded but I usually just walk away from those threads but I think the judgement and negativity definitely goes both ways.


There are times I've "talked tough" to another provider, Espcially if they were looking for the moral support or just confirmation that they made the right decision. I just told someone today to do an immediate term at pick up time - I know parents reading that would be and "who do you think you are?!"
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 01-29-2016, 12:54 PM
Rockgirl's Avatar
Rockgirl Rockgirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,016
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
You are more than welcome to post it here too and satisfy a few poster's curiosities.
Thank you....I think we all wanted to ask!
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 01-29-2016, 01:18 PM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is online now
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 8,167
Default

I think a lot of it comes down to the working mom vs. Stay at home mom debate. Working moms think they are better than me and I think I am better than most working moms. Are there working moms who are awesome? ABSOLUTELY! Are there SAHM's who suck? YES!

I think we all b!itch about the ones who suck
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 01-29-2016, 01:40 PM
ChelseaB's Avatar
ChelseaB ChelseaB is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 226
Default

Certainly, it may take me a few to find what I'm looking for... I think one was this link: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/25/5.page
I believe it was a thread labeled centers vs in home daycares or something...may have to search a little to find what I'm trying to reference, and I THINK this is the forum where I found posts where they drug Nannyde's name into a few posts... I will certainly share more once I have a few
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 01-29-2016, 02:09 PM
ChelseaB's Avatar
ChelseaB ChelseaB is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 226
Default

One thing I did do was search for mommy boards and parenting forums. Then I typed daycare into the website search -- that was my primary way of researching
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 01-29-2016, 03:48 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChelseaB View Post
Certainly, it may take me a few to find what I'm looking for... I think one was this link: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/25/5.page
I believe it was a thread labeled centers vs in home daycares or something...may have to search a little to find what I'm trying to reference, and I THINK this is the forum where I found posts where they drug Nannyde's name into a few posts... I will certainly share more once I have a few
Here is the In-home daycare vs Center thread specifically:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/528153.page
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 01-29-2016, 04:19 PM
Rockgirl's Avatar
Rockgirl Rockgirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,016
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Here is the In-home daycare vs Center thread specifically:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/528153.page
That's the one thread I read this afternoon. Pretty vicious in some posts!
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 01-29-2016, 05:49 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,536
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockgirl View Post
That's the one thread I read this afternoon. Pretty vicious in some posts!
Honestly, I didn't find anything wrong with the thread. It appeared equally negative to both in-home care and centers depending on the preference of each poster, which like I said seemed equally divided.

There was an argument between a couple posters but nothing directly related to in-home daycare or centers. The argument seemed to simply be because two posters didnt like the way the other stated their opinion.

I actually thought a few posters made some great comments about their in-home providers.
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 01-29-2016, 06:07 PM
Crystal's Avatar
Crystal Crystal is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,955
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Honestly, I didn't find anything wrong with the thread. It appeared equally negative to both in-home care and centers depending on the preference of each poster, which like I said seemed equally divided.

There was an argument between a couple posters but nothing directly related to in-home daycare or centers. The argument seemed to simply be because two posters didnt like the way the other stated their opinion.

I actually thought a few posters made some great comments about their in-home providers.
Me too. I think I've actually seen worse here a time or two
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 01-29-2016, 06:12 PM
Rockgirl's Avatar
Rockgirl Rockgirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,016
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Honestly, I didn't find anything wrong with the thread. It appeared equally negative to both in-home care and centers depending on the preference of each poster, which like I said seemed equally divided.

There was an argument between a couple posters but nothing directly related to in-home daycare or centers. The argument seemed to simply be because two posters didnt like the way the other stated their opinion.

I actually thought a few posters made some great comments about their in-home providers.
Oh, I loved the way people were sticking up for their providers! There were some pretty hateful comments from one parent to another.
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 01-30-2016, 03:48 AM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,154
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockgirl View Post
Oh, I loved the way people were sticking up for their providers! There were some pretty hateful comments from one parent to another.
I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.
Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old 01-30-2016, 06:59 AM
childcaremom's Avatar
childcaremom childcaremom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,969
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.


That's what stuck out to me, too. Academics, academics, academics.
Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 02-01-2016, 07:18 AM
Rockgirl's Avatar
Rockgirl Rockgirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,016
Default

So, I got curious about mommy boards, and checked out the cafemom message boards. WOW is all I can say! These moms relentlessly tear each other apart. I'm glad parenting boards weren't as big when my kids were little. Actually, we didn't even own a computer until mine were 5 & 8. But seriously, wow.
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 02-01-2016, 07:31 AM
LysesKids's Avatar
LysesKids LysesKids is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,835
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockgirl View Post
So, I got curious about mommy boards, and checked out the cafemom message boards. WOW is all I can say! These moms relentlessly tear each other apart. I'm glad parenting boards weren't as big when my kids were little. Actually, we didn't even own a computer until mine were 5 & 8. But seriously, wow.
I ditched the daycare forum because not a lot posted and I agree some of the others are like WOW especially when it comes to SNAP, childcare etc... and yeah, I have added my 2 cents standing up for providers, but obviously I go anon when possible. I have enough issues without being torn apart by some of the people there
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 02-01-2016, 07:39 AM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.
I know! It kills me how people think. But really though I think it boils down to the fact that everyone wants their kid to be brilliant and special. They want their kid to conquer the world. I just wish parents would actually read the research to see how to make that happen.

On a side note, I saw a news story a week or so ago about a 12 yr old graduating high school and starting college. My only thought was when was this poor kid going to learn the life lessons that come from being a kid. He may be a genius, but I wonder if he is or will be not so smart in other ways.

Last edited by Thriftylady; 02-01-2016 at 07:39 AM. Reason: Typo
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 02-01-2016, 11:40 AM
DaveA's Avatar
DaveA DaveA is online now
Daycare.com Member and Bladesmith
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,899
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thriftylady View Post
On a side note, I saw a news story a week or so ago about a 12 yr old graduating high school and starting college. My only thought was when was this poor kid going to learn the life lessons that come from being a kid. He may be a genius, but I wonder if he is or will be not so smart in other ways.
A guy I know through my knifemaking business was basically Doogie Howser for business/ computers: 2 graduate degrees by 18, successful business by 20. He says it really screws you up. I had a really interesting conversation with him in an airport bar years ago. It took him till his late 20's to understand how to have anything vaguely resembling a balanced, "normal" life. He basically said by 23 he'd made 30 million, lost 1/2 of it in a divorce all his fault, and lost most of the rest getting thrown out of his own business by his partners because he was too big of an a@@. Last time I saw him he was happy with his life and doing really well, but he said not having a "real" childhood is rough.
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 02-01-2016, 11:54 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,377
Default

dd takes classes with a child prodigy. Child is in advanced placement college courses for most classes, at age 12. She will graduate high school this year, and she is the most miserable child ever. She cannot relate socially to anyone, much less her same age peers. She is CONSTANTLY in tutoring lessons or in classes, or studying. She speaks three languages, plays 4 instruments, you name it.

My dd/advanced placement student now COMPLETELY understands why I wouldn't allow the school to bump her up a grade, not once, but TWICE (once from 1st-2nd, and recently from 11th-12th) She will already graduate at 17.

Is it so wrong of me to hope my perfectly average children lead perfectly average lives? Happiness does not always equal success.
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 02-01-2016, 12:19 PM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,743
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
dd takes classes with a child prodigy. Child is in advanced placement college courses for most classes, at age 12. She will graduate high school this year, and she is the most miserable child ever. She cannot relate socially to anyone, much less her same age peers. She is CONSTANTLY in tutoring lessons or in classes, or studying. She speaks three languages, plays 4 instruments, you name it.

My dd/advanced placement student now COMPLETELY understands why I wouldn't allow the school to bump her up a grade, not once, but TWICE (once from 1st-2nd, and recently from 11th-12th) She will already graduate at 17.

Is it so wrong of me to hope my perfectly average children lead perfectly average lives? Happiness does not always equal success.
My nephew which is now a Freshman in college was allowed to skip first grade. His parents allowed this to happen....bad mistake and his parents (although divorced now) both agree it was a bad mistake. Hopefully, my nephew will survive but there are definitely issues he has faced and is facing due to missing just one grade. I can't imagine moving any faster than that and not reaping some negative effects.
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 02-04-2016, 08:45 PM
My3cents's Avatar
My3cents My3cents is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,842
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
I agree. But you know what stuck out to me was that you see that whole mindset of 'gotta go to preschool' again. Home daycare may be great for when they're 0-3(or even 2 1/2) but get 'em on the high road to academics after that. I saw ONE comment about the whole academics thing being debunked and AFAIK nobody made a comment on it. So obviously most parents must still feel kids need to be able to read Pride and Prejudice before kindergarten.
no they don't feel that way at all.....$ is what they are feeling. They want free childcare through public schooling.

I feel children under five learn best through play. Come age four/ four and a half they are starting to want more. I don't feel Pre-school should be doing the job of what Kindergarten once did.

I also agree that I see both sides... I see the parents side and I see the provider side. When your in it.....right now I am a provider it is just easier to understand my feelings and emotions and stance on things. When I was the parent sending my child I saw the same things that parents see. All I know is that with out my working parents I would not have a job, and with out me they would not have a daycare so they could work. We all just need to learn to play good together and find balance to make it work, and that is ever changing and challenging for all of us-

Just My3cents~
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 02-07-2016, 06:14 AM
auntymimi's Avatar
auntymimi auntymimi is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 263
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
I think it's not a bad idea to get a parents perspective in a constructive way. I know that our son was in daycare for almost 3 years and I look back now that I'm a provider and think "oh my I did that?" lol. I am still in contact with the woman that cared for him and sometimes I will tell her, I'm so sorry I did XYZ haha
My oldest daughter's provider and I are still friends, and I've apologized multiple times for the things I didn't understand as a parent. She just laughs and says "oh you'll get what's coming to you" in a friendly way. She's been a great help to me in getting started in this business. We have such a shortage of providers in our area that competition isn't really an issue. I've been blessed to have a great group of ladies to help get myself and some of the other "younger ones" as they call us, get started. It's like having a network of nannas you can call up and ask about things. kinda like this forum.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
daycare environment, parents - don't appreciate

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Shocked mrsnj Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 14 06-20-2013 01:47 PM
Hit and Run.... I'm Shocked! SunshineMama Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 12 10-19-2012 12:42 PM
I Thought I Was Shocked Before, But ... Kimberli Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 34 10-05-2012 02:30 PM
Don't Be Shocked!!! B Lou Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 9 05-22-2012 11:15 AM
Shocked... Hunni Bee Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 15 02-20-2011 07:23 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:02 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming