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Old 05-31-2012, 07:20 AM
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SunflowerMama SunflowerMama is offline
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Default New Baby Started Yesterday...Wow the Crying

I started an infant sibling yesterday (6 months old). If not being held she's crying. She not taking her bottle well either so I know the poor thing is hungry.

I know they hold her a lot at home and rock to sleep. But obviously in this setting it's impossible.

How do you best adjust an infant this is held a lot at home? How long do you let them cry at nap, on the floor, etc. assuming of course they are changed and fed?

I know it's probably just a matter of time but the last 2 days have been tough!
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Old 05-31-2012, 07:36 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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((((((hugs)))))) as I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I have dealt with a crying needy "hold-me" baby for the entire winter. I know most get over it and can be integrated into your program but mine was an exception and although he improved, he still screams basically 75% of the day.

The only advice I can give you is to just try your best to bond with the child, holding when you can and snuggling during the moments you have....once you have built a secure attachment with her, you will be able to leave her for longer and longer periods of time on her own, whether during tummy time, nap time or play time.

You HAVE to build that bond though before you start delaying the response time to her or she will feel as though her needs are being unment which causes a whole lot of other issues. Once you have that bond with her, she should be able to wait a little bit longer each time she needs something from you and she will soon begin to develop self-help and self soothing skills on her own.

I would talk with the mom/dad though and start encouraging them to let her "fend" for herself for a little bit longer at home before they respond to help her learn the same skills at home. They definitely have a leg up on you as they have already built that bond with her.

Hang in there and I wish I had better advice but one day at a time is all I can tell you.... My screamer is off for the summer and his last day is tomorrow so I am counting down as I type.....

I will see him periodically throughout the summer but by the time he returns in the fall he will be over a year old and had better be on a better schedule with mom....LOL!!! He is tough for her too so I know it isn't me (or his parents). He is just that kind of baby.....and SOOOOOO lucky is is the cutest thing I have ever seen!
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:28 AM
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Thans Blackcat!
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:58 AM
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Her parents may feel better if you suggest they talk to her when they cant (or wont) pick her up right away. Kind of a narration, if you know what I mean. "I see you are upset that I cannot pick you up right now" or "wow, you are really rolling around on the carpet" or "I am making lunch. Can you smell the xx?" Relaxed tone, inspite of her wailing...

or, you (or they) could go for belting out showtunes at the top of your lungs...might confuse her enough to stop!
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Old 05-31-2012, 12:07 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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This baby needs a "come to Jesus" moment with GRAVITY!!!

She needs to be placed on her belly and let her have at it. Put her in a pack n play or a playard where she can have toys and have her belly time.

As for the bottle...is she purely bottle fed at home or is she breastfed? If she's not taking the bottle, I would ask mom if she is solely feeding her from a bottle at home and if it's the same brand of bottles.

Idk if they've started her on baby food or cereal yet but I wouldn't until she makes friends with the bottle and sucks it dry each feeding.

(I would give it a solid 2-4 weeks of the same thing, each and every single day. She will figure it out. )
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Old 05-31-2012, 05:51 PM
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Please do not ignore the baby's cries for attention. It's so vital for the bond to be developed, like Blackcat said, prior to attempting to make a young infant "independent."
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Old 05-31-2012, 09:01 PM
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Default Same boat...

I have a baby part time, and he's young... he started with me at 9 weeks old. He's also currently on a 'bottle strike', breastfed and won't take anymore than an ounce before wailing. He does this with her Husband as well. I'm working on 'bonding', but what I found that I can't live without is the white noise app on my smartphone. I this app! Just put it on oscillating fan and you're good to go. Especially when sleepy, I hug (swaddle), bounce, and set phone on belly with noise. It takes 5 minutes to sleepy land =)

Mom had to come back once, I took baby for walk in his infant seat/stroller, and to calm him I put the app on and put it in the stroller, she came to pick him up and took my phone with her, LOL! After I told her about it she said uses it all the time now too!

Good Luck, It'll get better - at least that's what I keep telling myself!
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:08 PM
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Many babies need the comfort and warmth of a care givers body, especially if they arr new. My infants are carried in an ergo until they feel comfortable to be on the ground by themselves. It makes a world of difference. They can be on my back or my front so it keeps my hands free. I can do almost anything when I'm wearing them and they get the comfort of being close to me. Maybe you can try a carrier with your little one.
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Old 06-01-2012, 12:37 PM
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SunflowerMama SunflowerMama is offline
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Thanks everyone for the great advice!

She's been doing much better with her bottle the last 2 days and ate wonderfully yesterday. She's also napping great. She's not crying as much and I'm always attentive and quick to speak to her even if I can't pick her up right at that moment.

She doing great playing on the floor while I'm next to her and when I leave I've been talking to her so she knows I'm still close by.

I tried my MT wrap and she wasn't a fan but I'm looking at possibly an Ergo or Beco because my own children loved to be worn.

Thanks again for the support/advice.
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