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  #1  
Old 06-26-2018, 10:54 AM
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Default Lingering Parent Problem!

I am having trouble with one parent who lingers at pickup! We close at 6pm and she comes at 5:58 and WON'T leave! Her daughter (daycare child) starts going into my kitchen now and asking for a snack and she REFUSES to leave until she gets one. Now everyday it has become a habit where she won't leave without a cup of goldfish, string cheese, yogurt, or piece of fruit. It is frustrating because they literally live 9 houses down the road so it's not like the child will starve on the way home and it is only a couple hours after her afternoon snack! She is always the last one here and usually its 6:15-6:30 before they leave. I have made hints to the mother, had the child ready to go, even waiting outside in yard somedays and they still won't leave without coming back inside for a snack!! I think its rude of the mother but she doesn't seem to care at all- how can I nip this in the butt?! Thanks in advance for your advice!
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Old 06-26-2018, 11:02 AM
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A note going out to please arrive on time to prepare children to leave prior to the daycare closing time. The daycare closes promptly at 6pm. Late fees (or overtime fees) will be charged based on the departure time from the daycare, not the arrival time to pick up.

Snacks, I would just say the kitchen is closed and that you do not wish to spoil her appetite for dinner.
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Old 06-26-2018, 11:02 AM
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Start charging her late fees from the minute your clock strikes 6 until she leaves and as far as snacks to go....just say no.

OR you could do what I'd probably do and send a note home, saying you close at 6 on the dot which means, they need to be gone by 6; then mention the late fee even if they're chatting at 6:05, let them know how much of a fee it'd be. And mention in the note, no more snacks are allowed at pick-up; if their child cannot wait then it's the parents' responsibility to provide them.
THEN if they still take advantage, charge them the fees and also refuse to provide more snacks. Because they have been warned!!
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Old 06-26-2018, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
Start charging her late fees from the minute your clock strikes 6 until she leaves and as far as snacks to go....just say no.

OR you could do what I'd probably do and send a note home, saying you close at 6 on the dot which means, they need to be gone by 6; then mention the late fee even if they're chatting at 6:05, let them know how much of a fee it'd be. And mention in the note, no more snacks are allowed at pick-up; if their child cannot wait then it's the parents' responsibility to provide them.
THEN if they still take advantage, charge them the fees and also refuse to provide more snacks. Because they have been warned!!

THIS!!! It is after 6 that kid needs to go home and eat dinner with her family. I would terminate a family over that disrespect. She probably putting the kid to bed shortly after leaving your house.
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Old 06-26-2018, 12:00 PM
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Nope. I would have a chat with the mom. Have child all ready to go and hand over hand give her to Mom. "No, the kitchen is closed and Miss. Katie has things to do! See you tomorrow! BYE!" and BLOCK them from entering.

Extending your day is easy. Free snacks for the kids, free supervision, delaying parenting at home.
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Old 06-26-2018, 12:31 PM
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"Sally, I believe we have been having some miscommunication. Children are to be picked up and offsite by 6pm. Afternoon snack is at ___. Your arriving last minute and dck's extra snack requests have to end today. Tomorrow I will expect you and dck to be gone by 6p. If she needs a snack for the ride home, you will need to provide that from your own home to be kept in your car. Sorry it got this out of hand. Thanks for your understanding."
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Old 06-26-2018, 12:52 PM
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Nope. I would have a chat with the mom. Have child all ready to go and hand over hand give her to Mom. "No, the kitchen is closed and Miss. Katie has things to do! See you tomorrow! BYE!" and BLOCK them from entering.

Extending your day is easy. Free snacks for the kids, free supervision, delaying parenting at home.
I have said these exact words. It may take a few times, but it works. Don't give in once though or you have to start over.
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Old 06-26-2018, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by KatieR1217 View Post
I am having trouble with one parent who lingers at pickup! We close at 6pm and she comes at 5:58 and WON'T leave! Her daughter (daycare child) starts going into my kitchen now and asking for a snack and she REFUSES to leave until she gets one. Now everyday it has become a habit where she won't leave without a cup of goldfish, string cheese, yogurt, or piece of fruit. It is frustrating because they literally live 9 houses down the road so it's not like the child will starve on the way home and it is only a couple hours after her afternoon snack! She is always the last one here and usually its 6:15-6:30 before they leave. I have made hints to the mother, had the child ready to go, even waiting outside in yard somedays and they still won't leave without coming back inside for a snack!! I think its rude of the mother but she doesn't seem to care at all- how can I nip this in the butt?! Thanks in advance for your advice!
You have an ignorant parent on your hands. Also rude. Other people have given you great advice here. I will never be able to wrap my head around why people are so dense.
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Old 06-26-2018, 01:07 PM
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Once you say she can't pick up and stay past close she may just start arriving earlier so she can get you all to herself and have a front seat watching you do as you're told by her daughter when she asks for snacks.

She likes this ... a lot. She isn't going to like the change.

I have a chapter in my book discussing the Attention Seeking Parent. This scenario is discussed with techniques and words to use to get it stopped.
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Old 06-26-2018, 02:55 PM
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I like CATHEARDERS reply.Tell her outright.Starting tomorrow no snacks.I would tell mom in front of child.Tell child there will be no more snacks at end of day.I also would have everything child needs outside.I would lock the doors .At 6;00pm I would walk them out and say goodbye outside.Do it everyday .If she picks up late charge her.
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Old 06-26-2018, 04:18 PM
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I have a child that goes into my kitchen on the way home, or I should say DID once. I went after her and said “no bubba time to go home now, see you tomorrow” and guided her back to her mom. Only one person is allowing this and its you! You are in charge and mom can like it or leave care. It is so disrespectful for her to expect you to feed her chikd well past closing as well.
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Old 06-27-2018, 07:13 AM
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All of the above! I would also tell the child before pick up time that you expect her not to ask for a snack. I would tell her in the morning and repeat it all through the day. "remember Sally, today when mom picks up you are NOT going to ask for a snack or xyz consequence".
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  #13  
Old 06-27-2018, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Once you say she can't pick up and stay past close she may just start arriving earlier so she can get you all to herself and have a front seat watching you do as you're told by her daughter when she asks for snacks.

She likes this ... a lot. She isn't going to like the change.

I have a chapter in my book discussing the Attention Seeking Parent. This scenario is discussed with techniques and words to use to get it stopped.
YEP! I have a mom that comes early, which I honestly don't mind, but yes the child began to ask for a snack to go ever since the one time the child wasn't finished with snack when mom came, so we let her take it "to go"... So pretty much ever since that day, the snack time is like 2 hours past long over, the mom comes in 30 minutes early, as they leave, child asks for a snack to go. I let it happen a couple times because I didn't care! But then, guess what? Every kid wanted an extra snack at the same time as this one AND ask for another to go when their own parent comes lol I simply say, "nope, kitchen is closed, have a snack when you get home!" And the moms picked up on it and say the same things, "we have some at home" etc I pretty much knew where this was headed the first time I allowed it, but you kind of have to let the parents see it evolve for them to understand why you do things a certain way. Like, if I had not allowed her to take her first unfinished snack home, it would look bitchy.
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:55 PM
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YEP! I have a mom that comes early, which I honestly don't mind, but yes the child began to ask for a snack to go ever since the one time the child wasn't finished with snack when mom came, so we let her take it "to go"... So pretty much ever since that day, the snack time is like 2 hours past long over, the mom comes in 30 minutes early, as they leave, child asks for a snack to go. I let it happen a couple times because I didn't care! But then, guess what? Every kid wanted an extra snack at the same time as this one AND ask for another to go when their own parent comes lol I simply say, "nope, kitchen is closed, have a snack when you get home!" And the moms picked up on it and say the same things, "we have some at home" etc I pretty much knew where this was headed the first time I allowed it, but you kind of have to let the parents see it evolve for them to understand why you do things a certain way. Like, if I had not allowed her to take her first unfinished snack home, it would look bitchy.
And don't you just love it when the kids wait for the parents to come in the door to ask? This is how smart kids are. The kids could ask before the parent comes, but they think if they ask in front of the parent you'll give in.
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:20 PM
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Because they just realized, they're staaaarving lol
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KatieR1217 View Post
I am having trouble with one parent who lingers at pickup! We close at 6pm and she comes at 5:58 and WON'T leave! Her daughter (daycare child) starts going into my kitchen now and asking for a snack and she REFUSES to leave until she gets one. Now everyday it has become a habit where she won't leave without a cup of goldfish, string cheese, yogurt, or piece of fruit. It is frustrating because they literally live 9 houses down the road so it's not like the child will starve on the way home and it is only a couple hours after her afternoon snack! She is always the last one here and usually its 6:15-6:30 before they leave. I have made hints to the mother, had the child ready to go, even waiting outside in yard somedays and they still won't leave without coming back inside for a snack!! I think its rude of the mother but she doesn't seem to care at all- how can I nip this in the butt?! Thanks in advance for your advice!
I agree with all the advice about how to stop this behavior. Remember - the snack is tax deductible ($.73 per snack)!
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Old 06-27-2018, 04:41 PM
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I used to have two school age brothers, and once one of them was sick and the one who came asked me right in front of his mom if he could take a snack home to his brother, and I was like "nope you only get a snack if you come to daycare". Another time same boy had just walked out the door at pickup and turned around on the porch with his mom right by him and said "oh I didn't get my snack" as he was trying to come back in. I said "yes you did get one" and he said "oh yeah I forgot".

The brothers were my first dc kids. On their first day when I offered them a snack, they didn't like what I was offering and the same brother proceeded to go into my kitchen and tried to open the cabinet (had child safety lock) and said "let me see what else you got". I told him he is not allowed to go into kitchen and look in the cabinets or fridge.

Some kids (and parents) will try and test you and see what they can get away with. You have to set things straight right away or the problem will continue.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:30 AM
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And don't you just love it when the kids wait for the parents to come in the door to ask? This is how smart kids are. The kids could ask before the parent comes, but they think if they ask in front of the parent you'll give in.

That's why I have a separate drop off/pick up area. I've had too many children who want to interact with parents (especially not their's).
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:09 PM
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ITA with everyone else.

Can you have her outside at pick up? That will eliminate the snack thing. Also I have designated meal/snack times and those are the only times food is available.

My policies say that a late fee is charged as long as the child is on the premises, so if they hang out in the back yard or driveway or whatever, charge the fee. And make it a BIG one - like $10 for the first minute and $1 for every minute after. That'd get you an extra $40 if they stay until 6:30.
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:33 PM
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Had a mom come pick up today. Dad always picks up. So she stands inside my door gabbing and the 15 month old dcg keeps pointing at my table which is right off my dooorway. The mom keeps saying what are you pointing at the cups? (leftover cups on the table). She did that 3 time as I stood there. Then she says you can get a drink at home. Nope, I'm not playing that game. Ignored her each time and tended to other dcg's hair that needed to be fixed after nap. I'm sure if I would have offered she would have accepted and that would have started a whole "thing".
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