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  #101  
Old 10-19-2014, 07:32 PM
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None of the kids are left to cry; if they need help getting to sleep they get it. That's what I'm talking about.. sometimes they need several tries to get them to sleep.

I'm not trying to stick her with dealing with my child, I'm just saying she's agreed many times to try and go put my daughter down to get her used to her, so it wouldn't end up like this... it seeming like my kid needs instant and specific attention no matter what anyone else needs. She never followed through, which isn't her responsibility, but she agreed several times that it would be nice for her to be able to go put her down if I wasn't available. I don't think it would take that much time, but I understand if she's just not interested. It all goes back to whether or not it's really that big of an issue for me to go spend the time with my daughter after everyone else is taken care of.

I don't sleep with her for naps, in case anyone's wondering.

I also don't have ANY issue at all with sleep training, formula feeding, whatever the heck else anyone else does with their kids... I feel like I should make that clear but I also feel like I'm constantly defending myself to people who just aren't familiar with how I've ended up doing things...
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  #102  
Old 10-19-2014, 07:53 PM
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I still don't think you are "hearing" us. No one is telling you to stop. Just that it isn't working at your job. Also the only "not necessary references" were to point out that it is not necessary for her survival. As in, if she were under a year old and this were her only means of eating, then it would be necessary for you to nurse her, or to pump.

I should consider it a luxury to be able to do something that is pretty basic, definitely counts as criticism
You are taking it out of context. It IS a luxury that you have been able to work AND comfort breastfeed your child. ANYONE would agree to that! How many people do you know that have jobs that allow them to breastfeed during working hours? I have a part time job. I can't imagine the reaction I would get if I asked my boss if I could bring my child in to breastfeed for comfort or on demand.

You said you want someone to say "You are doing what is best for you and your baby, sometimes outside influences can make it hard or impossible to continue doing things in the way that would be best, and that can be hard." Isn't this what we have been saying???? Maybe not in the exact words you are looking for, but if you already know these exact words then I'm not sure what else you are looking for.



Most of us are mothers and many of us have breastfed, so it isn't a matter of being against working mothers or breastfeeding. It's about what does or doesn't work in a daycare.


or while you work at Walmart, or while she's in school. I have no issue at all with your breastfeeding choices. I just think you need to be a realist about it. Sometimes, you have to prioritize, that's all.
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  #103  
Old 10-19-2014, 08:00 PM
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None of the kids are left to cry; if they need help getting to sleep they get it. That's what I'm talking about.. sometimes they need several tries to get them to sleep.
On a side note: THAT"s why (or one example thereof) a childcare provider with only 4 children enrolled needs not only 1, but 2 helpers. As we started out, there is NO WAY that's financially feasible.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 10-20-2014 at 07:40 AM.
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  #104  
Old 10-19-2014, 08:12 PM
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I really do understand, and of course I wish everyone would just agree with me

I get that it's probably not going to work out long term, unless it really helps having my daughter there less frequently. Especially if it can work out so a spot is freed up for a paying client.

I just felt compelled to explain how my nursing relationship works, for those who actually asked, and those who, whether I was perceiving it wrong or not, seemed to just dismiss it. I know it's probably assumed that I'm still nursing her with the frequency with which I would nurse a 6 month old by a lot of people, and I often feel the need to clear up how it actually works.

I'm hoping this new plan works out, because it could be beneficial to everyone. My daughter would have even more time away from me to get more comfortable without nursing to sleep or for comfort, maybe my husband would shape up a bit, and hopefully my boss will be able to focus more on other aspects of her business.
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  #105  
Old 10-19-2014, 08:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
On a side note: THAT"s why (or one example thereof) a childcare provider with only 4 children enrolled needs not only 1, but 2 helpers. As we started out, there is NO WAY that's financially feasible.
I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean...? Do you mean the kids should have no help going to sleep and that's what's taking up a bunch of time? It really doesn't take that much time if we work together...

Financially though, it's feasible because she doesn't pay enough. The second helper works 3 hours a week, I don't know how much she pays her.
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  #106  
Old 10-19-2014, 08:26 PM
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I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean...? Do you mean the kids should have no help going to sleep and that's what's taking up a bunch of time? It really doesn't take that much time if we work together...

Yes, that's what I mean. Not one of my children needs to be patted, rocked, or otherwise coaxed to sleep. When they are done with lunch, they literally run enthusiastically to their beds and wait for me (if they can't get in themselves). Well, one honestly doesn't. He's the one who started at a later age and has always been part time. He gives the whole bed thing "mixed reviews". Most days, there's a good 5 minute tantrum, and then he goes to sleep. When I come to get him up, he always greats me with an enthustiastic "HIeeeeyy!"

But, she needs a helper because even though it doesn't take much time, she can't be two or four places at once. She can't go settle one child with patting for 5 minutes, even, and leave 3 others alone in another room. 5 minutes per child, plus transit time, means it would take a good half hour of that. If she were by herself, she could use that half hour to clean, do book keeping, eat her lunch, do deep breathing excercises, throw in a load of laundry, and call her mother or husband or plumber. She could make afternoon snack, set up and activity, or do absolutely nothing for a few minutes.

Financially though, it's feasible because she doesn't pay enough. The second helper works 3 hours a week, I don't know how much she pays her.
I don't know what rates are in your area. Maybe that's a factor. I pay my assistant $8 per hour, and it takes 2 kids to cover her 30 hours a week.
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  #107  
Old 10-19-2014, 08:36 PM
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It's about what does or doesn't work in a daycare.
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  #108  
Old 10-19-2014, 08:59 PM
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I'm not a daycare provider, but a mom of a toddler. She goes to preschool in a group care setting, but I would pull her from if one of the teachers was a nursing mom who expected to nurse while she was supposed to be supervising my child and others. I am surprised that your employer allowed it at all. I am not against breastfeeding. I chose to breastfeed until she was 12 months old (took 4 months FMLA (my state, Tennessee, allows it), rearranged my schedule for an early lunch then pumped once in my office in the afternoon). I even kept breastfeeding at bedtime til she wanted to stop on her own, which was about 2 months later. However, I would not let my child stay in a situation you are describing. I would put her somewhere that the teachers (or providers and assistants) did not have the conflicting role of being a breastfeeding mom while on duty. Sorry. I do hope it works out for you, but I agree with the others, this is not the right situation for you, your family, your employer and (at least in my opinion) the other children in your care.
Most of the people here are commenting the way they do because it's a problem for her employer... not because they feel it necessarily impacts her ability to care for other children. They have a 5 children to 2 adult ratio! Caring for her occasional breastfeeding toddler, and the baby in the group while supervising the other children should not be a problem

Many home child care providers (and parents!) do so in a mixed age setting and take care of infants along with older children. Proper care of infants generally include sitting down and holding them while breastfeeding or giving them a bottle. Weather or not it's breastfeeding (generally done discretely) or bottle feeding, it's usually done in the same way. This doesn't mean that the other children are not being supervised. In both situations the provider can talk to the other children... and/ or stop feeding the infant if it's needed to intervene... although the timing of feeding is generally done when the older children are in independent play (which is crucial for their creativity, problem solving, social etc skills!), and little to no intervention is needed for at least a few minutes.

While I did try to time breastfeeding during times I could sit down for a little while, and make sure she wasn't going to be frantically hungry and/or tired at higher activity times... I have breastfed (covered in a carrier), while pushing toddlers in a double stroller.... Breastfeeding did NOT ever impact my ability to care for other children.... and probably less so then a bottle feeding would have been, as I couldn't do that in a carrier, and I would have had to take time to prepare the bottle (which is what I did for the other children in my care).

I completely support your decision though to decide what you want for your child's care. It looks like you chose a preschool setting where caring for infants isn't something that happens.
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  #109  
Old 10-19-2014, 09:29 PM
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You're CRUNCHY! Why didn't you just say so! Where's Mother Nature....

I'm not very familiar with the crunchy style of parenting, but I do know it's usually not conducive to the work environment.
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  #110  
Old 10-19-2014, 10:36 PM
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A provider's feeding an infant with a 5 to 1 or 5:2 ratio is not an issue. But, the owner leaves to teach aerobics with the other assistant. If she is not leaving, but is assisting her hired assistant, perhaps she has the same reservations that I have. I just think it takes a special person to watch his or her own children and provide the same level of care to others at the same time. Some can do it, but many cannot. This mom is obviously devoted to her child, as she should be, but the tone of the thread makes me think that when at work, she sees herself as mom first then as an employee/caregiver. That is not who I want caring for my child. On the other hand, she sounds like a great mom. I would love for her child to be my child's friend and playmate, because kids with devoted and loving parents are often really great kids. And I would probably want to be her friend, because she sounds like a kind and caring woman.
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  #111  
Old 10-20-2014, 04:11 AM
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"full hippie"? Does that mean "attached parenting" ?
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  #112  
Old 10-20-2014, 05:25 AM
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Have you applied for child care assistance?
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  #113  
Old 10-20-2014, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Elko View Post
I really do understand, and of course I wish everyone would just agree with me

I get that it's probably not going to work out long term, unless it really helps having my daughter there less frequently. Especially if it can work out so a spot is freed up for a paying client.

I just felt compelled to explain how my nursing relationship works, for those who actually asked, and those who, whether I was perceiving it wrong or not, seemed to just dismiss it. I know it's probably assumed that I'm still nursing her with the frequency with which I would nurse a 6 month old by a lot of people, and I often feel the need to clear up how it actually works.

I'm hoping this new plan works out, because it could be beneficial to everyone. My daughter would have even more time away from me to get more comfortable without nursing to sleep or for comfort, maybe my husband would shape up a bit, and hopefully my boss will be able to focus more on other aspects of her business.
It hasn't been mentioned tht I could find but I wnt to point out that having your daughter not in dycre 3 days a week actually doesn't "free a spot" at all. What if n interviewing family wants. Full time spot?? What if those here days a week vary? Then really it doesn't free up a spot at all.
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  #114  
Old 10-20-2014, 06:19 AM
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That's why I thought the owner could file an exception for her maybe? Not sure how that works exactly...

I'm not all around crunchy, just ended up, to my own surprise, doing a couple things the people who like to call themselves "attached parents" do. I would never call myself any "kind" of parent, as I don't do everything that any label seems to call for.

And I guess you'd just have to witness for yourself to see if I'm making it harder on my employer. I'm still trying to get an explanation for why my time spent with my daughter is different from the time she's ok with spending with the others...? And by that I mean, for either of us, I want to remind you she's not putting everyone to bed and I'm only dealing with mine. I've done all of them myself before while she feeds the baby.
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  #115  
Old 10-20-2014, 06:23 AM
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And yes, when I nurse my daughter if the other kids are around, it's always when they're occupied safely playing together. Just like the others, if my daughter just wants to nurse but nothing major happened, I'll give her a hug and bring her somewhere to play with something. They all have times where they need a little guidance and distraction from whatever their comfort item is (the 20-month-old still has a binky, and when he gets distraught starts yelling "BINKY!!" and we usually try and distract him from it with other things.)
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  #116  
Old 10-20-2014, 06:28 AM
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Originally Posted by lblanke View Post
This mom is obviously devoted to her child, as she should be, but the tone of the thread makes me think that when at work, she sees herself as mom first then as an employee/caregiver. That is not who I want caring for my child. On the other hand, she sounds like a great mom. I would love for her child to be my child's friend and playmate, because kids with devoted and loving parents are often really great kids. And I would probably want to be her friend, because she sounds like a kind and caring woman.
Well, that's harsh I'm hoping it just comes across that way to you because of the subject matter; I'm talking about me and my daughter, so we're going to be the main subjects of this thread. I could start a thread all about the other kids and how much time and energy and love I put into them, and how well I know them, and the conversations I have with their parents about them, but what would be the point of that?
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  #117  
Old 10-20-2014, 06:53 AM
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Heidi, for some reason I can't quote you, maybe because the font is blue?

I think that's great that all your kids put themselves to bed; one of ours is close, the "difficult" one is off and on, but if he's stressed when he goes to bed it's much harder. Mine takes about 10 minutes usually.

She's mentioned wanting to get them all to go right to bed so she can have a break, so I say "Let's make sure you get a break every day, no matter what. We can get all the kids down then you disappear to your room for an hour. I'll take care of everyone as they start waking up."

She follows that with "Well, I just think they all need to be able to get themselves to sleep". Does she mean that in theory, all children should be able to self-soothe and put themselves to sleep by 17, 20, or 23 months? If so, it's really not up to her what children "should" be able to do. I've told her, if she wants me to I'll just stick the other kids in their playpens, close the door, and walk away. That's what she says her friend does, and after some crying, they eventually "get over it". It's not what I do with my daughter, and I'm not going to, but I'll do it if she wants me to for the others. That's where it gets sticky, I know. That's why I was trying to start working with my daughter to transition her into being able to put her in the pnp. I honestly don't know how long it would take, and it would require some help from the owner. So, I can see why she wouldn't be interested.

I thought I could fix it by saying she could take a break when all the kids were down, and I"d deal with mine then. Nope. It wasn't enough, she just wanted to make sure I knew that none of her kids ever needed any help to sleep, ever, (except that the third one did, she needed to be physically held still until she was about 2 in order to fall asleep. But somehow that's different She always says "I just didn't give her a choice, it wasn't up to her, she had to take a nap!" Saying I don't do that with mine... ) Her husband also recently revealed that 2 of the 3 cried it out for a couple weeks to learn to sleep. I don't care that that's what happened, just that the owner claimed they never had any trouble getting their kids to sleep, so clearly I've been doing something wrong
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  #118  
Old 10-20-2014, 06:58 AM
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distraction from whatever their comfort item is (the 20-month-old still has a binky, and when he gets distraught starts yelling "BINKY!!" and we usually try and distract him from it with other things.)
This ^^ This is what you are doing differently for Your Child.
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  #119  
Old 10-20-2014, 07:23 AM
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What? How? I said I distract her just like him; if something major happens he gets his binky and a cuddle, she gets a couple minutes nursing...
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  #120  
Old 10-20-2014, 07:40 AM
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OP~ If you spent half as much time convincing your husband to stand up to HIS responsibilities as you have trying to convince your employer (as well as the members here) to understand/accept the need to breastfeed and cuddle your child you might just have a solution to your issue.

I am floored that your husband is basically being let off the hook as far as his fatherly responsibilities are. Or heck, even his family responsibilities.

So far, the only thing you've offered on his behalf are excuses as to why he can't step up for his daughter and his wife.

If I were a parent with a less-than-willing participant in a 2 person relationship WITH a child, I would do whatever necessary to support myself and my child if he wouldn't step up and do his share.

As a matter of fact, I was a young mother with a child and a father that wasn't as willing to accept his responsibilities and since he wasn't willing to then I HAD to but NO WAY was I going to put myself in the position of supporting two people when one of those people was an ADULT.

I'm sorry but like Craftymom, I felt really bad for your situation when you first posted but now after reading everything, it seems to me that you want your employer to change EVERYTHING she does to meet YOUR needs but yet don't have the same expectations for your HUSBAND when it IS HIS responsibility.

I don't understand any of that.

As for the employer issue....she has an issue. It's VERY clear.

Find a different job. I am willing to bet this is not going to end well and it's only a matter of time.

I sincerely wish you well but I also hope you will seriously consider some of the perspectives offered here.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 10-20-2014 at 07:44 AM.
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  #121  
Old 10-20-2014, 07:50 AM
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Heidi, for some reason I can't quote you, maybe because the font is blue?

I think that's great that all your kids put themselves to bed; one of ours is close, the "difficult" one is off and on, but if he's stressed when he goes to bed it's much harder. Mine takes about 10 minutes usually.

She's mentioned wanting to get them all to go right to bed so she can have a break, so I say "Let's make sure you get a break every day, no matter what. We can get all the kids down then you disappear to your room for an hour. I'll take care of everyone as they start waking up."

She follows that with "Well, I just think they all need to be able to get themselves to sleep". Does she mean that in theory, all children should be able to self-soothe and put themselves to sleep by 17, 20, or 23 months? If so, it's really not up to her what children "should" be able to do. I've told her, if she wants me to I'll just stick the other kids in their playpens, close the door, and walk away. That's what she says her friend does, and after some crying, they eventually "get over it". It's not what I do with my daughter, and I'm not going to, but I'll do it if she wants me to for the others. That's where it gets sticky, I know. That's why I was trying to start working with my daughter to transition her into being able to put her in the pnp. I honestly don't know how long it would take, and it would require some help from the owner. So, I can see why she wouldn't be interested.

I thought I could fix it by saying she could take a break when all the kids were down, and I"d deal with mine then. Nope. It wasn't enough, she just wanted to make sure I knew that none of her kids ever needed any help to sleep, ever, (except that the third one did, she needed to be physically held still until she was about 2 in order to fall asleep. But somehow that's different She always says "I just didn't give her a choice, it wasn't up to her, she had to take a nap!" Saying I don't do that with mine... ) Her husband also recently revealed that 2 of the 3 cried it out for a couple weeks to learn to sleep. I don't care that that's what happened, just that the owner claimed they never had any trouble getting their kids to sleep, so clearly I've been doing something wrong
She has told you what she expects, you aren't willing to do the same for your daughter. You want special for your daughter. She needs to stay home with dad while you work. You need to follow your bosses instructions or find a new job. You have been given a ton of advice at this point, take from it what you will.

FYI-I care for 5 DCK's on my own plus 2 of my own. All of my DCK's go happily to sleep, no tears, no rocking or rubbing backs, they lay down and sleep ages 12mo-4. Routine is key.
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  #122  
Old 10-20-2014, 07:51 AM
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I do agree with BC that the husband needs to man up and be a husband and father, or excuse himself from the relationship. Or op should do it for him. He sounds like a deadbeat dad. Won't (until very recently) watch his own child, works when he feels like it, has other problems that make op not trust him. What does he do during the day if he only works sporadically? Sleep? Play video games? Hang with friends? While you're busting your butt to feed him and put a roof over his head?
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  #123  
Old 10-20-2014, 08:00 AM
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FYI-I care for 5 DCK's on my own plus 2 of my own. All of my DCK's go happily to sleep, no tears, no rocking or rubbing backs, they lay down and sleep ages 12mo-4. Routine is key.


Mine too, except my ages are 3 months - 3.5 years. They run to their mats and cover themselves up. I recently had 2 difficult new starts, but now they are happy nappers also
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  #124  
Old 10-20-2014, 01:10 PM
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FYI-I care for 5 DCK's on my own plus 2 of my own. All of my DCK's go happily to sleep, no tears, no rocking or rubbing backs, they lay down and sleep ages 12mo-4. Routine is key.
Same here. It took a little bit of time, but not much. Everyone happily goes to bed and STAYS in bed reading books until naptime is over. They are between 13 months and 28 months old.
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  #125  
Old 10-20-2014, 02:37 PM
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Mine too, except my ages are 3 months - 3.5 years. They run to their mats and cover themselves up. I recently had 2 difficult new starts, but now they are happy nappers also
Can I see your 3 month old run to a mat? I kid, I kid
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  #126  
Old 10-20-2014, 02:56 PM
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Can I see your 3 month old run to a mat? I kid, I kid


I noticed that after I posted and chuckled to myself!
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  #127  
Old 10-20-2014, 07:47 PM
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About my husband, we have our difficulties, I don't feel comfortable getting into details so you have to just trust me that it's been the best situation, out a lot of options, for us to be in. I've gone over and over every possible option and for my child to be raised safely and well-adjusted I have to do what I'm doing. And anyone saying I need to just "tell him" to do what I need him to do, may not have lived with an unsupportive partner with their own major issues...

Today the owner and I talked more, of course, and there are potentially 2 more toddlers starting in the next few weeks. The owner mentioned putting 4 pnps in one room, and putting everyone down and just staying in there with them while they go to sleep... we went back and forth on my nursing, she finally claimed she never acted like my nursing was causing any issues, and I had to point out that she continually criticized it as bad parenting. She kept doing it, and I kept saying "stop! What you did and what you think about my parenting is absolutely unrelated to how it affects your business!" She kept insisting she just wanted to do what got everyone to sleep fastest, without just sticking them in a crib and closing the door. I said "The fastest way to get my kid down is for me to nurse her. It takes no more time than the other kids, so I'm just going to keep doing it and making sure it doesn't affect you or the others". She had absolutely no argument to it, she just REALLY wanted to point out that I'm being controlled by my toddler, and it's going to be hard for me in the long run

I was starting to feel for her after a weekend talking with you guys, but it really became clear that she just wants to push her ideas on me and my routine with my daughter really doesn't negatively impact her life at all. So even though she thought I should keep bringing her in every day for "consistency" (in relation to training her to sleep on her own, which turned out to not be necessary) I'm going to continue leaving her at home most days so the issue just sort of fizzles on it's own. Hopefully.

My husband apparently had a rough day with our daughter today, and I got stuck WAY late at work because dcm got stuck way late at HER work... Bah.

I'll update, as we see how things go...
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  #128  
Old 10-20-2014, 07:53 PM
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Also, those who say their kids all go to bed easily with no help, did you do a CIO period to cause it? Or did they all arrive sleep-trained? Just curious...
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Old 10-20-2014, 08:05 PM
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I think there's no way to avoid a little unhappiness at nap time at first. New environment, new person, new routine. Idk if you'd call that CIO, but yes, it took some time and effort for my kids to go to sleep without fussing. And on occasion, they still do. If they're grumpy or overly tired or are thinking I'm going to have a party without them the instant they close their eyes, then they may fuss for a minute before drifting off. I have found that spending lots of time bedside with them actually extends the amount of time it takes for them to fall asleep.
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Old 10-20-2014, 08:35 PM
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I didn't breastfed - my milk never came in. But I did do a lot of attachment parenting and ds slept with us for a long time. I didn't plan it that way and didnt even know what I was doing had a name ...

To this day (ds is 7) - I love it when he hops in bed with us. DH does not, so it generally only happens when he is sick.

We did CIO when ds was 3. Before then I would let him fall asleep in our bed and then move him. I never needed ds to be on a schedule...

You will figure it out when the time is right. CIO will have to happen at some point, but it doesn't have to happen until you are ready.
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Old 10-20-2014, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elko View Post
Also, those who say their kids all go to bed easily with no help, did you do a CIO period to cause it? Or did they all arrive sleep-trained? Just curious...
Babies are born able TO sleep... It's our job to teach them the skills to do it on their own... Without bouncing, patting, rocking, swinging, and other forms of "entertainment".

That said, the earlier you start sleep training... The better...and the less crying and stress involved.

But at the age of your LO, it will take time and patience. Your little one CAN LEARN, but they are depending on YOU to teach them.
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Old 10-21-2014, 06:23 AM
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No, I believe she'll learn to self-soothe and put herself to sleep on her own timeline. She's making progress, already asking to sleep on her own bed sometimes, sometimes moving around and going to sleep on her own instead of nursing to sleep, etc. It just takes longer when you don't "force" it with sleep training.

I have nothing against OTHER people sleep-training, not claiming anyone's harming their baby or anything like that, I just choose not to do it. There is a lot of info online if you want to see if I'm just making it up or if it's a legitimate way of parenting

I was asking as far as your daycare kids, did you let them cry it out for a while before they got used to sleeping there? I assume their parents would have told you if they didn't sleep train, and it would have been complicated (which is why I avoided daycare until now because I didn't want to annoy someone with a back and forth over whether my daughter would sleep for them with no crying).

Now I know she'd sleep for anyone willing to spend 5-10 minutes, but I'm still not willing to leave her crying alone in a room, or leave her with anyone who will.
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Old 10-21-2014, 06:27 AM
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Good sleep is all about HABIT.
As a parent, you set up the habit from birth.
Train them to sleep alone, or train them to sleep with parents.
Train them to sleep in a crib, or train them to sleep in a device.
It's ALL sleep "training".
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Old 10-21-2014, 06:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elko View Post
No, I believe she'll learn to self-soothe and put herself to sleep on her own timeline. She's making progress, already asking to sleep on her own bed sometimes, sometimes moving around and going to sleep on her own instead of nursing to sleep, etc. It just takes longer when you don't "force" it with sleep training.

I have nothing against OTHER people sleep-training, not claiming anyone's harming their baby or anything like that, I just choose not to do it. There is a lot of info online if you want to see if I'm just making it up or if it's a legitimate way of parenting

I was asking as far as your daycare kids, did you let them cry it out for a while before they got used to sleeping there? I assume their parents would have told you if they didn't sleep train, and it would have been complicated (which is why I avoided daycare until now because I didn't want to annoy someone with a back and forth over whether my daughter would sleep for them with no crying).

Now I know she'd sleep for anyone willing to spend 5-10 minutes, but I'm still not willing to leave her crying alone in a room, or leave her with anyone who will.
To be honest, my "best" sleepers have been here since they were tiny babies (6 weeks). I never had to let them "CIO" because they just never needed to. From the first day I had them here, they were put to bed awake , tucked in (we can use blankets here...tightly fitted around the edge of the mattress or swaddle).

The only one who does make a fuss is the one I inherited at 9 months. She had been napping in a swing (at the "babysitters") until that point. I tried to be as gentle as possible and always prepared her before nap with our routines (for instance, she's still always the last one down so she can see the others going to bed). But, most days, she still protests for about a minute before caving and going to sleep. She's been here 5 months. In the beginning, that would be 7-8 minutes, beginning the moment we walked into the bedroom she sleeps in. So, an improvement, and some days she just lays down and doesn't peep.
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Old 10-21-2014, 07:59 AM
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What's with the tags? I could see "the Neverending thread", but "the dynamic of bad behavior"? Who's bad behavior? Mom isn't behaving badly, it's just her parenting style and the issues that come with it. And "train wreck"? Really?? There are a few threads on the forum that would be considered a train wreck, but not this one. It's been civil and professional throughout. Jmho.
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Old 10-21-2014, 08:17 AM
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Tags are hyperlinks to other threads with information, not thread labels.

They are tools.


They may or may not stay.... chill for just a second. Please... I am writing a research paper, needed to contrast social tolerance for clients and providers asking for same "special" on someone else's dime. 10 minutes, tops to grab what I need. This thread was perfect example for one aspect I had not considered before... that is all.

They are gone, now....

Sorry for the moodiness, deadline is today....
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Old 10-21-2014, 08:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
Tags are hyperlinks to other threads with information, not thread labels.

They are tools.


They may or may not stay.... chill for just a second. Please... I am writing a research paper, needed to contrast social tolerance for clients and providers asking for same "special" on someone else's dime. 10 minutes, tops to grab what I need. This thread was perfect example for one aspect I had not considered before... that is all.

They are gone, now....

Sorry for the moodiness, deadline is today....
No, I'm sorry! I thought someone was tagging to be hateful! My bad!!
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Old 10-21-2014, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Wednesday View Post
No, I'm sorry! I thought someone was tagging to be hateful! My bad!!
No, I should have given warning. The tag search just does not seem to work as well and I am getting behind on homework...
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Old 10-21-2014, 09:47 AM
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I'm sure this place has a wealth of info for research. The only reason I noticed is because I was going to suggest that it be tagged as the Neverending thread, so I looked at the tags. What's the other one? Dead horse?
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Old 10-21-2014, 09:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
Tags are hyperlinks to other threads with information, not thread labels.

They are tools.


They may or may not stay.... chill for just a second. Please... I am writing a research paper, needed to contrast social tolerance for clients and providers asking for same "special" on someone else's dime. 10 minutes, tops to grab what I need. This thread was perfect example for one aspect I had not considered before... that is all.

They are gone, now....

Sorry for the moodiness, deadline is today....


LOL!!

As the resident tag adder (and a good one too ) I have to say that half the reason I can quickly find and/or remember specific threads are because of the tags you add.

I wish more posters/readers would add tags.

Sometimes I spend an afternoon just going down the list of post and adding tags.

The more tags the better the search results. ;

The more unique the tags, the easier it is for me to remember.
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Old 10-21-2014, 10:09 AM
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oops double post
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Old 10-21-2014, 10:11 AM
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Dead horse?
That's how I feel about this thread. Sorry to say I contributed. I guess I had time on my hands this weekend

Just keeps circling back around...

I got sucked in
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Old 10-21-2014, 02:19 PM
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That's how I feel about this thread. Sorry to say I contributed. I guess I had time on my hands this weekend

Just keeps circling back around...

I got sucked in
Meeee too. I can't believe this turned into such a hot topic. And we're still posting here. Dang it.
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:54 AM
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Smile You're a great mom!

First I want to say that you are a great mom to be doing that with your daughter!!! Breastfeeding cannot be beaten and the bond is so important to a child. I wish things were the way they should be... Fathers being responsible breadwinners and moms being able to care for their own children. Families are being torn down in the current society. The effects on the children are so very sad! Since we can't go back to that, we can only do the best we can and I would have absolutely NO problem with an employee that wanted to breastfeed their child. I occasionally have a part time helper, and the amount of time that would take wouldn't be enough to cause me concern. Moms should be encouraged to take their time with their children and do what they can with them!!! I spent as much time as I could with both of my daughters and will never regret it! I nursed my now 16 year old until she was 3... that was at bedtime, and she just decided one night she was done. She was way more confident than the day care kids whose moms didn't spend as much one on one time with them. Your daughter is fortunate!
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