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providerandmomof4 06:39 PM 12-10-2013
I'm feeling kind of uneasy because I left 2 dck with my oldest son for about 15 mins today. During that time frame they get picked up from their dcd. It was a weird situation. I can think of only a handful of times I have ever left my dck 's in the past 4 yrs. If I have appts or have to do something, I take the dck's with me. Occasionally I will have my grown dd stay with them if I will be gone for just a few minutes...like while running my dd to school.
Anyway, today, dd tells me he will be picking up his kids early. He says by 4:00. I decide at that point to keep my dh car (my minivan is in the shop) so I can get some things done after the kids leave. I'll have to pick up hubby from work but will be fine because by that time I should only have one baby. Bonus...because I only have one car seat as all of the other car seats are in my minivan...in the shop. Whew! Hope that isn't confusing.
So guess what? Dcd didn't come and get his kids early. So now it's time to get my dh from work and I can't take 3 kids with me with only one carseat. Also if I don't get him right at 5:00, my youngest ds and dd won't get to karate at 5:30 and yadda....you get the picture.
Now I feel like I should explain to dcd that I don't leave the kids with my son on a regular basis, but dcd did tell me he would be there and since he wasn't, I had to pick up my dh. Or should I say anything? They know my son and he is listed as one of my assistants if I should need someone in an emergency.
I don't know...If he would've just picked up his kids like he said he was going to, this could have been avoided.....Should I say anything?
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daycare 06:58 PM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by providerandmomof4:
I'm feeling kind of uneasy because I left 2 dck with my oldest son for about 15 mins today. During that time frame they get picked up from their dcd. It was a weird situation. I can think of only a handful of times I have ever left my dck 's in the past 4 yrs. If I have appts or have to do something, I take the dck's with me. Occasionally I will have my grown dd stay with them if I will be gone for just a few minutes...like while running my dd to school.
Anyway, today, dd tells me he will be picking up his kids early. He says by 4:00. I decide at that point to keep my dh car (my minivan is in the shop) so I can get some things done after the kids leave. I'll have to pick up hubby from work but will be fine because by that time I should only have one baby. Bonus...because I only have one car seat as all of the other car seats are in my minivan...in the shop. Whew! Hope that isn't confusing.
So guess what? Dcd didn't come and get his kids early. So now it's time to get my dh from work and I can't take 3 kids with me with only one carseat. Also if I don't get him right at 5:00, my youngest ds and dd won't get to karate at 5:30 and yadda....you get the picture.
Now I feel like I should explain to dcd that I don't leave the kids with my son on a regular basis, but dcd did tell me he would be there and since he wasn't, I had to pick up my dh. Or should I say anything? They know my son and he is listed as one of my assistants if I should need someone in an emergency.
I don't know...If he would've just picked up his kids like he said he was going to, this could have been avoided.....Should I say anything?
If your son is legally able to care for the children, then I would not be explaining anything to them.

If they asked, I would tell them that you made plans based off of the time DCD gave you, DCD didn't show and you needed to take care of your family. THen I might say, as you know my son is one of my qualifies assistants so I was able to arrange having my son stay with the kids. Leave it at that.
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littlemissmuffet 07:03 PM 12-10-2013
Nope, I wouldn't explain.

Dad was supposed to pick up early, you made plans based on the expectation dcd would pick up when he said he would. He didn't, and you had to carry on with your plans. It's on him, not you - and if he dares get upset tell him he should show up when he says he will (I have been told probably 100 times in the last few years that a parent will pick up early and it's only happened like 3 times)...
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butterfly 07:17 PM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
If your son is legally able to care for the children, then I would not be explaining anything to them.

If they asked, I would tell them that you made plans based off of the time DCD gave you, DCD didn't show and you needed to take care of your family. THen I might say, as you know my son is one of my qualifies assistants so I was able to arrange having my son stay with the kids. Leave it at that.

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JoseyJo 08:47 PM 12-10-2013
Originally Posted by providerandmomof4:
I'm feeling kind of uneasy because I left 2 dck with my oldest son for about 15 mins today. During that time frame they get picked up from their dcd. It was a weird situation. I can think of only a handful of times I have ever left my dck 's in the past 4 yrs. If I have appts or have to do something, I take the dck's with me. Occasionally I will have my grown dd stay with them if I will be gone for just a few minutes...like while running my dd to school.
Anyway, today, dd tells me he will be picking up his kids early. He says by 4:00. I decide at that point to keep my dh car (my minivan is in the shop) so I can get some things done after the kids leave. I'll have to pick up hubby from work but will be fine because by that time I should only have one baby. Bonus...because I only have one car seat as all of the other car seats are in my minivan...in the shop. Whew! Hope that isn't confusing.
So guess what? Dcd didn't come and get his kids early. So now it's time to get my dh from work and I can't take 3 kids with me with only one carseat. Also if I don't get him right at 5:00, my youngest ds and dd won't get to karate at 5:30 and yadda....you get the picture.
Now I feel like I should explain to dcd that I don't leave the kids with my son on a regular basis, but dcd did tell me he would be there and since he wasn't, I had to pick up my dh. Or should I say anything? They know my son and he is listed as one of my assistants if I should need someone in an emergency.
I don't know...If he would've just picked up his kids like he said he was going to, this could have been avoided.....Should I say anything?
I wouldn't say anything- but if they ask I would say that you based your plans on DCD's planned p/u and dcd was late.
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Josiegirl 02:59 AM 12-11-2013
You can have a 15 yo be a qualified assistant and leave him alone with dcks? I'm just curious because here, they have to be 18.
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providerandmomof4 04:26 AM 12-11-2013
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
You can have a 15 yo be a qualified assistant and leave him alone with dcks? I'm just curious because here, they have to be 18.
My son is 22. However they were not told that the kids would ever be left with him, and that is the issue. And any time I leave them with my oldest dd (20) I give them a heads up. Yesterday I just had to go or my own youngest children's evening activities wouldn't have been able to happen.
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Josiegirl 04:28 AM 12-11-2013
Oops sorry! Must read posts better (smacking myself to wake up some more!)
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coolconfidentme 04:31 AM 12-11-2013
Originally Posted by providerandmomof4:
My son is 22. However they were not told that the kids would ever be left with him, and that is the issue. And any time I leave them with my oldest dd (20) I give them a heads up. Yesterday I just had to go or my own youngest children's evening activities wouldn't have been able to happen.
If he is listed as an assistant, no worries then. My doctor doesn't tell me when he has a new assistant & you don't have to either.
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Luna 05:15 AM 12-11-2013
If DCD doesn't feel the need to explain why he didn't do what he said he was going to do, I sure wouldn't feel the need to explain myself.
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Play Care 05:19 AM 12-11-2013
In my state I am required to let my families know when a sub will be covering. So I let them know in the interview that I have a legally cleared sub/assistant and at any time she may be in to run the show, which covers me in case there is an appointment I forget about or an emergency comes up. No parent can say they didn't know my sub might be here I do imagine if you have a similar regulation that you would need to explain. Not sure how you structure your hours, but if I am open from x to x time unless an emergency comes up I make my self available for care. I learned a long time ago not to bank on kids being picked up early...
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Blackcat31 07:34 AM 12-11-2013
In my state an assistant and a sub are two very different things.

Someone qualified as an assistant can be present IF the provider is present. The assistant can NEVER be left alone with the children.

A sub can be left with kids when the provider is off the premises. A sub must have certain training hours and certificates to be qualified as a sub.

An assistant doesn't have to have as many hours of trainings and/or certificates.

Honestly, I would mention this to the dad. I would say that I would appreciate if he were more timely about his pick ups and that he put you in a uncomfortable situation that you would appreciate never happens again.

I don't see an issue with leaving the DCK's with your son. I see an issue about the DCD not being prompt, timely or open to communicate these actions.

It doesn't sound like he called to tell you he was running late.

When it became apparent that he was late, I would have called him. I would have used that opportunity to let him know if he was going to be much longer in picking up that you were not going to be there but your son would be.
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e.j. 11:34 AM 12-11-2013
As a courtesy, I'd probably say something like, "I'm sorry I missed you yesterday. You had said you were going to pick the kids up early and when you didn't, I had to quickly run to pick my husband up at work since my car is in the shop. Although my son is an approved assistant, I felt a little uncomfortable leaving before you got here but had no choice since my husband needed a ride home from work. In the future, I'd appreciate it if you would call if you're going to be later than expected."

Just curious....Could your son have picked up your husband instead or does he not drive?
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 11:42 AM 12-11-2013
Originally Posted by e.j.:
As a courtesy, I'd probably say something like, "I'm sorry I missed you yesterday. You had said you were going to pick the kids up early and when you didn't, I had to quickly run to pick my husband up at work since my car is in the shop. Although my son is an approved assistant, I felt a little uncomfortable leaving before you got here but had no choice since my husband needed a ride home from work. In the future, I'd appreciate it if you would call if you're going to be later than expected."

Just curious....Could your son have picked up your husband instead or does he not drive?
This if I hadn't called dad. I would have called prior to leaving. Hey I thought you told me you would be here by now. I have to pick up my dh from work and ds is going to keep the kidos until you get here. Just wanted to give you a heads up. Thanks.
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Annalee 05:28 PM 12-11-2013
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
You can have a 15 yo be a qualified assistant and leave him alone with dcks? I'm just curious because here, they have to be 18.
To be an assistant and especially if you are left alone with the children you have to be 18 in my state as well. Assistants/sub-care have to have background check along with current CPR/first aid, too.
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providerandmomof4 07:30 PM 12-11-2013
Originally Posted by e.j.:
As a courtesy, I'd probably say something like, "I'm sorry I missed you yesterday. You had said you were going to pick the kids up early and when you didn't, I had to quickly run to pick my husband up at work since my car is in the shop. Although my son is an approved assistant, I felt a little uncomfortable leaving before you got here but had no choice since my husband needed a ride home from work. In the future, I'd appreciate it if you would call if you're going to be later than expected."

Just curious....Could your son have picked up your husband instead or does he not drive?
No he doesn't drive. Not my car anyway, he totaled one of ours and my insurance dropped me. No way am I carrying insurance on him and since he "can't afford" a car and insurance of his own...well, there it is.
btw: he could probably afford these little things if he wanted to work more than 15hrs a week...but that's a whole other thread. He reminds me of Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd said, "There isn't a job in this town." And Harry says, "Yea, unless you want to work 40 hours a week."
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e.j. 03:16 PM 12-12-2013
Originally Posted by providerandmomof4:
No he doesn't drive. Not my car anyway, he totaled one of ours and my insurance dropped me. No way am I carrying insurance on him and since he "can't afford" a car and insurance of his own...well, there it is.
btw: he could probably afford these little things if he wanted to work more than 15hrs a week...but that's a whole other thread. He reminds me of Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd said, "There isn't a job in this town." And Harry says, "Yea, unless you want to work 40 hours a week."
Oooh....I can understand why you didn't send him! I've always told my kids if they were caught speeding, driving recklessly, etc..., they would never use my car again. Funny thing is, now that my son is paying for his own car and insurance, he won't let me or my husband drive it. He says he's too nervous that we'll get into an accident with it!
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spinnymarie 06:45 PM 12-12-2013
I guess I'd feel like I needed to say something, but as of right now I'm more of a nanny in my own home, since I only have one family, so they know all about everything that's going on.
And I'd absolutely mention that you only had to leave because you understood he was supposed to pick up at 4:00.
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