Changing Entrances

[CountryRoads]

My daycare is in our downstairs and right now everyone comes in through the upstairs and heads down. We are changing that within a couple weeks and the new entrance will be the downstairs.

We are doing this for several reasons (about to go on a rant here):

- I don't want anyone walking through our home anymore.
- No one took of their shoes last winter and tracked in mud and snow all through our house.
- Dcm lets her kids run wild upstairs.
- Same kids have fallen down our stairs due to mom not paying attention - but, she STILL lets them run wild.
- Same dcm lets them run wild on the deck and one of her kids picked tomatoes off my plant that weren't ready yet
- Same dcm has let her kids jump on our couch.
- Same dcm let her kids run up the stairs last night and go into our youngest sons room which resulted in my son hitting dcb for touching his toys.

Any ideas on a nice, but very firm letter? All I can think to say is that the entranced has changed and to please use the downstairs from now on. But, I would like to send a separate letter to this the family mentioned (but to where she thinks it went to everybody) about how the deck and upstairs is off limits and to please not allow your kids to go anywhere except the fence downstairs.

Any ideas? Thanks in advance!

[rosieteddy]

I would send same letter to everyone.Tell them everything you just wrote.I would start out the letter as For safety sake going forward this will be the new drop off and pick up routine.Print it out have them sign a copy and affix it to your handbook.I would post a reminder on front door laminate it if you have to .I had this problem with non enrolled siblings.Sometimes everything needs to be spelled out.Good luck.

[Cat Herder]

I would simply post a note for them to go around to the other entrance and keep the door locked. I would then deal with PITA mom directly, face to face.

Knock it off or go somewhere else.

[coloradoprovider]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I would simply post a note for them to go around to the other entrance and keep the door locked. I would then deal with PITA mom directly, face to face.

Knock it off or go somewhere else.

Sounds like the parents have gotten too comfortable in your home! Shoes are taken off (parents too!) at my home. A child running wild in my home would be corrected by me - if the parent gets offended, tough cookies.

[LostMyMarbles]

You do not owe them any reasons why. Just inform them all that starting on 9-6-2019 they will be dropping off and picking up at door B. End of story. If they come to door A , don’t answer it.

[knoxmomof2]

I actually did this for several reasons, but I had a couple of lingerers that would not take the hint. It made things a million times less stressful. Be aware that no boundaries Mom will just find new ways to intrude, so you'll want to address where people are allowed, what rules they're expected to follow and such. Also make it clear that drop off and pick up times need to be limited to 5 minutes or less and if further communication is required, you can set up a phone call or meeting to address things. I don't know if you're licensed (I'm license exempt since I keep less than 5), but I know the licensed ones use liability as a reason that people's activities on their property are limited. "Licensing is really cracking down on how long people are lingering on the property / non daycare children accessing restricted areas, etc so moving forward...." A simple note or letter noting the changes would be nice, but you have old habits you'll need to break and this is the easiest way to do that. After that, you will have to speak up and remind Mom of the rules though. I really had to learn to grow a backbone.

I handled my change by doing a post on my closed group just for the daycare that I have on Facebook. I had enough and just couldn't anymore with the crap, so I posted it on Saturday for the following Monday. "Starting Monday (3/7), pick ups and drop offs will happen at the side entrance. I listed the "door times" (when the door would be unlocked) and said that drop offs or pick ups would need to happen at the front door outside of those hours with parents keeping it to a minimum due to the disruptions it caused. I didn't want to leave the door unlocked indefinitely and the side room is also my nap room, so it wouldn't always be accessible anyway. The room is adjacent to my daycare room with the kitchen in between, so they come to the doorway, say goodbye and go in to the daycare room. The front door leads right in to my daycare room.

The lingerers were so unhappy about the change! I actually ended up having to call a meeting to address why I made the changes. The other 2 parents didn't feel a need to attend because they completely understood. I apologized for not better explaining my reasoning to them (no, I didn't owe it to them, but I was trying to offer an olive branch) and then made it clear that if the arrangement no longer worked for them, I completely understood and they were welcome to give notice. 1 said she'd "have to talk to DCD about it all". I told her I completely understood (they stayed on for another year and a half until she moved on to Junior Kindergarten). They were both high maintenance, but they were some of my first clients when I had no experience (and no rules), so I tolerated a lot until their children moved on to school. Now, I have policies and it is great! Oh, interesting story, when 1 of the lingerers started, she was supposed to drop off at 7:30 (my first in each day). Slowly that changed and she would come later and hang around forever, so when I set the door times I set it for 8 (when she usually showed up). She said "oh, I need a 7:30 drop off. I'm really getting in trouble at work for showing up late." I said "OK, then I'll open for you at 7:30". Next morning, she shows up at 8 with another crazy excuse about why she's late, so I said "why don't you just text me when you leave your house. I'll be ready by the time you get here." After that, not only did she rarely arrive before 8, but she actually learned that if she missed the door time, she had an audience again with me at the front door, so she would arrive after 9:15!!! I just had to let her know it was time for me to serve breakfast and get her to leave.

I know this is a long reply, but I just wanted to let you know the possible "fun" you are in for. Anticipate as many issues as you can and have rules in place to discourage them. At the meeting, I gave several reasons why I made the change, but the one that seemed to hit home the most was when I mentioned how I was potty training one of the girls once day (using a training potty in my daycare room.... I don't move them to the bathroom until they're using the training potty regularly) and a DCD arrived to pick up his child. The potty training girl decided at that moment decided to streak through the front room, which made DCD incredible uncomfortable. I explained to the Moms that side door drop off/ pick up would virtually eliminate strangers seeing their child half naked. It was a good point that appealed to their selfish nature

[CountryRoads]

Originally Posted by knoxmomof2

I actually did this for several reasons, but I had a couple of lingerers that would not take the hint. It made things a million times less stressful. Be aware that no boundaries Mom will just find new ways to intrude, so you'll want to address where people are allowed, what rules they're expected to follow and such. Also make it clear that drop off and pick up times need to be limited to 5 minutes or less and if further communication is required, you can set up a phone call or meeting to address things. I don't know if you're licensed (I'm license exempt since I keep less than 5), but I know the licensed ones use liability as a reason that people's activities on their property are limited. "Licensing is really cracking down on how long people are lingering on the property / non daycare children accessing restricted areas, etc so moving forward...." A simple note or letter noting the changes would be nice, but you have old habits you'll need to break and this is the easiest way to do that. After that, you will have to speak up and remind Mom of the rules though. I really had to learn to grow a backbone.

I handled my change by doing a post on my closed group just for the daycare that I have on Facebook. I had enough and just couldn't anymore with the crap, so I posted it on Saturday for the following Monday. "Starting Monday (3/7), pick ups and drop offs will happen at the side entrance. I listed the "door times" (when the door would be unlocked) and said that drop offs or pick ups would need to happen at the front door outside of those hours with parents keeping it to a minimum due to the disruptions it caused. I didn't want to leave the door unlocked indefinitely and the side room is also my nap room, so it wouldn't always be accessible anyway. The room is adjacent to my daycare room with the kitchen in between, so they come to the doorway, say goodbye and go in to the daycare room. The front door leads right in to my daycare room.

The lingerers were so unhappy about the change! I actually ended up having to call a meeting to address why I made the changes. The other 2 parents didn't feel a need to attend because they completely understood. I apologized for not better explaining my reasoning to them (no, I didn't owe it to them, but I was trying to offer an olive branch) and then made it clear that if the arrangement no longer worked for them, I completely understood and they were welcome to give notice. 1 said she'd "have to talk to DCD about it all". I told her I completely understood (they stayed on for another year and a half until she moved on to Junior Kindergarten). They were both high maintenance, but they were some of my first clients when I had no experience (and no rules), so I tolerated a lot until their children moved on to school. Now, I have policies and it is great! Oh, interesting story, when 1 of the lingerers started, she was supposed to drop off at 7:30 (my first in each day). Slowly that changed and she would come later and hang around forever, so when I set the door times I set it for 8 (when she usually showed up). She said "oh, I need a 7:30 drop off. I'm really getting in trouble at work for showing up late." I said "OK, then I'll open for you at 7:30". Next morning, she shows up at 8 with another crazy excuse about why she's late, so I said "why don't you just text me when you leave your house. I'll be ready by the time you get here." After that, not only did she rarely arrive before 8, but she actually learned that if she missed the door time, she had an audience again with me at the front door, so she would arrive after 9:15!!! I just had to let her know it was time for me to serve breakfast and get her to leave.

I know this is a long reply, but I just wanted to let you know the possible "fun" you are in for. Anticipate as many issues as you can and have rules in place to discourage them. At the meeting, I gave several reasons why I made the change, but the one that seemed to hit home the most was when I mentioned how I was potty training one of the girls once day (using a training potty in my daycare room.... I don't move them to the bathroom until they're using the training potty regularly) and a DCD arrived to pick up his child. The potty training girl decided at that moment decided to streak through the front room, which made DCD incredible uncomfortable. I explained to the Moms that side door drop off/ pick up would virtually eliminate strangers seeing their child half naked. It was a good point that appealed to their selfish nature

Thanks for your reply! I was trying to go through every scenario in my head, and my biggest concern is her kids still running wild and running up our deck. We also have chickens in the back and the kids told dcm they wanted to see them and dcm said "fine, really quick." I was like, um no! Who do you think you are lady?

I think in the letter I'm just going to have to be very blunt and say something like "due to safety and liability concerns, please do not let your child/children go anywhere except from your vehicle to the gate. Any other part of the property is off limits. Lack of respect for boundaries may result in termination." I don't know. Sounds a little harsh, but I need to be

[gonecrazy]

I would send one letter to everyone. I would tell the effective date and also state that due to liability concerns they and any other family members with them are to be in daycare areas ONLY for drop off and pick up. That areas such as the porch, etc. are off limits. I would attach a copy of the letter for each of them to sign and return saying they got the letter and understand. One copy for them to keep, one to return.

You may have to get tough with the mom. I have a 2 1/2 year old that behaves horribly when Mom comes to get him. My main pickup/drop off is the front door which opens into my dining/kitchen area. He isn't allowed in that area during the day unless we are eating or doing a craft. He takes spells where he goes nuts when she picks him up running back and forth onto my carpet with his shoes on, jumping onto the furniture (living room/dining/kitchen are one big open room), pulling stuff from my cabinets, etc. I give her the opportunity to get him under control but often times I have to step in. When it gets really bad I meet her with him on the front porch for a few days and don't allow it to happen. I am mean though and don't allow daycare kids or parents into other areas of my house nor would I allow other kids to go wild in my home.

[Cat Herder]

"Parents are required to hold their children's hands to and from the vehicle per insurance regulations. Violations will not be tolerated as this keeps tuition rates down for everyone. Thanks in advance for your cooperation."

Signed, Daycare owner who will not pay your medical bills or lost wages when your kid is injured due to your negligence.

[284878]

Send a text to all the parents

Starting Monday we will be using the basement door for all pick up and drop off. Remember when entering to remove your and your child shoes. Please confirm that you received this message. Thank you.

Get a rope and rope off the entrance to the deck with a sign that says
Deck broken, use other door.

Then a note on the door that says
knock

When they enter, shoe them the new spot for their shoes. Even if it hasn't changed.

[284878]

Originally Posted by 284878

Send a text to all the parents

Starting Monday we will be using the basement door for all pick up and drop off. Remember when entering to remove your and your child shoes. Please confirm that you received this message. Thank you.

Get a rope and rope off the entrance to the deck with a sign that says
Deck broken, use other door.

Then a note on the door that says
knock

When they enter, show them the new spot for their shoes. Even if it hasn't changed.

Oh praise them for everything

Oh great, you got my message, I wasn't sure since you didn't respond.

Oh great you didn't have any trouble taking your shoes off today.

See you at pick up, now get out. (Ok don't actually say that last part)

[AmyKidsCo]

Originally Posted by CountryRoads

Thanks for your reply! I was trying to go through every scenario in my head, and my biggest concern is her kids still running wild and running up our deck. We also have chickens in the back and the kids told dcm they wanted to see them and dcm said "fine, really quick." I was like, um no! Who do you think you are lady?

I think in the letter I'm just going to have to be very blunt and say something like "due to safety and liability concerns, please do not let your child/children go anywhere except from your vehicle to the gate. Any other part of the property is off limits. Lack of respect for boundaries may result in termination." I don't know. Sounds a little harsh, but I need to be

Can you put up a fence from the driveway to the door so they can't get to the other areas of the yard? I used to keep the play yard gate open until a mom let her child play there for a few minutes before leaving (they can get to the car without going near the play yard). Now that the gate is locked they don't go there anymore.

[Blackcat31]

I am so blunt and "unforgiving" that I would literally walk to the front door, unlock it, open it and say "You were notified of the change in entrances. This is the last time I am going to address this change. Unless you use the new entrance, I will not accept your child into care. Thank you! See you at the DAYCARE DOOR!" and then I would close the door and lock it behind me.

I am over parents playing stupid, ignorant or oblivious to things they are perfectly capable of understanding.

I don't "play" well with those types of adults so I would handle this much differently than most. I save what patience I have for the kids.

[CountryRoads]

Okay, so we got the driveway put in and next week everyone will be using the daycare door for drop-offs and pick-ups. I will be letting everyone know at pick-up tonight.

I need to let the dcm (ya know, the one who lets her 2 kids run wild), that they can not go anywhere else except from the vehicle to the gate. How do I let her know this? She has major boundary issues so I need to let her know it is NOT an option. Should I blame licensing somehow? I was also going to let her know that she can leave one kids inside while she takes the other to the car since she can't seem to handle both.

I kinda spied last night when they left, and she had her back turned to dcb while putting her other child in the car. Dcb was kicking things, kicking dirt, throwing, rocks, and running under our deck

I need to make this clear to her that it is a liability and anything other than from the gate to her car is off limits. I have confrontation issues (lack of a backbone), so any help is appreciated!

Thanks!

[CountryRoads]

I quickly let her know this morning about the entrance change, but told her I would elaborate later. Should I just type up a message and send it to everyone now, then send a reminder message over the weekend?

[Snowmom]

I have the perfect solution: get rid of this family.

She (and her kids) sounds disrespectful. Why deal with that?

[CountryRoads]

Originally Posted by Snowmom

I have the perfect solution: get rid of this family.

She (and her kids) sounds disrespectful. Why deal with that?

Ugh, I know. They are one of my only families with 2 kids so they are a big chunk of my income. I wish I could.

I've been trying to fill a spot for a few weeks now. Just a slow time, I guess.

[MomBoss]

Originally Posted by knoxmomof2

I actually did this for several reasons, but I had a couple of lingerers that would not take the hint. It made things a million times less stressful. Be aware that no boundaries Mom will just find new ways to intrude, so you'll want to address where people are allowed, what rules they're expected to follow and such. Also make it clear that drop off and pick up times need to be limited to 5 minutes or less and if further communication is required, you can set up a phone call or meeting to address things. I don't know if you're licensed (I'm license exempt since I keep less than 5), but I know the licensed ones use liability as a reason that people's activities on their property are limited. "Licensing is really cracking down on how long people are lingering on the property / non daycare children accessing restricted areas, etc so moving forward...." A simple note or letter noting the changes would be nice, but you have old habits you'll need to break and this is the easiest way to do that. After that, you will have to speak up and remind Mom of the rules though. I really had to learn to grow a backbone.

I handled my change by doing a post on my closed group just for the daycare that I have on Facebook. I had enough and just couldn't anymore with the crap, so I posted it on Saturday for the following Monday. "Starting Monday (3/7), pick ups and drop offs will happen at the side entrance. I listed the "door times" (when the door would be unlocked) and said that drop offs or pick ups would need to happen at the front door outside of those hours with parents keeping it to a minimum due to the disruptions it caused. I didn't want to leave the door unlocked indefinitely and the side room is also my nap room, so it wouldn't always be accessible anyway. The room is adjacent to my daycare room with the kitchen in between, so they come to the doorway, say goodbye and go in to the daycare room. The front door leads right in to my daycare room.

The lingerers were so unhappy about the change! I actually ended up having to call a meeting to address why I made the changes. The other 2 parents didn't feel a need to attend because they completely understood. I apologized for not better explaining my reasoning to them (no, I didn't owe it to them, but I was trying to offer an olive branch) and then made it clear that if the arrangement no longer worked for them, I completely understood and they were welcome to give notice. 1 said she'd "have to talk to DCD about it all". I told her I completely understood (they stayed on for another year and a half until she moved on to Junior Kindergarten). They were both high maintenance, but they were some of my first clients when I had no experience (and no rules), so I tolerated a lot until their children moved on to school. Now, I have policies and it is great! Oh, interesting story, when 1 of the lingerers started, she was supposed to drop off at 7:30 (my first in each day). Slowly that changed and she would come later and hang around forever, so when I set the door times I set it for 8 (when she usually showed up). She said "oh, I need a 7:30 drop off. I'm really getting in trouble at work for showing up late." I said "OK, then I'll open for you at 7:30". Next morning, she shows up at 8 with another crazy excuse about why she's late, so I said "why don't you just text me when you leave your house. I'll be ready by the time you get here." After that, not only did she rarely arrive before 8, but she actually learned that if she missed the door time, she had an audience again with me at the front door, so she would arrive after 9:15!!! I just had to let her know it was time for me to serve breakfast and get her to leave.

I know this is a long reply, but I just wanted to let you know the possible "fun" you are in for. Anticipate as many issues as you can and have rules in place to discourage them. At the meeting, I gave several reasons why I made the change, but the one that seemed to hit home the most was when I mentioned how I was potty training one of the girls once day (using a training potty in my daycare room.... I don't move them to the bathroom until they're using the training potty regularly) and a DCD arrived to pick up his child. The potty training girl decided at that moment decided to streak through the front room, which made DCD incredible uncomfortable. I explained to the Moms that side door drop off/ pick up would virtually eliminate strangers seeing their child half naked. It was a good point that appealed to their selfish nature

Who would have thought an entrance change would make parents want to re evaluate if they want to continue care. Goodness..its an entrance. How do they handle it when stores remodel

[Snowmom]

Originally Posted by MomBoss

Who would have thought an entrance change would make parents want to re evaluate if they want to continue care. Goodness..its an entrance. How do they handle it when stores remodel

Lol. I stopped shopping at Target after they remodeled.
So, I guess it does happen.

[rosieteddy]

I think you need to be blunt. Obviously she doesn't get it.You need to say or write no more running around.Children and siblings need to come and go quickly.I often met parents in driveway if still daylight at door ready to go otherwise.I never hesitated to call them out when child misbehaved while leaving.

[CountryRoads]

Originally Posted by rosieteddy

I think you need to be blunt. Obviously she doesn't get it.You need to say or write no more running around.Children and siblings need to come and go quickly.I often met parents in driveway if still daylight at door ready to go otherwise.I never hesitated to call them out when child misbehaved while leaving.

I just typed up a letter to give to everybody that is very blunt. I'm hoping it works.

Dcm is the type who just doesn't care, I guess? I will have to physically go get her child if he's somewhere he's not supposed to be, because she won't. I hate parenting other peoples kids.

[284878]

Originally Posted by Snowmom

Lol. I stopped shopping at Target after they remodeled.
So, I guess it does happen.

Haha So did I.

[tlemother]

Originally Posted by Snowmom

Lol. I stopped shopping at Target after they remodeled.
So, I guess it does happen.

Ha me too! I hate the new remodel.

[knoxmomof2]

Originally Posted by MomBoss

Who would have thought an entrance change would make parents want to re evaluate if they want to continue care. Goodness..its an entrance. How do they handle it when stores remodel

She was losing her audience and couldn't hold me captive while she rambled on any more. She also liked to butt in with the kids a bit, which I didn't allow. She tried to hint that the change made her suspicious since they couldn't see into the daycare room anymore (except for the huge floor to ceiling windows that face the driveway... Lol) I just said "you've been with me for 3 years. If you don't trust me by now, I'm not sure what to tell you. You need to do what is best for your family. I'm doing what is best for mine."

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by CountryRoads

I just typed up a letter to give to everybody that is very blunt. I'm hoping it works.

Dcm is the type who just doesn't care, I guess? I will have to physically go get her child if he's somewhere he's not supposed to be, because she won't. I hate parenting other peoples kids.

How did drop off go with this family?

[CountryRoads]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

How did drop off go with this family?

As far as I could tell it went good. I could see that both kids walked to the gate, but then ran to go play with the outside toys. She did go grab dcb and bring him to the door. It was a little awkward. I'm sure she knew the letter was for her. Pick up tends to be the worst, so hopefully that goes well. I'm prepared to step in if I have to, though.